Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
1) It is March, people. Maybe you don't absolutely love basketball. Maybe you have just "heard" that Kentucky is pretty damn good. Maybe you don't have any brackets being shoved in your place by co-workers yet. Maybe you don't recognize the directional or acronym schools playing early this week. But. Know this. March Madness has ALREADY started. I have VCU/ Drexel on in the background. Not a big game, aye? I think not. This is an incredible game. So was the Murray State game and Belmont game this weekend. Why? Because of this "bubble" thing. If a team runs the tourney table in their conference and knocks out one of the teams that is already "in," then one of those bubble teams gets knocked out...because the team that wasn't going to make it gets an automatic bid, and then the other favorite squeezes in with a 12 seed. Both teams making it eliminates a team like BYU Northwestern, or Xavier, bigger conference teams on life support. Belmont won and Murray State won, meaning a collective sigh of relief was heard nationwide in those teams locker rooms. Watch this week, people. It is fun. Any bad teams that make a run get in. Bottom line.
2) Odd. Talk about a guy lost on a good team with 3 mega super stars (you are welcome for that comment, Chris Bosh. That is being VERY nice). Mike Miller is averaging .517 from behind the arc this year in the NBA. That is the quietest above .500 plus 3 pt % I remember in a year.
3) One other NBA stat note. I see that Kardashian separatee and Nets player Kris Humphries is 6th in his main category of skills. Looks like he is "rebounding" pretty well from his personal life debacle. The smallest things make me laugh.
4) Statement made. Roar heard, although not as loud in the old days. Tiger Woods still lost the Honda Classic, but his 62 on the final day tells me three things. 1) The excitement still exists when he "does his thing" and makes a patented "move." I don't care what the other players say, a shiver goes down their spine when his name starts moving up the board. 2) The Masters, his home away from home, is right around the corner. Look out, people. Can't see him calmly disappearing into the night that many are saying might be the twilight of his career 3) What I am MOST impressed about is this. Mentally, he is getting it back. Last year, he would have coasted in with a par score because his chances were slim of actually winning. He almost made the impossible happen on the final day, and only because a guy who is trying to take his dominant spot was sitting at #1. We have a GREAT year of golf coming this year.
5) I am interested in how this bounty situation in the NFL turns out. A couple things. 1) I am sad to see ANY bad media come upon the Saints, as they have been the feel good story of the last 6-7 years in the league. 2) I am interested in seeing how involved Gregg Williams is involved in either situation. Insert the pattern cliche I always refer to. 3) Bottom line is this. Old school or not, no one should try and truly hurt anyone on the field, and if it is coming from the coaches, we have a serious problem. Coming from the players? Still not good if trying to hurt people, but if anyone should be trying to keep the game betting under control, it HAS to come from the top.
They can't be the ones instigating the betting OR the violence.
6) The Baylor women's basketball team, and ex-punching in face of other players lady, Britney Griner, just finished the regular season undefeated (41 points the other night for her). I think, women's basketball or not, we would find this more impressive if UCONN hadn't just done this in the last 10 years or so. Similar to the '76 Hoosiers men's team. People were impressed, but UCLA had just done it a few years back. I think the only thing that people were surprised about is that it didn't have a stud like Alcindor or Walton on it.
7) The Oakland Raiders this week announced they are franchising Tyvon Branch. What's that? You don't know who he is? Hell, I might have even misspelled his name. Well, that is where I am going on this hook. No offense to Tyvon, but when you are an organization "franchising" him, it is NOT a good sign of the state of your franchise.
8) I already commented on NASCAR allowing Brad Keselowski to tweet during races. I actually read more about this (astounding that I did this for a NASCAR article, aye?), and found out the following tidbit. Pre-Daytona: 65k followers. Post-Daytona: 200k. Rock on, Brad.
9) In one of my "special" team updates, Sebastian Janikowski was ordered to attend anger management classes after shoving a woman in a club. Word is that the argument was pretty simple. She wouldn't finish a drink he had just bought her and slipped in some date-rape drug stuff. You are getting sloppy, dude. Past your date raping prime. Word is also that he is consulting drug companies to find one that will just work when he slaps them on the butt. He watches a lot of Bourne movies also. You are all class, bro.
10) More on the franchise tag (by the way, to explain it simply, it is a tag a NFL team can put on a guy that denies him offers from other clubs and then pays him money in the same percentile of his performance). Two players making headline noise that didn't want to get franchised, and then one player who made no noise being the class act he is. Ray Rice wanted Chris Johnson money...got franchised ($2 million difference with Johnson's annual average). Brees wanted Peyton money...got franchised ($4 million difference with Peyton). Wes Welker just wanted to "be." He also got franchised. Ex-Pats coach O'Brien, evidently already bored with his new college gig, announced to the media that the play by Welker in the Super Bowl wasn't a drop. I have to disagree on that one as much as I love Wes.
11) Tim Tebow goes out a lot evidently, or is just easily caught by the media when he actually does. A couple weeks after running from Katy Perry at a Super Bowl party, he was seen having a quiet dinner with Taylor Swift. No jokes on this one. Dude still likes chicks, and as little as I know about Taylor, I think that might be a good match. As good as both of them appear to us common folk, I would roll off the couch delirious in laughter if we can EVER get a leaked sex video from those two good two shoes. Paris Hilton. You are on the clock. Get-r done.
12) You might have heard about these astounding Yankees payroll cuts that will be made over the next few years. Crazy stuff, right? Well, if everything goes perfectly according to their "plan," and they get to their targeted number of $185 mil by 2014, then they will be STILL $13 million above the second highest payroll in the league. It is like the movie What about Bob? Baby steps.
13) I think that you should get in the mood for a sandwich, pretend you ran out of sandwich bread, make a turkey and cheese sandwich on a hot dog bun, put a little mustard on it, heat it up for 35 seconds in a microwave, and eat it. Delicious. I make a LOT of my sandwiches on hot dog buns these days. Give it a try. I know it is not exactly splitting the atom, but it might be something you don't think about on a conscious basis.
14) Goalies winning MVP trophies is MUCH different than starting pitchers winning a Cy Young. They play most of the games. Check THIS out. I am surprised still with their overall roster that the New York Rangers are still first in the conference. They are playing great. Let's take a look at the goaltending. I hope Henrik Lundqvist gets a sniff for the Hart Trophy. 31-12 and 1.82 GA. Solid. Is HE the reason that they are where they are though? When he takes an occasional game off, how is his backup goaltender, Martin Biron, doing? 11-3. Solid backup. I didn't mention his GA average, because it is oddly 2.20. Whatever. The point still holds water.
15) Andy Murray beat wrecking ball Djokovic in a tournament recently. Uhhh. Hey, Andy. I know you are just padding your perennial #4 it seems ranking, but how about pulling one of these great performances in...a Grand Slam event. That would be crazy.
16) I got a shorter nap this weekend on Saturday. I was watching Louisville/ Syracuse. Syracuse beat them soundly, but YOU try turning off a Louisville game. You go do some errands, take a nap, and turn back on the TV and find out about some MAD comeback from Louisville. I sat up and watched the boring game. Bottom line is this. Rick Pitino has a philosophy. It works. But no matter what college he is coaching or what lineup is out there, if you go 2-23 from the 3 pt line in his system, you will not do well, against the #2 team in the country or not. But you make fans get shorter naps.
17) Tattoo might get the honor of the first release from the new VH album, but check out "Blood and Fire." I like it significantly better than the rest of the other tracks after my weeks of listening time.
18) Speaking of blowout games that you still can't stop watching because of a particular team's "spurtability," here are my random thoughts on the ass-kicking that was UNC/ Duke:
-the opening of the game, where UNC definitively looked like the better team, was a clear indicator of Duke's reliance on the three pointer, and their lack of athleticism. Live by the outside, die by the outside. Oh. And have some athletes on your team and a point guard that believes in the system. Stop dribbling, Austin.
-Harrison Barnes showed me in this game, that although he seems way to polite to be playing the game, that is was the most NBA ready player on the floor. He is learning to show aggresiveness. No one can truly stop him, so the only thing that can stop him...is himself.
-the amount of charges called in this game was ABSURD. Sure, you have two smart clubs playing, and sure, the rule is a little off from accurate. But. At one point, there were 10 TO's, with 7 of them being charges (an offensive charge is actually counted as a turnover along with a foul). And most of the calls were by the same freaking ref. Odd. Did you not get laid, that morning, Mr. Ref?
-As I watched the multiple "senior nights" this weekend, I was amazed how pretty much every one was a blowout enough to allow the coach to exit their seniors with fanfare...AND allow each team's version of Rudy to enter the game. Even UNC/ Duke.
-although their home arena is just downright scary to win at, Duke has not been dominant at home this year. They should be glad they are playing on neutral floors from here out.
-Roy Williams's system calls for 4 players regularly going for rebounds. It was clear that Duke players, especially the guards, were not used to this.
-I kept seeing the Mio commercial where a cheetah and a gazelle were drinking at a bar. In a predator/ prey relationship, how could they be allowed to drink together, water additive or not? Even if you have fake animals in commercials, I need a premise, people, that works.
-Why doesn't Duke smack the floor anymore when they are setting up their defense? Is it patented? Is that how Bobby Hurley is making his dough these days? It was badass and cool, no matter HOW much I dislike Duke. Bring it back, youngsters. Plus, it might actually GET you to play defense.
-I can imagine a father/ relationship is pretty cool, but when the f^%$ does Doc Rivers work? The NBA is in full season, the Celtics are not exactly on record pace, and Doc Rivers is at every freaking Duke game. You must have one FAST jet, Doc, hopefully with game tape and shit you should be doing in the plane's cabin.
-One of the reasons Duke made a little comeback was because of UNC's system. They tried to slow down their offense and did not look one bit comfortable. UNC might be a team where you just say "you are good enough. Just keep running them out of the gym, guys." By the way, it brings another point into play. Some people watch a team come back, get to within 11 after being down 26, and then say "wow. If he just could have made that 3 ptr when they were down 11." Do you know HOW tiring it is coming back from 26 down? You basically get down 10 or so, and then have to suck it up and make ANOTHER huge comeback. Exhausting.
-Not only did Marshall have a great stat line, but he made at least 3 DEFLATING shots when Duke might have gotten a pulse. The shots were from far away, too. No, the story is not THAT good. They were FAR from swishes. Not pretty at all, actually. But they worked. This is ONE guy on a loaded team that WILL come back for his junior year.
-The prominence of early charge calls got a lot of players in foul trouble. On either side, it unfortunately affected the quality of play. More for Duke though, since they were the team who dug themselves a hole.
-Carolina has height. We know that. Henson rebounding. Big time. That being said, I think that the Tar Heels having a 6'7" off guard as a backup pays HUGE dividends...against anyone. Reggie Bullock. Whenever you decide to go to the next level, I am pretty sure you have a job.
-a stat that STILL floors me. As great and as evenly matched this rivalry is, I truly can't believe that all through the years, they have NEVER met in the actual NCAA tourney. Wow. Tell your friends.
-As irritating as Dick Vitale can be announcing any non-UNC or non Duke game, he better do EVERY UNC/ Duke game til I die. He just bleeds this rivalry. Combine that energy with the cool, young Hubie Brown expertise (and ex-Dukie) of Jay Bilas, and you have magic in the air.
19) I am watching the WCC version of MJ vs. Karl Malone. Gonzaga vs. St. Mary's. As good as St. Mary's is every year, and even with that little run in the tourney they had a couple years ago, they still can't ever shake Gonzaga. Not quite their bitch, but relatively close nevertheless. They would be household names if it wasn't for having to get a freaking at large bid every year after losing to Gonzaga in the WCC final.
20) Danica Patrick finished 21st in the Nationwide race this weekend. No crash, Danica. Good job. Baby steps, and I will be VERY reactively tracking your progress...as that Daytona thing is now over. Call me when you turn right. Actually, Danica, you can call me anytime, right turn or not.
21) Bobby Knight made a great comment during a game this weekend. He said the definition of a bad pass is a chance pass that has nothing to gain from it. If you would not significantly improve someone else's scoring chance, and then turn it over, then it is a bad pass. I related it to Golden Tee, my only video game addiction. When I am showing someone how to do a shot, I frequently say "if it doesn't gain you a stroke overall, then it is not worth the chance, no matter what club you are approaching the green with." That parallel totally works.
TOTAL side note for any of you other GTEE players. In the new version, there is a par 5 that circles all the way around ridiculously..meaning there has to be a chance trick shot. I hit it the other day on the beach perfectly, with 17 mph wind blowing the ball away from a cliff and into the water, and with a BEAUTIFUL shot at the green. It gave me an unplayable lie. BULLSHIT. Since when can't I hit off the freaking beach??
22) For those of you doubting Dirk's return to form (after taking evidently a little too much time relaxing this summer), he had 40 the other night. Snake in the grass. Oh, and in his "look at me, Dwight" non verbal sell job, Deron Williams had a common man 57 points the other night. Dude. You are a stud. We know. I don't know about Dwight, the rest of NBA fans, or the people who are in a bubble world on the Chris Paul bandwagon, but I sure as hell haven't forgotten how badass you are.
23) Oddly enough less than a week after ex- teammates remembered Gary Carter, Lenny Dykstra got sentenced to 3 years in prison for auto theft. Seriously, if you don't think Gary Carter SERIOUSLY kept a bunch of oddballs focused amazingly. LOOK at that freaking lineup, then match up arrested athletes over the last 30 years. Flow chart it to me. Good job, Gary. Word is that John Kruk had to do the same thing with "Nails" in Philly, but he drank enough to help his patience.
24) In my favorite public experience of the week, I heard this. I was talking about college basketball, when someone decided to interject themselves into our conversation. They said, "oh yeah, did you see that MSU game?" I was confused because I was discussing the Mizzou team, not any MSU team. Weird. Know what you are talking about before saying you are from Missouri and then calling them MSU. Or drink a lot less.
25) Tell your friends. Rajon Rondo posted 18. 17, and 20 this week. Third player in NBA history to post better than 15,15, and 20 in a game. Others? Wilt and the Big O. He is also only the third player to post a 15-15-15 line in the last 25 years. Others? Magic and Kidd. Funny, Rajon is the only person on this list who in the trade rumor section like EVERY single week since after his rookie season.
26) Two quick things about the blog in general. If you notice grammatical errors in it, it is because of this. I am absolutely DRAINED after writing this stream of consciousness, and have too much work to do to go back and perfect it. I used "pour" wrong last week. I am not stupid. I promise. I have a college degree. This is a true stream of consciousness, and Google has some ghetto version of grammar checks in comparison to Outlook. So, bear with me on this. Deal with my mistakes. If I get famous, I promise to hire an editor. Second, this is a trivial example of how dedicated I am to this blog. I forgot to get laundry quarters this weekend. Tonight is laundry night. Knowing I have to get this ridiculously long Rant in the time allotted, I refused to go out and get quarters. Instead, I am washing the "needed" items in my bathtub. As Dennis Leary once said, you have to have goals. That is dedication, people.
27) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and my "special" team is totally BADASS. Another "special" team member made an appearance this week. Floyd Mayweather, the most famous person evidently without a media person, was on TV with Bob Costas. When Costas asked him about white NBA players, Costas came back with Nash and Nowitzki. Floyd YELLED "German," and "Canadian." Classic. Floyd, you are just simply classic.
28) Which of these do not belong? Bills sign Stevie Johnson, Texans sign Arian Foster, Seahawks sign Marshawn Lynch, and Colts sign Robert Mathis. All good signings (crappy teams keeping a little talent to make their fans think they are trying). But know this. I don't think we will see the time anytime soon where the Texans don't have Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, or Arian Foster. They would pull a Gene Hackman, start those three, say "my team is on the floor," and mean it before giving up any of those guys.
29) The NCAA rankings are now equalizing as we enter March Madness. UK and Syracuse. Love them. Carolina is now up to #4. Like them. Not a believer in Missouri, Kansas, or Duke. Give me Ohio State, Michigan State, or some random school like Creighton or Wichita State as my final play (even WITH Creighton's OT barely win against Illinois State). You don't who Doug McDermott is? You will. You will.
30) I watched some of the Knicks/ Celtics game the other day. Watching a smart guy like Lin turn it over is absolutely painful. He HAS to learn that you can't wait to pass it WHEN you get into trouble. These guys are too good. You have to anticipate, bro. That is what makes the great...great.
31) After my little pickles/ cucumber confusion a couple months ago, not sure if I should admit this, but me being me, I will anyway. I find it odd that I am horrified of black and green olives, like things with olive oil on them, but am not totally sure if that is weird or not. Are they the same thing? Different? Am I eating something that is the oil from what I am scared of? I will NOT look this up. Never. Confused.
32) Now that the Syracuse child abuse charges have settled down a bit, they evidently are bored also. Seems they are imposing penalties on themselves for unspecified drug violations on their basketball team. I like Boeheim a LOT. I hope these are minor, and I hope he had nothing to do with these charges.
33) Derrick Rose was ready tonight to pay back the Pacers for celebrating on his home floor after the win their last game. Dude, you have an MVP. You have the world in front of you. Let those kids, who are slowly rising in the East, have their fun. They might be a tough matchup in the playoffs, but you will take them in the end, and they have sucked for a long time. Be easy on them. Word is the only thing that sucks in the Pacers locker room is the fact that they might not get a lottery pick this year. That is what we call...baby steps.
34) I watched The Edge again this weekend. I LOVE that movie. In my odd rankings of movies that have talent in the cast but were for some reason not accepted by the masses on a large scale, I will say that my top 3 off the top of my head are the following:
1) The Score
2) The Edge
3) Spy Game
35) I got a look at Charlie Weis at a basketball game over the weekend. Without crossing the line by elaborating, may I just say that they must be in love, because his wife is not bad looking for an older chick. I should just move on. Now.
36) Continuing one of the bigger letdowns of the college basketball season besides Xavier and Vanderbuilt, Baylor lost to Iowa State over the weekend. Whatever they end up as a seed, I would steer FAR away from playing Iowa State. Their big negative thing coming into this season was that they were a bunch of talented transfers who might not have chemistry in time to make a run. They are quietly hitting their stride, people. Put me down for at least one surprise from them in the tourney.
37) You can make a case for UCONN to make it or not to. Here is my conspiracy theory. They are subconsciously making a run at being the highest seeded preseason team to barely make the tourney and face a #1 seed in the second or third round. If I am the heavyweights, I do NOT want to see Andre Drummond and future top 5 draft pick in the tourney. Not Calhoun. Nor cheater Ryan Boatright. Not rising Roscoe Smith. None of the above.
38) The Avalanche are an enigma wrapped in a puzzle. They have relative talent. They have a good coach. This week, they couldn't score a GOAL against the worst team and worst defensive team in the league, Columbus. Then, looking to rebound, they get down 4-0 to Pittsburgh at HOME this weekend. Pittsburgh is good, sure. But you have to at least put up a fight at your own crib if you consider yourself a playoff team.
39) Missing some talent, sure, but it will be weird not having Butler in the NCAA tourney this year. They had to win their tournament anyway, but getting smoked by 19 by Valparaiso doesn't exactly help your cause.
40) Who is the only school from a Big Six conference to never make the tourney? Northwestern. SO rooting for them to get in. They are presently a bubble team, and would benefit themselves by winning one, maybe two games in the conference tournament. Plus, along with telling the world who Creighton's Doug McDermott is, it would be nice if fans got to see this guy John Shurna play. Fans are missing out.
41) Harvard is projected to make it right now into the tourney. Put them on my short list of low seeded teams you don't want ANY part of.
42) I think Rick Barnes is a kangaroo with a pouch cleverly disguised as a human...because I have NO idea what he does with all of those top 5 and top 10 recruiting classes he gets.
43) I would like to go have beers with Doug Gottlieb. Dude looks like he would just be really fun after a few, with basketball knowledge hidden behind a personality that doesn't appear overly likable. Sounds like a good night. Maybe not Charles Barkley night, but still fun.
44) Do I have to join Sam's Club to find big squeeze bottle Mayo containers? I have to try and save, and I like mayo on my non-hot dog bun sandwiches, but they only have the smaller squeeze containers. Help a brother out. Also, on another grocery store note, I LOVE cheese. I look for the specials on lower fat cheese because of this addiction. I GET that it is harder to make cheese lower fat, but does it have to be THAT much more expensive? I am trying to be good. You cheese people are robbing me and making me spend even more time at the gym.
45) The West Virginia/ South Florida game was the Big Six version of "bracket busters." Bracketbusters are games set 3 weeks before the end of the season for mid majors to give them a definitive win against their own comparable kind. Well, WVA and USF both are on the bubble. They played this weekend. WVA won. Unless USF makes a run in the Big East tourney, they will be free a week and some change from now.
46) Speaking of making their fans think they are trying, the Padres signed CF Maybin to 5 years and $25 million. No word yet on what other conceivable talent will join him, but give them an A for effort in this deal. Of course, since San Diego is my favorite place on earth even after a broken engagement, maybe Maybin just really likes PB and Mission Bay. Hey, Maybin, if you rent the Wave Runners from Mission Bay, make sure it is a low kelp day. You will get why I am saying this if you rent one.
47) MLB officially approved the extra wild card in each league. Ugghhh. Wrong move, Bud. You had me at hello, now it is time to say goodbye.
48) Red Sox Jason Varitek retired this week. Talk about a guy who doesn't ever have to worry about his legacy. If I were him and still hanging out in the Boston area, I would tape record myself saying "I got you two championships. Take it easy," for every single negative conversation that could occur in the Northeast region over the next 30 years.
49) I have this weird new habit. I name snow. People at work laugh at me, but then immediately contribute. Here are some examples (you had to be there-it was semi-funny):
-polite snow
-indecisive snow
-frenzied snow
You get the idea. I know. It is not that funny.
50) San Diego State lineman Dontrell Onuoha got charged with beating a fraternity guy's ass at a party. I am surprised this doesn't happen more often, to be honest. I went to college. I was an athlete before college. I was a frat boy. Mix in chicks and alcohol, a frat boy's home base where he has pledges preaching their allegiance, and a much larger college athlete, and I think there would be a fight every week. We know 40%, people, of what the media tells us.
51) You play in the NBA. Sure, there are big time athletes, and sure, this was a great show of effort. But. Anytime I see the free throw shooter rebound and score on their own FT miss, I can't believe that any team would let that happen. There are rules we basketball players learned as 8 year olds. Regardless, good job, Nuggets Kenneth Faried.
52) Andrew Bynum announced before the Lakers/ Heat game that "he wouldn't go after Dwayne Wade." Uhhh. Kind of tough to "go after" someone in the NBA. Andrew, you already got docked games for losing your head in your lost series to Dallas for a flagrant foul at the very end. No need to ALERT the media that you can sometimes be an idiot. We know, bro.
53) Kobe Bryant has announced he "has had not rivals." Shut up, Mask-Mamba. Forgive me if I am wrong, but I think that in odd years, the Spurs won a couple. Forgive me if I am wrong, Dirk took you down last year. Forgive me I am wrong, but the Heat and your ex-teammate squeezed one in. MJ still wins in the conversation involving best player of the last 20 years. He also doesn't say stupid shit like that, only lost when he was playing baseball, and doesn't cheat on his girl (uhhh. well, he didn't get caught at least). Be quiet.
54) Wichita State lost this weekend. Don't let that change your feelings when picking your bracket. No pun intended (their mascot is "shocker"), but they will shock SOMEONE this year.
55) ESPN Mag, you are no Sporting News, but your "analytics" issue rubbed me the right way. It was all about odd stats, numbers, and obscure players. I read it VERY quickly, and now am waiting on the new one, which I think I still am a good 10 days out from.
56) Reeves Nelson has refuted accusations about the partying and losing the team at UCLA basketball. And OJ didn't commit murder, bro. Come on.
57) Blog schedule. It gets crazy over the next few weeks. I have decided I have to do two mini-Rants during the basketball days, and then can do a full Rant on Mondays still when nothing is going on. Starting this week, look for mini-Rants every other day through the conference games and first 2 weeks of March Madness (starting Thursday most likely). Normal rant on Monday. Then, I will be back to regular Thursday/ Monday schedule. Enjoy the conference tournaments. I have to go study Seinfeld for my big contest on Wednesday night. As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am going to get the flock out of here. Peace.
57a) This Karl Malone/ MJ/ Gonzaga/ St. Mary's game is fantastic. In OT as I close this. And. St. Mary's just won. Guess that totally nullifies my Karl Malone/ MJ hook. Damn.
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