And grab some toilet paper. I ain't gonna use no leaves...

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


1. Final Four:
Just generalities, as I was too engrossed in the games to make my usual random notes...


-UL vs Florida:  Teacher beats student.  Mentor beats protege.  Again.  Not that either team was loaded, but Billy Donovan has to be kicking himself this week (aside from the fact he had a big lead with Louisville in foul trouble).  UL is a pretty gritty, but relatively weak Louisville squad in comparison to previous teams.  If he had a chance, this was the one, besides the loaded squads he had in 2006 and 2007.  I will tell you what, people.  I am still confused how big time recruits aren't coming to Louisville to join Pitino AND a traditional power to play.  How is he only getting top 25 recruiting classes?  He will lose to UK, but DAMN, that guy can coach.  I WOULD however be very scared about how loose he is.  He either knows how good a team he about to face, or has a plan.


-UK vs. Baylor: Hello, three NBA lottery picks.  Meet us.  We are minimally 5 lottery picks.  How's it going?  As predicted here a while back in this Rant, the kids at Baylor don't have the guards nor the eye of the tiger to win the big games.  Calipari, you will make the final game, but I think Jared Sullinger will have a few memories for you.  AD.  You are SPECIAL to watch.


-Speaking of Jared, OSU showed the absence of Fab Melo hurt the Cuse.  The Buckeyes couldn't really put them away, but I REALLY like this team.  Between Buford, Sullinger, and Craft, you have three guys who can kill you any night.  Throw in HS scoring machine Thomas, and a couple role players, and I think this squad wins it.  I won't put down the zone, but does anyone else think that Boeheim should tighten his rotation as the season goes on?  Depth is really cool, but you play a freaking zone.  Tighten it up to 7 players when you guys don't have some dude named Carmelo, not Fab Melo.


-KU-UNC: Marshall's absense made them who they are.  They lack fire, they have crazy talent, but sometimes absolutely look lost.  I know Harrison Barnes plays music in his free time, but can you look like for ONE instant like you box or do MMA sparingly.  Take OVER the game.  White looked good in the stat column in Marshall's absence, but you need great guard play in the Elite 8, not good guard play.  Ask Baylor about that.  OR.  As my boss says, their loss in the Elite 8 is TOTALLY the fault of Larry Drew, III.  Google THAT ("larry drew III transferring from UNC").


PREDICTIONS:
My bracket might be a freaking wreck aside from my final game predictions, so I am going to stick with that prediction.  Ohio State beats UK in the final in one of the best final matchups in history.


...AND they win me my office pool and knockout pool coincidentally also.


2.  Ex-Kansas State coach took the job at South Carolina this week.  Ok.  I GET challenges, and if that is the reason, then all the power to you, Frank.  That being said, this in an odd move to me.  A lateral move if you will.  He is going from a team in a Big Six conference that had a little winning while he was there but really doesn't have a tradition of winning, to a school in a Big Six conference that has had some winning here and there but...really doesn't have a winning tradition.  I have only driven through South Carolina, but those present players on that team were seen going to church DURING his press conference, hoping that would help them with the fear of God that accompanies any Frank Martin coached team.  Dude is plain scary.  Then there is the other curiosity for me.  How come southern football programs get a bunch of southern accent good ole boys as  coaches, and southern basketball schools get guys with abrasive attitudes and northeast accents.  Hmmm.  Confused.


3.  Now I read that Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine might have a rift with his GM.  Dude.  Take it EASY.  We are playing spring games.  A week after you call out Girardi, you get into it with the GM.  Wait until the season starts for Pete's sake.  Plenty of time to ruffle some feathers, and I think that ruffling will come to you and that you won't have to seek it out.


4.  I hear that Lamar Odom is "hurt" by recent booing.  Thanks for letting us know, Lamar.  Thanks a lot.  I can sleep better knowing there are sensitive basketball players.  Geez.


5.  Tiger wins, with the Masters upcoming.  I watched most of the last two rounds at commercial breaks in the basketball games.  What is amazing is that Tiger held his own with McDowell making crazy long putts, and putting pressure on him.  This is not just a dude making crazy putts.  This is one of the few guys who took him down one on one, and that list is still relatively small.  Even though I think he could win, I think the bookies are going a little premature by making him the favorite.  You guys know where the money will be placed, but there ARE a couple others out there who DID win in 30 starts.


6.  I just heard John Calipari say on ESPN that it doesn't matter about the close proximity of the two schools playing.  Uhhh.  Einstein.  Let me break this tidbit of news to you.  THAT rivalry existed before you were even born.  It IS about that also.  Stop being above all this shit. Win one, and if you don't this year I will have material for YEARS, and then I will listen a little to you.


7.  US soccer update, because I know you were all DYING for me to comment on this topic.  In case you were wondering how the youth of soccer in the US was doing, and whether the onslaught of US soccer might occur anytime now, stop.  Their Under-23 team needed a win against EL SALVADOR to go to the Olympics.  They let them tie it up in extra time.  REALLY?  That case is now closed for the moment.


8.  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Bama's Nick Saban is a pretty damn good football coach.  The school surprised us all this week.  The school gave him an extension this week. 


9.    This intrigues me.  Read ANY college basketball preseason magazine, and you would have read how either or both UCONN's Jeremy Lamb or UK's Doron Lamb were going to become household names this year.  Neither really blossomed, if you will.  Jeremy was supposed to explode because Kemba Walker went to the NBA.  Doron's case was a little different.  These prognosticators didn't think the UK freshman group was THAT good.  Those youngsters make it a surprise when we even HEAR his name during a game.  One is still in it, and maybe Doron will hit a game winner or something in the next week, but up to this point, I would say they both went "out like a lamb."  He he he.


10.  The Sean Payton/ Bill Parcells drama continues.  Glad I called last time something like this might tease us in my last rant.  Will it happen?  Probably not.  But I WAS right.  It is kind of a fun concept.  Sean says he is just reaching out because Bill is his mentor.  Sure, bro.  You have like 4 days before you have to disappear off the radar from your team.  I am sure you are just asking for fatherly advice.


11.  Speaking of tuna, what is up with catching tuna fish?  Is it that hard?  Are they that scarce?  All I know is that I eat it for my post workout protein boost.  That shit is EXPENSIVE.  And, it keeps going up.  Are they getting faster or smarter?  Is there more labor involved in catching them?  Hurting my wallet, and slightly confused.


12.  Odd take on the Final Four.  What I find interesting is this.  We ALL root for Cinderellas while they are playing a game, and then are a little sad when they exit stage left.  That being said, we cheer up a few moments later, thinking about how we got the two better teams in the next matchup.  All I know is this.  Cinderellas are cool and all, but those Elite 8 matchups were AWESOME because we were left with all solid, not trendy teams.


13.  The NFL has released a stat saying that concussions went down last year about 40% by moving the kickoff yard line 5 yards.  Ok.  Thanks.  Tell me THIS.  I am all about control groups, and the size of them.  How large of control group did you all have?  There can't be THAT many happening every single play.  Just saying.


14.  Hello, Mike Brown.  How you doing, bro?  You need to check something out.  You paying attention, Mike?  Look at your hands.  Any hardware on those bad boys that you didn't buy?  I think not.  You can sit Kobe Bryant after you have a ring.  Dude has 5 rings.  He might be the player, you might be the coach, but unless you want to lose your team this year, do not bench Kobe at the end of the game in crunch time unless he is hurt or fouled out.  Kobe took the high road, but the way to get your ring is not through Metta World Peace.


15.  Seinfeld has an entire episode about cat-fights.  They are cool for the most part-absolutely occur.  That being said, the Baylor-UT fight didn't have the cat-fight luster I would have been hoping for.  Missing something.  Well, at least it ended, and you know how?  The visual of the other chicks seeing Brittney Griner running off the bench, a little over a year from her last knockout of a chick...on the court.


16.  I have heard 44 times.  I have heard 43 times.  Just know it is a LOT.  Evidently, Tebow is excited to be a Jet.  You would expect me to totally take this opportunity to blast him right now.  Oddly, I don't feel the usual hate I feel, and will go another route.  I still hate the movement, just think I am so happy he is out of Denver.  Anyway, two things on this.  One, you can't deny his genuineness.  Sure, sometimes in Denver, he was written or told what to say.  But in this one, he just went up and TALKED.  It was pure, even with 43 different forms of the word "exciting.  The dude is real.  Two, I find it funny that Rex Ryan made an effort to tell the media that he did not alert Sanchez that they were going to pick Tebow up.  I am not splitting the atom here, but something tells me this is going to get a whole lot more exciting before it figures itself out.


17)  The Knicks are cracking me up.  Injuries galore, true concerns about Stoudemire's health, and what do we have?  Carmelo back at peace, doing what he likes to do-not fit in, and take the scoring load on his shoulders and his alone.  I still can't hate you, as you won an NCAA championship, but at some point you have to realize that you can't do this alone...even if you are in the Eastern Conference.


18)  Andy Roddick beat Roger Federer this week.  Why am I reporting this?  Because it is funny.  You will never read that statement if any of the following events are going on: Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, or the US Open.  Well, one time you won one, but talk about a bust...


19)  Alec Baldwin intrigues me.  When Team America was made, they were making fun of his acting I believe.  Now, through other avenues, he is a big time star.  Chicken or the egg.  Could that movie have somehow propelled either the masses or himself to get motivated about liking him?  Or did he just get better?  Confused.


20)  Article I didn't need to open.  "Pats restructure Ochocinco's contract."  No word on whether he just had an awakening that he kind of sucks these days and that the machine he is on is much larger than him and has the hardware which we are pretty sure, but not positive, that he desires.


21)    I found out that a remake of Red Dawn is coming out later this year.  I was excited, until I read the cast and couldn't identify ONE person involved.  It will probably suck.  I will still go and watch it, so I can yell "Wolverines" like a 12 year old at appropriate times.   Here is a dumb conspiracy theory from the 80's.  Whereas Red Dawn might have escalated the Cold War, luckily Rocky IV came out shortly after and stopped it after Rocky's post fight speech.
While on the topic, the 1984 cast:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087985/fullcredits
2012:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234719/




22)  Another year of having my Phillies predicted to possibly win the whole thing, and another year of feeling I need Chase Utley injury live tracking updates on my phone.  Forget Ryan Howard-we can win without him.  We NEED Chase Utley.  Fact.


23)  Aside from the fact the this new movie is made by a big time director, is anyone else interested in Prometheus except for possibly the awesome special effects and possible hot chick nudity?  I think not.


24)  The Giants/ Cowboys are the NFL season opener next year evidently.  Confused of why the Packers weren't chosen (I thought it was usually the last two Super Bowl winners), I figure it just must mean they are playing at Dallas in their fancy stadium.  Only explanation.


25)  The sky is blue, the grass is green, and we saw this coming years ago...actually while he was still playing.  Evidently, Dennis Rodman is having some problems.  Go figure.  That is about as much of a surprise as Floyd Mayweather saying something stupid in the next two weeks.


26)  Apparently, Clips Del Negro has the backing of the owner.  What is the problem here?  I know we are in a shortened season, but they didn't make the playoffs last year.  They are in as of right now.  Let the chemistry grow.  Basketball IS star players, but winning it all has to have chemistry.  It is what the sport is all about.  Making some shots, owning space on the floor before your opponent, getting rebounds, and knowing where your teammates are going to be for the easy score.  It takes time.  If they bow out in the first round, we can revisit if Vinny is the problem.  That will give Phil Jackson TWO places to contemplate coming back to.


27)  Just saying.  Can we just have a Family Guy channel?  If we can't, can we have an adult cartoon station that ONLY plays Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park?  Let's do this.  If I had THAT and ESPN News, I would never watch another new show...ever (I could flip to Seinfeld on TBS-doesn't quite fit on my hypothetical network).  I saw the Amish Guy episode of Family Guy the other night-almost rolled off the couch...as usual.


28)  Boston Red Sox pitcher Bobby Jenks "apologized" for getting a DUI and leaving the scene of an accident.  Thanks, Bobby.  That makes it all better.  Glad you are focused in spring play in a year your team missed the playoffs.  Class-eeeee.


29)  Sure the Pens lost to the Islanders tonight, but notice the Pens won 11 straight as we get closer to the playoffs.  Be VERY scared of them.  What is odd is this.  The Pens loss tonight drops them to the 4th spot.  Highly ranked in the playoff standings or not, NO ONE wants to play the Flyers in the first round.  EVER.  That is just silly and undeserved.  I think the Flyers are ALWAYS the 5th seed just to be coy.


30)  If you would have asked me 100 times, about 99 times I would have said the Capitals would make the playoffs, along with almost anyone on TV.  Whoops.  They are giving this shit away.  Lots of talent wasted in the nation's capital.


30a)  Speaking of the nation's capital, I promised my fraternity brother that I would mention that the Redskins have signed 3 offensive lineman to protect RGIII.  That is important for Skins fans, and I guess he is excited.  Good luck waiting another 2-3 years for you guys to "rebuild."


31)  Well, I think that is it for now.  I am trying again to do shorter rants more often.  Look for one Friday morning when you wake up.  Shame I would have to look up where Brady Quinn is these days, but in his words..."Now, I'm done."  Hooks, lines, and sinkers.  Peace.  Til next time.