071211

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...I just need to get some things off my chest...

In no particular order of chronology or importance...writing this during All Star Game...there might be interruptions between takes.

1.  I was in the middle of writing my last rant when Jeter was finishing up his 5-5 performance to get 3000 and then some.  I already commented on the home run BEING #3000, but 5-5 too?  Nice work, bro.  You get the downer opening of the rant, though.  You were too EXHAUSTED to play the actual All-Star game?  Exhausted??  Dude.  Fake an injury or something... EVERYONE is tired.  This is about the fans though.  Once again, hitting #3000 in that style=badass.  Not playing the game=downer.
2.  YAYYYYY!!!  We have an early "sky is blue, grass is green" take.  Pacman... Yes, dude.  If we would have made it through this entire lockout without you getting busted at a bar or strip club for something, I would have thought I was daydreaming the ENTIRE time.  Thanks, man.  I don't need to follow this up with a witty joke.  The joke is strong enough without me chirping in. http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/cincinnati-bengals-adam-pacman-jones-arrested-for-disorderly-conduct-while-intoxicated
3.  Jack Nicklaus says to wait on Rory McElroy.  I concur.  Sure, he massacred the field at the U.S.Open, but give him another tournament or two before anointing him the new king of golf.  I believe he is much stronger than what I about to say, but the rest of the young'uns are pretty damn good, and at one point, we all thought Milli Vanilli wasn't lip-syncing also for a few years.
4.  Women's World Cup notes.  Not my strongest suit, and very random.  First of all, I started out watching the game listening to Nate Dogg (yes, the SOLO CD), doing some tedious task moving work on the laptop, and having a screwdriver.  That being said, I was locked in by the second half.  Forget I have a harder time watching women's soccer, forget that I almost forgot it was on...just forget everything except that you are either American or not.  And I am, and I got sucked into a game that had a little of everything...penalty kicks, drama, red cards, close calls, questionable officiating, etc.  The point is that even if you hated America, you would have been tuned in.  And been amazed by the spirit.  It was amazing, and I am glad I watched it live.  I truly felt a high when the thing was over.  And.  Kind of like watching Reggie score 8 pts in 12 seconds and seeing the Grant Hill baseball pass in 1992 (sure, there are 100's of others, but I am supposed to be SHORTENING this thing), I was glad I watched that game...live.
5.  Random notes.  I am glad Wambach got the winner, because I was going to have an entire take on how many of her corner kicks sailed.  One even went to the other side and out.  Redemption, girl.  You more than made up for your astray kicks.  I will bring it back.  The red card was BS and hurt dramatically.  It made the win even more amazing.  I will admit I was in the boy's room when Brazil got that second goal...damn continuously running time with no commercials.  With my love for Star Wars and my Chandler category allowance, I will just say I won't even comment on the Force, Jedi's, and Han...uhhh...Hope Solo in goal.  My actual favorite part of the entire match was Erika jumping up when the stretchers came.  To allude to a Seinfeld reference, you ladies are all Meryl Streep out on that soccer field (relax, the guys are too), but that one was extra funny.  To sum up, I will never regularly talk soccer THAT much, but I will tell you this.  Sunday morning was a MOMENT.
6.  OK.  I cut my workout short to come home and watch this All-Star Game.  Evidently, since this summer the sunniest town in America has turned into Seattle recently along with having more tornado warnings in the last two months since I have been out here in 1997, I am catching like 60% of the game.  It is pissing me off supremely.   With the technology we have today, there HAS to be a way of having only a certain amount of warnings on TV's more than 50 miles away.  Come on.  You are telling me about a tornado warning 100 miles from me.  More importantly, ruining my game.  Anyway, the only reason I know where the tornado was was because I was finally able to decipher the in and out talking of the message after about 6 times.  How the hell can we not have clear emergency messaging after all of the years.  Michael Crichton writes about nanotechnology ten years ago, and I have to decipher some chick telling me to jump under my table from a tornado that is 100 miles away??
7.  My brother was always into Planet of the Apes more than I was.  That being said, I don't even know if the new one coming out is a new creation or a remake, but I have to tell you.  I think I am going to go check it out.  It looks pretty tight.
8.  Speaking of movies, my buddy and I are keeping each other motivated on this blogging stuff, but another shout out to him, as it will motivate him to keep posting blogs...because I have SO many people reading this at this point.  LOL.  http://rockiesmovies.blogspot.com/  Also, he convinced me that Larry Crowne is a rental.  I am not sure why the font just changed.
9.  Never saw this coming...sky is blue, grass is green, and Kurt Rambis finally got canned.  I don't even support this firing.  You give an ex-power forward like 10 point guards, an over-achieving rebounder, a pot-smoking transplant, and you are expecting what?  Dude.  Just for the record, you always be that guy off the 80's Lakers, always hanging around, wearing your hip goggles, and doing your job on a winning, very talented team.  Sidenote, I never wanted to be that guy, but knee problems and my love of basketball have combined to make me that guy on the court now...the guy who has knee braces on both knees.  I flipped a coin and wore one, making it fashionable.  But, after enough tweaks of the knee, I will have to do both for my favorite sport.
10.  I already did a shout out for this band a couple rants ago, and I never thought a song could have this cheesy of name but end up so powerful, but check this out for new rocking, not too over the top Ipod material... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P65vouRrEC8
11.  Usually, you get great sports movies ideas with less than mainstream actors or actresses.  Of course, there are a lot of exceptions, but let's give an example to illustrate my point.  Glory Road is a powerful, POWERFUL concept of a movie.  And a true story, but they couldn't pull any big names.  It is still a great flick, but not mass accepted.  Well, here is your next possible good one.  It won't be any Hoosiers (that would be like me saying a new comedy could be the next Seinfeld), but it has potential.  Moneyball, people.  Great concept.  It changed baseball forever.  They pulled Brad Pitt (Don't be a hater, people.  Legends of the Fall, Troy, Spy Game, Seven, Ocean movies, and Fight Club, and that foreign one I can't remember the name of... just to name a few).  It could be fantastic.  Of course, it would be a lot better ending if Moneyball would have netted a World Series, but you can't have everything.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1210166/
12.  Deep thoughts.  I am not saying that announcers hit a prime, but I think Joe Buck was a better baseball announcer about 5 years ago when he wasn't told yet that he was the voice of baseball.  I just sense a comfort zone when he announces now.  His knowledge is still off the charts, but I could nap while listening to him.  Lock up, dude.
13.  After the firefighter incident, MLB got two close calls during the home run derby that were funny only because worse things didn't happen.  One guy went fully over, to only have his friends catch him from the 20ft face first fall.  The other guy jumped in the pool below.  The pool guy caught the ball if you are curious. http://www.nowpublic.com/sports/home-run-derby-2011-video-fan-jumps-pool-catches-hr-ball-2813319.html
14.  British Open Predictions.  There will be a LONG sum up on this in a future rant, because I personally LOVE watching this type of golf, even if I have to wake up at 4am and even if there is no Tiger.  I don't like Garcia's game on this type of course as much, but I just feel like him or Westwood will regulate the youngsters in this major...and get the monkey off their back.  I will take Padraig Harrington as my logical darkhouse (what the hell does that saying mean?  He has MULTIPLE majors.  Thank you people for dropping him off the radar), Luke Donald (most consistent golfer in the last year in my opinion) , and then Jason Day (he HAS experience.  The world just doesn't realize in the masses that he has finished 2nd in the first 2 majors)  as my other choices.  I will be awake at 4am both Saturday and Sunday.  Don't doubt me for a second.
15.  I have a Rubik's cube in my apartment.  I forget one freaking move.  One.  I refuse to look it up.  I just keep trying to "feel" it.  You have to understand that I grew up in the summit of that era.  My brother topped out at 1:45, and I topped out at 2:31.  We were trying to make That's Incredible at the time.  Unfortunately, the cut-off for the show was 30 seconds.  Damn.
16.  I just experienced my 11th Tornado Warning.  In case you are curious, the storm is still about 90 miles away.  If I have to step away from the rant suddenly, just know that I am, per the "nine trained weather spotters," supposed to be dodging flying debris.
17.  I watched the entire Home Run Derby.  Yes, I am not proud of that, but it is my slow sports season.  Anyway, the whole American League vs. National League thing didn't really pan out, there was shenanigans, and it was dumb fun.  No one really got into a groove though.  There were a few mini-grooves, but nothing like a Abreu or Hamilton run from years past.  Actually, the most fun of the whole thing was the tiebreaker after the first round, when they had 5 SWINGS, not outs.  Maybe they should put more people in it, and do that system instead of the 10 "outs" rule.  Anyway, I had actually just read a great article on Robinson Cano two weeks before, so it was extra fun for me since I knew his background.  Also, his DAD made the entire program.  Not only can he probably out-bench and outrun most people reading this blog, but he just looked MEAN.  No wonder that kid got so good.  I would be scared to mishit it too.
18.  Well, at least Hines Ward getting busted started a Ravens-Steelers Twitter war.  Feed that fire.  Quickly being known as the best rivalry in football.  Just old school football...love it.
19.  I am amazed at cords.  Yes, I said cords.  People use the cliche "fly on the wall."  I truly want to know what happens in my backpack or pocket when I put my shuffle and earphones in them.  I can leave them in there for exactly 5 minutes, not move, and I pull them out and it takes me 4 minutes to unravel.  Amazing.  See?  These are the things that amaze my mind.  And floods of course. And Pacman Jones.  And...shit, I could go all day.
20.  Vrabel is taking over as LB coach at OSU.  Class act, hell of a career, multiple rings...I would listen to him, wouldn't you?  Good luck, dude.  If anyone can talk recruits to a place where the wheels are coming off, it is you.  Stay away from doing the Costanza opposite and don't bust out a sweater vest.
21.  Ochocinco must feel out of touch.  With both of these lockouts going on, all kinds of people are making the news.  By the way, when the hell are you wrestling that alligator? I'm in on watching that shit, biatch.  http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/22475988/30260487
22.  Someone told me this week (in case you didn't notice), to start hyperlinking stuff of interest to start networking my blog.  So here is another one.  A shout out to my watering hole on the weekends:  http://www.westword.com/locations/pub-on-penn-1526295/
23.  I am truly amazed by baseball etiquette.  I had other sports going on during that season, so I admit I was not the greatest baseball player.  I was an athlete who could also hit and throw.  However, I am watching the ALL-STAR game, where in other sports they play around, make jokes, don't run plays, etc.  And even BEFORE they established home field advantage on this thing, the etiquette remains the same.  You hit a home run.  You trot around the bases.  You strike the side out.  You walk to the dugout.  I love it.
24.  Hey, radical idea.  Maybe if the NBA needs replacement players, my boy Iverson can get a job.  Yay.
25.  Hole in ones in golf are so intriguing because there is almost never any footage on them.  You just HEAR about them.  Not like you can have a camera on every person playing golf in the world at all times, but a 6yr old from IL gets a hole in one.  I was still trying to breathe to the side in swimming at the time.
26.  I found out that Superbad is still a funny movie on regular TV the other night.  Good stuff.  When McLovin gets that gun in his hand, it reminds me of me when, during Navy training in college, they gave me a SAW rifle.  I ask what I should be aiming at.  They replied that if I hit the flat side of the mountain, that they would be impressed.  I eventually hit it.  I don't think they were impressed at that point.  They lied.
27.  If I ever caught a 3000th hit or 500th home run, I don't know what I would do.  The fan from NY is getting all this flack for just giving the ball back.  No matter how strapped I am for cash...ever.  I think my sports love would make me give the ball back.  Alright, that sounded cute, but I just reread it and have changed my opinion four times in the last 3 seconds....I don't know.
28.  Well, tidying things up, the NL just went up to 5-1 on the AL.  Cool.  I just care so my Phillies have home field advantage in the WS.
29.  It doesn't matter what Fox does on its telecast, I love the fact that they go to breaks to Widepread Panic...my boys.
30.  That's it.  Instead of just saying the obvious ending, my buddy gave me an idea to make a little joke about my usual Rant ender.  So, here goes.  If Taint ever met my Dad, he would take her fishing.  I can see her reeling a fish in and my Dad saying "well, Hook-er!"  Now I'm done.