Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Ahhh, the attempt at the mini-rant. Had 60 minutes, didn't feel like working yet, know I don't like writing rants during my weekend, and know my next rant will be one of my "blind airplane rants..." Let's get to it.
1) Let me get this straight, after thinking about the 2 BILLION dollar price tag that Magic's group just paid... They NEED a broadcast station. They NEED a new stadium, as Dodgers Stadium has become a relic. They NEED talent, as the roster is absent of anything outside of Clayton Kershaw and Matt Kemp. AND. The group is rumored to get NO parking revenue in the deal. Are you kidding me? I know the 70's were the 70's and now we are in 2012. BUT. Do you just chuckle at the genius of George Steinbrenner buying the New York Yankees for $10 million. Good work, George, and good luck with THAT, Magic.
2) I think Andrew Bynum should play ESPN's streak for cash. He is consistent. He is on fire. I think he is trying to break some sort of record of doing something stupid, saying something stupid, or being involved in a stupid situation for consecutive rants. I need a stats guy evidently, because Andrew might just become Joe DiMaggio.
3) Speaking of the Lakers, is Mike Brown doing this on PURPOSE? Now he is defending taking Bynum out of the game late. He is one MOODY coach. A moody coach with no rings acting like he does. Just roll with it, and lay low, bro.
4) The Parcells/ Payton story still hovers. This is SUCH a unique situation. I can't wait to see how it ends, and it is definitely intriguing. Parcells has the energy to sit in the upper club boxes every game, but does he have the energy of the everyday grind? I think he does, and I think he knows he has a full cupboard with a situation where there really is no lose in it. Rent a coach...
5) Chalk, chalk, chalk. Women's Final Four. An undefeated team in the mix, four #1's in contention, and all I want to know is this. If Baylor wins, and they go celebrating at a karaoke bar, will Brittney Griner do the low talking part in Boys 2 Men "End of the Road?"
5a) On a serious note, my thoughts go out to Baylor Coach Kim Mulkey, who got diagnosed with Bell's Palsy this week. I will be rooting for your team now, and hang tough.
6) I hear that a couple porn stars are making a film about their intimate experiences with Tiger Woods. It comes out April 3rd. This is great, and maybe I will watch it. I wish they would do me a favor though. Can they pull that waitress from Perkins into the movie, so I can add some color to my regular Tiger Woods and Perkins jokes (I seriously bring Perkins into any Tiger conversation I have-not my MOST irritating trait, but it has to be top 5)?
7) Speaking of Tiger, let's discuss Hank Haney. Hey, Hank, I am ok with you and your claims about Tiger in the book. Write what you want, and congrats on all the press. That being said, I had a HUGE problem with a wire story this week about you. You came out to the media and said "Tiger has to avoid 3 putts at the Masters." Uhhh. Two things, bro. One, talk about shit in your book, talk about the players you are presently coaching, but when you make a technical observation about the guy you dissed in your book about his game, it leads me to believe you are just seeking out press headlines. Two, EVERYONE needs to avoid 3 putts in ANY tournament. You might be a swing coach, but I see you are not exactly splitting the atom over in your world.
8) The 49ers just added Brandon Jacobs this week. Wow. What a HUGE depth chart they have a RB. Frank Gore AND Brandon Jacobs. If you are both in on a play together, I better see you doing paper rock scissors in the huddle to see which badass is blocking for who.
9) Here we go. Steve Nash says he would listen to the Miami Heat to play on their team, and that he will not resign with the Suns if they don't show improvement in the roster. First of all, that sounds fun. Why not? Anyone else want to join the South Beach team trying to form a super-team? Also, why are you telling us this NOW, Steve? Far as I know, the trade deadline is passed, the winning teams have other things on their mind, and we are not in the offseason yet. Hold that thought, bro, until we care.
10) Colbert strikes again. The Tacocopter. Incredible. Check it out. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/28/colbert-report-tacocopter_n_1385858.html
11) Trent Richardson impressed scouts at his pro-day this week. He is absolutely a stud, with multiple types of skills. Isn't it odd how the paradigm has shifted over the years? In 1986, Bo Jackson goes first. He hurts his hip early and is done permanently. In 1995, KiJana Carter goes first easily. He gets hurt, some guy named Terrell Davis wins a couple Super Bowls after being drafted in the sixth round, and look where we are at. No one really wants to touch the short shelf life of a running back early in the draft if they can help it. Trent Richardson looks like a gimme star, is projected to go 4th or 5th, and just know that the team that ends up with him will do it VERY nervously, when offensive defensive lineman with 13 year shelf lives are waiting in the wings.
12) If the Knicks keep rolling, Jeremy Lin comes back after his injury and does well, and he is asked to do a press conference, I think he should purposely say "excited" at least 10 times in the post game interview. Let's start a friendly "novelty" rivalry in the Big Apple. It will be fun.
13) I don't know if this is permanent or not, but this week Channel 3 in Denver started playing an hour of Hogan's Heroes. Don't know the show? Thinking it must be from the 80's like half of all other Fillerbuster's references? Nope. It was way before MY time. But, it is officially the only comedy before 1975 that I can truly laugh at. The freaking PLOT is funny, let alone the episodes themselves. Check this out. World War II. POW's in a German camp that have built tunnels and can escape anytime they want. Instead, they help assist with the war effort. They hook up with chicks, go out on liquor runs, blow up bridges, go dancing, make bombs, etc. Check it out sometime. Maybe then people will understand why I sometimes say "I know NOTHING!"
13a) Official comedy rankings in my book:
-Seinfeld
-TIE Cheers/ Family Guy
-Hogan's Heroes
13b) I was at work today, and I was told to make sure I was aware when our short onsite demonstration time was getting low. I suggested "Tippy Toe!" Don't get it? Here you go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4-FLg214x0
14) The NBA and the early entrants from UNC were a match made in heaven. See ya around, Henson, Marshall, and Barnes. Your lack of fight make you perfect for the league that lacks fire most of the time. You were MADE for the Association. Sorry, about your dream of all coming back together and trying to do half of what the Florida crew did in 2007. Guess THAT plan didn't work too well. Henson, have fun with really tall AND strong interior players. Marshall, you should go watch film of Jamaal Tinsley and Jacque Vaughn-you are the next coming because of your lack of a shot. Barnes, you don't need to go watch Rocky because you already have the body, but you need to watch some MJ video from the 90's...look in his eyes at the fire, look at the skills you possess, and then realize what it will take to make you great one...the table is set for you-you just need to top it off. But you need to take over games with the table that has been set.
15) In the yearly award for "if you take your small school to the Sweet 16, you will get job offers" hook, John Groce was offered the Illinois job. Except for Shaka Smart, we will get to the point where a small school freshman PG will actually THROW a second round game because he likes his coach and wants him to stay.
16) This week was the anniversary of the greatest college game in history. It's not just my opinion...far from it. UK/ Duke. Grant Hill to Christian Laettner. I despise Duke, but I can say I watched something that was above the level of a classic. If you have never seen a replay of the game, you are seriously missing out. If you are not the biggest basketball fan, watch it. Think of it this way. You can continue to hate other games, but you can say you sat through the best ever. (If you don't like those schools, cue up the replay of Villanova-Georgetown. Watch the conspiracy theory of a couple guys on cocaine taking down the mammoth that was Georgetown.).
17) Is Carmelo Anthony, due to all of the injuries, actually playing hurt, gritty, motivated, and even playing a little defense? Hey Rip Van Winkle, how long have I been asleep?
18) I agree with Stan Van Gundy. It is ridiculous to think the Kentucky Wildcats can beat the Wizards. I absolutely agree. 4 future NBA players versus 13 NBA players. Correct, Stan. I hate when anyone besides Charles Barkley makes absurd comments like these.
18a) (shhhh. has Stan even SEEN the Wizards play?? They are HORRIBLE. Can we set up this game if they win? Nevermind...)
18b) UK over Louisville. Ohio State over KU. Ohio State over UK. Hey, think about this. If I am wrong in the second game, we will have a final game palindrome. Get it? UKKU. He He He.
19) There are a lot of crazy people in the world. There are a lot of people doing dumber things that I hear about or read about. I know they are all government related, but I am confused why more UPS and Post Office trucks are not stolen. I see them left solo, sometimes running, all the TIME. I am a good guy, and I have even thought about it. If you picked a busy enough city or area of town, it would be tough to catch you too, because there are LOTS of those trucks out there driving around. It would be like the stolen vehicle version of The Thomas Crown Affair (the parts with the hats in the museum, people). Sounds like someone should do it.
20) ALL NFL turnovers will be reviewed, just in case you were looking for more time to ignore your families or have more time to grab a drink, perfect that dip, do laundry, go to the head, etc. You get two bad teams together, and you have a four hour game without overtime.
21) Article I didn't need to open to laugh hook. "Nike sues Reebok over Tebow Jets Jerseys." Wow, it feels good to have to have heard about that story in national, not local news. Yay. Thank you for leaving Tebow.
22) I hear that the female CEO of IBM MIGHT become the next member of Augusta. Call me when it happens. I will be waiting by the phone. They are SO sexist at that place. Shame.
23) Tom Coughlin VOLUNTARILY called out the Jets with "scoreboard." I guess that is the second Super Bowl ring does to you-being able to laugh next year when the annual "call for Coughlin's job" ritual occurs. Side note. I work with someone who actually didn't know what saying "scoreboard" means. True story.
24) A day after getting headlines for beating Federer in a non-Grand Slam event, Andy Roddick got beat. Welcome back to your underachieving world, Andy. Good to have you back as is.
25) #1 recruit Shabazz Muhammad shined in the HS All-Star game. Good job, Shabazz. Now, if you would stop scaring away the heavyweight schools by breaking the rules, we can recognize how scary of a player you are.
26) 1988 Kansas Champion hero Danny Manning agreed to take the head coaching job at Tulsa. If there was ONE young coach I was rooting for, it would be him. Dude put 4 other guys on his BACK for 6 games as an 8 seed, and won the whole thing. Bad. Ass. Class. Act.
27) I got some feedback on my "tuna must be getting smarter and faster" hook. Check it out. NOW I get why three tiny cans are never on sale and always increasing in price. Clarity. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJfxdVI1Jio&feature=youtube_gdata_player
28) That is it, people. Have a great weekend, and know a blind (no internet access and unedited) airplane rant will be written on my Sunday morning flight to DC. Til then. Peace.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
And grab some toilet paper. I ain't gonna use no leaves...
Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
1. Final Four:
Just generalities, as I was too engrossed in the games to make my usual random notes...
-UL vs Florida: Teacher beats student. Mentor beats protege. Again. Not that either team was loaded, but Billy Donovan has to be kicking himself this week (aside from the fact he had a big lead with Louisville in foul trouble). UL is a pretty gritty, but relatively weak Louisville squad in comparison to previous teams. If he had a chance, this was the one, besides the loaded squads he had in 2006 and 2007. I will tell you what, people. I am still confused how big time recruits aren't coming to Louisville to join Pitino AND a traditional power to play. How is he only getting top 25 recruiting classes? He will lose to UK, but DAMN, that guy can coach. I WOULD however be very scared about how loose he is. He either knows how good a team he about to face, or has a plan.
-UK vs. Baylor: Hello, three NBA lottery picks. Meet us. We are minimally 5 lottery picks. How's it going? As predicted here a while back in this Rant, the kids at Baylor don't have the guards nor the eye of the tiger to win the big games. Calipari, you will make the final game, but I think Jared Sullinger will have a few memories for you. AD. You are SPECIAL to watch.
-Speaking of Jared, OSU showed the absence of Fab Melo hurt the Cuse. The Buckeyes couldn't really put them away, but I REALLY like this team. Between Buford, Sullinger, and Craft, you have three guys who can kill you any night. Throw in HS scoring machine Thomas, and a couple role players, and I think this squad wins it. I won't put down the zone, but does anyone else think that Boeheim should tighten his rotation as the season goes on? Depth is really cool, but you play a freaking zone. Tighten it up to 7 players when you guys don't have some dude named Carmelo, not Fab Melo.
-KU-UNC: Marshall's absense made them who they are. They lack fire, they have crazy talent, but sometimes absolutely look lost. I know Harrison Barnes plays music in his free time, but can you look like for ONE instant like you box or do MMA sparingly. Take OVER the game. White looked good in the stat column in Marshall's absence, but you need great guard play in the Elite 8, not good guard play. Ask Baylor about that. OR. As my boss says, their loss in the Elite 8 is TOTALLY the fault of Larry Drew, III. Google THAT ("larry drew III transferring from UNC").
PREDICTIONS:
My bracket might be a freaking wreck aside from my final game predictions, so I am going to stick with that prediction. Ohio State beats UK in the final in one of the best final matchups in history.
...AND they win me my office pool and knockout pool coincidentally also.
2. Ex-Kansas State coach took the job at South Carolina this week. Ok. I GET challenges, and if that is the reason, then all the power to you, Frank. That being said, this in an odd move to me. A lateral move if you will. He is going from a team in a Big Six conference that had a little winning while he was there but really doesn't have a tradition of winning, to a school in a Big Six conference that has had some winning here and there but...really doesn't have a winning tradition. I have only driven through South Carolina, but those present players on that team were seen going to church DURING his press conference, hoping that would help them with the fear of God that accompanies any Frank Martin coached team. Dude is plain scary. Then there is the other curiosity for me. How come southern football programs get a bunch of southern accent good ole boys as coaches, and southern basketball schools get guys with abrasive attitudes and northeast accents. Hmmm. Confused.
3. Now I read that Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine might have a rift with his GM. Dude. Take it EASY. We are playing spring games. A week after you call out Girardi, you get into it with the GM. Wait until the season starts for Pete's sake. Plenty of time to ruffle some feathers, and I think that ruffling will come to you and that you won't have to seek it out.
4. I hear that Lamar Odom is "hurt" by recent booing. Thanks for letting us know, Lamar. Thanks a lot. I can sleep better knowing there are sensitive basketball players. Geez.
5. Tiger wins, with the Masters upcoming. I watched most of the last two rounds at commercial breaks in the basketball games. What is amazing is that Tiger held his own with McDowell making crazy long putts, and putting pressure on him. This is not just a dude making crazy putts. This is one of the few guys who took him down one on one, and that list is still relatively small. Even though I think he could win, I think the bookies are going a little premature by making him the favorite. You guys know where the money will be placed, but there ARE a couple others out there who DID win in 30 starts.
6. I just heard John Calipari say on ESPN that it doesn't matter about the close proximity of the two schools playing. Uhhh. Einstein. Let me break this tidbit of news to you. THAT rivalry existed before you were even born. It IS about that also. Stop being above all this shit. Win one, and if you don't this year I will have material for YEARS, and then I will listen a little to you.
7. US soccer update, because I know you were all DYING for me to comment on this topic. In case you were wondering how the youth of soccer in the US was doing, and whether the onslaught of US soccer might occur anytime now, stop. Their Under-23 team needed a win against EL SALVADOR to go to the Olympics. They let them tie it up in extra time. REALLY? That case is now closed for the moment.
8. The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Bama's Nick Saban is a pretty damn good football coach. The school surprised us all this week. The school gave him an extension this week.
9. This intrigues me. Read ANY college basketball preseason magazine, and you would have read how either or both UCONN's Jeremy Lamb or UK's Doron Lamb were going to become household names this year. Neither really blossomed, if you will. Jeremy was supposed to explode because Kemba Walker went to the NBA. Doron's case was a little different. These prognosticators didn't think the UK freshman group was THAT good. Those youngsters make it a surprise when we even HEAR his name during a game. One is still in it, and maybe Doron will hit a game winner or something in the next week, but up to this point, I would say they both went "out like a lamb." He he he.
10. The Sean Payton/ Bill Parcells drama continues. Glad I called last time something like this might tease us in my last rant. Will it happen? Probably not. But I WAS right. It is kind of a fun concept. Sean says he is just reaching out because Bill is his mentor. Sure, bro. You have like 4 days before you have to disappear off the radar from your team. I am sure you are just asking for fatherly advice.
11. Speaking of tuna, what is up with catching tuna fish? Is it that hard? Are they that scarce? All I know is that I eat it for my post workout protein boost. That shit is EXPENSIVE. And, it keeps going up. Are they getting faster or smarter? Is there more labor involved in catching them? Hurting my wallet, and slightly confused.
12. Odd take on the Final Four. What I find interesting is this. We ALL root for Cinderellas while they are playing a game, and then are a little sad when they exit stage left. That being said, we cheer up a few moments later, thinking about how we got the two better teams in the next matchup. All I know is this. Cinderellas are cool and all, but those Elite 8 matchups were AWESOME because we were left with all solid, not trendy teams.
13. The NFL has released a stat saying that concussions went down last year about 40% by moving the kickoff yard line 5 yards. Ok. Thanks. Tell me THIS. I am all about control groups, and the size of them. How large of control group did you all have? There can't be THAT many happening every single play. Just saying.
14. Hello, Mike Brown. How you doing, bro? You need to check something out. You paying attention, Mike? Look at your hands. Any hardware on those bad boys that you didn't buy? I think not. You can sit Kobe Bryant after you have a ring. Dude has 5 rings. He might be the player, you might be the coach, but unless you want to lose your team this year, do not bench Kobe at the end of the game in crunch time unless he is hurt or fouled out. Kobe took the high road, but the way to get your ring is not through Metta World Peace.
15. Seinfeld has an entire episode about cat-fights. They are cool for the most part-absolutely occur. That being said, the Baylor-UT fight didn't have the cat-fight luster I would have been hoping for. Missing something. Well, at least it ended, and you know how? The visual of the other chicks seeing Brittney Griner running off the bench, a little over a year from her last knockout of a chick...on the court.
16. I have heard 44 times. I have heard 43 times. Just know it is a LOT. Evidently, Tebow is excited to be a Jet. You would expect me to totally take this opportunity to blast him right now. Oddly, I don't feel the usual hate I feel, and will go another route. I still hate the movement, just think I am so happy he is out of Denver. Anyway, two things on this. One, you can't deny his genuineness. Sure, sometimes in Denver, he was written or told what to say. But in this one, he just went up and TALKED. It was pure, even with 43 different forms of the word "exciting. The dude is real. Two, I find it funny that Rex Ryan made an effort to tell the media that he did not alert Sanchez that they were going to pick Tebow up. I am not splitting the atom here, but something tells me this is going to get a whole lot more exciting before it figures itself out.
17) The Knicks are cracking me up. Injuries galore, true concerns about Stoudemire's health, and what do we have? Carmelo back at peace, doing what he likes to do-not fit in, and take the scoring load on his shoulders and his alone. I still can't hate you, as you won an NCAA championship, but at some point you have to realize that you can't do this alone...even if you are in the Eastern Conference.
18) Andy Roddick beat Roger Federer this week. Why am I reporting this? Because it is funny. You will never read that statement if any of the following events are going on: Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, or the US Open. Well, one time you won one, but talk about a bust...
19) Alec Baldwin intrigues me. When Team America was made, they were making fun of his acting I believe. Now, through other avenues, he is a big time star. Chicken or the egg. Could that movie have somehow propelled either the masses or himself to get motivated about liking him? Or did he just get better? Confused.
20) Article I didn't need to open. "Pats restructure Ochocinco's contract." No word on whether he just had an awakening that he kind of sucks these days and that the machine he is on is much larger than him and has the hardware which we are pretty sure, but not positive, that he desires.
21) I found out that a remake of Red Dawn is coming out later this year. I was excited, until I read the cast and couldn't identify ONE person involved. It will probably suck. I will still go and watch it, so I can yell "Wolverines" like a 12 year old at appropriate times. Here is a dumb conspiracy theory from the 80's. Whereas Red Dawn might have escalated the Cold War, luckily Rocky IV came out shortly after and stopped it after Rocky's post fight speech.
While on the topic, the 1984 cast:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087985/fullcredits
2012:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234719/
22) Another year of having my Phillies predicted to possibly win the whole thing, and another year of feeling I need Chase Utley injury live tracking updates on my phone. Forget Ryan Howard-we can win without him. We NEED Chase Utley. Fact.
23) Aside from the fact the this new movie is made by a big time director, is anyone else interested in Prometheus except for possibly the awesome special effects and possible hot chick nudity? I think not.
24) The Giants/ Cowboys are the NFL season opener next year evidently. Confused of why the Packers weren't chosen (I thought it was usually the last two Super Bowl winners), I figure it just must mean they are playing at Dallas in their fancy stadium. Only explanation.
25) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and we saw this coming years ago...actually while he was still playing. Evidently, Dennis Rodman is having some problems. Go figure. That is about as much of a surprise as Floyd Mayweather saying something stupid in the next two weeks.
26) Apparently, Clips Del Negro has the backing of the owner. What is the problem here? I know we are in a shortened season, but they didn't make the playoffs last year. They are in as of right now. Let the chemistry grow. Basketball IS star players, but winning it all has to have chemistry. It is what the sport is all about. Making some shots, owning space on the floor before your opponent, getting rebounds, and knowing where your teammates are going to be for the easy score. It takes time. If they bow out in the first round, we can revisit if Vinny is the problem. That will give Phil Jackson TWO places to contemplate coming back to.
27) Just saying. Can we just have a Family Guy channel? If we can't, can we have an adult cartoon station that ONLY plays Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park? Let's do this. If I had THAT and ESPN News, I would never watch another new show...ever (I could flip to Seinfeld on TBS-doesn't quite fit on my hypothetical network). I saw the Amish Guy episode of Family Guy the other night-almost rolled off the couch...as usual.
28) Boston Red Sox pitcher Bobby Jenks "apologized" for getting a DUI and leaving the scene of an accident. Thanks, Bobby. That makes it all better. Glad you are focused in spring play in a year your team missed the playoffs. Class-eeeee.
29) Sure the Pens lost to the Islanders tonight, but notice the Pens won 11 straight as we get closer to the playoffs. Be VERY scared of them. What is odd is this. The Pens loss tonight drops them to the 4th spot. Highly ranked in the playoff standings or not, NO ONE wants to play the Flyers in the first round. EVER. That is just silly and undeserved. I think the Flyers are ALWAYS the 5th seed just to be coy.
30) If you would have asked me 100 times, about 99 times I would have said the Capitals would make the playoffs, along with almost anyone on TV. Whoops. They are giving this shit away. Lots of talent wasted in the nation's capital.
30a) Speaking of the nation's capital, I promised my fraternity brother that I would mention that the Redskins have signed 3 offensive lineman to protect RGIII. That is important for Skins fans, and I guess he is excited. Good luck waiting another 2-3 years for you guys to "rebuild."
31) Well, I think that is it for now. I am trying again to do shorter rants more often. Look for one Friday morning when you wake up. Shame I would have to look up where Brady Quinn is these days, but in his words..."Now, I'm done." Hooks, lines, and sinkers. Peace. Til next time.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
1. Final Four:
Just generalities, as I was too engrossed in the games to make my usual random notes...
-UL vs Florida: Teacher beats student. Mentor beats protege. Again. Not that either team was loaded, but Billy Donovan has to be kicking himself this week (aside from the fact he had a big lead with Louisville in foul trouble). UL is a pretty gritty, but relatively weak Louisville squad in comparison to previous teams. If he had a chance, this was the one, besides the loaded squads he had in 2006 and 2007. I will tell you what, people. I am still confused how big time recruits aren't coming to Louisville to join Pitino AND a traditional power to play. How is he only getting top 25 recruiting classes? He will lose to UK, but DAMN, that guy can coach. I WOULD however be very scared about how loose he is. He either knows how good a team he about to face, or has a plan.
-UK vs. Baylor: Hello, three NBA lottery picks. Meet us. We are minimally 5 lottery picks. How's it going? As predicted here a while back in this Rant, the kids at Baylor don't have the guards nor the eye of the tiger to win the big games. Calipari, you will make the final game, but I think Jared Sullinger will have a few memories for you. AD. You are SPECIAL to watch.
-Speaking of Jared, OSU showed the absence of Fab Melo hurt the Cuse. The Buckeyes couldn't really put them away, but I REALLY like this team. Between Buford, Sullinger, and Craft, you have three guys who can kill you any night. Throw in HS scoring machine Thomas, and a couple role players, and I think this squad wins it. I won't put down the zone, but does anyone else think that Boeheim should tighten his rotation as the season goes on? Depth is really cool, but you play a freaking zone. Tighten it up to 7 players when you guys don't have some dude named Carmelo, not Fab Melo.
-KU-UNC: Marshall's absense made them who they are. They lack fire, they have crazy talent, but sometimes absolutely look lost. I know Harrison Barnes plays music in his free time, but can you look like for ONE instant like you box or do MMA sparingly. Take OVER the game. White looked good in the stat column in Marshall's absence, but you need great guard play in the Elite 8, not good guard play. Ask Baylor about that. OR. As my boss says, their loss in the Elite 8 is TOTALLY the fault of Larry Drew, III. Google THAT ("larry drew III transferring from UNC").
PREDICTIONS:
My bracket might be a freaking wreck aside from my final game predictions, so I am going to stick with that prediction. Ohio State beats UK in the final in one of the best final matchups in history.
...AND they win me my office pool and knockout pool coincidentally also.
2. Ex-Kansas State coach took the job at South Carolina this week. Ok. I GET challenges, and if that is the reason, then all the power to you, Frank. That being said, this in an odd move to me. A lateral move if you will. He is going from a team in a Big Six conference that had a little winning while he was there but really doesn't have a tradition of winning, to a school in a Big Six conference that has had some winning here and there but...really doesn't have a winning tradition. I have only driven through South Carolina, but those present players on that team were seen going to church DURING his press conference, hoping that would help them with the fear of God that accompanies any Frank Martin coached team. Dude is plain scary. Then there is the other curiosity for me. How come southern football programs get a bunch of southern accent good ole boys as coaches, and southern basketball schools get guys with abrasive attitudes and northeast accents. Hmmm. Confused.
3. Now I read that Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine might have a rift with his GM. Dude. Take it EASY. We are playing spring games. A week after you call out Girardi, you get into it with the GM. Wait until the season starts for Pete's sake. Plenty of time to ruffle some feathers, and I think that ruffling will come to you and that you won't have to seek it out.
4. I hear that Lamar Odom is "hurt" by recent booing. Thanks for letting us know, Lamar. Thanks a lot. I can sleep better knowing there are sensitive basketball players. Geez.
5. Tiger wins, with the Masters upcoming. I watched most of the last two rounds at commercial breaks in the basketball games. What is amazing is that Tiger held his own with McDowell making crazy long putts, and putting pressure on him. This is not just a dude making crazy putts. This is one of the few guys who took him down one on one, and that list is still relatively small. Even though I think he could win, I think the bookies are going a little premature by making him the favorite. You guys know where the money will be placed, but there ARE a couple others out there who DID win in 30 starts.
6. I just heard John Calipari say on ESPN that it doesn't matter about the close proximity of the two schools playing. Uhhh. Einstein. Let me break this tidbit of news to you. THAT rivalry existed before you were even born. It IS about that also. Stop being above all this shit. Win one, and if you don't this year I will have material for YEARS, and then I will listen a little to you.
7. US soccer update, because I know you were all DYING for me to comment on this topic. In case you were wondering how the youth of soccer in the US was doing, and whether the onslaught of US soccer might occur anytime now, stop. Their Under-23 team needed a win against EL SALVADOR to go to the Olympics. They let them tie it up in extra time. REALLY? That case is now closed for the moment.
8. The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Bama's Nick Saban is a pretty damn good football coach. The school surprised us all this week. The school gave him an extension this week.
9. This intrigues me. Read ANY college basketball preseason magazine, and you would have read how either or both UCONN's Jeremy Lamb or UK's Doron Lamb were going to become household names this year. Neither really blossomed, if you will. Jeremy was supposed to explode because Kemba Walker went to the NBA. Doron's case was a little different. These prognosticators didn't think the UK freshman group was THAT good. Those youngsters make it a surprise when we even HEAR his name during a game. One is still in it, and maybe Doron will hit a game winner or something in the next week, but up to this point, I would say they both went "out like a lamb." He he he.
10. The Sean Payton/ Bill Parcells drama continues. Glad I called last time something like this might tease us in my last rant. Will it happen? Probably not. But I WAS right. It is kind of a fun concept. Sean says he is just reaching out because Bill is his mentor. Sure, bro. You have like 4 days before you have to disappear off the radar from your team. I am sure you are just asking for fatherly advice.
11. Speaking of tuna, what is up with catching tuna fish? Is it that hard? Are they that scarce? All I know is that I eat it for my post workout protein boost. That shit is EXPENSIVE. And, it keeps going up. Are they getting faster or smarter? Is there more labor involved in catching them? Hurting my wallet, and slightly confused.
12. Odd take on the Final Four. What I find interesting is this. We ALL root for Cinderellas while they are playing a game, and then are a little sad when they exit stage left. That being said, we cheer up a few moments later, thinking about how we got the two better teams in the next matchup. All I know is this. Cinderellas are cool and all, but those Elite 8 matchups were AWESOME because we were left with all solid, not trendy teams.
13. The NFL has released a stat saying that concussions went down last year about 40% by moving the kickoff yard line 5 yards. Ok. Thanks. Tell me THIS. I am all about control groups, and the size of them. How large of control group did you all have? There can't be THAT many happening every single play. Just saying.
14. Hello, Mike Brown. How you doing, bro? You need to check something out. You paying attention, Mike? Look at your hands. Any hardware on those bad boys that you didn't buy? I think not. You can sit Kobe Bryant after you have a ring. Dude has 5 rings. He might be the player, you might be the coach, but unless you want to lose your team this year, do not bench Kobe at the end of the game in crunch time unless he is hurt or fouled out. Kobe took the high road, but the way to get your ring is not through Metta World Peace.
15. Seinfeld has an entire episode about cat-fights. They are cool for the most part-absolutely occur. That being said, the Baylor-UT fight didn't have the cat-fight luster I would have been hoping for. Missing something. Well, at least it ended, and you know how? The visual of the other chicks seeing Brittney Griner running off the bench, a little over a year from her last knockout of a chick...on the court.
16. I have heard 44 times. I have heard 43 times. Just know it is a LOT. Evidently, Tebow is excited to be a Jet. You would expect me to totally take this opportunity to blast him right now. Oddly, I don't feel the usual hate I feel, and will go another route. I still hate the movement, just think I am so happy he is out of Denver. Anyway, two things on this. One, you can't deny his genuineness. Sure, sometimes in Denver, he was written or told what to say. But in this one, he just went up and TALKED. It was pure, even with 43 different forms of the word "exciting. The dude is real. Two, I find it funny that Rex Ryan made an effort to tell the media that he did not alert Sanchez that they were going to pick Tebow up. I am not splitting the atom here, but something tells me this is going to get a whole lot more exciting before it figures itself out.
17) The Knicks are cracking me up. Injuries galore, true concerns about Stoudemire's health, and what do we have? Carmelo back at peace, doing what he likes to do-not fit in, and take the scoring load on his shoulders and his alone. I still can't hate you, as you won an NCAA championship, but at some point you have to realize that you can't do this alone...even if you are in the Eastern Conference.
18) Andy Roddick beat Roger Federer this week. Why am I reporting this? Because it is funny. You will never read that statement if any of the following events are going on: Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, or the US Open. Well, one time you won one, but talk about a bust...
19) Alec Baldwin intrigues me. When Team America was made, they were making fun of his acting I believe. Now, through other avenues, he is a big time star. Chicken or the egg. Could that movie have somehow propelled either the masses or himself to get motivated about liking him? Or did he just get better? Confused.
20) Article I didn't need to open. "Pats restructure Ochocinco's contract." No word on whether he just had an awakening that he kind of sucks these days and that the machine he is on is much larger than him and has the hardware which we are pretty sure, but not positive, that he desires.
21) I found out that a remake of Red Dawn is coming out later this year. I was excited, until I read the cast and couldn't identify ONE person involved. It will probably suck. I will still go and watch it, so I can yell "Wolverines" like a 12 year old at appropriate times. Here is a dumb conspiracy theory from the 80's. Whereas Red Dawn might have escalated the Cold War, luckily Rocky IV came out shortly after and stopped it after Rocky's post fight speech.
While on the topic, the 1984 cast:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087985/fullcredits
2012:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234719/
22) Another year of having my Phillies predicted to possibly win the whole thing, and another year of feeling I need Chase Utley injury live tracking updates on my phone. Forget Ryan Howard-we can win without him. We NEED Chase Utley. Fact.
23) Aside from the fact the this new movie is made by a big time director, is anyone else interested in Prometheus except for possibly the awesome special effects and possible hot chick nudity? I think not.
24) The Giants/ Cowboys are the NFL season opener next year evidently. Confused of why the Packers weren't chosen (I thought it was usually the last two Super Bowl winners), I figure it just must mean they are playing at Dallas in their fancy stadium. Only explanation.
25) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and we saw this coming years ago...actually while he was still playing. Evidently, Dennis Rodman is having some problems. Go figure. That is about as much of a surprise as Floyd Mayweather saying something stupid in the next two weeks.
26) Apparently, Clips Del Negro has the backing of the owner. What is the problem here? I know we are in a shortened season, but they didn't make the playoffs last year. They are in as of right now. Let the chemistry grow. Basketball IS star players, but winning it all has to have chemistry. It is what the sport is all about. Making some shots, owning space on the floor before your opponent, getting rebounds, and knowing where your teammates are going to be for the easy score. It takes time. If they bow out in the first round, we can revisit if Vinny is the problem. That will give Phil Jackson TWO places to contemplate coming back to.
27) Just saying. Can we just have a Family Guy channel? If we can't, can we have an adult cartoon station that ONLY plays Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park? Let's do this. If I had THAT and ESPN News, I would never watch another new show...ever (I could flip to Seinfeld on TBS-doesn't quite fit on my hypothetical network). I saw the Amish Guy episode of Family Guy the other night-almost rolled off the couch...as usual.
28) Boston Red Sox pitcher Bobby Jenks "apologized" for getting a DUI and leaving the scene of an accident. Thanks, Bobby. That makes it all better. Glad you are focused in spring play in a year your team missed the playoffs. Class-eeeee.
29) Sure the Pens lost to the Islanders tonight, but notice the Pens won 11 straight as we get closer to the playoffs. Be VERY scared of them. What is odd is this. The Pens loss tonight drops them to the 4th spot. Highly ranked in the playoff standings or not, NO ONE wants to play the Flyers in the first round. EVER. That is just silly and undeserved. I think the Flyers are ALWAYS the 5th seed just to be coy.
30) If you would have asked me 100 times, about 99 times I would have said the Capitals would make the playoffs, along with almost anyone on TV. Whoops. They are giving this shit away. Lots of talent wasted in the nation's capital.
30a) Speaking of the nation's capital, I promised my fraternity brother that I would mention that the Redskins have signed 3 offensive lineman to protect RGIII. That is important for Skins fans, and I guess he is excited. Good luck waiting another 2-3 years for you guys to "rebuild."
31) Well, I think that is it for now. I am trying again to do shorter rants more often. Look for one Friday morning when you wake up. Shame I would have to look up where Brady Quinn is these days, but in his words..."Now, I'm done." Hooks, lines, and sinkers. Peace. Til next time.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Why can't we hover like regular helicopter people?
Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Now that my heart has started beating again after the Louisville/ Florida game...just writing at commercials of the Ohio State/ Syracuse game as I am overloaded with hooks.
1) Sean Payton is out for the year. Wow. What a penalty, with a loaded team in the prime of their career. Was it too much? Ten years ago, I would have said yes. I also understand that old school football has bounties involved here and there. But. This is the Roger Goodell regime. It is what it is. Love him or hate him, he has his way, and that way has dramatically cleaned up the game on and off the field. He shocks people with certain penalties handed down, but then players and coaches are having second thoughts because of those penalties before doing a similar type of wrong. As far as the Saints go, here is my conspiracy plan. Bring in a cameo. Bring in a big gun. Bring in Gruden for year. Bring in Cowher for a year. Bring in Bill Parcells. Bring in someone who would be a ground-breaking as a rental. Will it happen? Probably not. But it sounds fun, doesn't it? Side note. I hear the Senate is going to join the bounty investigation. Ugghhhh.
2) Tiger hurts his achilles. Tiger gets better. Tiger tweaks his back. Tiger gets better. Tiger is presently leading at Bay Hill going into the final day. Here is the thing. Am I happy he is looking solid? You betcha. I am getting goosebumps thinking about him at Augusta in a couple weeks. That being said, here is the thing. If he blows the 1 stroke lead tomorrow, mentally he will be back to square one. He won't believe in himself, let alone have other players fear him anytime soon. Win this shit, buddy, and go into Augusta with that old stare from back in the day.
3) Tim Tebow goes to the Jets. I am surprised Mark Sanchez didn't get arrested for doing something stupid the night he heard this delightful news. I personally think it is a horrible fit, although my elation from him leaving this town outweighs any thoughts about that future situation. Mark Sanchez will throw three straight bad passes in week 2, and then have the luxury of listening the crowd start chanting Tebow, Tebow. That will be a treat. Good luck with that, Mark. Plus, anytime an organization wants to take you out for 10-15 plays to run a crazy option offense, you know you are not liked that much. You think Tom Brady would ever be off the field for 10-15 plays when healthy? Change of pace my ass. So let me ask this. Are they going to have two different practices, one without the Wildcat and one with? It won't work. Boy, would I LOVE to be a fly on the wall for Rex Ryan's first few chats with saintly Tebow. http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebow-absolutely-horrified-after-first-phone-c,27717/ Think I am glad he is out of Denver? Check out this crap: http://www.nfl.com/news/story/09000d5d827d0671/article/pat-robertson-broncos-treated-tebow-shabbily
4) Not only have the Thunder built a great team in the right way, but then they quietly picked up veteran Derek Fisher this week. GREAT pickup, and EXACTLY what they needed. You get championship experience, a veteran voice in the locker room, and a solid back up to stud Russell Westbrook. I still like the Bulls, but my uncertainty grows with this pickup.
5) Not sure what goes on at VCU, but I still have NO idea how that school continues to keep Shaka Smart. He turned down Illinois this week. Not that is a dream job or anything, but this is the second year in which he is turning down people left and right. Dare I say that Shaka must be the most content, happy, and nicest person I know.
6) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and your best pitcher starts opening day in baseball. Thanks, Nationals, for enlightening us that Stephen Strasburg is your opening day starter. Now I can get some sleep finally.
7) I am not one to do many hooks on women's basketball, but the story of Elena Della Donne is moving. Truly. She was the #1 recruit a couple years ago, and signed on with UConn. She drove away in the middle of the night after being there briefly. She ended up going to small school Delaware to be closer to her older sister, who has cerebral palsy. They lost to Kansas this year, but I am a better person for just hearing her story. Changing gears, and making sure I only have one hook on women's basketball, Brittney Griner? Dibs to the dunks, and your voice is scary low. Scary low.
8) Hey, Quizno's. I love some of your specials. I remember some prime rib one that was ridiculously good for a fast food place. But. This lobster thing you got going? I can't do it. I have to draw the line somewhere. And that is what I choose to do until I see helicopter landing pads on your roofs with rental paperwork proving you are using Airwolf to transport the lobster meat.
9) After a solid season, CSU's basketball coach decided to take the opening at Nebraska. I am a transplant here in Denver, therefore I don't even have any natural hatred towards the state of Nebraska aside from my ex-fiancee being from there. ANYWAY, dude. You DO realize that except for the level of competition you will be playing against, that this really isn't an upgrade, right? That is such a football school, that I wouldn't be surprised if their practice courts have rims with chains and are played on blacktop.
10) If it came out in the news that Andrew Bynum had some sort of mental disorder, I would not be surprised at all. Dude is huge, has mad skills, but seems to be playing with about 48 cards up there in the noggin. In the news again this week for complaining about an ejection.
11) Either ESPN is covering more soccer, or I truly believe that Lionel Messi reads my blog and has just become PISSED at me. Ever since I wrote that I would take Pele or Maradona first in a hypothetical soccer draft, he is all over the place. This week, he became the all time goal scorer in Barcelona history, and I have to admit, the goal he did it with was pretty freaking sweet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brV-_y9WpnI
12) I thought Samsung was a behind the times provider from the eighties. Then, I see that they have phones you can write on, and TV's that talk to and listen to you. When the hell did THEY just start kicking everyone's ass?
13) The Miami Heat sign Ronny Turiaf this week. This does help their front court depth for the playoffs, and adds another team on the future sports trivia question ten years from now of "You win $10,000 if you can name every team Ronny Turiaf has played for in order."
14) The Grizzlies quietly signed Gilbert Arenas this week. He actually can't join the team for another week because he has to follow the 7-day waiting period and background check rules (the joke is there. I PROMISE).
15) I love hockey. I love hockey fights. But the Devils/ Rangers having three guys from each team drop their gloves at the very beginning of the game made fun of the sport, and the whole concept of why fights actually exist in hockey. Dumb.
16) I am NOT saying this just because I am a Steelers fan, as I try not to be homer or just report my teams on this Rant. I am saying this as a true football fan. Hines Ward's retirement speech was genuine and moving. I am proud to be a fan of a franchise where a receiver retires because he doesn't want to suit up in anything else but black and gold (insert Big Ben joke here, readers). http://old.post-gazette.com/pg/12081/1218271-150.stm
17) I watched UNC's first game without Marshall, with him being benched because of his hurt wrist. It was ugly, lost basketball offense. I think they escape the weekend, and that he gets another week of healing, but I think that either the Cuse OR Ohio State will eat them up without him. Both have too good of guard play. His loss will be felt.
18) That mention of Airwolf got me thinking. Stringfellow Hawk is one of the coolest names for a TV character ever. Yeah. (starting to hum Airwolf theme music) Here. Hum along with me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr_CJL1YQRc
19) NCAA random thoughts:
-I don't understand why Kentucky's Michael Kidd-Gilchrist had to announce he is entering the NBA draft DURING their tourney run. Why tell us now? Concentrate on your present, not your future. The only theory I could fathom was that he was telling his teammates through the media that they better do some shit right NOW, because he ain't coming back.
-I am not saying that not having kids and not being married is robbing me of life's other joys, but watching EVERY single basketball game during March Madness has been absolutely delightful in every way. Different things make different people happy. I am happy.
-The free throw situation at the end of the Michigan St./ Louisville game was just plain odd. A player who wasn't fouled snuck to the line and missed the free throw. When the refs figured it out, they let the actual player shoot both free throws, which of course he made. Luckily, it had no bearing on the final score deficit, but how does THAT happen, and how is that legitimate rules?
-I LOVE how growing up, the zone was what you played when you were lazy, and Boeheim LIVES by it, and wins a LOT.
-Louisville's comeback against Florida was remarkable enough, but the fact that they ran out of timeouts, Silva fouled out early, Kuric and others had four fouls, were in the bonus early, etc. made it THAT much more remarkable. Everything was against them. If they got into a situation where they needed to foul to keep it close late, they would have run out of players and had to bring in Gene Hackman. Teacher:7. Student: 0 (although Donovan DOES have one more championship)
-Pitino has never lost when he gets to the Sweet Sixteen. That is amazing stuff.
20) The Knicks look good under Goodson. Still no huge rebirth of Linsanity, but maybe that says something about his system. Uhhh. DEFENSE, Knicks. There you go.
21) Someone needs to flowchart for me Venus Williams's career path. Evidently, she is back playing again. I actually follow tennis and I didn't really even know she was out. I thought she was just not winning.
22) Article I didn't have to open to chuckle. "Sandusky's lawyer asks judge to dismiss charges." What? Someone tell that guy to go visit the Bubble Boy. Moors!
23) Chipper Jones is retiring from baseball after this year, and after, evidently, his upcoming surgery. All jokes aside, there is a great article about his career and his class in a recent article of ESPN Mag. Check it out.
24) Very quietly, the Colts picked up Drew Stanton from the Jets, and made their young QB depth chart a lot better. Wow, Jets. You pick up Tebow and get rid of Stanton. Go with Sandusky's lawyer when he goes to the Sangers.
25) Iverson sighting! Iverson Sighting! (you know I LOVE that guy, so any news is good news for me when it involves him) Can we do the "practice speech?" Yes? Ok. Incredible, still. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDBR2L5kzI
26) My parents gave me Life's Little Instruction Books when I was growing up. I still have all of them. One of my neighbors locked herself out of her apartment, she used my phone, and I lent one to her so she could kill time until the key guy arrived. I told her the book was small enough, that she could just slide it under my door when the guy came. She never gave it back. Bitch.
27) Andrew Luck had his pro day. It went well. RGIII had his pro day. It went well. I am still going to be forever confused if RGIII goes first. I personally still don't get why he is going second.
28) I like that Volkswagen commercial where "Riding Dirty" is playing in the background and the mom is cruising in her daughter's boyfriend's crazy green, tricked out ride. That is funny.
29) I saw the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. My system worked, inverting the order I read something and watch the movie after the travesties of The Da Vinci Code and several Grisham novels, and reading the book first. I am over-analytical about movies, but I will say this. See it. It is slightly long, but well worth it. And yes, there is a surprise sex scene with some nudity. Yay.
30) I hear Mike Wallace wants more than Larry Fitzgerald for his contract. Dude must either be really dumb, or REALLY want to stay a Steeler.
31) Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine apparently got mad at Joe Girardi for stopping a spring game. Really? Are you personally integrating yourself into the rivalry. Don't worry, Bobby. You are in it, it will come, and there is no need to manufacture anything.
32) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Austin Rivers will enter the NBA draft. Thanks for letting us know, Austin. Your talents will be missed of course, but now Duke can go back to their winning, age old, efficient offense of not dribbling the defense to death.
33) The Heat honored Trayvon Martin this week with photos of them dressed in hoodies. I admit it. I didn't hear about it. Here you go in case you also missed it. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gNZGRWMd7msShtng3-UP3YcivEuw?docId=cf76e46b87df4e90bbf77cbbbabce150
34) This is a new one. Nice, Jenks. Two more and you are eligible for my special team. You seem to have talent. http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/03/23/bobby-jenks-i-took-too-many-muscle-relaxers/
35) The Rangers are selling a new hot dog that costs $26. Do I even NEED to conjure a joke on this one? No, I don't.
36) They are still making new CSI: Miami's? This seriously gets me depressed about the masses. People, turn the channel. It is HORRIBLE. This is ALWAYS worth watching. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mznsEcZlM2I
37) You can finally get some sleep. Here is that stat that has been bugging you the last few years. I am here for you. JaVale McGee, the Nuggets new player from the Nene trade, is the ONLY NBA player EVER that is the son of a WNBA player. Damn. That is technically TWO women's basketball takes.
38) That is it. Second half of Cuse/ State about to start. Need to focus. Hey, Airwolf, come and pick me up and take me to the game. As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am getting the flock out of here.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Now that my heart has started beating again after the Louisville/ Florida game...just writing at commercials of the Ohio State/ Syracuse game as I am overloaded with hooks.
1) Sean Payton is out for the year. Wow. What a penalty, with a loaded team in the prime of their career. Was it too much? Ten years ago, I would have said yes. I also understand that old school football has bounties involved here and there. But. This is the Roger Goodell regime. It is what it is. Love him or hate him, he has his way, and that way has dramatically cleaned up the game on and off the field. He shocks people with certain penalties handed down, but then players and coaches are having second thoughts because of those penalties before doing a similar type of wrong. As far as the Saints go, here is my conspiracy plan. Bring in a cameo. Bring in a big gun. Bring in Gruden for year. Bring in Cowher for a year. Bring in Bill Parcells. Bring in someone who would be a ground-breaking as a rental. Will it happen? Probably not. But it sounds fun, doesn't it? Side note. I hear the Senate is going to join the bounty investigation. Ugghhhh.
2) Tiger hurts his achilles. Tiger gets better. Tiger tweaks his back. Tiger gets better. Tiger is presently leading at Bay Hill going into the final day. Here is the thing. Am I happy he is looking solid? You betcha. I am getting goosebumps thinking about him at Augusta in a couple weeks. That being said, here is the thing. If he blows the 1 stroke lead tomorrow, mentally he will be back to square one. He won't believe in himself, let alone have other players fear him anytime soon. Win this shit, buddy, and go into Augusta with that old stare from back in the day.
3) Tim Tebow goes to the Jets. I am surprised Mark Sanchez didn't get arrested for doing something stupid the night he heard this delightful news. I personally think it is a horrible fit, although my elation from him leaving this town outweighs any thoughts about that future situation. Mark Sanchez will throw three straight bad passes in week 2, and then have the luxury of listening the crowd start chanting Tebow, Tebow. That will be a treat. Good luck with that, Mark. Plus, anytime an organization wants to take you out for 10-15 plays to run a crazy option offense, you know you are not liked that much. You think Tom Brady would ever be off the field for 10-15 plays when healthy? Change of pace my ass. So let me ask this. Are they going to have two different practices, one without the Wildcat and one with? It won't work. Boy, would I LOVE to be a fly on the wall for Rex Ryan's first few chats with saintly Tebow. http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-tebow-absolutely-horrified-after-first-phone-c,27717/ Think I am glad he is out of Denver? Check out this crap: http://www.nfl.com/news/story/09000d5d827d0671/article/pat-robertson-broncos-treated-tebow-shabbily
4) Not only have the Thunder built a great team in the right way, but then they quietly picked up veteran Derek Fisher this week. GREAT pickup, and EXACTLY what they needed. You get championship experience, a veteran voice in the locker room, and a solid back up to stud Russell Westbrook. I still like the Bulls, but my uncertainty grows with this pickup.
5) Not sure what goes on at VCU, but I still have NO idea how that school continues to keep Shaka Smart. He turned down Illinois this week. Not that is a dream job or anything, but this is the second year in which he is turning down people left and right. Dare I say that Shaka must be the most content, happy, and nicest person I know.
6) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and your best pitcher starts opening day in baseball. Thanks, Nationals, for enlightening us that Stephen Strasburg is your opening day starter. Now I can get some sleep finally.
7) I am not one to do many hooks on women's basketball, but the story of Elena Della Donne is moving. Truly. She was the #1 recruit a couple years ago, and signed on with UConn. She drove away in the middle of the night after being there briefly. She ended up going to small school Delaware to be closer to her older sister, who has cerebral palsy. They lost to Kansas this year, but I am a better person for just hearing her story. Changing gears, and making sure I only have one hook on women's basketball, Brittney Griner? Dibs to the dunks, and your voice is scary low. Scary low.
8) Hey, Quizno's. I love some of your specials. I remember some prime rib one that was ridiculously good for a fast food place. But. This lobster thing you got going? I can't do it. I have to draw the line somewhere. And that is what I choose to do until I see helicopter landing pads on your roofs with rental paperwork proving you are using Airwolf to transport the lobster meat.
9) After a solid season, CSU's basketball coach decided to take the opening at Nebraska. I am a transplant here in Denver, therefore I don't even have any natural hatred towards the state of Nebraska aside from my ex-fiancee being from there. ANYWAY, dude. You DO realize that except for the level of competition you will be playing against, that this really isn't an upgrade, right? That is such a football school, that I wouldn't be surprised if their practice courts have rims with chains and are played on blacktop.
10) If it came out in the news that Andrew Bynum had some sort of mental disorder, I would not be surprised at all. Dude is huge, has mad skills, but seems to be playing with about 48 cards up there in the noggin. In the news again this week for complaining about an ejection.
11) Either ESPN is covering more soccer, or I truly believe that Lionel Messi reads my blog and has just become PISSED at me. Ever since I wrote that I would take Pele or Maradona first in a hypothetical soccer draft, he is all over the place. This week, he became the all time goal scorer in Barcelona history, and I have to admit, the goal he did it with was pretty freaking sweet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brV-_y9WpnI
12) I thought Samsung was a behind the times provider from the eighties. Then, I see that they have phones you can write on, and TV's that talk to and listen to you. When the hell did THEY just start kicking everyone's ass?
13) The Miami Heat sign Ronny Turiaf this week. This does help their front court depth for the playoffs, and adds another team on the future sports trivia question ten years from now of "You win $10,000 if you can name every team Ronny Turiaf has played for in order."
14) The Grizzlies quietly signed Gilbert Arenas this week. He actually can't join the team for another week because he has to follow the 7-day waiting period and background check rules (the joke is there. I PROMISE).
15) I love hockey. I love hockey fights. But the Devils/ Rangers having three guys from each team drop their gloves at the very beginning of the game made fun of the sport, and the whole concept of why fights actually exist in hockey. Dumb.
16) I am NOT saying this just because I am a Steelers fan, as I try not to be homer or just report my teams on this Rant. I am saying this as a true football fan. Hines Ward's retirement speech was genuine and moving. I am proud to be a fan of a franchise where a receiver retires because he doesn't want to suit up in anything else but black and gold (insert Big Ben joke here, readers). http://old.post-gazette.com/pg/12081/1218271-150.stm
17) I watched UNC's first game without Marshall, with him being benched because of his hurt wrist. It was ugly, lost basketball offense. I think they escape the weekend, and that he gets another week of healing, but I think that either the Cuse OR Ohio State will eat them up without him. Both have too good of guard play. His loss will be felt.
18) That mention of Airwolf got me thinking. Stringfellow Hawk is one of the coolest names for a TV character ever. Yeah. (starting to hum Airwolf theme music) Here. Hum along with me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr_CJL1YQRc
19) NCAA random thoughts:
-I don't understand why Kentucky's Michael Kidd-Gilchrist had to announce he is entering the NBA draft DURING their tourney run. Why tell us now? Concentrate on your present, not your future. The only theory I could fathom was that he was telling his teammates through the media that they better do some shit right NOW, because he ain't coming back.
-I am not saying that not having kids and not being married is robbing me of life's other joys, but watching EVERY single basketball game during March Madness has been absolutely delightful in every way. Different things make different people happy. I am happy.
-The free throw situation at the end of the Michigan St./ Louisville game was just plain odd. A player who wasn't fouled snuck to the line and missed the free throw. When the refs figured it out, they let the actual player shoot both free throws, which of course he made. Luckily, it had no bearing on the final score deficit, but how does THAT happen, and how is that legitimate rules?
-I LOVE how growing up, the zone was what you played when you were lazy, and Boeheim LIVES by it, and wins a LOT.
-Louisville's comeback against Florida was remarkable enough, but the fact that they ran out of timeouts, Silva fouled out early, Kuric and others had four fouls, were in the bonus early, etc. made it THAT much more remarkable. Everything was against them. If they got into a situation where they needed to foul to keep it close late, they would have run out of players and had to bring in Gene Hackman. Teacher:7. Student: 0 (although Donovan DOES have one more championship)
-Pitino has never lost when he gets to the Sweet Sixteen. That is amazing stuff.
20) The Knicks look good under Goodson. Still no huge rebirth of Linsanity, but maybe that says something about his system. Uhhh. DEFENSE, Knicks. There you go.
21) Someone needs to flowchart for me Venus Williams's career path. Evidently, she is back playing again. I actually follow tennis and I didn't really even know she was out. I thought she was just not winning.
22) Article I didn't have to open to chuckle. "Sandusky's lawyer asks judge to dismiss charges." What? Someone tell that guy to go visit the Bubble Boy. Moors!
23) Chipper Jones is retiring from baseball after this year, and after, evidently, his upcoming surgery. All jokes aside, there is a great article about his career and his class in a recent article of ESPN Mag. Check it out.
24) Very quietly, the Colts picked up Drew Stanton from the Jets, and made their young QB depth chart a lot better. Wow, Jets. You pick up Tebow and get rid of Stanton. Go with Sandusky's lawyer when he goes to the Sangers.
25) Iverson sighting! Iverson Sighting! (you know I LOVE that guy, so any news is good news for me when it involves him) Can we do the "practice speech?" Yes? Ok. Incredible, still. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDBR2L5kzI
26) My parents gave me Life's Little Instruction Books when I was growing up. I still have all of them. One of my neighbors locked herself out of her apartment, she used my phone, and I lent one to her so she could kill time until the key guy arrived. I told her the book was small enough, that she could just slide it under my door when the guy came. She never gave it back. Bitch.
27) Andrew Luck had his pro day. It went well. RGIII had his pro day. It went well. I am still going to be forever confused if RGIII goes first. I personally still don't get why he is going second.
28) I like that Volkswagen commercial where "Riding Dirty" is playing in the background and the mom is cruising in her daughter's boyfriend's crazy green, tricked out ride. That is funny.
29) I saw the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. My system worked, inverting the order I read something and watch the movie after the travesties of The Da Vinci Code and several Grisham novels, and reading the book first. I am over-analytical about movies, but I will say this. See it. It is slightly long, but well worth it. And yes, there is a surprise sex scene with some nudity. Yay.
30) I hear Mike Wallace wants more than Larry Fitzgerald for his contract. Dude must either be really dumb, or REALLY want to stay a Steeler.
31) Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine apparently got mad at Joe Girardi for stopping a spring game. Really? Are you personally integrating yourself into the rivalry. Don't worry, Bobby. You are in it, it will come, and there is no need to manufacture anything.
32) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Austin Rivers will enter the NBA draft. Thanks for letting us know, Austin. Your talents will be missed of course, but now Duke can go back to their winning, age old, efficient offense of not dribbling the defense to death.
33) The Heat honored Trayvon Martin this week with photos of them dressed in hoodies. I admit it. I didn't hear about it. Here you go in case you also missed it. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gNZGRWMd7msShtng3-UP3YcivEuw?docId=cf76e46b87df4e90bbf77cbbbabce150
34) This is a new one. Nice, Jenks. Two more and you are eligible for my special team. You seem to have talent. http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/03/23/bobby-jenks-i-took-too-many-muscle-relaxers/
35) The Rangers are selling a new hot dog that costs $26. Do I even NEED to conjure a joke on this one? No, I don't.
36) They are still making new CSI: Miami's? This seriously gets me depressed about the masses. People, turn the channel. It is HORRIBLE. This is ALWAYS worth watching. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mznsEcZlM2I
37) You can finally get some sleep. Here is that stat that has been bugging you the last few years. I am here for you. JaVale McGee, the Nuggets new player from the Nene trade, is the ONLY NBA player EVER that is the son of a WNBA player. Damn. That is technically TWO women's basketball takes.
38) That is it. Second half of Cuse/ State about to start. Need to focus. Hey, Airwolf, come and pick me up and take me to the game. As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am getting the flock out of here.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
1) I was WRONG. I was WAY wrong. I underestimated the power of the salesman being a Hall of Fame QB. The Titans bring Peyton closer to his family and roots, and have a great O-line. The 49ers have weapons, and just need someone to throw and hand off to them. In my software business, they call that a "plug and play." Denver? A great defense, solid running game, better weather than people think, a flexible coach, and a leader that is SO over Tebowmania and was just playing along. I still didn't think it was going to happen. I admit it. What it does for me is a couple things:
-I am excited. I will NEVER utter the words "second favorite team," but I think I might actually root for them when it doesn't affect the Steelers. It is fun just being in a town where the excitement, media circus, and scrutiny are.
-I found out today that my brother is now rooting for the Broncos. I can't believe I have two people in my family that root for the Broncos. Seems odd for a family from exit 1 or 2 in Jersey. Stay STRONG, Dad.
-Trade Tebow. The movement is over. You can't have Tebowmania and Manningia in the same town. I would be surprised if they got a third rounder for him to be honest. So. Where should he go? Well, aside from the obvious musical chair participants left out in the cold, Dolphins or Titans, my buddy and ex-boss Kyle has a plan. Jacksonville. That is his old crib (close), they will embrace him, and if Denver is smart, they try to get Blaine Gabbert or Chad Henne in return (won't work, but a hell of a thought).
-Very cool of 85 year old ex-Bronco Frank Tripucka to lend out his #18 retired jersey.
- They almost HAVE to trade Tim Tebow, don't they? Can you imagine the wasted time in practice going over Peyton's no-huddle offense and the triple option with Tebow.
-I admit it. This is the first year in a while that I am worried about the home team. Peyton changes a lot of things.
-If they get Mike Wallace, which was a conversation on local radio today, please keep sharp objects away from me.
-I am happy for my friends. Seriously. The Broncos have more than a pulse, and they know it. Damn.
2) Random NCAA notes:
-How historic. A 15-2 upset had occurred 4 times in history and not in the last 11 years. What do we get? Two in one day.
-The guy might look goofy, but he has game. And Duke, after losing to Florida State in the ACC semi's, drops a game to Lehigh on Friday. Ryan Kelly stretches the defenses with his shot, and gives them more minutes to rest others. They are very beatable without him in the lineup. To think they were previously 12-0 in their tourney games in Greensboro makes it more of a surprise...and to my bracket. I would have had Xavier in a heartbeat had it not been in Greensboro.
-All in all, kind of a quiet four days compared to past years. The two 15-2 upsets really make it historic, but there was a lacking in crazy finishes overall. Whether for my bracket or for my knockout pool, I kind of enjoy those semi-heart attacks every few hours.
-I didn't see it. I just heard about the reffing and saw some replays. I am talking about the mutterings of rigged games in that first round matchup with UNC-Asheville. The Cuse win, and then take care of K. State. Because of the Melo injury and some last second bracket changes, they are amazingly a forgotten #1 seed. I think they match up well athletically and depth wise with Wisconsin, even though usually outside shooting takes down a zone. Interesting also that the team that forces the most amount of turnovers going against the team with the least amount of turnovers for the year. I still like Ohio State to take Syracuse down in their title run.
-VCU had two days of headlines, bringing back headlines from last year. They then went down to Indiana. I am all good with all of that-I just wish they wouldn't have taken down Wichita State in the process, one of my sleepers that didn't pan out. Thanks to you also, Belmont.
-Although going down to Kentucky in the second round, Iowa State became a little more known this year. Transfer U, as I call them. Anyway, after watching both games, it makes the basketball fan part of me joyous to know we get to experience Royce White's skills for another year or two. Call me the closet Iowa State fan.
-Oddly, on Thursday, I saw the largest congregation of South Dakota State fans I could ever imagine outside of wherever their university is. And it was fun, for the 20 real time minutes they gave Baylor a run. Good show, though, small school.
-Baylor. Stop with the uniforms already. It hurts my eyes.
-Thank you Tru TV, TBS, TNT, and CBS for teaming up the last two years. After watching the first night at a "social place," I realized that watching the games on my couch with a charged remote was MUCH more my style. I made stereotypical male channel flipping look like a joke.
-I think it is funny when chicks memorize terms like Elite 8 and Sweet 16 at bars when discussing their infallible brackets in the first two days chosen by the little number in front of the school and occasionally their mascots.
-I may have been a 2 bracket person back in the day, but I firmly am a one bracket person for the remainder of my days. When I chose two brackets, I only changed one near the end game. I hate these 5 or 6 plus bracket people. "That game hurts me in two of my brackets." Choose a path and take it. Or as Yogi Berra would say, when you get to the fork in the road, take it.
-Chalk Thursday. Someone at work bragged on Friday how they had only missed two games. Ummm. There were only two upsets, Einstein.
-Charles Barkley doing halftimes at NCAA games is priceless. Love you, bro. Don't EVER change.
-Lehigh has the ugliest group of cheerleaders ever.
-Amazingly, Duke was kind of allowed chances at the end of the game by Lehigh. Amazingly, they couldn't take advantage. Lehigh, you almost blew it. Never, EVER celebrate against Duke until the final buzzer. You can crack on Duke all you want, but it takes an almost flawless performance to beat those kids. The pass that almost was broken up by Rivers but ended up in McCollum's hands I will self name "the bobble."
-I had to work during the first two days. Therefore, myself and two other colleagues all within 10 feet were watching our laptops, watching the numbers change. Painful. But fun nevertheless.
-Favorite headline from the weekend. After Duke lost, "Missouri loves company."
-You can look at my bracket. In the final written draft, I crossed out Ohio going to the Sweet 16 30 minutes before submitting. I thought having Purdue, Belmont, Wichita State, AND Ohio was a little much at that point. Damn.
-I give Coach K absolute respect for not making a Ryan Kelly excuse when prompted in post game interviews. He could have, and would have been right, but he chose the high road.
-Hey Kansas St. big men. News flash. The Cuse didn't have Fab Melo. Then you STILL get smoked? Can't believe it. Can't believe it wasn't even close. Frank Martin. I love you as a coach. Watching you truly break down in post game, and knowing that I worry about you beating down one of your kids during the game because of your abrasiveness, makes me really know what kind of coach you are. Dibs.
-Syracuse bench points? 33. K. St. bench points? Zero. That ain't going to get it done, folks.
-Every year, SOMEONE in the country has a perfect bracket going into the Elite 8. Even with a lot of chalk, not ONE person has one in the popular pools. Guess even idiots don't pick two #15 seeds to win.
-Leslie Visser looked like she just got back from a drinking/ drug bender when interviewing Calipari this weekend.
-Do none of these people have any success going on? They are doing a American Reunion? Wow. That is reaching, people. I haven't looked at the entire cast, but they better have Stiffler's mom in it.
-How can you not make free throws? OK. I know you can't make all of them. Let me rephrase that. How can you not even have a stroke that LOOKS like it might go in when you practice every day? I will stick with my usual bet. I can walk down to the park right now and make 15 out of 20. Already won bets on this, people. Not talking shit.
-Down 65-63, Notre Dame got called for a lane violation. Know your rules, kids. You could argue that these calls can't be called at this point in the game. A rule is a rule.
-I like the commercial with the buses behind the chick who just stopped at the dry cleaner...where the buses are different music options. Some car commercial. That damn Neon Trees song I was singing all weekend. And dammit, commercial, you only give me one line. Guess THAT was irritating to people around me.
-How is MY bracket? Not good. But. Three things. Winning is cool, but I just like watching the games for the love of the game mostly. Two. As long as I am in my knockout pool, I could give a rat's ass about my bracket. 2 out of 3 entries remain for me. I got greedy with FSU, and should have chosen Xavier or Florida twice. Three, my winner is still in (Ohio State), and I like the entire right side of the bracket with Melo being out and UNC's Marshall going down. Go Ohio State.
-Marshall's injury becomes huge. He might end up playing since it is on his non-shooting hand at some point, but he still won't be the same. He is a facilitator at its best. Him not being 100% sure as hell isn't going to help his already marginal shot, his backups won't have the drive and kick potential that he does, and it changes their comfort level. His backups, Watts or White, are far from Roy Williams run the floor guys also. I think UNC could have won this thing losing anyone besides the following people. Barnes and Marshall. KU's 2nd best player is their PG-Travis Taylor. It will be a bad matchup at that position. And I think that Aaron Craft will personally carve them up if they make it that far.
-I said earlier in the year that everyone better beat NC State before the bad ass recruiting class gets there next year. Scary they are still in it, although they have only beaten a subpar GTown squad and SDSU team.
-Baylor's Brady Heslip put on a good show with 9 ptrs the other night. Dude can shoot. I personally think he would disappear relatively on a college floor that didn't have 3 first round NBA picks, but he is fun nevertheless.
3) NBA trade deadline deals (I won't break down every trade-just a couple):
-Dwight Howard staying and then Deron Williams refusing to opt in is crazy. We know 40% tops, people. And that 40% is huge in this case. In a game of superstars wanting to play WITH each other and not joining other superstars, this is refreshing. Beat each other and the others with what you have. Become special with the hand you have been dealt. It is better.
-I think that the Lakers pull of Ramon Sessions was solid. Still not writing off that Fisher doesn't make it back to the Lakers, but they got younger, and have Steve Blake to mentor him.
-Poor Nene. Dude comes from a South American country. He has a team that seems to love him and believe in him. Falls in love with a CO woman. Settles in. Then, he gets shipped to a horrible DC team that's only upside is John Wall. John is excited. He would like those bad commercials to resurface at some point.
4) Guess Knicks coach Mike Woodson wasn't getting much mic time when D'Antoni was in charge. The Knicks had won 3 straight at press time, and their defense has found an intensity not present before. Along with announcing he is sticking with Linsanity and keeping Knicks fans happy, he has integrated to being on the hotseat in the largest media market in the world pretty damn well.
5) I think I made up a funny line this weekend, as I made it down to watch the St. Patty's day parade this weekend.
-When I do something spontaneous, I am never sure when I am done.
It is my second favorite made up line from me. First? From about 8 years ago, "What are my plans tonight? Why don't I call you back when my head is foggier and my path is clearer."
6) Parades are dumb I think. My only use for them besides the gathering itself is to remind myself how maybe NOT having kids is a good thing. Parades and festivals at Civic Center Park-yup. Anyway, the only worthwhile parade I have been to was in New Orleans at Mardi Gras...mutliple times. It had a purpose. As a dude, I needed beads for the night festivities. And buying them is not cool. It breaks the "code." At the parade, they threw free beads. You do the math. Talk about the last time I had another dude on my shoulders.
I am a small % Irish, but I never get into St. Patty's day. Can't help they chose the date that always hits the first week of the madness.
7) Kesolowski wins at Bristol. My only interest in this is that he is that tweeting guy. Sure, he wrote some good ones after his victory. NASCAR news. Reported. Check.
8) The next baseball coming, Nationals Bryce Harper, was sent back down to AAA. What is up with that? He must have already done something wrong off the field in spring training, and they are sending him down to keep him off the radar. That guy is the future face of the franchise. Someone go Google "strip clubs" and "Viera, Florida" and we might get some clues. Go to it.
9) The Nuggets resigned Wilson Chandler after his China adventure. This team is already a playoff team. Add him to the mix, and not only are they fun to watch, but I wouldn't want to mess with them in the playoffs.
10) Shhhh. With the NCAA tourney and Peyton taking the headlines, the Pats quietly signed WR Brandon Lloyd and WR Anthony Gonzalez. Weapons galore for Mr. Brady. If that young defense can mature a little more, they sure as hell don't have to worry about putting up numbers. Hey. Question. Do you think the Pats will EVER get a top flight running back? Not saying they need one to be top tier, just saying that I think it is odd they have pretty much not had one for like 20 years.
11) Matt Flynn signs with the Seahawks. Great fit. Pete Carroll is a QB coach, they are young and on the rise, and he has some weapons. Dome stadium. Matt. You are officially on center stage. Let's see if those crazy stats you put up in your brief starting stint hold up for a season.
12) PGA golfer Luke Donald is back at #1 in the world. We need Tiger to be good again, because this dude can't win a major, and I can't stand in tennis or golf when top seeds are traded off every other week by percentage points. Sorry. Although I like parity, I dig one person kicking everyone else's ass a lot more.
13) Alex Smith is in no-man's land. Through the Peyton sweepstakes, he now knows the 49ers don't want him. Seattle is now filled, Denver is now filled, and he is left with the team that doesn't want him or a crappy Dolphins team. This QB game this year is like musical chairs. Some dude, or some team is going to run out of chairs when the music stops.
14) Thoughts go out to soccer Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba. After collapsing during a game this week, they restarted his heart and he is ok. Odd injury, and glad it is not a dismal story. Serious enough that I won't even make a soccer/ faking injury joke. Seriously, glad you are ok, Fabrice.
15) Flow chart needed.
-Derek Fisher is traded without telling Kobe beforehand
-Derek Fisher agrees to buyout agreement with Houston
-LeBron says that Fisher might be good fit on Heat
-this story is not done
16) After signing Randy Moss, the 49ers signed WR Mario Manningham. Thought this was a sure sign that they would get Peyton. Now, they have a pissed off starter incumbent, an over the hill Hall of Famer, and no one to throw the ball to them.
17) Although I think that the Pens will be the best team in the playoffs if Crosby remains healthy, I found joy in the fact that their streak was stopped by the Flyers Sunday.
18) Family Guy classic. When Peter plays "The Bird is the Word" constantly. Awesome, and a true test of whether you love or hate Family Guy.
19) In the musical chairs of NFL QB's, the Cardinals stuck with their new unhappy long term relationship. Them settling with Kevin Kolb is like an unhappy couple getting married.
20) Lindsey Vonn won again apparently, and broke some World Cup record in the process. She is just smoking people. Damn, I wish I knew more about skiing to talk about this. I know. I live in Denver, and I don't like skiing. Actually, let me rephrase that comment. My KNEES don't like skiing.
21) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and another big time athlete makes a "comeback" after less than a two year layoff. Andy Pettite is back. Does this show more about his lack of retirement conviction, or the Yankees lack of pitching? Pick a side, and you can make an argument.
22) The sky is STILL blue, the grass is STILL green, and the agent for Greg Oden says his client is "committed" to an NBA return. Greg, let's go out for some beers. I may have not been in the NCAA championship, and I may not have been drafted #1 in the NBA draft, but think of it this way. WE don't have to talk. Our KNEES can talk over some beers. Plus, you and I can chat how I look ten years younger, and you look 10 years older. Shame Nate McMillan took the fall for this wasted pick and Brandon Roy's injury.
23) I get warm and fuzzy when I watch that Liberty Mutual commercial where everyone does good deeds. You know. Someone holds the door for someone, someone sees is, and then does something nice for someone else. Commercial ends when the initial person has something done nice for then. I am rarely serious, but I dig it. Kind of like Pay it Forward in a 30 second commercial without a little kid getting stabbed at the end.
24) Why am I not letting you all know when I release a rant? Because if you like it, you will be checking in. And it is March. No time. Barely time to Rant. Plus, the traction is still there. Phase 2 of my blow up plan is enacted the second week of April. That is when I get my game on and send to my compiled email addresses of writers. If you like it, tell your friends. Sure, I wouldn't mind a break, but I am on pace for 1300 hits this month, and am proud that it is happening the old fashioned way. 2 readers or 1300-it is NOT like I will stop unleashing this shit.
25) WTF? Did Clash of the Titans actually pull the masses enough to make a Wrath of the Titans? Confused.
26) The Visa Seinfeld was on tonight. Why is that significant? My across the hall neighbor, John, was Babu's brother who says "too fruity." A check for $233 was mailed today to him for that being on the air for his 15 second part. I have seen the checks. Crazy.
27) Talk about an offer he couldn't refuse (Denver and Buffalo both pulled a Godfather this week), Mario Williams oddly signed with the Bills this week. Wow. Sometimes it is about the money, and sometimes it is not. I love Ryan Fitzpatrick, but can't believe Mario left the Texans. Not sure if there is a mob regional stronghold in Buffalo, but they must have enlisted the Godfather for this contract.
28) FC stunned the Galaxy. I am not going to look this up on purpose. I thought that Donovan and Beckham just won the championship like 2 months ago. Confused.
29) I hear the Chiefs picked up Peyton Hillis. How many freaking running backs do they have at this point? Do they think they are playing fantasy? You can't start 3 at one time (well, two and a RB/ WR)...unless YOU guys pick up Tebow.
30) That is it, people. I probably will shoot out a rant Wednesday night before week 2 of the madness begins. Peace.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
1) I was WRONG. I was WAY wrong. I underestimated the power of the salesman being a Hall of Fame QB. The Titans bring Peyton closer to his family and roots, and have a great O-line. The 49ers have weapons, and just need someone to throw and hand off to them. In my software business, they call that a "plug and play." Denver? A great defense, solid running game, better weather than people think, a flexible coach, and a leader that is SO over Tebowmania and was just playing along. I still didn't think it was going to happen. I admit it. What it does for me is a couple things:
-I am excited. I will NEVER utter the words "second favorite team," but I think I might actually root for them when it doesn't affect the Steelers. It is fun just being in a town where the excitement, media circus, and scrutiny are.
-I found out today that my brother is now rooting for the Broncos. I can't believe I have two people in my family that root for the Broncos. Seems odd for a family from exit 1 or 2 in Jersey. Stay STRONG, Dad.
-Trade Tebow. The movement is over. You can't have Tebowmania and Manningia in the same town. I would be surprised if they got a third rounder for him to be honest. So. Where should he go? Well, aside from the obvious musical chair participants left out in the cold, Dolphins or Titans, my buddy and ex-boss Kyle has a plan. Jacksonville. That is his old crib (close), they will embrace him, and if Denver is smart, they try to get Blaine Gabbert or Chad Henne in return (won't work, but a hell of a thought).
-Very cool of 85 year old ex-Bronco Frank Tripucka to lend out his #18 retired jersey.
- They almost HAVE to trade Tim Tebow, don't they? Can you imagine the wasted time in practice going over Peyton's no-huddle offense and the triple option with Tebow.
-I admit it. This is the first year in a while that I am worried about the home team. Peyton changes a lot of things.
-If they get Mike Wallace, which was a conversation on local radio today, please keep sharp objects away from me.
-I am happy for my friends. Seriously. The Broncos have more than a pulse, and they know it. Damn.
2) Random NCAA notes:
-How historic. A 15-2 upset had occurred 4 times in history and not in the last 11 years. What do we get? Two in one day.
-The guy might look goofy, but he has game. And Duke, after losing to Florida State in the ACC semi's, drops a game to Lehigh on Friday. Ryan Kelly stretches the defenses with his shot, and gives them more minutes to rest others. They are very beatable without him in the lineup. To think they were previously 12-0 in their tourney games in Greensboro makes it more of a surprise...and to my bracket. I would have had Xavier in a heartbeat had it not been in Greensboro.
-All in all, kind of a quiet four days compared to past years. The two 15-2 upsets really make it historic, but there was a lacking in crazy finishes overall. Whether for my bracket or for my knockout pool, I kind of enjoy those semi-heart attacks every few hours.
-I didn't see it. I just heard about the reffing and saw some replays. I am talking about the mutterings of rigged games in that first round matchup with UNC-Asheville. The Cuse win, and then take care of K. State. Because of the Melo injury and some last second bracket changes, they are amazingly a forgotten #1 seed. I think they match up well athletically and depth wise with Wisconsin, even though usually outside shooting takes down a zone. Interesting also that the team that forces the most amount of turnovers going against the team with the least amount of turnovers for the year. I still like Ohio State to take Syracuse down in their title run.
-VCU had two days of headlines, bringing back headlines from last year. They then went down to Indiana. I am all good with all of that-I just wish they wouldn't have taken down Wichita State in the process, one of my sleepers that didn't pan out. Thanks to you also, Belmont.
-Although going down to Kentucky in the second round, Iowa State became a little more known this year. Transfer U, as I call them. Anyway, after watching both games, it makes the basketball fan part of me joyous to know we get to experience Royce White's skills for another year or two. Call me the closet Iowa State fan.
-Oddly, on Thursday, I saw the largest congregation of South Dakota State fans I could ever imagine outside of wherever their university is. And it was fun, for the 20 real time minutes they gave Baylor a run. Good show, though, small school.
-Baylor. Stop with the uniforms already. It hurts my eyes.
-Thank you Tru TV, TBS, TNT, and CBS for teaming up the last two years. After watching the first night at a "social place," I realized that watching the games on my couch with a charged remote was MUCH more my style. I made stereotypical male channel flipping look like a joke.
-I think it is funny when chicks memorize terms like Elite 8 and Sweet 16 at bars when discussing their infallible brackets in the first two days chosen by the little number in front of the school and occasionally their mascots.
-I may have been a 2 bracket person back in the day, but I firmly am a one bracket person for the remainder of my days. When I chose two brackets, I only changed one near the end game. I hate these 5 or 6 plus bracket people. "That game hurts me in two of my brackets." Choose a path and take it. Or as Yogi Berra would say, when you get to the fork in the road, take it.
-Chalk Thursday. Someone at work bragged on Friday how they had only missed two games. Ummm. There were only two upsets, Einstein.
-Charles Barkley doing halftimes at NCAA games is priceless. Love you, bro. Don't EVER change.
-Lehigh has the ugliest group of cheerleaders ever.
-Amazingly, Duke was kind of allowed chances at the end of the game by Lehigh. Amazingly, they couldn't take advantage. Lehigh, you almost blew it. Never, EVER celebrate against Duke until the final buzzer. You can crack on Duke all you want, but it takes an almost flawless performance to beat those kids. The pass that almost was broken up by Rivers but ended up in McCollum's hands I will self name "the bobble."
-I had to work during the first two days. Therefore, myself and two other colleagues all within 10 feet were watching our laptops, watching the numbers change. Painful. But fun nevertheless.
-Favorite headline from the weekend. After Duke lost, "Missouri loves company."
-You can look at my bracket. In the final written draft, I crossed out Ohio going to the Sweet 16 30 minutes before submitting. I thought having Purdue, Belmont, Wichita State, AND Ohio was a little much at that point. Damn.
-I give Coach K absolute respect for not making a Ryan Kelly excuse when prompted in post game interviews. He could have, and would have been right, but he chose the high road.
-Hey Kansas St. big men. News flash. The Cuse didn't have Fab Melo. Then you STILL get smoked? Can't believe it. Can't believe it wasn't even close. Frank Martin. I love you as a coach. Watching you truly break down in post game, and knowing that I worry about you beating down one of your kids during the game because of your abrasiveness, makes me really know what kind of coach you are. Dibs.
-Syracuse bench points? 33. K. St. bench points? Zero. That ain't going to get it done, folks.
-Every year, SOMEONE in the country has a perfect bracket going into the Elite 8. Even with a lot of chalk, not ONE person has one in the popular pools. Guess even idiots don't pick two #15 seeds to win.
-Leslie Visser looked like she just got back from a drinking/ drug bender when interviewing Calipari this weekend.
-Do none of these people have any success going on? They are doing a American Reunion? Wow. That is reaching, people. I haven't looked at the entire cast, but they better have Stiffler's mom in it.
-How can you not make free throws? OK. I know you can't make all of them. Let me rephrase that. How can you not even have a stroke that LOOKS like it might go in when you practice every day? I will stick with my usual bet. I can walk down to the park right now and make 15 out of 20. Already won bets on this, people. Not talking shit.
-Down 65-63, Notre Dame got called for a lane violation. Know your rules, kids. You could argue that these calls can't be called at this point in the game. A rule is a rule.
-I like the commercial with the buses behind the chick who just stopped at the dry cleaner...where the buses are different music options. Some car commercial. That damn Neon Trees song I was singing all weekend. And dammit, commercial, you only give me one line. Guess THAT was irritating to people around me.
-How is MY bracket? Not good. But. Three things. Winning is cool, but I just like watching the games for the love of the game mostly. Two. As long as I am in my knockout pool, I could give a rat's ass about my bracket. 2 out of 3 entries remain for me. I got greedy with FSU, and should have chosen Xavier or Florida twice. Three, my winner is still in (Ohio State), and I like the entire right side of the bracket with Melo being out and UNC's Marshall going down. Go Ohio State.
-Marshall's injury becomes huge. He might end up playing since it is on his non-shooting hand at some point, but he still won't be the same. He is a facilitator at its best. Him not being 100% sure as hell isn't going to help his already marginal shot, his backups won't have the drive and kick potential that he does, and it changes their comfort level. His backups, Watts or White, are far from Roy Williams run the floor guys also. I think UNC could have won this thing losing anyone besides the following people. Barnes and Marshall. KU's 2nd best player is their PG-Travis Taylor. It will be a bad matchup at that position. And I think that Aaron Craft will personally carve them up if they make it that far.
-I said earlier in the year that everyone better beat NC State before the bad ass recruiting class gets there next year. Scary they are still in it, although they have only beaten a subpar GTown squad and SDSU team.
-Baylor's Brady Heslip put on a good show with 9 ptrs the other night. Dude can shoot. I personally think he would disappear relatively on a college floor that didn't have 3 first round NBA picks, but he is fun nevertheless.
3) NBA trade deadline deals (I won't break down every trade-just a couple):
-Dwight Howard staying and then Deron Williams refusing to opt in is crazy. We know 40% tops, people. And that 40% is huge in this case. In a game of superstars wanting to play WITH each other and not joining other superstars, this is refreshing. Beat each other and the others with what you have. Become special with the hand you have been dealt. It is better.
-I think that the Lakers pull of Ramon Sessions was solid. Still not writing off that Fisher doesn't make it back to the Lakers, but they got younger, and have Steve Blake to mentor him.
-Poor Nene. Dude comes from a South American country. He has a team that seems to love him and believe in him. Falls in love with a CO woman. Settles in. Then, he gets shipped to a horrible DC team that's only upside is John Wall. John is excited. He would like those bad commercials to resurface at some point.
4) Guess Knicks coach Mike Woodson wasn't getting much mic time when D'Antoni was in charge. The Knicks had won 3 straight at press time, and their defense has found an intensity not present before. Along with announcing he is sticking with Linsanity and keeping Knicks fans happy, he has integrated to being on the hotseat in the largest media market in the world pretty damn well.
5) I think I made up a funny line this weekend, as I made it down to watch the St. Patty's day parade this weekend.
-When I do something spontaneous, I am never sure when I am done.
It is my second favorite made up line from me. First? From about 8 years ago, "What are my plans tonight? Why don't I call you back when my head is foggier and my path is clearer."
6) Parades are dumb I think. My only use for them besides the gathering itself is to remind myself how maybe NOT having kids is a good thing. Parades and festivals at Civic Center Park-yup. Anyway, the only worthwhile parade I have been to was in New Orleans at Mardi Gras...mutliple times. It had a purpose. As a dude, I needed beads for the night festivities. And buying them is not cool. It breaks the "code." At the parade, they threw free beads. You do the math. Talk about the last time I had another dude on my shoulders.
I am a small % Irish, but I never get into St. Patty's day. Can't help they chose the date that always hits the first week of the madness.
7) Kesolowski wins at Bristol. My only interest in this is that he is that tweeting guy. Sure, he wrote some good ones after his victory. NASCAR news. Reported. Check.
8) The next baseball coming, Nationals Bryce Harper, was sent back down to AAA. What is up with that? He must have already done something wrong off the field in spring training, and they are sending him down to keep him off the radar. That guy is the future face of the franchise. Someone go Google "strip clubs" and "Viera, Florida" and we might get some clues. Go to it.
9) The Nuggets resigned Wilson Chandler after his China adventure. This team is already a playoff team. Add him to the mix, and not only are they fun to watch, but I wouldn't want to mess with them in the playoffs.
10) Shhhh. With the NCAA tourney and Peyton taking the headlines, the Pats quietly signed WR Brandon Lloyd and WR Anthony Gonzalez. Weapons galore for Mr. Brady. If that young defense can mature a little more, they sure as hell don't have to worry about putting up numbers. Hey. Question. Do you think the Pats will EVER get a top flight running back? Not saying they need one to be top tier, just saying that I think it is odd they have pretty much not had one for like 20 years.
11) Matt Flynn signs with the Seahawks. Great fit. Pete Carroll is a QB coach, they are young and on the rise, and he has some weapons. Dome stadium. Matt. You are officially on center stage. Let's see if those crazy stats you put up in your brief starting stint hold up for a season.
12) PGA golfer Luke Donald is back at #1 in the world. We need Tiger to be good again, because this dude can't win a major, and I can't stand in tennis or golf when top seeds are traded off every other week by percentage points. Sorry. Although I like parity, I dig one person kicking everyone else's ass a lot more.
13) Alex Smith is in no-man's land. Through the Peyton sweepstakes, he now knows the 49ers don't want him. Seattle is now filled, Denver is now filled, and he is left with the team that doesn't want him or a crappy Dolphins team. This QB game this year is like musical chairs. Some dude, or some team is going to run out of chairs when the music stops.
14) Thoughts go out to soccer Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba. After collapsing during a game this week, they restarted his heart and he is ok. Odd injury, and glad it is not a dismal story. Serious enough that I won't even make a soccer/ faking injury joke. Seriously, glad you are ok, Fabrice.
15) Flow chart needed.
-Derek Fisher is traded without telling Kobe beforehand
-Derek Fisher agrees to buyout agreement with Houston
-LeBron says that Fisher might be good fit on Heat
-this story is not done
16) After signing Randy Moss, the 49ers signed WR Mario Manningham. Thought this was a sure sign that they would get Peyton. Now, they have a pissed off starter incumbent, an over the hill Hall of Famer, and no one to throw the ball to them.
17) Although I think that the Pens will be the best team in the playoffs if Crosby remains healthy, I found joy in the fact that their streak was stopped by the Flyers Sunday.
18) Family Guy classic. When Peter plays "The Bird is the Word" constantly. Awesome, and a true test of whether you love or hate Family Guy.
19) In the musical chairs of NFL QB's, the Cardinals stuck with their new unhappy long term relationship. Them settling with Kevin Kolb is like an unhappy couple getting married.
20) Lindsey Vonn won again apparently, and broke some World Cup record in the process. She is just smoking people. Damn, I wish I knew more about skiing to talk about this. I know. I live in Denver, and I don't like skiing. Actually, let me rephrase that comment. My KNEES don't like skiing.
21) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and another big time athlete makes a "comeback" after less than a two year layoff. Andy Pettite is back. Does this show more about his lack of retirement conviction, or the Yankees lack of pitching? Pick a side, and you can make an argument.
22) The sky is STILL blue, the grass is STILL green, and the agent for Greg Oden says his client is "committed" to an NBA return. Greg, let's go out for some beers. I may have not been in the NCAA championship, and I may not have been drafted #1 in the NBA draft, but think of it this way. WE don't have to talk. Our KNEES can talk over some beers. Plus, you and I can chat how I look ten years younger, and you look 10 years older. Shame Nate McMillan took the fall for this wasted pick and Brandon Roy's injury.
23) I get warm and fuzzy when I watch that Liberty Mutual commercial where everyone does good deeds. You know. Someone holds the door for someone, someone sees is, and then does something nice for someone else. Commercial ends when the initial person has something done nice for then. I am rarely serious, but I dig it. Kind of like Pay it Forward in a 30 second commercial without a little kid getting stabbed at the end.
24) Why am I not letting you all know when I release a rant? Because if you like it, you will be checking in. And it is March. No time. Barely time to Rant. Plus, the traction is still there. Phase 2 of my blow up plan is enacted the second week of April. That is when I get my game on and send to my compiled email addresses of writers. If you like it, tell your friends. Sure, I wouldn't mind a break, but I am on pace for 1300 hits this month, and am proud that it is happening the old fashioned way. 2 readers or 1300-it is NOT like I will stop unleashing this shit.
25) WTF? Did Clash of the Titans actually pull the masses enough to make a Wrath of the Titans? Confused.
26) The Visa Seinfeld was on tonight. Why is that significant? My across the hall neighbor, John, was Babu's brother who says "too fruity." A check for $233 was mailed today to him for that being on the air for his 15 second part. I have seen the checks. Crazy.
27) Talk about an offer he couldn't refuse (Denver and Buffalo both pulled a Godfather this week), Mario Williams oddly signed with the Bills this week. Wow. Sometimes it is about the money, and sometimes it is not. I love Ryan Fitzpatrick, but can't believe Mario left the Texans. Not sure if there is a mob regional stronghold in Buffalo, but they must have enlisted the Godfather for this contract.
28) FC stunned the Galaxy. I am not going to look this up on purpose. I thought that Donovan and Beckham just won the championship like 2 months ago. Confused.
29) I hear the Chiefs picked up Peyton Hillis. How many freaking running backs do they have at this point? Do they think they are playing fantasy? You can't start 3 at one time (well, two and a RB/ WR)...unless YOU guys pick up Tebow.
30) That is it, people. I probably will shoot out a rant Wednesday night before week 2 of the madness begins. Peace.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
It's not easy being green...
Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Watching this Lamar/ Vermont warm-up game...under the weather, but brewing with excitement. Cold is below the neck so no gym to burn it out-therefore, I guess I better rant, right?
1) First of all, I have to give a shout out to Fab Melo. Thank you. Seriously. Of my last couple rounds of picks, Syracuse/ Ohio State was my big unknown. More on this later, but I have picked my one and only bracket, with no huge reservations about my picks. And Fab? You made it a lot easier.
2) Peyton is looking at other teams like Miami, Tennessee, and Arizona for a job, but Denver seems to be the front runner at this point. Four things. 1) I think that I am happy I am in a town that might have some crazy media buzz coming up. I am not a fan, but it seems to be a pretty good fit overall and just sounds fun. 2) Leading me to this point...It would make me SLIGHTLY nervous, as it appears that plugging him into an offense with a solid offensive line, better weather than people think we do, a young, strong defense with great pass rushers, and a solid rushing attack with or without Mr. Tebow would be a much, much better team. And he doesn't violate college chicks. 3) Leading me to this point...if you pick here, Peyton, THANK YOU. End. Tebow. Mania. For the love of ...you know. 4) Is Reggie Wayne still a package deal, or am I reading the wrong rumors column? SIDENOTE: Hey, Madden football, you better wait until this shit settles down before putting Golden Child on your cover. SIDENOTE #2: as much as I hate listening to local sport radio, I heard a tidbit coming back from a work visit in the Springs the other day. In the spirit of Brett Favre working out with MS HS teams back in the day, Peyton Manning was caught throwing balls to ex-Bronco Brandon Stokely in a PARK in CASTLE ROCK (just south of Denver).
3) Hey, Tiger. I get that your torque is probably much higher than your fellow golfers. I get that you try crazy spins from crazy lies, meaning that your body is sometimes contorted. But, GEEZ, man. You get hurt a LOT for a in shape golfer. Have you looked at the fatties playing around you who haven't been hurt in ten years? You BETTER get well before the Masters. Since I have picked you to win like the last 40 tournaments, you HAVE to come through ONE of these times, right?
4) I hear all this crap about how well the committee is doing with their selections overall. That is because we are freaking INCREASING the field every year. We are making it easier on them. Plus, as Charles Barkley says, if you are between teams 60-70 on the radar, you should do less complaining and more winning games. You put yourself in that situation to possibly bitch. Luckily, Iona lost last night, meaning I don't have to advance team BYU/ Iona (two teams with a slash between them) too far into the tournament like last year's people had to do with VCU. Hey, Iona and leading assist man in the country, Scott Machado. TWO assists in the second half...for your TEAM? Not going to get it done, and very odd from your squad. Thanks for laying an egg before I had to turn in my brackets.
5) (Singing) Start spreading the news. Mike's leaving today, He want to be no part of it, New York, New York. D'Antoni "left" the Knicks. Ripple effect? Check out all the things this events does:
-Linsanity is the quickest movement since Tommy Lee Jones in Under Siege
-Melo is once again known as "not easy to coach."
-Phil Jackson is at a temple right now contemplating coming back to the largest US City, non-winners since the early 70's, and HIS old team...storybook...
-John Calipari is getting irritating texts and calls right before the NCAA tourney (can you all let him WIN one with all of his talent before automatically assuming he is anything better than a cheating recruiter?)
-D'Antoni will end up coaching a directional school or the New Orleans Hornets very soon (there is a joke there...look for it)
-Baron Davis is out drinking celebrating that a bad story has not had him in it ONE time this entire time with the Knicks.
6) SOMEONE finally has been watching Bill Russell tape. Fantastic. It is so cool to block a shot into the stands, that players forget it is also kind of cool to retain possession also. DeAndre Jordan. I salute you. Good stuff. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8UWxSXWIkQ
7) Big announcement. I have officially placed Brandon Marshall on my "special team." He survived being picked up in a car by Marcus Vick, and then aced the interview with Sebastian Janikowski. Good job. Ron Artest, Diego Maradona, and others welcome you with open arms. Brandon got traded to another team, AND made the wire RIGHT below THAT headline with possibly hitting a chick at a bar at 3:50am. Good stuff, Brandon. I am bringing you aboard, because now that you are back with your fellow headcase QB Jay Cutler, I am sure there will be LOTS bad to do in Chicago. Do it up, bro, and make sure you get caught.
8) FLOW chart needed, dammit.
-the trade deadline is coming
-Howard will not opt out
-Howard wants to finish SEASON with Magic
-the Magic don't want to trade Howard
-Nets websites selling Howard jerseys online
(These are ALL actual headlines in the last three days)
9) Obama has UNC to win it all. I won't be a hater until the end, Mr. President. We have the exact same Final Four until the last three games. Mr. President, I wasn't working with my UNC loving boss the last time they won it. Can you cut me a break? That would be hell if it happened. Hell. His upside is that he hates Duke, but come on...
10) Speaking of UNC, their football team got hit with harsh penalties this week. Forget what they did wrong. Forget what the penalties are. Isn't it freaking hilarious when a team that sucks gets busted for cheating? I think they should get 2 scholarships back...for sucking at cheating. They are banned 1 year in the postseason. Is there a sound if a tree falls in the forest?
11) Chalk, chalk, chalk. In the ALWAYS unpredictable women's tournament, hmmmm...uhhhhh...I will take Baylor to take it all, with Notre Dame, Stanford, and UConn the other Final Four teams. NO. Change that. I want to live on the EDGE. I will take Duke over Stanford in that region because I think some short superstar from Colorado high school from back in the day plays on their team. I am CRAZY. Cinderella 2 seed.
12) Sighting! Sighting! Today, the Bucks got Monta Ellis and two players for Andrew Bogut and Stephen Jackson. Why is this SO exciting? Forget that Monta Ellis will be lost in the town that is Milwaukee and start watching Laverne and Shirley reruns suddenly. Forget that Stephen Jackson switches teams every 6 months or that we forget that Bogut was a #1 pick. It is all about the SIGHTING. One of the other two players in that trade? Kwame Brown aka the player who literally sunk MJ's owner career. Two players chosen AFTER Brown in that 2001 draft? Tyson Chandler and Pau Gasol. Not groundbreaking, but definitive upgrades. Not as bad as Zeke's Knicks GM career, but not good nevertheless.
13) If ANYONE deserves to get a monster, grossly overpaid contract, it is Calvin Johnson. He is young. He stays healthy. He is the WR version of Shannon Sharpe. And, we know he dresses well from that commercial. Eight years, $132 million. Done and done. Hey, Matthew Stafford, you have no excuses for a long, long time.
14) Perhaps realizing that they are a much better team then their horrible record last year, the Bucs have been the busiest today in the opening of free agency. They get a quality guard in Carl Nicks, a solid CB in Eric Wright, and a waiting for the right situation beast in WR Vincent Jackson. No way they do a repeat of last year. I know ONE Tampa Bay fan. He is a happy camper these days. Shout out, "Florida Swim!" Bet you still can't take me in Golden Tee, bro.
15) I only am basing this off rumors I have read, but I would find it hard to believe that nothing will happen in the next day or two surrounding Dwight Howard, the Lakers/ Pau Gasol, the Bulls, or the Dallas Mavericks.
16) The Saints resign Marques Colston, which means another year of me sitting at the fantasy draft with 2 running backs and 1 QB in the fourth round trying NOT to pick him. Great. Stop spreading around the ball, Drew Brees. Dammit.
17) I like how the Tennessee Titans "hosted" Steve Hutchinson this week. Talk about an obvious ploy to get Peyton. Did you guys tweet it to make sure EVERYONE knew he was in town? Surprised there isn't a building high sign like Kramer's beat the cigarette companies deal.
18) March Madness. And a quiet story concerning one of my flow charts, has surfaced. Sidney Crosby is returning Thursday. That is a perfect plan, Pens. No one will even notice that he returns and then get hurts again because you kept this story so low key. I hope I am wrong about him getting hurt again, just as every hockey fan in the world hopes that I am wrong.
19) Kyle Orton, evidently beaten down by Tebowmania has acknowledged he is a career back-up QB. He signed with the Cowboys today. Good fit. Solid back-up, pretty stadium, and pretty cheerleaders. Side story, the Cowboys released Terence Newman. Guess THAT lock first round pick didn't pan out as expected. Go hang out with Pacman Jones, Terence...at a strip club.
20) I was sad to hear that Derrick Rose was fined for talking about the refs. 25k isn't anything to him, but the guy has stayed above the gray area for his career so far. Don't be THAT guy, Derrick. Your actions on the court already indicate you are going to be an all-timer. Luckily, you didn't have any contact on this dunk for fear of someone being posterized or you getting screwed by the refs: http://www.cbssports.com/nba/blog/eye-on-basketball/17756888/video-derrick-rose-soars-for-a-dunk-against-the-knicks
21) I love when announcers give a stat about how a college team has been there, done that before. I am sure those freshman out there are thinking the same thing. Different era, different teams...only a differently installed "attitude" if you will. Those guys might be high school stars, but they are still kind of scared shitless from the pressure.
22) David Wright had a torn muscle in Mets camp this week. Luckily, the season is only off for about 3 months, and there are 162 games. You will be fine, Mets fans. Well, you will be a healthy underachiever...promise.
23) Randy Moss signs with the 49ers. He had the retirement length of an 80's boxer, is easily one of the best to play his position of all time, and simply has some head "obstacles." No word on whether who he initially worked out with, Coach Harbaugh, will be a player-coach and whether Moss is already mad at Alex Smith, even though he hasn't thrown him a pass yet.
24) Whether each team ever ends up being "tough" enough to ever make noise for the NBA title, the Hawks and Clippers are easily the two most fun teams to watch play outside of OKC and Miami (I am still picking the Bulls, just saying they are not "fun" to watch play). Forget a half time show between the Thunder and Bulls. Just have these two fun teams suit up and dunk away.
25) Bountygate sure got quiet really quick. That is because anyone THINKING about talking is awaiting the penalties by Goodell on the Saints before talking TOO much.
26) Hey, ESPN Top Plays. I know some people are excited about baseball, but can we make a rule that spring game plays are NOT allowed in your top ten. Hitting it to the top of Fenway was pretty cool, but it being a spring game TOTALLY lost my interest.
27) It was fun to have one of my columnist heroes, Bill Simmons, help announce a quarter of the Clippers/ Celtics game the other night. Dude knows his shit, and is like the Dennis Miller of sports with his references.
28) I hear that Tony Stewart did a three wide pass after a restart last weekend. Tony, if you could compare that with what Cole Trickle did in Days of Thunder, and then explain the similarities and differences, I would gladly dig it.
29) The Steelers offered restricted free agent Mike Wallace an offer. No resolution yet, but SHHHHHEEWWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUU.....I was trying to spell a relieved sigh. Not sure if that is right.
30) The Redskins and Cowboys were recently docked cap room. Forget the Cowboys. You are telling me the Redskins, the team who overpays 80% of the players it has had over the last ten years has LESS money? Wow. They might have to resort to actually a building a team through the draft. What? Oh, yeah. Forgot. They just did that ridiculous trade to get to #2 in this year's draft. Talk about the absolute opposite of the OKC Thunder. Wow.
31) Mark Richt was just signed to a new 5 year contract with Georgia football. Mark, meet basketball coach Rick Barnes. Rick, meet Mark. I have NO idea how you don't win a championship with some of your talent, but you guys still are on contract and still have a job. Good job, guys. Aim high.
32) I had a sniffly nose yesterday, as I am fighting something. I was in the mood for Seinfeld. Talk about karma? Comcast only carries four episodes a week for the show, but I went looking for one, and they had it. The Sniffing Accountant. Bingo. Myra had the baby! Same episode.
33) FINAL DRAFT (I only pick one bracket), listed game by game and then into later rounds (there is NO way I will figure out how to paste a spreadsheet in here)
Only major changes from my rough draft breakdown? No Iona, so no upset in first round games. I decided that Michigan would win two games as I am not totally sold on Ohio, and I have Belmont getting crazy in the same region. And Fab Melo being out means my ambiguity is gone in that region. I think Syracuse could lose in second round to K St. Vandy will definitely take them with their inside presence AND outside shooting.
SOUTH:
UK, ISU, Wich St., New Mexico St, UNLV, Baylor, Xavier, Duke.
UK, Wich St., Baylor, Duke.
UK, Baylor
UK
WEST:
Mich St., St. Louis, Long Beach State, Louisville, Murray State, Marquette, Florida, Mizzou
Mich St., Long Beach State, Marquette, Mizzou
Mich St., Mizzou
Mizzou
EAST:
Cuse, K St., Vandy, Wisconsin, Cincy, FSU, WVA, Ohio St.
K St., Vandy, FSU, Ohio St.
Vandy, Ohio St.
Ohio St.
MIDWEST:
UNC, Creighton, Cal/ USF, Michigan, NC St, Belmont, Purdue, KU
UNC, Mich, Belmont, Purdue
UNC, Belmont
UNC
UK over Mizzou
Ohio St. over UNC
Ohio State over UK
CHAMPION:
Ohio State-kind of worried about depth in frontcourt, and overall experience level, but I will say this. Jared Sullinger is a special college player, and he didn't come back to lose. They don't have Lauderdale, Diebler, and Lighty back this year, but they have replacement talent, a great coach, guard play, and Buford. With Fab Melo out, and everyone riding FSU's bandwagon, I am taking a team out of what I feel is the toughest region to take it all. Did we all forget they were top 3 for most of the year?? They are legit. First time for Calipari is denied, Mizzou gets experience, the UNC lads have to figure out if they want to try it again, and Vandy is the only thing I am scared of for them actually, and they might get beat by Harvard in the first round.
34) I am out. About to post my picks in the most fun, most skill non-bracket pool there is, and then enter my actual bracket in my work pool. No shepherds. No Brady Quinn. How about this? Onward and upward...may the force be with all of us to enjoy the days in between weekends without tearing up our bracket. Peace.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Watching this Lamar/ Vermont warm-up game...under the weather, but brewing with excitement. Cold is below the neck so no gym to burn it out-therefore, I guess I better rant, right?
1) First of all, I have to give a shout out to Fab Melo. Thank you. Seriously. Of my last couple rounds of picks, Syracuse/ Ohio State was my big unknown. More on this later, but I have picked my one and only bracket, with no huge reservations about my picks. And Fab? You made it a lot easier.
2) Peyton is looking at other teams like Miami, Tennessee, and Arizona for a job, but Denver seems to be the front runner at this point. Four things. 1) I think that I am happy I am in a town that might have some crazy media buzz coming up. I am not a fan, but it seems to be a pretty good fit overall and just sounds fun. 2) Leading me to this point...It would make me SLIGHTLY nervous, as it appears that plugging him into an offense with a solid offensive line, better weather than people think we do, a young, strong defense with great pass rushers, and a solid rushing attack with or without Mr. Tebow would be a much, much better team. And he doesn't violate college chicks. 3) Leading me to this point...if you pick here, Peyton, THANK YOU. End. Tebow. Mania. For the love of ...you know. 4) Is Reggie Wayne still a package deal, or am I reading the wrong rumors column? SIDENOTE: Hey, Madden football, you better wait until this shit settles down before putting Golden Child on your cover. SIDENOTE #2: as much as I hate listening to local sport radio, I heard a tidbit coming back from a work visit in the Springs the other day. In the spirit of Brett Favre working out with MS HS teams back in the day, Peyton Manning was caught throwing balls to ex-Bronco Brandon Stokely in a PARK in CASTLE ROCK (just south of Denver).
3) Hey, Tiger. I get that your torque is probably much higher than your fellow golfers. I get that you try crazy spins from crazy lies, meaning that your body is sometimes contorted. But, GEEZ, man. You get hurt a LOT for a in shape golfer. Have you looked at the fatties playing around you who haven't been hurt in ten years? You BETTER get well before the Masters. Since I have picked you to win like the last 40 tournaments, you HAVE to come through ONE of these times, right?
4) I hear all this crap about how well the committee is doing with their selections overall. That is because we are freaking INCREASING the field every year. We are making it easier on them. Plus, as Charles Barkley says, if you are between teams 60-70 on the radar, you should do less complaining and more winning games. You put yourself in that situation to possibly bitch. Luckily, Iona lost last night, meaning I don't have to advance team BYU/ Iona (two teams with a slash between them) too far into the tournament like last year's people had to do with VCU. Hey, Iona and leading assist man in the country, Scott Machado. TWO assists in the second half...for your TEAM? Not going to get it done, and very odd from your squad. Thanks for laying an egg before I had to turn in my brackets.
5) (Singing) Start spreading the news. Mike's leaving today, He want to be no part of it, New York, New York. D'Antoni "left" the Knicks. Ripple effect? Check out all the things this events does:
-Linsanity is the quickest movement since Tommy Lee Jones in Under Siege
-Melo is once again known as "not easy to coach."
-Phil Jackson is at a temple right now contemplating coming back to the largest US City, non-winners since the early 70's, and HIS old team...storybook...
-John Calipari is getting irritating texts and calls right before the NCAA tourney (can you all let him WIN one with all of his talent before automatically assuming he is anything better than a cheating recruiter?)
-D'Antoni will end up coaching a directional school or the New Orleans Hornets very soon (there is a joke there...look for it)
-Baron Davis is out drinking celebrating that a bad story has not had him in it ONE time this entire time with the Knicks.
6) SOMEONE finally has been watching Bill Russell tape. Fantastic. It is so cool to block a shot into the stands, that players forget it is also kind of cool to retain possession also. DeAndre Jordan. I salute you. Good stuff. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8UWxSXWIkQ
7) Big announcement. I have officially placed Brandon Marshall on my "special team." He survived being picked up in a car by Marcus Vick, and then aced the interview with Sebastian Janikowski. Good job. Ron Artest, Diego Maradona, and others welcome you with open arms. Brandon got traded to another team, AND made the wire RIGHT below THAT headline with possibly hitting a chick at a bar at 3:50am. Good stuff, Brandon. I am bringing you aboard, because now that you are back with your fellow headcase QB Jay Cutler, I am sure there will be LOTS bad to do in Chicago. Do it up, bro, and make sure you get caught.
8) FLOW chart needed, dammit.
-the trade deadline is coming
-Howard will not opt out
-Howard wants to finish SEASON with Magic
-the Magic don't want to trade Howard
-Nets websites selling Howard jerseys online
(These are ALL actual headlines in the last three days)
9) Obama has UNC to win it all. I won't be a hater until the end, Mr. President. We have the exact same Final Four until the last three games. Mr. President, I wasn't working with my UNC loving boss the last time they won it. Can you cut me a break? That would be hell if it happened. Hell. His upside is that he hates Duke, but come on...
10) Speaking of UNC, their football team got hit with harsh penalties this week. Forget what they did wrong. Forget what the penalties are. Isn't it freaking hilarious when a team that sucks gets busted for cheating? I think they should get 2 scholarships back...for sucking at cheating. They are banned 1 year in the postseason. Is there a sound if a tree falls in the forest?
11) Chalk, chalk, chalk. In the ALWAYS unpredictable women's tournament, hmmmm...uhhhhh...I will take Baylor to take it all, with Notre Dame, Stanford, and UConn the other Final Four teams. NO. Change that. I want to live on the EDGE. I will take Duke over Stanford in that region because I think some short superstar from Colorado high school from back in the day plays on their team. I am CRAZY. Cinderella 2 seed.
12) Sighting! Sighting! Today, the Bucks got Monta Ellis and two players for Andrew Bogut and Stephen Jackson. Why is this SO exciting? Forget that Monta Ellis will be lost in the town that is Milwaukee and start watching Laverne and Shirley reruns suddenly. Forget that Stephen Jackson switches teams every 6 months or that we forget that Bogut was a #1 pick. It is all about the SIGHTING. One of the other two players in that trade? Kwame Brown aka the player who literally sunk MJ's owner career. Two players chosen AFTER Brown in that 2001 draft? Tyson Chandler and Pau Gasol. Not groundbreaking, but definitive upgrades. Not as bad as Zeke's Knicks GM career, but not good nevertheless.
13) If ANYONE deserves to get a monster, grossly overpaid contract, it is Calvin Johnson. He is young. He stays healthy. He is the WR version of Shannon Sharpe. And, we know he dresses well from that commercial. Eight years, $132 million. Done and done. Hey, Matthew Stafford, you have no excuses for a long, long time.
14) Perhaps realizing that they are a much better team then their horrible record last year, the Bucs have been the busiest today in the opening of free agency. They get a quality guard in Carl Nicks, a solid CB in Eric Wright, and a waiting for the right situation beast in WR Vincent Jackson. No way they do a repeat of last year. I know ONE Tampa Bay fan. He is a happy camper these days. Shout out, "Florida Swim!" Bet you still can't take me in Golden Tee, bro.
15) I only am basing this off rumors I have read, but I would find it hard to believe that nothing will happen in the next day or two surrounding Dwight Howard, the Lakers/ Pau Gasol, the Bulls, or the Dallas Mavericks.
16) The Saints resign Marques Colston, which means another year of me sitting at the fantasy draft with 2 running backs and 1 QB in the fourth round trying NOT to pick him. Great. Stop spreading around the ball, Drew Brees. Dammit.
17) I like how the Tennessee Titans "hosted" Steve Hutchinson this week. Talk about an obvious ploy to get Peyton. Did you guys tweet it to make sure EVERYONE knew he was in town? Surprised there isn't a building high sign like Kramer's beat the cigarette companies deal.
18) March Madness. And a quiet story concerning one of my flow charts, has surfaced. Sidney Crosby is returning Thursday. That is a perfect plan, Pens. No one will even notice that he returns and then get hurts again because you kept this story so low key. I hope I am wrong about him getting hurt again, just as every hockey fan in the world hopes that I am wrong.
19) Kyle Orton, evidently beaten down by Tebowmania has acknowledged he is a career back-up QB. He signed with the Cowboys today. Good fit. Solid back-up, pretty stadium, and pretty cheerleaders. Side story, the Cowboys released Terence Newman. Guess THAT lock first round pick didn't pan out as expected. Go hang out with Pacman Jones, Terence...at a strip club.
20) I was sad to hear that Derrick Rose was fined for talking about the refs. 25k isn't anything to him, but the guy has stayed above the gray area for his career so far. Don't be THAT guy, Derrick. Your actions on the court already indicate you are going to be an all-timer. Luckily, you didn't have any contact on this dunk for fear of someone being posterized or you getting screwed by the refs: http://www.cbssports.com/nba/blog/eye-on-basketball/17756888/video-derrick-rose-soars-for-a-dunk-against-the-knicks
21) I love when announcers give a stat about how a college team has been there, done that before. I am sure those freshman out there are thinking the same thing. Different era, different teams...only a differently installed "attitude" if you will. Those guys might be high school stars, but they are still kind of scared shitless from the pressure.
22) David Wright had a torn muscle in Mets camp this week. Luckily, the season is only off for about 3 months, and there are 162 games. You will be fine, Mets fans. Well, you will be a healthy underachiever...promise.
23) Randy Moss signs with the 49ers. He had the retirement length of an 80's boxer, is easily one of the best to play his position of all time, and simply has some head "obstacles." No word on whether who he initially worked out with, Coach Harbaugh, will be a player-coach and whether Moss is already mad at Alex Smith, even though he hasn't thrown him a pass yet.
24) Whether each team ever ends up being "tough" enough to ever make noise for the NBA title, the Hawks and Clippers are easily the two most fun teams to watch play outside of OKC and Miami (I am still picking the Bulls, just saying they are not "fun" to watch play). Forget a half time show between the Thunder and Bulls. Just have these two fun teams suit up and dunk away.
25) Bountygate sure got quiet really quick. That is because anyone THINKING about talking is awaiting the penalties by Goodell on the Saints before talking TOO much.
26) Hey, ESPN Top Plays. I know some people are excited about baseball, but can we make a rule that spring game plays are NOT allowed in your top ten. Hitting it to the top of Fenway was pretty cool, but it being a spring game TOTALLY lost my interest.
27) It was fun to have one of my columnist heroes, Bill Simmons, help announce a quarter of the Clippers/ Celtics game the other night. Dude knows his shit, and is like the Dennis Miller of sports with his references.
28) I hear that Tony Stewart did a three wide pass after a restart last weekend. Tony, if you could compare that with what Cole Trickle did in Days of Thunder, and then explain the similarities and differences, I would gladly dig it.
29) The Steelers offered restricted free agent Mike Wallace an offer. No resolution yet, but SHHHHHEEWWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUU.....I was trying to spell a relieved sigh. Not sure if that is right.
30) The Redskins and Cowboys were recently docked cap room. Forget the Cowboys. You are telling me the Redskins, the team who overpays 80% of the players it has had over the last ten years has LESS money? Wow. They might have to resort to actually a building a team through the draft. What? Oh, yeah. Forgot. They just did that ridiculous trade to get to #2 in this year's draft. Talk about the absolute opposite of the OKC Thunder. Wow.
31) Mark Richt was just signed to a new 5 year contract with Georgia football. Mark, meet basketball coach Rick Barnes. Rick, meet Mark. I have NO idea how you don't win a championship with some of your talent, but you guys still are on contract and still have a job. Good job, guys. Aim high.
32) I had a sniffly nose yesterday, as I am fighting something. I was in the mood for Seinfeld. Talk about karma? Comcast only carries four episodes a week for the show, but I went looking for one, and they had it. The Sniffing Accountant. Bingo. Myra had the baby! Same episode.
33) FINAL DRAFT (I only pick one bracket), listed game by game and then into later rounds (there is NO way I will figure out how to paste a spreadsheet in here)
Only major changes from my rough draft breakdown? No Iona, so no upset in first round games. I decided that Michigan would win two games as I am not totally sold on Ohio, and I have Belmont getting crazy in the same region. And Fab Melo being out means my ambiguity is gone in that region. I think Syracuse could lose in second round to K St. Vandy will definitely take them with their inside presence AND outside shooting.
SOUTH:
UK, ISU, Wich St., New Mexico St, UNLV, Baylor, Xavier, Duke.
UK, Wich St., Baylor, Duke.
UK, Baylor
UK
WEST:
Mich St., St. Louis, Long Beach State, Louisville, Murray State, Marquette, Florida, Mizzou
Mich St., Long Beach State, Marquette, Mizzou
Mich St., Mizzou
Mizzou
EAST:
Cuse, K St., Vandy, Wisconsin, Cincy, FSU, WVA, Ohio St.
K St., Vandy, FSU, Ohio St.
Vandy, Ohio St.
Ohio St.
MIDWEST:
UNC, Creighton, Cal/ USF, Michigan, NC St, Belmont, Purdue, KU
UNC, Mich, Belmont, Purdue
UNC, Belmont
UNC
UK over Mizzou
Ohio St. over UNC
Ohio State over UK
CHAMPION:
Ohio State-kind of worried about depth in frontcourt, and overall experience level, but I will say this. Jared Sullinger is a special college player, and he didn't come back to lose. They don't have Lauderdale, Diebler, and Lighty back this year, but they have replacement talent, a great coach, guard play, and Buford. With Fab Melo out, and everyone riding FSU's bandwagon, I am taking a team out of what I feel is the toughest region to take it all. Did we all forget they were top 3 for most of the year?? They are legit. First time for Calipari is denied, Mizzou gets experience, the UNC lads have to figure out if they want to try it again, and Vandy is the only thing I am scared of for them actually, and they might get beat by Harvard in the first round.
34) I am out. About to post my picks in the most fun, most skill non-bracket pool there is, and then enter my actual bracket in my work pool. No shepherds. No Brady Quinn. How about this? Onward and upward...may the force be with all of us to enjoy the days in between weekends without tearing up our bracket. Peace.
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