I think that the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5.

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


SCHEDULE NOTE:
After much deliberation while staring at my absolutely clogged schedule with work and basketball (I do Herschel Walker home workouts for the most part during March), I have a solution.  I have been doing Mondays and Thursdays for a while now.   That obviously can't happen this month.  Thursdays are basketball monopolized, and Mondays will probably be somewhat catching up on all daily things I will be ignoring watching basketball.  So, I will have this approach. As far as telling everyone that a new blog is out, I am going dark.  Of my friends and co-workers, if you read it and liked it, you will keep reading it.  If you read it by now, and didn't like it, you are ignoring my "ads" anyway and maybe just clicking on the link to see what 80's reference I have in the background.  I will just write when I have a few things on my mind, and can squeeze some time in between games.  I will not save up and write 70 hooks.  I will just post one when the time is right...maybe every other day or so.  I used to write these back in the day when I had only ten people total reading these, so I am sure I will still have plenty to say with whoever keeps with it.  After March Madness, I will go back to normal rants, unless I like the mini rant method better. 


Let's get to tonight's...it is 7pm.  Whether done or not, I will conclude at 9pm.


1)  Starting with a "I almost fell off the couch" (because it was crazy) AND "Top Gun" (because the roles in the highlight were inverted) hook, check out the block BY Kyle Korver ON LeBron James.  It is not actually an earth-shattering block, but just read that statement again.  "BY Kyle Korver ON LeBron James..."  Yeah...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLnaYIqtwNY


2)  Alternating with Elway supporting Tim Tebow every 2.6 weeks in my calculation, another every 2.6 week story occurred this week.  "Sidney Crosby is cleared for contact."  I know you were losing sleep over his present status.  I am here for you.  Also, remember.  I am only laughing at the status updates of Crosby not his comeback itself, as not many people want him back on the ice more than me.  As I have said before, I never want to have to use Sidney Crosby and Bo Jackson in the same sentence in the future.  Get better, bro.


3)  SPEAKING of Mr. Elway... Wow, did I bust out a grin yesterday.  Admittedly, there are not many people on this planet that is earth that are more tired of Tebow than me.  With all of those backing statements previously of the lad, had the AV crew even turned off the microphones on Manning's good-bye speech before it was announced that Denver was reaching out to Manning?  LOVE it.  This is brilliant.  Although people would be crying in this town, I can only think of about 3 or 4 QB's that people wouldn't bitch about bringing into the starting role instead of Tebow...and Peyton is damn sure one of them.  Maybe Taylor Swift is pulling the strings in this play.  Where does she live?  Put whatever that city is in the conversation of where Timmy could go.


4)  Seriously, if you get a chance to catch Peyton's good-bye speech, do it.  I will steal an email that was written to Colin Cowherd's radio show the other day.  If you hear an all-timer saying good-bye and he mentions his equipment manager, pretty sure that all timer is a quality dude.


5)  I hear Mike Brown "wants Kobe in the MVP race."  Thanks, Mike.  That is freaking deep.  I am quite positive there is no cut-off to be on any list to win that award, the season is not over, and OHHH...Kobe is a future Hall-Of-Famer.  Mike, you can hype no-namers and young players for things like defensive teams and 6th men (what?  you don't have any of those, Mike?), but I don't think he needs your help on this one to be on the radar.


6)  Jason Kidd has come out saying that refs don't respect the Mavs.  Now, it has come out that he is being fined for those comments.  Jason, settle down.  You got your ring, and I have a conspiracy theory for you.  You, Dirk, and Vince don't move as fast as you used to.  Refs are confused, because when they watch you guys move, it is like watching a play in slow motion.  You would think that this would help them, but it is just throwing them off.  What?  That theory sucks? I know.  It does.  Stop bitching about the refs so I can stop trying to make jokes about you.


7)  Weird to have Johan Santana pitching again, and we missed you, bro.  Keep in mind, folks, that he is 133-69 overall as a pitcher with some miles left.  He was only 11-9 two years ago, but he had a 2.98 ERA two years ago before his surgery on a shitty team with no run support.  His fans might be worried about him throwing 87-88 mph in his first spring ball start, but I think that velocity will go up slowly.


8)  Seriously, Lionel Messi?  You MUST read my blog.  I have occasionally laughed at some experts picking you 1st in a hypothetical all time draft with present and past players.  I think Pele or Diego Maradona should be there.  Anyway, I suppose right after reading one of my last blogs (HAS to be that), dude goes out and does WHAT??  He becomes the first ever Champions League player to score FIVE goals in ONE game.  Lionel, good job, and I will just move on before trashing anything on this subject...


9)  The Miami Heat are grabbing most of the headlines out East with them finally starting coming together as a team.  The Bulls are getting much love too with a win streak of their own recently.  Quietly, the OKC Thunder are winning 13 straight home games out west.  Can you believe the oldest player in their core talent group is TWENTY THREE years old???  What a team they are grooming out there.


10)  I hear that Randy Moss impressed in workouts for the Saints.  I am sorry.  Did anyone ever really have a problem with his speed, power, or skills?  Dude has ALWAYS been a stud.  I believe the main things we question are his smarts, his desire, and his motivation.  Would he be another weapon in an already potent offense?  Sure.  But I would have one LONG conversation with him over a couple DAYS to see if that noggin is screwed on right.  He retired and came back quicker than most boxers.


11)  Most of you know I think Kevin Love is not hype, and totally legit.  He won't be a homebody like Blake Griffin on the top plays, but dude can flat out ball.  Check out these stats from two consecutive games this week.  39-17, and 42-10.  Actually, let me expand that second one, because it only gets better.  42 points, 10 rebounds, 4 assists, and 0 turnovers.  Wow.


12)  I always laugh when a star athlete doesn't just piss off one person or group of people, but a WHOLE CITY.  To add insult to injury, this one is messing with a city from the northeast.  NOT a good idea, Jonathan Papelbon.  Papelbon has denounced Boston this week, saying Phillies fans are smarter than Boston fans.  Dude.  First of all, I would like to know the size of your control group.  What?  You don't know what a control group IS?  Keep throwing heat, man, and be quiet. 


12a)  This has NO parallel to my last point whatsever, but speaking of the northeast and smart people, this is just SUCH a great freaking scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymsHLkB8u3s


13)  Evidently, better technology doesn't just make uglier cars.  It also covers footwear.  Check out THIS concept  ("feel free to insert your own joke" hook): http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/06/adidas-releases-cowboyboo_n_1325033.html


14)  "Article I didn't even need to open to know the story AND laugh" hook.  "Jose Canseco possibly doping in Mexican League."  We are going to be on our deathbed, and this guy will be playing baseball, writing books, and doping somewhere.


15)  I don't eat burgers that often, but when I do, I appreciate them and have to be in the mood for them.  I had one today at lunch.  I don't have a lifetime ranking system for burgers, but it was the best one that I remember.  If you are ever in the Denver Highlands (mile west of Coors Field), go here and order the Tap Burger:  http://highlandtapdenver.com/


16)  In Bountygate or whatever you want to call it, Anthony Hargrove has said his late hit on Favre a couple years ago had nothing to do with any bounty.  He didn't seem to cover anything close to the topic about how he was dancing and yelling "Favre is out of the game" after the play.  You should go out and hire a PR person.  QUICKLY.


17)  "Being the guy" is evidently pretty important to Dwight Howard per a recent interview.  That is great, Dwight.  First of all, not sure if you have looked in the mirror and then looked around the league, but I don't think that is going to be a problem wherever you go.  Second, I guess I am happy you are not trying covertly to form a dream team like so many other stars these days, but any thoughts on actually winning?  You DO realize that a starting five has to have...well, a starting five, right?


17a)  Speaking of forming dream teams in the NBA, which I hate, check out this thought by Charles Barkley in an article about how Chris Paul is so "friendly" with so many other NBA players.  He hangs out with them, tweets, texts, etc.  Charles Barkley, talking about his rivals, said "I didn't want to play WITH them.  I wanted to BEAT them."  Well said as always, buddy.  You are seriously the shit.  If I had to pick five people, living or dead, to go out on the town with, I think I would pick these:
-Dr. Dre
-Charles Barkley
-Hunter S. Thompson
-Jimmy Buffet
-Frank Sinatra
(I realize there is only one sports guy in this group.  I am picking a fun freaking night, not conversation)


18)  I hear Auburn basketball's alleged point shaving scandal has picked up steam and is being looked at by the FBI.  I think this might exist, but I think it is just a good way of deflecting how much money you paid Cam Newton to come there.


19)  No, I didn't win at Seinfeld trivia last night.  Tied for 3rd out of 44 teams.  I didn't even check to see if we got a certificate as I was too bummed.  Who beat us?  Considering I had Michael Jordan AND Larry Bird on my team (he was kind of distracted though for some reason), I would say we got beat by these teams:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://iphone5latest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/iphone5.jpg&imgrefurl=http://iphone5latest.com/&h=339&w=420&sz=29&tbnid=lfsqOrTIqjKgOM:&tbnh=89&tbnw=110&zoom=1&docid=O0R2OdFphl8bSM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=T35ZT6zSMsj3sQKM4oy8DQ&ved=0CEsQ9QEwAg&dur=487

and:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2765/4334862666_b18f30ed50.jpg&imgrefurl=http://ipadschools.wikispaces.com/&h=282&w=500&sz=55&tbnid=2rWCl-2l399rWM:&tbnh=88&tbnw=156&zoom=1&docid=WpGlTkVH7RxWhM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=in5ZT4mtC6yHsAKa_IHTDQ&ved=0CIMBEPUBMA4&dur=317


19a)  I think it is ridiculous that a 6 MAN team gets asked the question of what actresses played Jerry's girlfriend by audio.  I am not good at actresses names.  When I see a hot chick on the screen, I always say "oh, she was that chick who starred in____________"  Anyway, we actually survived that one.  8 rounds with 8 questions each, we miss freaking 4 questions.  For one, we had to know who climbed Mount Everest.  Another, I had to know who the hell Amanda Peet was.  Where the f%^& is his address, or Kramer's phone number???  And another, we had to guess what episodes were the favorites of the masses according to IMDB.  How the hell should I know THAT?  WE got contest and soup nazi.  Opposite was the third one.  Notice in my Seinfeld rankings where I have opposite:

THE	RANKINGS	preliminary
RANK	EPISODE	YEAR
1	The Secret Code	1995
2	The Hot Tub	1995
3	The Sniffing Accountant	1993
4	The Rye	1996
5	The Contest	1992
6	The Marine Biologist	1994
7	The Library	1991
8	The Fix-Up	1992
9	The Deal	1991
10	The Switch	1995
11	The Mango	1993
12	The Outing	1993
13	The Soup Nazi	1995
14	The Red Dot	1991
15	The Little Jerry	1997
16	The Bizarro Jerry	1996
17	The Opposite	1994
18	The Boyfriend Part 1	1992
19	The Puffy Shirt	1993
20	The Junior Mint	1993
21	The Frogger	1998
22	The Chicken Roaster	1996
23	The Merv Griffin Show	1997
24	The Abstinence	1996
25	The Andrea Doria	1996
26	The Nap	1997
27	The Jimmy	1995
28	The Gynmnast	1994
29	The Pick	1992
30	The Dealership	1997
20		1994.275862
	AVERAGE YEAR-PRIME TIME
HONORABLE MENTION	The Face Painter	1994
	The Race	1994
	The Chinese Woman	1993
	The Cigar Store indian	1993
	The Smelly Car	1995
	The Beard	1994
	The Hamptons	1997
	The Voice	1991
	The Revenge	1991
	The Tape	1995
	The Wink	1995
	The Pool Guy	1995
	The Stake-Out	1990
	The Fusilli Jerry	1995
	The Limo	1992
	The Doorman	1995
	The Phone Message	1991

20)  The sky is blue, the grass is green, and the Rams are trading their #2 pick.  Word is that they are talking with the Browns.  Good luck with THAT, Robert Griffin, and can't wait for you to meet James Harrison and Troy Polamalu.  I think they will be Seinfeld "close talking" you.


21)  Danny Ainge has said there is "nothing close to a Celtics trade."  Thanks for the info, bro.  If you wouldn't announce every other week for the last 3 years that you were interested in trading Rajon Rondo, you probably wouldn't even be bothered about this.


22)  D'Antoni has said he is sticking with Jeremy Lin.  Melo has said it is an adjustment playing with Lin.  Baron Davis is oddly quiet.  Is it me, or does being a fly on the wall in the Knicks' locker room just sound like a fun day?


23)  (Chuckling while writing this)  Big news.  The Jags franchised Josh Scobee, and the Bucs franchised Connor Barth.  Are NFL kickers THAT hard to find?  Weird that fantasy football players release them like nothing on bye weeks, and clubs are saying that they absolutely NEED them.  Of course, in these two cases, since there aren't too many touchdowns in the immediate future, guess you better maximize that kicking field goal aspect of the game.


24)  NCAA notes (I will take it easy on you since the next group of rants will be OVERLOAD on bball most likely):


-Joe Lunardi and I BOTH can't find a time where the winner of a Big Six conference hasn't made the NCAA tournament.  Well, there is a first for everything, right?  Washington wins the Pac-12.  They lose in their conference tourney in the first round to lowly OSU.  That is it for me.  That entire conference BLOWS, and I say leave them all out of it.  I know.  We can't, because SOMEONE will win the damn Pac-12 tournament, but it doesn't hurt to dream of watching good basketball.  


-Seriously, what is wrong with Illinois?  Are they all professional and on contract and waiting for their coach to get fired?  It is sad to see a group of college kids just give games away.


-Syracuse stopped any UCONN magic this year in the Big East tourney.  UCONN's win at WVA probably snuck them in, and I am very interested to see where they get seeded in the region they are in. If they end up an 8 seed, that second round game against a #1 will be a VERY.  FUN.  GAME.


-Did Nike make a trip to Waco this week, or did Baylor take the DeLorean back to the late eighties?  Where the hell is my Did you SEE those horrible uniforms they wore against Kansas State this week?  http://content.usatoday.com/communities/campusrivalry/post/2012/03/adidas-unveils-postseason-uniforms-for-three-teams/1#.T1mASoGPVoA


-Harvard bball officially made the NCAA's.  All 5,6,7 seeds are now extremely scared.  You don't want any part of these smart kids.


-UVA freshman Malcolm Brogdon broke his ankle and is out for the tourney.  Big loss?  Sure.  But also this.  With all of the defections of past recruiting classes, and a couple injuries, Tony Bennett is taking a total of 7 kids on his roster into the postseason.  Word is there are no grumblings about playing time in the locker room.


25)  That is it.  I have successfully done a mini-rant.  Wow, so this is what it is like to not finish right before I need to go to bed.  I can...like DO stuff.  I even finished before I had to reboot my WIFI.  Crazy.  Talk to you when I talk to you...probably in a couple days.