It's not easy being green...

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


Watching this Lamar/ Vermont warm-up game...under the weather, but brewing with excitement.  Cold is below the neck so no gym to burn it out-therefore, I guess I better rant, right?


1)  First of all, I have to give a shout out to Fab Melo.  Thank you.  Seriously.  Of my last couple rounds of picks, Syracuse/ Ohio State was my big unknown.  More on this later, but I have picked my one and only bracket, with no huge reservations about my picks.  And Fab?  You made it a lot easier.


2)  Peyton is looking at other teams like Miami, Tennessee, and Arizona for a job, but Denver seems to be the front runner at this point.  Four things.  1) I think that I am happy I am in a town that might have some crazy media buzz coming up.  I am not a fan, but it seems to be a pretty good fit overall and just sounds fun.  2)  Leading me to this point...It would make me SLIGHTLY nervous, as it appears that plugging him into an offense with a solid offensive line, better weather than people think we do, a young, strong defense with great pass rushers, and a solid rushing attack with or without Mr. Tebow would be a much, much better team.  And he doesn't violate college chicks.  3)  Leading me to this point...if you pick here, Peyton, THANK YOU.  End.  Tebow.  Mania.  For the love of ...you know.  4)  Is Reggie Wayne still a package deal, or am I reading the wrong rumors column?  SIDENOTE:  Hey, Madden football, you better wait until this shit settles down before putting Golden Child on your cover.  SIDENOTE #2:  as much as I hate listening to local sport radio, I heard a tidbit coming back from a work visit in the Springs the other day.  In the spirit of Brett Favre working out with MS HS teams back in the day, Peyton Manning was caught throwing balls to ex-Bronco Brandon Stokely in a PARK in CASTLE ROCK (just south of Denver).


3)  Hey, Tiger.  I get that your torque is probably much higher than your fellow golfers.  I get that you try crazy spins from crazy lies, meaning that your body is sometimes contorted.  But, GEEZ, man.  You get hurt a LOT for a in shape golfer.  Have you looked at the fatties playing around you who haven't been hurt in ten years?  You BETTER get well before the Masters.  Since I have picked you to win like the last 40 tournaments, you HAVE to come through ONE of these times, right?


4)  I hear all this crap about how well the committee is doing with their selections overall.  That is because we are freaking INCREASING the field every year.  We are making it easier on them.  Plus, as Charles Barkley says, if you are between teams 60-70 on the radar, you should do less complaining and more winning games.  You put yourself in that situation to possibly bitch.  Luckily, Iona lost last night, meaning I don't have to advance team BYU/ Iona (two teams with a slash between them) too far into the tournament like last year's people had to do with VCU.  Hey, Iona and leading assist man in the country, Scott Machado.  TWO assists in the second half...for your TEAM?  Not going to get it done, and very odd from your squad.  Thanks for laying an egg before I had to turn in my brackets.


5)  (Singing) Start spreading the news.  Mike's leaving today, He want to be no part of it, New York, New York.   D'Antoni "left" the Knicks.  Ripple effect?  Check out all the things this events does:
-Linsanity is the quickest movement since Tommy Lee Jones in Under Siege
-Melo is once again known as "not easy to coach."
-Phil Jackson is at a temple right now contemplating coming back to the largest US City, non-winners since the early 70's, and HIS old team...storybook...
-John Calipari is getting irritating texts and calls right before the NCAA tourney (can you all let him WIN one with all of his talent before automatically assuming he is anything better than a cheating recruiter?)
-D'Antoni will end up coaching a directional school or the New Orleans Hornets very soon (there is a joke there...look for it)
-Baron Davis is out drinking celebrating that a bad story has not had him in it ONE time this entire time with the Knicks.


6)  SOMEONE finally has been watching Bill Russell tape.  Fantastic.  It is so cool to block a shot into the stands, that players forget it is also kind of cool to retain possession also.  DeAndre Jordan.  I salute you.  Good stuff.  Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8UWxSXWIkQ


7)  Big announcement.  I have officially placed Brandon Marshall on my "special team."  He survived being picked up in a car by Marcus Vick, and then aced the interview with Sebastian Janikowski.  Good job.  Ron Artest, Diego Maradona, and others welcome you with open arms.  Brandon got traded to another team, AND made the wire RIGHT below THAT headline with possibly hitting a chick at a bar at 3:50am.  Good stuff, Brandon.  I am bringing you aboard, because now that you are back with your fellow headcase QB Jay Cutler, I am sure there will be LOTS bad to do in Chicago.  Do it up, bro, and make sure you get caught.


8)  FLOW chart needed, dammit.  
-the trade deadline is coming
-Howard will not opt out
-Howard wants to finish SEASON with Magic
-the Magic don't want to trade Howard
-Nets websites selling Howard jerseys online
(These are ALL actual headlines in the last three days)


9)  Obama has UNC to win it all.  I won't be a hater until the end, Mr. President.  We have the exact same Final Four until the last three games.  Mr. President, I wasn't working with my UNC loving boss the last time they won it.  Can you cut me a break?  That would be hell if it happened.  Hell.  His upside is that he hates Duke, but come on...


10)  Speaking of UNC, their football team got hit with harsh penalties this week.  Forget what they did wrong.  Forget what the penalties are.  Isn't it freaking hilarious when a team that sucks gets busted for cheating?  I think they should get 2 scholarships back...for sucking at cheating.  They are banned 1 year in the postseason.  Is there a sound if a tree falls in the forest?


11)  Chalk, chalk, chalk.  In the ALWAYS unpredictable women's tournament, hmmmm...uhhhhh...I will take Baylor to take it all, with Notre Dame, Stanford, and UConn the other Final Four teams.  NO.  Change that.  I want to live on the EDGE.  I will take Duke over Stanford in that region because I think some short superstar from Colorado high school from back in the day plays on their team.  I am CRAZY.  Cinderella 2 seed.


12)  Sighting!  Sighting!  Today, the Bucks got Monta Ellis and two players for Andrew Bogut and Stephen Jackson.  Why is this SO exciting?  Forget that Monta Ellis will be lost in the town that is Milwaukee and start watching Laverne and Shirley reruns suddenly.  Forget that Stephen Jackson switches teams every 6 months or that we forget that Bogut was a #1 pick.  It is all about the SIGHTING.  One of the other two players in that trade?  Kwame Brown aka the player who literally sunk MJ's owner career.  Two players chosen AFTER Brown in that 2001 draft?  Tyson Chandler and Pau Gasol.  Not groundbreaking, but definitive upgrades.  Not as bad as Zeke's Knicks GM career, but not good nevertheless.


13)  If ANYONE deserves to get a monster, grossly overpaid contract, it is Calvin Johnson.  He is young.  He stays healthy.  He is the WR version of Shannon Sharpe.  And, we know he dresses well from that commercial.  Eight years, $132 million.  Done and done.  Hey, Matthew Stafford, you have no excuses for a long, long time.


14)  Perhaps realizing that they are a much better team then their horrible record last year, the Bucs have been the busiest today in the opening of free agency.  They get a quality guard in Carl Nicks, a solid CB in Eric Wright, and a waiting for the right situation beast in WR Vincent Jackson.  No way they do a repeat of last year.  I know ONE Tampa Bay fan.  He is a happy camper these days.  Shout out, "Florida Swim!"  Bet you still can't take me in Golden Tee, bro.


15)  I only am basing this off rumors I have read, but I would find it hard to believe that nothing will happen in the next day or two surrounding Dwight Howard, the Lakers/ Pau Gasol, the Bulls, or the Dallas Mavericks.


16)  The Saints resign Marques Colston, which means another year of me sitting at the fantasy draft with 2 running backs and 1 QB in the fourth round trying NOT to pick him.  Great.  Stop spreading around the ball, Drew Brees.  Dammit.


17)  I like how the Tennessee Titans "hosted" Steve Hutchinson this week.  Talk about an obvious ploy to get Peyton.  Did you guys tweet it to make sure EVERYONE knew he was in town?  Surprised there isn't a building high sign like Kramer's beat the cigarette companies deal.


18)  March Madness. And a quiet story concerning one of my flow charts, has surfaced.  Sidney Crosby is returning Thursday.  That is a perfect plan, Pens.  No one will even notice that he returns and then get hurts again because you kept this story so low key.  I hope I am wrong about him getting hurt again, just as every hockey fan in the world hopes that I am wrong.


19)  Kyle Orton, evidently beaten down by Tebowmania has acknowledged he is a career back-up QB.  He signed with the Cowboys today.  Good fit.  Solid back-up, pretty stadium, and pretty cheerleaders.  Side story, the Cowboys released Terence Newman.  Guess THAT lock first round pick didn't pan out as expected.  Go hang out with Pacman Jones, Terence...at a strip club.


20)  I was sad to hear that Derrick Rose was fined for talking about the refs.  25k isn't anything to him, but the guy has stayed above the gray area for his career so far.  Don't be THAT guy, Derrick.  Your actions on the court already indicate you are going to be an all-timer. Luckily, you didn't have any contact on this dunk for fear of someone being posterized or you getting screwed by the refs:  http://www.cbssports.com/nba/blog/eye-on-basketball/17756888/video-derrick-rose-soars-for-a-dunk-against-the-knicks 


21)  I love when announcers give a stat about how a college team has been there, done that before.  I am sure those freshman out there are thinking the same thing.  Different era, different teams...only a differently installed "attitude" if you will.  Those guys might be high school stars, but they are still kind of scared shitless from the pressure.


22)  David Wright had a torn muscle in Mets camp this week.  Luckily, the season is only off for about 3 months, and there are 162 games.  You will be fine, Mets fans.  Well, you will be a healthy underachiever...promise.


23)  Randy Moss signs with the 49ers.  He had the retirement length of an 80's boxer, is easily one of the best to play his position of all time, and simply has some head "obstacles."  No word on whether who he initially worked out with, Coach Harbaugh, will be a player-coach and whether Moss is already mad at Alex Smith, even though he hasn't thrown him a pass yet.


24)  Whether each team ever ends up being "tough" enough to ever make noise for the NBA title, the Hawks and Clippers are easily the two most fun teams to watch play outside of OKC and Miami (I am still picking the Bulls, just saying they are not "fun" to watch play).  Forget a half time show between the Thunder and Bulls.  Just have these two fun teams suit up and dunk away.


25)  Bountygate sure got quiet really quick.  That is because anyone THINKING about talking is awaiting the penalties by Goodell on the Saints before talking TOO much.


26)  Hey, ESPN Top Plays.  I know some people are excited about baseball, but can we make a rule that spring game plays are NOT allowed in your top ten.  Hitting it to the top of Fenway was pretty cool, but it being a spring game TOTALLY lost my interest.


27)  It was fun to have one of my columnist heroes, Bill Simmons, help announce a quarter of the Clippers/ Celtics game the other night.  Dude knows his shit, and is like the Dennis Miller of sports with his references.


28)  I hear that Tony Stewart did a three wide pass after a restart last weekend.  Tony, if you could compare that with what Cole Trickle did in Days of Thunder, and then explain the similarities and differences, I would gladly dig it.


29)  The Steelers offered restricted free agent Mike Wallace an offer.  No resolution yet, but SHHHHHEEWWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUU.....I was trying to spell a relieved sigh.  Not sure if that is right.


30)  The Redskins and Cowboys were recently docked cap room.  Forget the Cowboys.  You are telling me the Redskins, the team who overpays 80% of the players it has had over the last ten years has LESS money?  Wow.  They might have to resort to actually a building a team through the draft.  What?  Oh, yeah.  Forgot.  They just did that ridiculous trade to get to #2 in this year's draft.  Talk about the absolute opposite of the OKC Thunder.  Wow.


31)  Mark Richt was just signed to a new 5 year contract with Georgia football.  Mark, meet basketball coach Rick Barnes.  Rick, meet Mark.  I have NO idea how you don't win a championship with some of your talent, but you guys still are on contract and still have a job.  Good job, guys.  Aim high.


32) I had a sniffly nose yesterday, as I am fighting something.  I was in the mood for Seinfeld.  Talk about karma?  Comcast only carries four episodes a week for the show, but I went looking for one, and they had it.  The Sniffing Accountant.  Bingo.  Myra had the baby!  Same episode.


33)  FINAL DRAFT (I only pick one bracket), listed game by game and then into later rounds (there is NO way I will figure out how to paste a spreadsheet in here)


Only major changes from my rough draft breakdown?  No Iona, so no upset in first round games.  I decided that Michigan would win two games as I am not totally sold on Ohio, and I have Belmont getting crazy in the same region.  And Fab Melo being out means my ambiguity is gone in that region.  I think Syracuse could lose in second round to K St.  Vandy will definitely take them with their inside presence AND outside shooting.


SOUTH:
UK, ISU, Wich St., New Mexico St, UNLV, Baylor, Xavier, Duke.
UK, Wich St., Baylor, Duke.
UK, Baylor
UK


WEST:
Mich St., St. Louis, Long Beach State, Louisville, Murray State, Marquette, Florida, Mizzou
Mich St., Long Beach State, Marquette, Mizzou
Mich St., Mizzou
Mizzou


EAST:
Cuse, K St., Vandy, Wisconsin, Cincy, FSU, WVA, Ohio St.
K St., Vandy, FSU, Ohio St.
Vandy, Ohio St.
Ohio St.


MIDWEST:
UNC, Creighton, Cal/ USF, Michigan, NC St, Belmont, Purdue, KU
UNC, Mich, Belmont, Purdue
UNC, Belmont
UNC


UK over Mizzou
Ohio St. over UNC


Ohio State over UK


CHAMPION:
Ohio State-kind of worried about depth in frontcourt, and overall experience level, but I will say this.  Jared Sullinger is a special college player, and he didn't come back to lose.  They don't have Lauderdale, Diebler, and Lighty back this year, but they have replacement talent, a great coach, guard play, and Buford.  With Fab Melo out, and everyone riding FSU's bandwagon, I am taking a team out of what I feel is the toughest region to take it all.  Did we all forget they were top 3 for most of the year??  They are legit.  First time for Calipari is denied, Mizzou gets experience, the UNC lads have to figure out if they want to try it again, and Vandy is the only thing I am scared of for them actually, and they might get beat by Harvard in the first round.


34)  I am out.  About to post my picks in the most fun, most skill non-bracket pool there is, and then enter my actual bracket in my work pool.  No shepherds.  No Brady Quinn.  How about this?  Onward and upward...may the force be with all of us to enjoy the days in between weekends without tearing up our bracket.  Peace.