Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
(For those of you who say my rants are just too long, I am sorry ahead of time. Different strokes for different folks. Some people rent condos in Vail on their birthday, and some people go get McDonalds once the breakfast menu turns over, set up camp on their couch for blogging and the LSU/ Arkansas game with college basketball on the flipper, go play two hours of Golden Tee, and then go to a place that has lifesize Jenga (with a solid chance that kareoke involved somehow)...what can I say? It sounds like a great day to me.)
PLENTY to get to with PLENTY of time...
1) Greetings and salutations. Live side note. I am presently watching the end of the Minnesota/ Indiana State basketball game. Remember the name Jake Odum. I have watched most of this game and this kid has skills. This is the same rant that said back in the day that Davidson was going to beat Wisconsin one year, Cornell was making the sweet 16 one year, and a little further back that Gordon Hayward was going to explode in his junior year. Kid was about 2 inches away from being a household name. Moving on.
2) I get this whole changing conferences thing. I get it. However, don't tell me you can't take off a directional school from your schedule and still have time to keep rivalries alive. It is weird today not watching Nebraska/ Colorado. Instead they are forcing new rivalries on us. Nebraska/ Iowa? CU/ Utah? Doesn't jive with me personally. It is like Brett Favre doing Gap commercials.
3) The Packers/ Lions game was odd. For those who missed it, you saw the score and just saw what everyone expected. It was an odd game though. The Lions played them GREAT in the first half. Lots of penalties and turnovers did them in. They went into the half down 7-0. When the second half started, you just had the feeling that they had their shot to shut down Aaron Rodgers. Personally, if I had to pick an early play that swayed Cousin Mo, it was the tipped INT. It is one thing to go against the unbeaten defending champions. It is a whole different thing to know that luck is against you also. By the way Mr. Suh, you were pushed? I think not. Just own up to it. Just say it was stupid and you lost your head. I would respect you more because of it. You were pushed? And I am sure that chick really was all into relations with Big Ben too...(see? I can crack on my own boys. I spread my sarcasm around)
4) Dallas/ Miami. Romo throws 2 early picks and still they are in the game. Miami gave them hell, but Dallas pulls it out. Two things. If I got into a fight in the alley, I am pretty sure I would give DeMarcus Ware a call. Two. I respect the hell out of what they are doing down in Miami. Four weeks ago, they were contenders for Andrew Luck. Now, NO ONE wants ANY part of them. They are out-manned talent wise, but are BALLING.
5) SF/ Baltimore. Heavyweight game. Another one of those games where some people say it is ugly and others say it is a defensive masterpiece. I am with the latter point. Know that I also have NO problem if a LSU/ Bama rematch goes down. I want to see that "boring" game again. Other note on the Baltimore game. It was just plain weird seeing Lewis on the sideline. Big win for them against a quality opponent? Sure. Big win even more because their leader was out? Huge.
6) Hey. At halftime shows of big football games, what do the people on the other side of the stage see? I feel bad for all of those huge Nickelback fans for got seats on the wrong side of the stage. In the later game, that guy from the Dr. Pepper commercial came out and rapped with that other guy Iglesias (I am NOT wasting time looking up his spelling). Who is that shaved head short guy with sunglasses with a soul patch? He is one of those famous people that I have NO idea of what he sings. He just keeps popping up.
7) Slippery slope and THEN some. Kyle Vanden Bosch got tagged with a personal foul hitting Aaron Rodgers. Ridiculous. This protecting the QB is getting way out of hand. The hit was clean. It was on time. You CAN'T throw those penalties. Those guys' entire life revolves around getting to the QB. They finally do against one of the best, and they flag him? What made it worse was that Rodgers looked up at the ref for a call on the very next play on another great pressure hit. Glad they didn't call that one. Hey, when they review plays that involve Rodgers, do they call it the "discount double-check?"
8) Why did all of these people predict Orton was going to the Bears? Sure, it was a good fit, but waiver wires go bottom up. That is a LOT of teams he has to make it through to make it to the Bears. The Chiefs are a great fit for him. Cassel is out, they are not too far out of their absolutely sad division race, Palko sucks evidently, and now Orton has the joy of being in another QB controversy next year without going against some dude who has a verb made out of his last name, who the nation has fallen in love with, who can't throw a tight spiral to save his life, and who has Fusaichi Pegasus's daughter named after him (SERIOUSLY-LOOK IT UP). At least now I am one pulled hammy from my fellow church goer, Brady Quinn, taking over the team. More importantly, they can bring back those EAS commercials and people will once again laugh when I leave somewhere or pay someone and say "NOW, I'm done."
9) I hear the Muppets movie is coming out. In this time of every freaking thing being remade in every which way possible since we are evidently out of ideas, is it me or does this just seem a little late? Thought they would have covered this a LONG time ago.
10) Ryan Braun wins the NL MVP. I think Kemp had a great season, but I think this is the right call. He would have won it by more if not for splitting votes with Prince Fielder, but of course he wouldn't be in the conversation without playing in the same lineup as Fielder. The classic catch 22. Anyway, notice this. Both MVP's were in the playoffs. It takes a pretty weak field to win it without being in the playoffs (MEMO to you, Alex Rodriguez...doper). Verlander and Braun in the playoffs. Second place Kemp and Ellsbury not in the playoffs.
11) Nadal losing to my personally called next tennis superstar, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga? Not surprising. Nadal getting SMOKED 6-3 6-0 by Federer? Very surprising. Nadal is evidently taking the Tiger Woods early 2000's approach and not giving a shit about anything but the Grand Slam tournaments. I am telling you, people. Tsonga is going to be a household name within a year. He can play all of the surfaces too, along with being a much better athlete than pretty much the entire rest of the field. Since Andy Murray still hasn't won a Grand Slam, I guess this means I will be batting .500 in my gutsy tennis calls with this win.
12) DeAngelo Hall says to the media that he should be cut. In a related story, it appears that the entire Redskins roster said the exact same thing-there just weren't mic's around. (Sorry, Scott, for cutting down your Skins again)
13) Urban Meyer recently was spotted in Mississippi at a high school football field. Apparently, in handling his possible hire to Ohio State, he has hired Brett Favre as a consultant to help him start rumors.
14) In my "how the hell did you make the wire for two straight days?" story, Besiktas is trying to sign Lamar Odom. The only interesting part of the whole story is that it is the same team that Deron Williams is already on. Bring in the triangle offense while you are at it. Will Perdue, are you in shape?
15) Schaub is on the IR, Kellen Clemens has been brought on board for a backup, and Matt Leinart is making the first of several starts for the team where his performance will have a direct correlation with these rants. Hey, Matt. I am taking a leap of faith. You are my fantasy QB now. Bring it, dude, or my wrath in this thing on you will be fierce.
16) Apparently, the lifting the Stanley Cup over you head once the season starts vex only lasts for 15 games or so. The Bruins are 13-7. Wow, that was a quick curse.
17) NBA talks resume, and we are about to lose Christmas games. Meanwhile, MLB talks are done and they are all set. Here is what you need to know.
-it is good through 2016
-there is now HGH testing, but it is not random or unannounced (uhhh...good job?)
-Houston is now in the AL (ya bastards)
-there are now 10 postseason teams (idiots)
-video review is now expanded to foul and fair balls and trap calls (and games just got 10 minutes longer for you east coast people)
-the minimum salary is $480,000 (hey, parents, go buy a bat and ball for little Jimmy-looks like a good career choice)
18) Useless tidbit if you weren't already aware. Before this LSU/Arkansas game, the top 3 spots in the BCS are not only all from the SEC, but all the same DIVISION. Wow. I would say to tell your friends, but by the time this goes public that stat will not be true anymore.
19) I am not looking this up. I would rather be embarrassed in public. I have never seen any of the Lord of the Rings. On Colbert Report, the guy from those movies said he was going to be in the new Hobbit movie next year. Ummm. How do I say this? Uhhh. I am just going to spit it out. I thought the Lord of the Rings WAS the hobbit movie. So confused.
20) Grady Sizemore gets signed for $5 mil for the Indians. That is a lot of trust in someone coming off an injury riddled season. Just saying. I hope you flop a nut straight. (relax. that is a movie reference and not a sexual innuendo)
21) A homeless man breaks into Kenny Williams, the GM for the White Sox, and cooks himself a pizza and starts broiling a lobster. That is awesome. At least this guy makes himself comfortable and announces to the world he is trespassing. He is smarter than that guy who got busted for robbery. He was caught because he forgot to log out of Facebook.
22) Commercial review. I still love the State Farm guy, but I like two others also. I like the AT&T one where the boss is telling everyone what to do, like go play golf, keep listening to Pandora, and ignore him while setting his fantasy lineup. I also like the Under Armour commercial with the basketball players training. Badass.
23) My friends know that Kyle Kuric from Louisville basketball is hands down my favorite player right now. I love the guy. Last year, when I told a buddy about him and to watch him, Kuric got hot down the stretch and just started busting out for national ears. Anyway, he is back again this year, but that is not the cool part. He is paying his own way so as to allow Louisville an extra scholarship for a player. Awesome for him and his family. Good call, too. He probably knows they are one breakout player away from a trip to New Orleans.
24) Speaking of New Orleans, check this out. Carolina fans, you should feel pretty good right now. You are preseason #1, you LOOK like you are #1, and the Final Four is in New Orleans. You also won in '82 and '93 at the same location. Good karma for you all.
25) The Margarito/ Cotto fight is a go. This will be fantastic boxing, people. Check it out when it happens. These are a couple guys that make the term "sweet science" legit. I am kind of bummed that it will not be in Denver as it looked like it might be, but excited nevertheless. If only my gym would put up the replacement heavy bag for the one I broke a couple weeks ago, I would be really happy.
26) BYU pulls out of the Big East offer. Word is that they were already tired of traveling east each time to negotiate the deal. Way to look out for travel costs and your kids.
27) I watched UCLA play the other night (actually I have pretty much seen one game by a lot of teams at this point). First, let's talk about who two of their guys WOULD be playing for this year. The poor man's version of the Lopez twins. The dude version of the Burge twins (look it up-I am not explaining). The Wear brothers would be on UNC. Wow. Can you imagine? That would have been sick. They would have needed two basketballs or two courts. They would have solved one problem for UNC...the only one. Shooting. Those tall dudes can flat out shoot the rock. Word is they got homesick/ saw the recruiting class that Roy was bringing in. You pick your own story. I guess they are like the twin, poor man's version of the Plumlee brothers. ANYWAY. How the HELL is UCLA not decent? They got beat by Middle Tennessee State I believe (lots to get to-not looking it up-just go with the idea that it was a directional school). They have Lamb (another one, not related to the badasses at UCONN and UK), Joshua Smith (the guy who is taking Oliver Miller to another level), Nelson (how many of these brothers are there...or is this the same guy and he is 27 years old because of all of his transfers), a multiple Final Four coach, some decent recruiting classes, and the Wear brothers. Non Sequitur.
28) One more thing about UCLA. Remember this name, people. Kyle Anderson. He is going to be at UCLA next year. Depending on which publication you read, he is a top 3 recruit coming out of the powerhouse St. Anthony's next year. He is 6'8". He plays what position? Point guard. He is going to be fun to watch. He is still working on his shooting, but right now, so I guess he is a 6'8" version of Jacque Vaughn/ Jamal Tinsley (I still think they are the same person-it is complicated).
29) The Duke/ Michigan Maui game was ok, but it was obvious in the different levels of talent. Michigan has some decent shooters, and of course Tim Hardaway impressed me, but they are still two levels behind. When I see Zack Novak guarding the opposing team's power forward, I know that something got overlooked in the recruiting visits. The dude is like 6'4". He plays with the heart of Brian Cardinal (that is a good thing by the way) but is coming up to the chest of most players he is guarding.
30) Holy shit, what a game. Arkansas goes up 14-0. Cousin Mo is all with them. It is now, 10 minutes later real time, and it is all squared up. Crazy shit. See? I am blogging and watching this fantastic game. It is a fantastic birthday.
31) Back to Maui. I had to do my "live" update. The Duke/ Kansas game was awesome. It really doesn't matter if one team or the other is reloading. They will always have top tier talent at both schools. It showed. The game was top level. Very close to the end with the right team winning-Duke. They are the not reloading team presently. I like Duke this year, but I still think that the teams higher than them are still more complete, from level to level. By the way, every time I watch the Maui tourney, I want to go to Maui. Go figure. Also, I want to go to Maui to shoot on those rims. I saw two or three "shooter's touch" shots that wouldn't go down in a normal gym. Those rims give like my backyard court did. Maybe that is why I thought I was better than I was.
32) One other thing on Maui. I LOVED seeing a couple kids do the sky hook. It is the most indefensible move ever invented in basketball. Hey, kids. You might get laughed at using it initially and it might not be "cool," but use it. You will look pretty cool a couple years down the line when UNC and Duke are smiling at you and your parents in recruiting visits. SOMEONE bring it back. I am too old. I have a bad knee. SOMEONE bring that move back. It shouldn't appear odd to anyone that the most points scored in the history of the NBA were from someone using that move.
33) I don't know why, and I am still a fan of the original kind, but wheels and cheese have now overtaken regular macaroni and cheese as one of my favorite dishes. Don't worry, Gatorade. The same thing won't happen to you. None of these crazy flavors will EVER approach your fruit punch or lemon lime. I know, I know. My temporary grape flavor addiction made you nervous, but I am yours forever.
34) Yannick Noah speaks out about the Spaniards drug usage in tennis. Dude, I watched you play way back when. I look back and just assume you were on drugs most of the time. Yeah, I know, he is talking about performance enhancing and I am talking about fun stuff, but I just think...whatever that glass houses/ stones cliche is phrased. Yup.
35) My buddy, Jason, and I were talking about his day. He mentioned the pain of going to Walmart for his first time in a while, and then how he went to play games at Dave and Buster's. He successfully did not walk out of there with a 1800 ticket toaster that would ironically would have cost him $10 at Walmart. Anyway, my addition to the story was the following. I suggested that if he threw in a trip to the DMV, he would have had an "I am in touch with America" day.
36) Hello, Case McCoy and Jaxon Shipley. You guys can start acting like your older brothers any day now. No rush, just saying...
37) Wow. Pain. Texas A&M has had a crazy season. They are so close to having one loss all season and being in the BCS talk, but instead they have 6 losses by a total of THIRTY THREE points. Hey, at least you didn't blow another double digit lead against Texas. You were only up NINE points at halftime. Geez. Are there lap dances by girls going on in that halftime chat, Mike?
38) We have a Hawaii football update. Don't skim ahead. I really have an update. Someone noticed that they have lost with the spread in play for two straight months. They are now being investigated for point shaving. I really have no joke on this one. I really just liked the term point shaving. Moving on if you haven't already...
39) I am going to go on record and say that I think that Frank Gore is the best blocking back in the NFL. I noticed several times where he made a huge block, and only saw one big miss on a play. On that play, he did block a Raven, but chose the wrong one...give him a break, he had to pick ONE of them. As Yogi Berra said, when you come to the fork in the road, take it. Me complimenting him has NOTHING to do with the fact that he only got 5 points for my opposing player in fantasy. Swear.
40) I might make fun of the whole rap...uhhh...sexual assault situation, but Ben is a football stud. Broken finger, no problem. He is playing. Dude might have a love for college bars and bad hearing, but he is truly a baller.
41) Either the announcer was drunk or hadn't done his homework, but Laurent Robinson's first name is not pronounced like it looks. I want to assemble a panel to find out the real answer. He will be second on the list after we untangle the Dirk Nowitzi enigma.
42) Rex Ryan is so funny. Seriously. Word got out that he started Brunell with the first team during practice this week. Usually, he verbally SAYS funny stuff, and now he is telling non verbal jokes. I think that I would like to have some beers with that guy. Call me, Rex.
43) Has anyone been more under the radar than the Georgia Bulldogs football team. The other division has gotten all of the hype. Meanwhile, the Bulldogs are just chilling over there after winning like 9 straight after losing their first 2 games. They can really mess EVERYTHING up if they pull some magic in the SEC Championship.
44) You know I already love Jay Bilas as a basketball analyst. He is my Kirk Herbstreit of basketball. Anyway, he said something at the Maui tourney that almost made me roll of my couch. Bill Rafferty made a reference to Bernard King. Bilas responded by saying," I'm impressed, Bill, that you made a reference to someone that is actually still alive." Awesome.
45) Seth Curry is starting out this season on fire. In case you people don't understand where this guy came from, he is indeed the brother of Stephen Curry (and if you don't know who HE is, then you might be reading the wrong blog), and the son of Del Curry (old school, and someone you might take #1 if you were playing a game of HORSE). He transferred from Liberty University a couple years ago. If anyone has kids trying to learn how to shoot, have them watch him ball. Beautiful jumpshot.
46) I told you before. I stay away from hockey initially not because I don't want to talk about it. I stay away because it takes this long for the cream to rise to the top. Take a look at the divisions and you will see what I mean.
-NW: Minnesota, Edmonton, and Vancouver. This is right, except for Vancouver will be up top by the end of the season. Think of this like the AFC West in football, except that this division has a talented team-Vancouver.
-Central: Chicago, Nashville, Detroit. I could see this end exactly in this order, with all three joining the playoffs.
-Pacific: San Jose. I am only mentioning these guys, as take it as a given that they win this one
-Atlantic: Pitt, Philly. This entire division is STILL aligned the exact way it will be at season's end. Read my earlier rant, when I reference this. Pitt, Philly, Rangers, Devils, Islanders. This division has not changed a bit.
-NE: Boston, Toronto. The vex is over for Boston, and Toronto is good
-SE: Florida, Washington. Yup. I think this will flip flop, but these are the players in this division
47) I am not going to look this up, but I saw a commercial where these crazy scientists who don't think that sharks mean to attack humans are going to jump in shark infested waters without protection or cages. And it is going to be live. I suddenly feel like I just saw a commercial for the Blair Witch Project back in the day and wanted to buy in, because there is NO way this is happening. Is this for real? I would feel weird watching it. Would it be like watching a NASCAR race? As I wait for crashes in the three partial races I have ever seen, would I root for someone to get attacked? So confused how I feel about this.
48) You doubt my Matt Leinart pick up in fantasy? Quick. Tell me the only team in the NFL ranked #1 or #2 in both offense and defense. Houston.
49) Which team has fights in the locker room between the defense and offense? Jacksonville. They are #3 in defense and last in offense. This is even more impressive as the defense is on the field longer because the offense sucks so much.
50) My thoughts go out to the fallen TE from Arkansas. Maybe that is why I oddly find myself rooting for Arkansas in this game. Much love. To die that young, tragic.
51) The NFL might expand its Thursday package. STOP. Take a deep breath. Don't change anything. Everything is perfect just as it is. Don't give me multiple games on a school night. I have a hard enough time with the double Monday night thing you started a couple years ago.
52) Jim Boeheim continues to support Fine in the child sexual abuse allegations. I don't know anything. I don't. But, you know what? I believe that he had a man to man conversation with Fine already, and the fact that he is proactively doing this? I believe Fine is innocent.
53) I saw Carl Lewis on a pregame show the other day? IS it bad that every time I see him, I think more about his botched Star Spangled Banner than his ridiculously great performance in all of the Olympic Games. Don't answer that question. Moving on.
54) I get warm and fuzzy thinking about all of these college basketball stars coming back to play this year. This year is going to be fancy. Sullinger? Barnes? Jones? The rest of the UNC studs? The Vandy conglomerate? I am sure a couple of them were worried about the lockout, but most of them came back for great reasons. Hey, Derrick Williams. In the words of Joey from friends, how YOU doing?
55) I am not commenting on Sandusky this week. We all need a break. UGGHHH.
56) Sign that these rants are way too long...I had to reboot my wireless like 20 minutes ago. In case you are curious, it lasts for three hours. Wow.
57) Pivotal play. Les Miles goes for one of his famous fourth down calls and Arkansas gets called for offsides. Don't be stupid, Arkansas.
58) Yes, I am aware that there have been no Seinfeld references. Oh, I guess that was a reference right there. Cool. Covered. Actually, on my re-read, I mentioned bastards in take 17. Double covered.
59) FBS picks:
-USC -16 at home against UCLA: Are you a believer yet?
-Stanford -7.5 at home against ND: Playing for the Heisman, guys.
-Mich St. -7 at Northwestern: Bet the house. Alright, don't bet the house. It is not a good plan, but I like it. A lot.
-Penn St. +14.5 at Wisconsin: I don't know much, but I know that Penn State plays everyone, good and bad, close. I hear they are going to continue to run the Bobcat. Lol.
-Vandy -1.5 at Wake: Really? Wake has already come back down to earth, people
-Mich -7.5 at home against Ohio State: They will win by 14. Book it.
-BET I CAN'T TELL YOU OFFICIALLY TO TAKE: VA Tech -5 at UVA. I want to win. I just think we will lose by 7-10 points. You didn't hear it from me, but take VA Tech.
60) We are at 60 takes. I WAS going to do a full time breakdown of the top 15 in college bball. I will put you out of your misery and wait until Monday. I am going to enjoy the rest of my birthday. As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, let's get the flock out of here. Peace.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
WE WERE RUNNING THE "BOBCAT"
Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for is everything.
1) I have talked about it over and over. I am not even a fan of the team, just a fan of the game whose allegiance is on the other side of Pennsylvania. But WOW. Sidney Crosby made his return tonight, and looks fantastic. His stick action has been solid, he has 1 goal and 2 assists as of right now, and has won 8 of 12 faceoffs. Very impressive. Pittsburgh was already good. This could make them scary. Switching over to football on the tube. By the way, about the only thing Crosby CAN'T do is grow a decent mustache. Dude. I feel for you. From 1998-2001, everyone decided NOT to tell me how bad my goatee was that wouldn't connect on the sides. Luckily, after a couple days of not shaving, I figured out that my soul patch COULD grow. Moving on.
2) Are you KIDDING me? I joke about watching the NASCAR race if someone could guarantee that Stewart and Edwards finish in the top 2, get sidetracked watching football, and they DO end up 1-2, less than 2 seconds apart. Dammit. Would have been the first car race I have watched since Danica in Indy racing. I am glad Stewart won though. I root for the guy. I don't know why. Maybe it is because he is pretty obnoxious like I am frequently, but I root for him for some odd reason.
3) Jay Cutler is out for the season. Sorry to hear that, dude. I will tell you this. I, for some reason, dislike you, but that effort you put in on the play this past week on an interception return made me gain some respect for you. Not only did you help stop the TD return, but San Diego ended up turning it over. Great stuff, man. Points...
4) Verlander won the AL MVP today. Bullshit. Seriously. In this debate, there is NO gray area. You are either a believer or not, and I am not. There is no way that a guy who pitches every 5th day should get an award made for the most valuable person in the entire league. OK. If they go 33-2 or something, perhaps. But Verlander went 24-5. Doesn't cut it in my book. Last pitcher to win? Dennis Eckersley. I would still have disagreed, but at least he was closing a lot more games. Before that? Clemens. 24-4. I still wouldn't have supported that one, although I was a fan before finding out that he was doping up.
5) Lee Corso got busted yelling the f-word on the air. I don't care. He is so easily forgivable. I love that guy. That team they have on Saturdays is just fun to watch.
6) I waited until my 6th take, even though I am bouncing off of walls because of it. When I went to UVA, the VA Tech rivalry was pretty fierce. Then, VA Tech started stealing our in state recruits, and got pretty good. What followed is a rivalry that was dying because one team was so much better than the other. Think of the college version of Red Wings/ Avs. Anyway, VA Tech won something like the last 7 games, and 11 of 12. This year. it is perfect. We have them in our crib, with a chance to go play Clemson in the ACC championship, and a possibility of going to go to a BCS bowl. Are we going to win? Probably not. We still have a lack of talent in comparison to them. However, it is at our house, and we are hot. I hope Mike London isn't in the hat for Paterno successors, and am very excited for the game. I kind of feel bad though. After UVA won, my out of this world energy and enthusiasm probably wasn't appreciated by the Sooners' fan I was hanging out with. They win ALL THE TIME. They haven't gone through 15 years of frustration. THEIR frustration is having teams that should win the BCS every year and then they only have won one thus far. THAT is frustrating, just a different kind. OHHH. And UVA basketball is 2-0. We are a serious sleeper in the ACC. I presently LOVE both our football and basketball coaches.
7) I overheard a person at work today talking about her school's huge win over OSU. She went to Penn State. She referenced the "bobcat" offense they used. Wow. I hadn't heard about this new offense. WILDCAT. UGHHH. It reminded me of when I bartended and had to make myself NOT jump in sports conversations. It would mean that I was invested...with an idiot most of the time. I used to carry an almanac in my bag before smart phones to prove anything I needed to. My favorite was the following. I was walking from one well to the other when a customer said "Michael Jordan was SO overrated." I smiled, was about to reply, when my bar back, Justin, reminded me of the investment pledge. Thank you, Justin. That conversation would have been ugly, I would have lost some tips, and I probably would have gotten written up.
8) The Iowa State/ OSU game was awesome. I didn't really have plans for the night, but also didn't plan on watching it. I did. I was SO glad. I could break down the game, but would rather note an oddity or two. Before overtime, at Iowa State, the stadium was playing some hard core rap song. It just felt odd. Iowa State? Then, after they won, they played Sweet Caroline. Am I missing something? Sweet Caroline? Confused.
9) The Phillies very quietly got Shane Wigginton today. I live in Denver, so I have watched that guy frequently. I like the pick up.
10) So, as the NBA makes no progress and possibly ruins my Christmas Day, I am seeing some NBA commercials released. I am assuming they have to. They made them, and they have to do SOMETHING with them, right? Well, the Blake Griffin one where he jumps over a moving car is way over the top. Not a great effort. The John Wall commercial? Horrible. Absolutely horrible. I won't tell you about it. You will know when you see it. It is basically a 70's commercial made in the 2000's.
11) The Americans win the President's Cup 19-15. Tiger does well on the weekend. Talk about bad rivalries, how is it that the Americans have won 7 of 8 President's Cups, but only 1 of the last 10 for the Ryder Cups? And did you SEE Tiger Woods' gangster look after the final match...or I should say ATTEMPT at a gangster look? What was THAT all about? He must have watched the Nebraska game and seen...nevermind. this take is going in a horrible direction. I should stop myself right NOW.
12) I only went 3-4 for the week in college football. It was bound to happen. It brings me down to about 65% for the season, and was my first losing week. Hope you didn't go hard on my picks this week. And I am glad that I can't? Yes. Retired is good. Being just a consultant is fun though.
13) The Jets are in a bad spot. Not only did they get Tebowed, but now a QB controversy is boiling. They have a seasoned back up in Mark Brunell. It depends weather you view "seasoned" as experienced or just old. You say tomato, I say tomahto. I have NO idea why I like using that line as much as I do. Point is this. Sanchez is still learning, you pay him a lot of money, and there is no controversy.
14) The problem about Tebow winning on Thursday is that I have to live in this town for TEN days and listening to Tebow crap. It is painful. There is no way this works out. I am going to just keep saying it until it happens. Over and over. Sucks that they play in a division where 9-7 might get you in the dance. No one seems to want it. The only team that does want it is Denver, and they just suck on paper. You know what? I am going to START rooting for the Broncos. That way, Pittsburgh will have a bye when they draw the Donkeys at our crib. Tebow THIS!
15) I am mad I didn't call the Oregon upset. I should have seen it coming. USC is one of the few teams in the country that can counter the team speed of Oregon. They have nothing to play for except to ruin peoples' day. Matt Barkley has gained my respect by leading a team during this hard time and keeping them in every game. They barely lost to Stanford. They win against Oregon. Hey, SEC, be very glad that they aren't eligible for any post-season games. You don't want to play these guys. No one does.
16) Urban Meyer is being talked about for the Ohio State job. Hiring him is like hiring the rich man's version of Rich Rodriguez. They both have funky offenses, so they guarantee that they will get about 3 years to get THEIR kind of players in their system. It is brilliant. They are guaranteed 3 years of having a job. One guy has won it, one hasn't. By the way, looks like Rodriguez is going to Arizona. Running QB's? Sign here.
17) I think this whole Syracuse involvement in the Penn State stuff will blow over. After the Cuse won the other night, Boeheim was matter of fact about the allegations. I look in JoePa's eyes and I question everything. I look in Jim's eyes, and I can't see something like this getting by him or being tolerated.
18) I still like the All State mayhem commercials. I would like to have a drink or two with that guy, and the most interesting man in the world guy. I think that sounds like a really fun night.
19) You could ask me a million times. Even after knowing the score. You could ask me when I was asleep, drunk, or on drugs. There is NO WAY I EVER saw the 45-17 Michigan-Nebraska score coming. Non sequitur.
20) Clemson and Ryan Fitzpatrick have something in common. They both laid an egg or two once they either got paid or won their division. Fitzpatrick might have a 48 Wonderlic, but it is kind of weird that the wheels have come off the bus right after the Bills sign him to a long term contract. The wheels of the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. Clemson. NC State? Hey, guys, Wilson is up at Wisconsin. No excuse for that breakdown. We will see you in the ACC Championship. (That just doesn't even FEEL right saying. It has been a while)
21) There was a tailgater killed at the Harvard/ Yale game. I admit it. I didn't really open the article. But. It was a UHaul that killed the tailgater? Who drives a UHaul to a football game? I have moved a lot of times. I am so focused on getting from point A to point B in a very large vehicle, that the LAST thing on my mind is football. Of course, I would never move during a football game either.
22) Headline that I feel like I was recently in a DeLorean and went 88mph. MLB is going top test for HGH now. Thought that was an obvious reality...like 12 years ago. Way to catch up...
23) Houston is 11-0. Case Keenum did not throw 7 touchdowns like I predicted. That poor guy. Him and Kellen Moore need to go out for some beers. I think they can as both have been in college for like 11 years combined. He will be in a BCS bowl, be the leading QB in college FBS history, and not have a chance for the Heisman OR national championship. Sorry, dude. It is down to Richardson, RGIII, and Luck. You are not pulling a Andre Ware.
24) I LOVE two things in life. I love when that HUGE NFL ref does a game I am watching, and I can make jokes about how he could take half the guys on the field. And. I love when refs say something funny. During the Oregon game, a ref mentioned during a holding call on Oregon that the player was "bear-hugged." That is funny. Like the honesty and candor.
25) The SEC has the top 3 BCS teams. Hell, if they didn't play each other, the whole top ten could be from their conference. Can we play an experimental year where they can't play any other team in their conference, and see how many undefeated teams come out of it?
26) My birthday is over the holidays. Do not bother me during the Arkansas-LSU game. I am invested. I won't go on record and say Arkansas will take this game, but I will say that I am interested in watching the best defense in the nation take on one of the best offenses in the nation. Something has to give.
27) Hey, LeBron. You might not follow MLS, but just so you know, that is the way it is SUPPOSED to work when you try and buy a championship. The Galaxy just won with Beckham, Keane, and Donovan. They won though. That is the main difference. Otherwise, you two are clones.
28) Poor Bengals. They have a solid team, have a QB that was overlooked in most draft predictions, and had to play the Steelers and Ravens back to back. Tough losses. I am already a closet Dalton fan.
29) Wilson Ramos is kidnapped and then saved in a gunfight and the Mariners' OF is stabbed...by his brother. And NO ONE from my special team was involved. Play the lottery this week, and go 1-1-1. Crazy shit is happening. Sad stories.
30) UNC is still #1 in the college bball rankings. I have to say it. I think that I might sound like a broken record over the next few weeks. They ARE good. Very good. If Duke can figure out how to start Ryan Kelly over any of the Plumlee brothers, they might have a shot. Or, the sleepers of the ACC, UVA can take them down. As Dennis Leary said, you have to have goals. "I was supposed to be the starting centerfielder for the Boston Red Sox. Life sucks. Get a helmet."
31) Rex Ryan got fined 75k for cursing out a fan. Have a feeling there will be many more stories like this upcoming. Not that there is anything WRONG with that. I love that he is kind of an idiot, he is coaching in a town that is perfect for him, and football needs him to be on the sideline. It is just...fun.
32) Short one this week. I will be doing a Friday rant, as opposed to a Thursday one. A pre-Arkansas/ LSU rant. You were always the better magician. We both know that. Whatever your secret was, you have to admit, mine was better. I am out. Peace. Happy Turkey Day. I am volunteering. I will actually miss some football, but I will feel good about it. Late.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for is everything.
1) I have talked about it over and over. I am not even a fan of the team, just a fan of the game whose allegiance is on the other side of Pennsylvania. But WOW. Sidney Crosby made his return tonight, and looks fantastic. His stick action has been solid, he has 1 goal and 2 assists as of right now, and has won 8 of 12 faceoffs. Very impressive. Pittsburgh was already good. This could make them scary. Switching over to football on the tube. By the way, about the only thing Crosby CAN'T do is grow a decent mustache. Dude. I feel for you. From 1998-2001, everyone decided NOT to tell me how bad my goatee was that wouldn't connect on the sides. Luckily, after a couple days of not shaving, I figured out that my soul patch COULD grow. Moving on.
2) Are you KIDDING me? I joke about watching the NASCAR race if someone could guarantee that Stewart and Edwards finish in the top 2, get sidetracked watching football, and they DO end up 1-2, less than 2 seconds apart. Dammit. Would have been the first car race I have watched since Danica in Indy racing. I am glad Stewart won though. I root for the guy. I don't know why. Maybe it is because he is pretty obnoxious like I am frequently, but I root for him for some odd reason.
3) Jay Cutler is out for the season. Sorry to hear that, dude. I will tell you this. I, for some reason, dislike you, but that effort you put in on the play this past week on an interception return made me gain some respect for you. Not only did you help stop the TD return, but San Diego ended up turning it over. Great stuff, man. Points...
4) Verlander won the AL MVP today. Bullshit. Seriously. In this debate, there is NO gray area. You are either a believer or not, and I am not. There is no way that a guy who pitches every 5th day should get an award made for the most valuable person in the entire league. OK. If they go 33-2 or something, perhaps. But Verlander went 24-5. Doesn't cut it in my book. Last pitcher to win? Dennis Eckersley. I would still have disagreed, but at least he was closing a lot more games. Before that? Clemens. 24-4. I still wouldn't have supported that one, although I was a fan before finding out that he was doping up.
5) Lee Corso got busted yelling the f-word on the air. I don't care. He is so easily forgivable. I love that guy. That team they have on Saturdays is just fun to watch.
6) I waited until my 6th take, even though I am bouncing off of walls because of it. When I went to UVA, the VA Tech rivalry was pretty fierce. Then, VA Tech started stealing our in state recruits, and got pretty good. What followed is a rivalry that was dying because one team was so much better than the other. Think of the college version of Red Wings/ Avs. Anyway, VA Tech won something like the last 7 games, and 11 of 12. This year. it is perfect. We have them in our crib, with a chance to go play Clemson in the ACC championship, and a possibility of going to go to a BCS bowl. Are we going to win? Probably not. We still have a lack of talent in comparison to them. However, it is at our house, and we are hot. I hope Mike London isn't in the hat for Paterno successors, and am very excited for the game. I kind of feel bad though. After UVA won, my out of this world energy and enthusiasm probably wasn't appreciated by the Sooners' fan I was hanging out with. They win ALL THE TIME. They haven't gone through 15 years of frustration. THEIR frustration is having teams that should win the BCS every year and then they only have won one thus far. THAT is frustrating, just a different kind. OHHH. And UVA basketball is 2-0. We are a serious sleeper in the ACC. I presently LOVE both our football and basketball coaches.
7) I overheard a person at work today talking about her school's huge win over OSU. She went to Penn State. She referenced the "bobcat" offense they used. Wow. I hadn't heard about this new offense. WILDCAT. UGHHH. It reminded me of when I bartended and had to make myself NOT jump in sports conversations. It would mean that I was invested...with an idiot most of the time. I used to carry an almanac in my bag before smart phones to prove anything I needed to. My favorite was the following. I was walking from one well to the other when a customer said "Michael Jordan was SO overrated." I smiled, was about to reply, when my bar back, Justin, reminded me of the investment pledge. Thank you, Justin. That conversation would have been ugly, I would have lost some tips, and I probably would have gotten written up.
8) The Iowa State/ OSU game was awesome. I didn't really have plans for the night, but also didn't plan on watching it. I did. I was SO glad. I could break down the game, but would rather note an oddity or two. Before overtime, at Iowa State, the stadium was playing some hard core rap song. It just felt odd. Iowa State? Then, after they won, they played Sweet Caroline. Am I missing something? Sweet Caroline? Confused.
9) The Phillies very quietly got Shane Wigginton today. I live in Denver, so I have watched that guy frequently. I like the pick up.
10) So, as the NBA makes no progress and possibly ruins my Christmas Day, I am seeing some NBA commercials released. I am assuming they have to. They made them, and they have to do SOMETHING with them, right? Well, the Blake Griffin one where he jumps over a moving car is way over the top. Not a great effort. The John Wall commercial? Horrible. Absolutely horrible. I won't tell you about it. You will know when you see it. It is basically a 70's commercial made in the 2000's.
11) The Americans win the President's Cup 19-15. Tiger does well on the weekend. Talk about bad rivalries, how is it that the Americans have won 7 of 8 President's Cups, but only 1 of the last 10 for the Ryder Cups? And did you SEE Tiger Woods' gangster look after the final match...or I should say ATTEMPT at a gangster look? What was THAT all about? He must have watched the Nebraska game and seen...nevermind. this take is going in a horrible direction. I should stop myself right NOW.
12) I only went 3-4 for the week in college football. It was bound to happen. It brings me down to about 65% for the season, and was my first losing week. Hope you didn't go hard on my picks this week. And I am glad that I can't? Yes. Retired is good. Being just a consultant is fun though.
13) The Jets are in a bad spot. Not only did they get Tebowed, but now a QB controversy is boiling. They have a seasoned back up in Mark Brunell. It depends weather you view "seasoned" as experienced or just old. You say tomato, I say tomahto. I have NO idea why I like using that line as much as I do. Point is this. Sanchez is still learning, you pay him a lot of money, and there is no controversy.
14) The problem about Tebow winning on Thursday is that I have to live in this town for TEN days and listening to Tebow crap. It is painful. There is no way this works out. I am going to just keep saying it until it happens. Over and over. Sucks that they play in a division where 9-7 might get you in the dance. No one seems to want it. The only team that does want it is Denver, and they just suck on paper. You know what? I am going to START rooting for the Broncos. That way, Pittsburgh will have a bye when they draw the Donkeys at our crib. Tebow THIS!
15) I am mad I didn't call the Oregon upset. I should have seen it coming. USC is one of the few teams in the country that can counter the team speed of Oregon. They have nothing to play for except to ruin peoples' day. Matt Barkley has gained my respect by leading a team during this hard time and keeping them in every game. They barely lost to Stanford. They win against Oregon. Hey, SEC, be very glad that they aren't eligible for any post-season games. You don't want to play these guys. No one does.
16) Urban Meyer is being talked about for the Ohio State job. Hiring him is like hiring the rich man's version of Rich Rodriguez. They both have funky offenses, so they guarantee that they will get about 3 years to get THEIR kind of players in their system. It is brilliant. They are guaranteed 3 years of having a job. One guy has won it, one hasn't. By the way, looks like Rodriguez is going to Arizona. Running QB's? Sign here.
17) I think this whole Syracuse involvement in the Penn State stuff will blow over. After the Cuse won the other night, Boeheim was matter of fact about the allegations. I look in JoePa's eyes and I question everything. I look in Jim's eyes, and I can't see something like this getting by him or being tolerated.
18) I still like the All State mayhem commercials. I would like to have a drink or two with that guy, and the most interesting man in the world guy. I think that sounds like a really fun night.
19) You could ask me a million times. Even after knowing the score. You could ask me when I was asleep, drunk, or on drugs. There is NO WAY I EVER saw the 45-17 Michigan-Nebraska score coming. Non sequitur.
20) Clemson and Ryan Fitzpatrick have something in common. They both laid an egg or two once they either got paid or won their division. Fitzpatrick might have a 48 Wonderlic, but it is kind of weird that the wheels have come off the bus right after the Bills sign him to a long term contract. The wheels of the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. Clemson. NC State? Hey, guys, Wilson is up at Wisconsin. No excuse for that breakdown. We will see you in the ACC Championship. (That just doesn't even FEEL right saying. It has been a while)
21) There was a tailgater killed at the Harvard/ Yale game. I admit it. I didn't really open the article. But. It was a UHaul that killed the tailgater? Who drives a UHaul to a football game? I have moved a lot of times. I am so focused on getting from point A to point B in a very large vehicle, that the LAST thing on my mind is football. Of course, I would never move during a football game either.
22) Headline that I feel like I was recently in a DeLorean and went 88mph. MLB is going top test for HGH now. Thought that was an obvious reality...like 12 years ago. Way to catch up...
23) Houston is 11-0. Case Keenum did not throw 7 touchdowns like I predicted. That poor guy. Him and Kellen Moore need to go out for some beers. I think they can as both have been in college for like 11 years combined. He will be in a BCS bowl, be the leading QB in college FBS history, and not have a chance for the Heisman OR national championship. Sorry, dude. It is down to Richardson, RGIII, and Luck. You are not pulling a Andre Ware.
24) I LOVE two things in life. I love when that HUGE NFL ref does a game I am watching, and I can make jokes about how he could take half the guys on the field. And. I love when refs say something funny. During the Oregon game, a ref mentioned during a holding call on Oregon that the player was "bear-hugged." That is funny. Like the honesty and candor.
25) The SEC has the top 3 BCS teams. Hell, if they didn't play each other, the whole top ten could be from their conference. Can we play an experimental year where they can't play any other team in their conference, and see how many undefeated teams come out of it?
26) My birthday is over the holidays. Do not bother me during the Arkansas-LSU game. I am invested. I won't go on record and say Arkansas will take this game, but I will say that I am interested in watching the best defense in the nation take on one of the best offenses in the nation. Something has to give.
27) Hey, LeBron. You might not follow MLS, but just so you know, that is the way it is SUPPOSED to work when you try and buy a championship. The Galaxy just won with Beckham, Keane, and Donovan. They won though. That is the main difference. Otherwise, you two are clones.
28) Poor Bengals. They have a solid team, have a QB that was overlooked in most draft predictions, and had to play the Steelers and Ravens back to back. Tough losses. I am already a closet Dalton fan.
29) Wilson Ramos is kidnapped and then saved in a gunfight and the Mariners' OF is stabbed...by his brother. And NO ONE from my special team was involved. Play the lottery this week, and go 1-1-1. Crazy shit is happening. Sad stories.
30) UNC is still #1 in the college bball rankings. I have to say it. I think that I might sound like a broken record over the next few weeks. They ARE good. Very good. If Duke can figure out how to start Ryan Kelly over any of the Plumlee brothers, they might have a shot. Or, the sleepers of the ACC, UVA can take them down. As Dennis Leary said, you have to have goals. "I was supposed to be the starting centerfielder for the Boston Red Sox. Life sucks. Get a helmet."
31) Rex Ryan got fined 75k for cursing out a fan. Have a feeling there will be many more stories like this upcoming. Not that there is anything WRONG with that. I love that he is kind of an idiot, he is coaching in a town that is perfect for him, and football needs him to be on the sideline. It is just...fun.
32) Short one this week. I will be doing a Friday rant, as opposed to a Thursday one. A pre-Arkansas/ LSU rant. You were always the better magician. We both know that. Whatever your secret was, you have to admit, mine was better. I am out. Peace. Happy Turkey Day. I am volunteering. I will actually miss some football, but I will feel good about it. Late.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
111711-INVERTED WISHBONE...
Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
I don't sell shrimp chips.
1. Well, I am starting this rant after the first quarter of this VERY strange football game. A bunch of large, fast people defending a gimic UF offense, with a bunch of snapshots of people "tebowing" in between. I don't remember ever hearing during an NFL game the term "inverted wishbone," but it happened...and it wasn't a joke. I know that there are contractual limitations, but we couldn't pull Urban Meyer for this game. I would love to hear him irritating me with things like "oh, that is the old wide loop Indiana back pitch play just like we used to run at UF." Another thing. Did EAS miss on this or WHAT? They have like 4 commercials they had to shelf when Brady Quinn became a backup. Now they have to watch him play 3rd string behind America's love affair. They should record a 5 or 20 minute mega commercial with Mr. Tebow.
2. We need two rule changes in college basketball. Dibs to the powers that be for bringing in the charging circle into play. We needed that. Now, get to work on tie-ups going alternate possession and being able to call a time-out when you are trapped in the corner. One of those is obviously easier to make a rule change than the other. I get that.
3. Woods and Stricker get SMOKED in the first round of the President's Cup by a record amount of strokes. They didn't make a birdie, and get worked 7 and 6. There are 3 more days of course, but he evidently have much match play magic in this one. His only redeeming grace is that he had a fall guy with him, so you can't totally be sure whether he was the problem.
4. I see that Pujols is out of his drunken stupor and returned to talk with the Cardinals. I am not saying that he should go with the Cards. I am just saying that I think there was a HUGE party down in Florida, 3 guys all got put in a 3 day coma, and they were kept in solitude while the media said they were "talking" with them. Have you three even LOOKED at the stands during their games?
5. Headline that threw me for a loop and made me realize how all of the dumb things athletes do in their off time make us think that most ambiguous headlines will be bad. "WR Cruz parties at club-1 dead." I guess I should have figured it out on my own on how high it was on the wire, but it was relatively harmless. He was out. No curfew. He was at a normal night club. A separate entity part of people HAPPENED to have someone die. No worries. Thought I had a new member of my "team," but you were doing things right. Metta World Peace and Owens won't tolerate that righteous shit.
6. The sky is blue and the grass is green. Thanks for letting me know, San Francisco Giants, that you would like to extend Lincecum's contract. Glad you guys are splitting the atom over there and are letting us know about it.
7. I have never kidnapped anyone, so I won't pretend to know much about it. "GIVE ME BACK MY SON!" Anyway, there are EIGHT suspects in the Wilson Ramos deal. Holy shit, that is a large operation. Can I get a couple minutes before you lock those guys away to pick their brain and see if the flow chart I made on a napkin at lunch today was anywhere close?
8. Speaking of things I don't pretend to know a lot about. Shhh. This is a...secret. I am not going to stop my day for it or anything-it has to be a subconscious, accidental TV turn on. But. I think if I could guarantee that the two contenders could be in the top five in the last 20 laps, I think I might be able to watch WITH interest the end of the last Chase race with Stewart and Edwards. Put it in the vault. Actually, I should look up what day that race is if I am going to accidentally turn it on. They are on Sundays, right? They have that minor league race on Saturday, and the trucks on Friday? Am I close?
9. Tosh.O owes me money or SOMETHING. He HAS to. I was watching a little bit of his show the other night and he used one of my lines. A line that used to irritate a good amount of my friends, but I used it anyway. When playing beer pong a while back, and after one of the biggest NFL busts of all time, I coined a phrase. If you were shooting at the other side, and you air-mailed all of the cups, you had to yell "JaMarcus." (you probably all follow this joke, but it is because he overthrew everyone with his inaccurate arm) Tosh showed a clip of people missing other people with a ball. He said "who do they think they are? JaMarcus Russell?" Like it. Send me the check in the mail. If I was on either side of the fence with that guy, I am more in favor of him now. In the same episode, he also pulled a European Siren/ Jason Bourne reference, which I also dug.
Solid, Tosh.
10. I love making lists, and I love reading lists. I think I read every "power ranking" in every sport out there. I love them.
11. Terry Francona has been on the wire for like 3 days for telling us that "he will not manage in 2012." What gives? Flash it up there and let me know, but 3 days? Are we lacking news? I think I would rather read follow up interviews with Klinsman and his HUGE win against...Slovenia. That is reaching, but you get the point.
12. I watched Workaholics for the first time the other night. Wow, that show is out there, vicious, and funny as hell. I might need to make it a regular thing. Any show that makes a DARYL VHS tape reference with the actual prop is A-List in my book.
13. I am SO excited that college basketball started, but for those who really don't love the sport, and until I figure out how to do my format when the season REALLY heats up, I will compress it into one long take so you non-fans can gloss over.
14. Packer John Jolly is sentenced to 6 years of prison. After reading about all of the athletes get let off for charges where they need to serve time, I am bothered by this one. He is a codeine addict. Read the account. It is not...ummm...horrifying like others who HAVE gotten off. I am not saying I am on this guy's side, and I only know 40% of the story due to my media rules, but I think this guy would benefit more by getting help at rehab, not being locked up.
15. Oddity. This NFL game has more running than passing, leading most of the time to faster games. It is two hours in, and there is still 9 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. I am blogging, so not noticing it as much, but this thing is tracking a little long for this type of game.
16. Not going for the big game and probably a great hire: Dale Sveum to the Cubs. GOING for a big name because they are the Red Sox: Bobby Valentine getting action by the Red Sox.
17. Two changes so far in the MLB. The first I have no problem with. The Astros go to the AL. Now you sons of bitches can play the Yankees more, YA BASTARDS! (Seinfeld reference-I am not saying that those bad words for no reason) Plus, the Astros kind of just FEEL like an AL team. I don't know what that means, but it makes sense to me. The second change really bothers me. I love basketball, and I hate all of the teams that make the playoffs. I love hockey, and I am slightly bothered by all of the party crashers. But baseball has kept it clean. Selig is pushing his luck and should have just rode off into the sunset. You got rationally lucky with the wildcard introduction years ago. It worked out. It is exciting. It isn't overkill. But 10 teams? Getting in the gray area now. I know it is only a one game playoff for the extra team in each league, but I liked what you have going already. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
18. Gary Pinkel of Missouri has his team fighting for bowl game eligibility. You might have found him watching tape of Texas Tech. You might have found him going over playbooks. You might have found him mapping out the weekend's schedule with his kids. You might have. His solution? Let's go get loaded and drive in the MIDDLE of the week. Nice work, bro. Way to aim high.
19. You will not be surprised that Clayton won the National League Cy Young. You will not be surprised he beat Halladay and Lee (Kershaw won the Triple Crown). You will not be surprised that he got 27 of 32 first place votes. You WILL be surprised about this. That kid is 23 years old. Wow.
20. Oh, and in case you live in a sports bubble, Verlander wins the Al MVP. Here is the oddity to me in my last two takes. It is not who won. It was how it was announced. They announced the AL Cy Young one day, then the managers of the year, then the National League Cy Young. Little oddities make my mind think. I dwell on these things. I just don't get the rationale here. Whatever. Moving on.
21. Hmmmm...a Steelers bye week...now if only I could remember what I did on Sundays before the season began. What? Oh, that's right. There ARE other games on. What bad luck. I finally get a week where I don't have to fight for TV and sound rights with the Broncos fans, and neither of them play Sunday.
22. My team's QB gets a broken thumb, my QB on my hot fantasy team (5 straight) goes down for the year...not a good week for that stuff. Guess who I picked up? Yup. Matt Leinart. I feel a made for TV movie coming.
23. I am a cop. I am Santa Claus. Who is Santa Claus? (Don't google it. Figure it out. You have another movie quote coming)
24. NBA games are cancelled through December 15th. We are now 10 days from me having to find Xmas plans. Damn.
25. In the Sporting News magazine I am going to read every word and cover to cover that goes year by year, here is another few highlights of ONE single page. In case you are wondering, I have an odd habit. I read all magazines backwards. I have no idea why, but just wanted to explain the backtracking in years from last rant. 1976-1978. Thrilla in Manila. Griffin wins 2nd Heisman. Reggie Jackson homers on 3 consecutive pitches...in the World Series. Bucky Dent's home run wins AL East. Indiana gets the last undefeated season. Dr. J wins the first dunk contest. Peter Seitz overturns baseball's reserve clause (HAD to sneak that one in). Then the eternal oddity. Carlton Fisk hits his famous home run, and then they lose a game later to the Big Red Machine. This magazine is going to take me YEARS to read...especially backwards.
26. Red Sox made an offer to bring Ortiz back for another year. Do it. He helped get you two championships. You two owe each other one more year.
27. The Redskins have lost 5 straight, the Bills are back to being the Bills, the tides have found equilibrium, and all is back to normal back in the world. That was a hell of a 4 week or so Pittsburgh Pirate ride you put us on. It is like Michael J, Fox finally hit 88 miles an hour down that really, really short street.
28. By the way, I read this the other day. Since I was curious about it myself, I thought I would share. A guy who gets to follow sports FULL time without another job wrote a column that clarified something. Whenever you read that a college player is suspended a game or two for "breaking team rules," about 75% of the time that violation is drugs. I maybe conjured that, but it was glad to hear it from someone else.
29. New category. The "why do I care and why are you in the top ten stories of the day" headline. "USC receiver Woods misses practice." Gee. Thanks. NOW I can get some sleep tonight. I was totally wondering about his status.
30. What do we have left? NFL power rankings, Penn State, NCAA basketball, and FBS picks...
31. NFL. I have taken a random power ranking and made one comment on each:
-Packers-I am sticking with my call. They will lose to the Giants two weeks from now. Eli won't have any deer in headlights look.
-49ers-Alex Smith/ Joe Montana...you say tomato, I say tomahto...jk...anyone doubt that Harbaugh can coach NOW? Something tells me that Stanford wouldn't have lost that Oregon game with him.
-Saints-WOW, these guys are under the radar...I think they are still passing too much, but that is why I am just a blogger.
-Steelers-they got swept by the Ravens and will still win the division. Not being a homer. Check out their schedule, people.
-Bears-I love Hester, and I dislike Jeff George...uhhh.. I mean Jay Cutler.
-Ravens-If only they could play the Steelers each week instead of the Seattle, Tennessee, and Jacksonville...are you KIDDING me? Just plain weird.
-Giants-pretty sure they are taking the NFC East AND taking down the Pack
-Pats-whatever. I will never write these guys off with one of my man crushes on there and a NFL, non-fashionable genius guiding them
-Texans-Any Given Sunday Sequel. You have a bye week. You have a good team. You have NO pressure from behind you. If you can't do THIS, then you are a loser, Leinart.
-Lions-They got good just in time before Goodell was thinking about taking them off the Thanksgiving game. Nice timing.
32. Penn State. I am not going to do a long take on this. We find out McQueary might have done something during the incident. Great. You tell us you reported it to the cops. They say no. Sweet. The Costas interview with Sandusky. Does that guy KNOW he sounds like he is guilty of this shit? Creepy. You need to keep that guy off the mic. Penn State hires a law firm. Of course. Hire like 25 of them. You will need them. Victims coming forth right and left, spirited by the group that is coming forward. Crazy. Now. NOW. What comes out today? If you thought it couldn't get weirder, it just did. A Syracuse basketball assistant is now involved. You couldn't write this shit. PLEASE tell me. PLEASE. Tell me that Boeheim knew nothing, because if I lose two of my favorite coaches in a month or two, I am going to lose it.
33. I CAN'T believe that I just watched Tebow win another game. Damn. 9-20 for 104 yds? and you win against the Jets? WTF. Sorry, mom. I didn't spell it out this time.
34. College bball. This won't be that long (I might just have to write a separate blog for that). We are at 34 takes. Ready? Here we go.
-Florida loses to OSU, but much closer than game actually was. Four guards are fun, Billy, but they are not going to beat a team that is big, fundamentally sound, and good shooters. That Beal kid for UF is going to be good by the way.
-Baylor "survives" SDSU. RELAX, announcers. Chemistry was a problem last year, the talent is there, and their freshman are studs. They need to rent a point guard for the year, but let's not all jump ship yet.
-Mich St./ Duke. AWESOME. You have the mentor announcing the game of his recruit and apprentice who breaks HIS record. AWESOME. One has more titles, one has the undefeated season. Another game that APPEARED much closer than it was. Hey, Michigan State, play a couple directional schools.
-the palindrome game...KU-UK (racecar is your hint- you learned it in 5th grade). Terrence Jones looks like a player who STILL looks like he needs to be reminded that you will get more 3 pt looks that you can make (amazing) if you take it to the hole about 3 times more often. Don't settle. You are tall and very talented. That is one SICK squad. UNC final. That would be awesome.
-Memphis handles Belmont. Belmont won't go away. Get them early, people, and hope you don't face them in the tourney.
That is enough for now. I have all season to be excited about this.
35. FBS picks (I am about 70% for the season):
-Iowa -3 at Purdue. Uhhh. I feel like I am reading a different sport's spread. Is this lacrosse or something?
-Clemson -8 at NC State. Not as strong on this one, but I like it.
-Utah -3.5 at Wash St. They HAVE to win a game they should at SOME point.
-Stanford -18 home against Cal. The "wrath of Andrew Luck" doesn't sounds very cool, but it exists.
-Ohio St. -7 home against Penn State. Hate to pick on the Sad Valley folks, but...
-Houston -20 home against SMU. Case saw Luck possibly go down for Heisman. He is going to take it easy and only throw 7 touchdowns.
-Miami -1 at South Florida. Talent. Bring it before your scholarships are cut.
36. That's all folks. As one shepherd said to the other, I am getting the flock out of here. Or as my movie theme would say, There is a time for diplomacy and a time for action. Diplomacy is dead. Peace.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
I don't sell shrimp chips.
1. Well, I am starting this rant after the first quarter of this VERY strange football game. A bunch of large, fast people defending a gimic UF offense, with a bunch of snapshots of people "tebowing" in between. I don't remember ever hearing during an NFL game the term "inverted wishbone," but it happened...and it wasn't a joke. I know that there are contractual limitations, but we couldn't pull Urban Meyer for this game. I would love to hear him irritating me with things like "oh, that is the old wide loop Indiana back pitch play just like we used to run at UF." Another thing. Did EAS miss on this or WHAT? They have like 4 commercials they had to shelf when Brady Quinn became a backup. Now they have to watch him play 3rd string behind America's love affair. They should record a 5 or 20 minute mega commercial with Mr. Tebow.
2. We need two rule changes in college basketball. Dibs to the powers that be for bringing in the charging circle into play. We needed that. Now, get to work on tie-ups going alternate possession and being able to call a time-out when you are trapped in the corner. One of those is obviously easier to make a rule change than the other. I get that.
3. Woods and Stricker get SMOKED in the first round of the President's Cup by a record amount of strokes. They didn't make a birdie, and get worked 7 and 6. There are 3 more days of course, but he evidently have much match play magic in this one. His only redeeming grace is that he had a fall guy with him, so you can't totally be sure whether he was the problem.
4. I see that Pujols is out of his drunken stupor and returned to talk with the Cardinals. I am not saying that he should go with the Cards. I am just saying that I think there was a HUGE party down in Florida, 3 guys all got put in a 3 day coma, and they were kept in solitude while the media said they were "talking" with them. Have you three even LOOKED at the stands during their games?
5. Headline that threw me for a loop and made me realize how all of the dumb things athletes do in their off time make us think that most ambiguous headlines will be bad. "WR Cruz parties at club-1 dead." I guess I should have figured it out on my own on how high it was on the wire, but it was relatively harmless. He was out. No curfew. He was at a normal night club. A separate entity part of people HAPPENED to have someone die. No worries. Thought I had a new member of my "team," but you were doing things right. Metta World Peace and Owens won't tolerate that righteous shit.
6. The sky is blue and the grass is green. Thanks for letting me know, San Francisco Giants, that you would like to extend Lincecum's contract. Glad you guys are splitting the atom over there and are letting us know about it.
7. I have never kidnapped anyone, so I won't pretend to know much about it. "GIVE ME BACK MY SON!" Anyway, there are EIGHT suspects in the Wilson Ramos deal. Holy shit, that is a large operation. Can I get a couple minutes before you lock those guys away to pick their brain and see if the flow chart I made on a napkin at lunch today was anywhere close?
8. Speaking of things I don't pretend to know a lot about. Shhh. This is a...secret. I am not going to stop my day for it or anything-it has to be a subconscious, accidental TV turn on. But. I think if I could guarantee that the two contenders could be in the top five in the last 20 laps, I think I might be able to watch WITH interest the end of the last Chase race with Stewart and Edwards. Put it in the vault. Actually, I should look up what day that race is if I am going to accidentally turn it on. They are on Sundays, right? They have that minor league race on Saturday, and the trucks on Friday? Am I close?
9. Tosh.O owes me money or SOMETHING. He HAS to. I was watching a little bit of his show the other night and he used one of my lines. A line that used to irritate a good amount of my friends, but I used it anyway. When playing beer pong a while back, and after one of the biggest NFL busts of all time, I coined a phrase. If you were shooting at the other side, and you air-mailed all of the cups, you had to yell "JaMarcus." (you probably all follow this joke, but it is because he overthrew everyone with his inaccurate arm) Tosh showed a clip of people missing other people with a ball. He said "who do they think they are? JaMarcus Russell?" Like it. Send me the check in the mail. If I was on either side of the fence with that guy, I am more in favor of him now. In the same episode, he also pulled a European Siren/ Jason Bourne reference, which I also dug.
Solid, Tosh.
10. I love making lists, and I love reading lists. I think I read every "power ranking" in every sport out there. I love them.
11. Terry Francona has been on the wire for like 3 days for telling us that "he will not manage in 2012." What gives? Flash it up there and let me know, but 3 days? Are we lacking news? I think I would rather read follow up interviews with Klinsman and his HUGE win against...Slovenia. That is reaching, but you get the point.
12. I watched Workaholics for the first time the other night. Wow, that show is out there, vicious, and funny as hell. I might need to make it a regular thing. Any show that makes a DARYL VHS tape reference with the actual prop is A-List in my book.
13. I am SO excited that college basketball started, but for those who really don't love the sport, and until I figure out how to do my format when the season REALLY heats up, I will compress it into one long take so you non-fans can gloss over.
14. Packer John Jolly is sentenced to 6 years of prison. After reading about all of the athletes get let off for charges where they need to serve time, I am bothered by this one. He is a codeine addict. Read the account. It is not...ummm...horrifying like others who HAVE gotten off. I am not saying I am on this guy's side, and I only know 40% of the story due to my media rules, but I think this guy would benefit more by getting help at rehab, not being locked up.
15. Oddity. This NFL game has more running than passing, leading most of the time to faster games. It is two hours in, and there is still 9 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. I am blogging, so not noticing it as much, but this thing is tracking a little long for this type of game.
16. Not going for the big game and probably a great hire: Dale Sveum to the Cubs. GOING for a big name because they are the Red Sox: Bobby Valentine getting action by the Red Sox.
17. Two changes so far in the MLB. The first I have no problem with. The Astros go to the AL. Now you sons of bitches can play the Yankees more, YA BASTARDS! (Seinfeld reference-I am not saying that those bad words for no reason) Plus, the Astros kind of just FEEL like an AL team. I don't know what that means, but it makes sense to me. The second change really bothers me. I love basketball, and I hate all of the teams that make the playoffs. I love hockey, and I am slightly bothered by all of the party crashers. But baseball has kept it clean. Selig is pushing his luck and should have just rode off into the sunset. You got rationally lucky with the wildcard introduction years ago. It worked out. It is exciting. It isn't overkill. But 10 teams? Getting in the gray area now. I know it is only a one game playoff for the extra team in each league, but I liked what you have going already. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
18. Gary Pinkel of Missouri has his team fighting for bowl game eligibility. You might have found him watching tape of Texas Tech. You might have found him going over playbooks. You might have found him mapping out the weekend's schedule with his kids. You might have. His solution? Let's go get loaded and drive in the MIDDLE of the week. Nice work, bro. Way to aim high.
19. You will not be surprised that Clayton won the National League Cy Young. You will not be surprised he beat Halladay and Lee (Kershaw won the Triple Crown). You will not be surprised that he got 27 of 32 first place votes. You WILL be surprised about this. That kid is 23 years old. Wow.
20. Oh, and in case you live in a sports bubble, Verlander wins the Al MVP. Here is the oddity to me in my last two takes. It is not who won. It was how it was announced. They announced the AL Cy Young one day, then the managers of the year, then the National League Cy Young. Little oddities make my mind think. I dwell on these things. I just don't get the rationale here. Whatever. Moving on.
21. Hmmmm...a Steelers bye week...now if only I could remember what I did on Sundays before the season began. What? Oh, that's right. There ARE other games on. What bad luck. I finally get a week where I don't have to fight for TV and sound rights with the Broncos fans, and neither of them play Sunday.
22. My team's QB gets a broken thumb, my QB on my hot fantasy team (5 straight) goes down for the year...not a good week for that stuff. Guess who I picked up? Yup. Matt Leinart. I feel a made for TV movie coming.
23. I am a cop. I am Santa Claus. Who is Santa Claus? (Don't google it. Figure it out. You have another movie quote coming)
24. NBA games are cancelled through December 15th. We are now 10 days from me having to find Xmas plans. Damn.
25. In the Sporting News magazine I am going to read every word and cover to cover that goes year by year, here is another few highlights of ONE single page. In case you are wondering, I have an odd habit. I read all magazines backwards. I have no idea why, but just wanted to explain the backtracking in years from last rant. 1976-1978. Thrilla in Manila. Griffin wins 2nd Heisman. Reggie Jackson homers on 3 consecutive pitches...in the World Series. Bucky Dent's home run wins AL East. Indiana gets the last undefeated season. Dr. J wins the first dunk contest. Peter Seitz overturns baseball's reserve clause (HAD to sneak that one in). Then the eternal oddity. Carlton Fisk hits his famous home run, and then they lose a game later to the Big Red Machine. This magazine is going to take me YEARS to read...especially backwards.
26. Red Sox made an offer to bring Ortiz back for another year. Do it. He helped get you two championships. You two owe each other one more year.
27. The Redskins have lost 5 straight, the Bills are back to being the Bills, the tides have found equilibrium, and all is back to normal back in the world. That was a hell of a 4 week or so Pittsburgh Pirate ride you put us on. It is like Michael J, Fox finally hit 88 miles an hour down that really, really short street.
28. By the way, I read this the other day. Since I was curious about it myself, I thought I would share. A guy who gets to follow sports FULL time without another job wrote a column that clarified something. Whenever you read that a college player is suspended a game or two for "breaking team rules," about 75% of the time that violation is drugs. I maybe conjured that, but it was glad to hear it from someone else.
29. New category. The "why do I care and why are you in the top ten stories of the day" headline. "USC receiver Woods misses practice." Gee. Thanks. NOW I can get some sleep tonight. I was totally wondering about his status.
30. What do we have left? NFL power rankings, Penn State, NCAA basketball, and FBS picks...
31. NFL. I have taken a random power ranking and made one comment on each:
-Packers-I am sticking with my call. They will lose to the Giants two weeks from now. Eli won't have any deer in headlights look.
-49ers-Alex Smith/ Joe Montana...you say tomato, I say tomahto...jk...anyone doubt that Harbaugh can coach NOW? Something tells me that Stanford wouldn't have lost that Oregon game with him.
-Saints-WOW, these guys are under the radar...I think they are still passing too much, but that is why I am just a blogger.
-Steelers-they got swept by the Ravens and will still win the division. Not being a homer. Check out their schedule, people.
-Bears-I love Hester, and I dislike Jeff George...uhhh.. I mean Jay Cutler.
-Ravens-If only they could play the Steelers each week instead of the Seattle, Tennessee, and Jacksonville...are you KIDDING me? Just plain weird.
-Giants-pretty sure they are taking the NFC East AND taking down the Pack
-Pats-whatever. I will never write these guys off with one of my man crushes on there and a NFL, non-fashionable genius guiding them
-Texans-Any Given Sunday Sequel. You have a bye week. You have a good team. You have NO pressure from behind you. If you can't do THIS, then you are a loser, Leinart.
-Lions-They got good just in time before Goodell was thinking about taking them off the Thanksgiving game. Nice timing.
32. Penn State. I am not going to do a long take on this. We find out McQueary might have done something during the incident. Great. You tell us you reported it to the cops. They say no. Sweet. The Costas interview with Sandusky. Does that guy KNOW he sounds like he is guilty of this shit? Creepy. You need to keep that guy off the mic. Penn State hires a law firm. Of course. Hire like 25 of them. You will need them. Victims coming forth right and left, spirited by the group that is coming forward. Crazy. Now. NOW. What comes out today? If you thought it couldn't get weirder, it just did. A Syracuse basketball assistant is now involved. You couldn't write this shit. PLEASE tell me. PLEASE. Tell me that Boeheim knew nothing, because if I lose two of my favorite coaches in a month or two, I am going to lose it.
33. I CAN'T believe that I just watched Tebow win another game. Damn. 9-20 for 104 yds? and you win against the Jets? WTF. Sorry, mom. I didn't spell it out this time.
34. College bball. This won't be that long (I might just have to write a separate blog for that). We are at 34 takes. Ready? Here we go.
-Florida loses to OSU, but much closer than game actually was. Four guards are fun, Billy, but they are not going to beat a team that is big, fundamentally sound, and good shooters. That Beal kid for UF is going to be good by the way.
-Baylor "survives" SDSU. RELAX, announcers. Chemistry was a problem last year, the talent is there, and their freshman are studs. They need to rent a point guard for the year, but let's not all jump ship yet.
-Mich St./ Duke. AWESOME. You have the mentor announcing the game of his recruit and apprentice who breaks HIS record. AWESOME. One has more titles, one has the undefeated season. Another game that APPEARED much closer than it was. Hey, Michigan State, play a couple directional schools.
-the palindrome game...KU-UK (racecar is your hint- you learned it in 5th grade). Terrence Jones looks like a player who STILL looks like he needs to be reminded that you will get more 3 pt looks that you can make (amazing) if you take it to the hole about 3 times more often. Don't settle. You are tall and very talented. That is one SICK squad. UNC final. That would be awesome.
-Memphis handles Belmont. Belmont won't go away. Get them early, people, and hope you don't face them in the tourney.
That is enough for now. I have all season to be excited about this.
35. FBS picks (I am about 70% for the season):
-Iowa -3 at Purdue. Uhhh. I feel like I am reading a different sport's spread. Is this lacrosse or something?
-Clemson -8 at NC State. Not as strong on this one, but I like it.
-Utah -3.5 at Wash St. They HAVE to win a game they should at SOME point.
-Stanford -18 home against Cal. The "wrath of Andrew Luck" doesn't sounds very cool, but it exists.
-Ohio St. -7 home against Penn State. Hate to pick on the Sad Valley folks, but...
-Houston -20 home against SMU. Case saw Luck possibly go down for Heisman. He is going to take it easy and only throw 7 touchdowns.
-Miami -1 at South Florida. Talent. Bring it before your scholarships are cut.
36. That's all folks. As one shepherd said to the other, I am getting the flock out of here. Or as my movie theme would say, There is a time for diplomacy and a time for action. Diplomacy is dead. Peace.
Monday, November 14, 2011
111411-Hell of an ad for the Boy Scouts...
Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Technology gets better every day. That's fine. But most of the time, all you need is a stick of gum, a pocket knife, and a smile (NOT MACGYVER).
1) The Carrier Classic was worth the price of admission and then some. Maybe you caught some of it. If you did, I hope you a) caught the pregame where it was broken down how this game came to be and why it was so important b) caught the first 10 minutes of the game. Not only was that the only time the out-manned Spartans were in the game, but watching them play before the sun went down was incredible. The ship, the present military personnel, the backdrop of Mission Bay. Absolutely awesome. The mouths being off during the interviews slightly bugged me, but it didn't ruin the country/ bball celebration that was very well done. UNC is just plain good, people. Damn good. I am not saying that I think they are losing any time soon, but if I had to pick on them, here is where I would go. Their outside shooting, or lack of, I believe will lose them a few games. True, they have plenty of athleticism and height inside to rebound all of the possible bricks that might come their way, but I think they are lacking a couple pure shooters. Once again, I am picking. They are freaking good. Henson is going to be GOOD this year. My oh my. Michigan State? They are another typical Michigan State team. A couple players not playing their natural position, a bunch of athletes, well-coached, and they are going to get any rebound that is not directly to someone. They will be dangerous, but their lack of a true point guard bothers me. Good group of players though, and they have the coach to mold them into a very dangerous tourney team. Just give Mr. Izzo a 7 or 8 regional ranking and try not to be surprised when he is in the Elite Eight. Broken record.
2) Final note on my last point. Izzo is famous for scheduling an early tough schedule. Uhhh. Tomorrow? Duke. Wow.
3) Tiger Woods didn't win in Australia this weekend. I don't think this is the recent usual "he has lost it" thing. He was focused the first two rounds, and from the highlights I saw, his swing looked good. No real trouble in those first two days. It was vintage Woods. The third day, he had a very inconsistent round. What I think overshadowed that round was that he rebounded for a very under control 67. Seriously, people. Everyone practice this fall and winter season, but we have not heard the last of El Tigre.
4) Sometimes we talk about "trap" games. I am writing this while watching the Packers/ Vikings game. I have a feeling that this is NOT a trap game...just an shellacking in waiting. This take was written with the Pack up 7-0 in the first quarter and getting ball back.
5) I wrote last time about the Marlins pursuing Reyes and Buehrle. Now, Pujols? I guess since the other threesome didn't work as of yet, they might as well try baseball. Keep watching this. Combine this with arguably the 3 best managerial positions available, and this offseason has become kind of fun.
6) Want to never complain out loud about being broke? Go see 58: The Film. For you non-church people, I admit it has some church stuff in it, but it is not overdone. As far as a pure documentary, you will leave the showing feeling very humbled.
7) 20 years can change things. Andre Ware won the Heisman in 1989 at the University of Houston. Case Keenum is throwing 9 TD's in games and can't get a sniff. Weird.
8) Greg Jennings just caught a TD pass, which pretty much guarantees that I won my 5th straight fantasy football game. Kind of anti-climatic though, with the news that Matt Schaub might be out for the year. I am not interested in being Even Steven (YES. I NOTICED my lack of Seinfeld references in the last few rants). I would go throw a 20 dollar bill out the window, but it would be anti-climatic as I live on the 1st floor.
9) Here is your useless fact to say in front of your friends at parties. See? I am here for you. This is a stat that will make you sound good. I actually didn't believe it at first. Here you go. Nebraska's win at Sad Valley was the Huskers' first ROAD win over a top 15 AP team since 1997. What? You think that is boring? I beg to differ. I think that stat is fancy.
10) Is it me, or for the last 15 years or so, does Virginia Tech always lose in its first 3 games and then run the table? They are 9-1. I ALWAYS see that they are 9-1 at this point in the season. They look pretty solid to run it again this year. EXCEPT. No, I won't go all UVA homer on you. Just saying. Virginia is hot, and we get them in Charlottesville. Am I calling my shot? No. I have been in pain for a long time with my Cavaliers (our basketball team is a sleeper-watch out). That being said. I am just saying that it could be a TRAP game. With my luck, and with his ties to PSU, London is going to win that game and then get calls from Penn State to be coach. We finally get a solid coach, and now a program where he is going to be on the list, becomes vacant after like 10,000 years. Sweet.
11) The Big Ten has taken Paterno's name off the title trophy. This is just going to get so much worse. Sucks. I heard that Sandusky's statement is online. I don't know about you, but I can't read it yet. I am personally not ready to read details about this shit. This would be the absolutely (kind of odd parallel to this serious story coming-WARNING) polar opposite of me finding out from my buddy that Paris Hilton had sex tapes on the internet like 12 years ago. I RAN to that site. This one? I might be one of the last people to read it.
12) Whatever happens on any site's wire about Rex Ryan, I believe I will believe just about anything about that guy. The story said that the NFL is taking a look at Rex cursing out a fan. Sky is blue, and the grass is green, and you could tell me that he mooned the ref, streaked the field, assaulted a fan, and then jet packed out of the stadium. My response would be "right on. I see that happening."
13) Does anyone else find it ironic that we hear stories all season about the Dodgers and bankruptcy/ change of ownership? Then, today, they sign Matt Kemp to a $160 million contract. Just odd.
14) Sky is blue, grass is green, and the Pack are up 17-0 now with 9 minutes left in 2nd qtr. Side note. Hey, Christian. When you run a flee-flicker, you are not supposed to throw it in double coverage. just a thought. You should have pondered throwing it somewhere else. Hardy har har.
15) Kahne wins the NASCAR race. Edwards keeps the lead. No one turned right. Just reporting it, people.
16) Vick played with 2 broken ribs in the Arizona game. Way to be tough, dog. He he he.
17) Knowshon Moreno is done for the year. I am not saying that Tebow wasn't going to win any more games completing 2 passes for the game. I am just saying this doesn't help.
18) Mike Matheny is the new Cardinals manager. I like the hire. Unlike hockey, where the same 10 guys are managing 30 teams. I SWEAR they are. New blood. Nice hire. He has a championship, is a class act, and people will listen to him. Now someone hire Ryne Sandberg and I will be happy.
19) The Sabres lose Ryan Miller. So, basically, the Sabres lose their team. That dude has carried that team since...Dominick Hasek was good.
20) Someone commented on my Tim Legler reference last time. I know. I make some very odd parallels. For example, in this one, who else can fit Paris Hilton into a Penn State take? This is stream of consciousness, people. I Google as little as possible (mostly spelling), and come out with some weird shit. I am aware of this. Just go with the flow. I re-read the Legler reference. I still like it.
21) Kimbrel and Hellickson (I didn't look up spelling on either) are named the top rookies for MLB. Evidently, a down year for rookies, because I almost had to look up both players.
22) Joe Frazier's funeral was this weekend. RIP man. Warrior.
23) You have Rocky. You have Gladiator. You have a few others. 300 was on after the Carrier Classic. I almost left my apartment trying to walk through my first story wall. It didn't work out, but just saying that I THOUGHT about it.
24) I always get really excited when I get the Aflac trivia questions right. This week was easy. Herschel Walker. The question? Who beat John Elway for the Heisman. Come on. Easy one.
25) STEPFAN? That is the weirdest spelling for Stephan yet. He is the running back for Stanford if you didn't know. Speaking of the Cardinal, speed beat power...decisively. By the way, there were at least 3 drops in the first 35 minutes by a Luck pass that could have changed the game. Inexcusable. Yes, I was proud I went on record on that game. Did I think it was going to be that easy? Absolutely not. But, they won. Going for 2 on their FIRST TD in the first qtr? Awesome. Oregon is reminding me of FSU in 1998 when they got smoked by NC STATE in the second game and then ran the table. Bad comparison in the way that NC State is much different then losing to LSU 40-27. Good comparison in the way that the rule is "LOSE EARLY." You just knew how the 2nd half was going to go. Oregon is one of the best 2nd half adjustment teams in the FBS. The fact that they were already winning was like picking the Pack against the Vikings in this game. Done. and Done. BCS check in. LSU. Trap games. At home Nov 25 against Arkansas. OSU. Trap game? None. I have said since OU lost to Texas Tech that they would smoke OSU at Bedlam. I am sticking by it. Boise loses because of a FG kicker again. Talk about losing sleep at night. Bama is just hanging there, and only have a Auburn game that is missing some guy named Cam Newton. The BCS doesn't like me, because they know that if everyone wins out, there is no controversy. I say we are going to have a HUGE debate. LSU probably wins out, OSU gets beat, Bama wins out, and then we have the controversy of LSU, Bama, OU, and Oregon for the debate. Playoff anyone? Want to adopt my 6 team playoff system and have it settled correctly? Yup.
26) If I'm walking into a shit storm, I wanna know which way the wind is blowing.
27) De'Anthony Thomas is downright scary. Tabbed by Snoop Dogg the Black Mamba (take THAT, Kobe), that reception he had in the game was sick. Also, sick. Joe Adams' kickoff return. Check it out. He plays for Arkansas. B-A-D-A-S-S.
28) Glad the Stanford/ Oregon game was called by Musburger and Herbstreit. Great tandem.
29) The halftime pre-game praying by the Nebraska and Penn State players was one of the oddest, saddest, and coolest things I have ever seen.
30) Federer gets his 800th victory. If it wasn't for him suddenly becoming Nadal's bitch, we might celebrate more. You should have pulled a Tracy Austin and retired about 6 years ago. Then, we would be just wondering how many titles you would have won instead of pondering if you are even the best player in OUR generation.
31) Even though I am sad that it is my last issue and now I have to find a new magazine, I received the 125th Anniversary issue of Sporting News. It will keep me busy for a while. It has lists galore. I love lists, and am passionate about SPORTS lists. I just opened to TWO pages of the 152 page issue, and this is what is on the two pages. Bird-Magic, Len Bias (I still have his autographed sneaker from basketball camp), Hand of God goal, Bill Buckner, The Drive, SMU's death penalty, Clemens 20k game, the '86 Bears, Nicklaus wins Masters, and...Gretzky. Wow.
32) Carson Palmer wins a game. The Chargers must have just watched Seinfeld. They are pulling a Bizarro Jerry. They are supposed to be shitty early and good late, not vise versa. HELLO!
Bad Bye!
33) The Phils get Jonathan Papelbon. In a related story, Ruben Amaro is presently at a strip club with Dan Snyder. Metta World Peace is hopefully on the way.
34) Bad call about Texas, but I still went 5-3 against the spread. Vandy, Mich St., Arkansas, Oregon, ND...wins. Texas, Boise, Bama...losses. I lost Bama by a point a half.
35) 24-0. 9:27 in third. Damn, I wish I had money and wasn't retired.
36) I just saw that Shaq ripped more people in his new book. Can we wait for this list, can the person reporting it read the entire book first, and then just release all of the people he bitches AT ONCE?
37) McQueary is put on "leave." Shut down EVERYTHING. Get rid of EVERYONE. Clean house, people. You want to heal first, of course. However, if you want to get recruits, you have to show that you are serious about changing things up. You might have to recruit into the Amish community for a few years, but you will be ok.
38) I don't want a full length film, but can we make a mini movie about Wilson Ramos? Just the gunfight scene. No Oscars will be won, but it would be like a mini version of Man on Fire and Taken.
39) US Soccer loses to France in a friendly. Someone tell me when something good happens to US Soccer. I have already said. I am going to the 2014 World Cup. I am GOING. Can the US at least be a factor? Jeez.
40) Andre Johnson is out again. I am sorry to my fraternity bro for approving that Johnson trade about 8 weeks ago. Sorry, Scott.
41) Sometimes legend just sneaks up on you. Wow. Coach K is about to become the all time leading winningest coach in D-1 history.
42) NBA. You guys are fucking idiots. Seriously.
43) Dos Santos KO's Velasquez for the UFC title. In a side story, Kyle Busch did something also this week and was in the news. I admit when I don't know something, and I have no jokes or commentary on either of these topics.
44) Hey, Soonergirl. Awesome comment on last blog. Your T-shirt is in the mail. They still sell magic markers at stores. Did anyone know that?
45) Two of my favorite people in life love Seinfeld and sports. One of them was my best man at my almost wedding in San Diego. The other? Someone I don't work with anymore. RJ. Bro, I hope you read this thing still. The first? He is coming to Denver in a couple weeks, and we will talk for hours about sports and Seinfeld and have people a few feet away from us no have any clue we are talking about them. RJ? We had one of my favorite conversations ever. We were breaking down when I might meet a girl for a long term relationship. We figured out that because of college football, NFL football, NBA basketball, college bball, hockey, etc., that my only window is from the end of June to late August. Well, the reason I am bringing this up is because tomorrow starts the end of any possibility. College bball. Check out this lineup. Florida/ OSU. Duke/ MSU. Belmont/ Memphis. SD St./ Baylor. GMU/ Virginia Tech. UK/ KU. Wow. Along with others. Don't call me. I won't answer.
46) I thought spies drank martinis. Scotch. Never less than 12 years old. I am out. Talk to you Thursday. Peace.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Technology gets better every day. That's fine. But most of the time, all you need is a stick of gum, a pocket knife, and a smile (NOT MACGYVER).
1) The Carrier Classic was worth the price of admission and then some. Maybe you caught some of it. If you did, I hope you a) caught the pregame where it was broken down how this game came to be and why it was so important b) caught the first 10 minutes of the game. Not only was that the only time the out-manned Spartans were in the game, but watching them play before the sun went down was incredible. The ship, the present military personnel, the backdrop of Mission Bay. Absolutely awesome. The mouths being off during the interviews slightly bugged me, but it didn't ruin the country/ bball celebration that was very well done. UNC is just plain good, people. Damn good. I am not saying that I think they are losing any time soon, but if I had to pick on them, here is where I would go. Their outside shooting, or lack of, I believe will lose them a few games. True, they have plenty of athleticism and height inside to rebound all of the possible bricks that might come their way, but I think they are lacking a couple pure shooters. Once again, I am picking. They are freaking good. Henson is going to be GOOD this year. My oh my. Michigan State? They are another typical Michigan State team. A couple players not playing their natural position, a bunch of athletes, well-coached, and they are going to get any rebound that is not directly to someone. They will be dangerous, but their lack of a true point guard bothers me. Good group of players though, and they have the coach to mold them into a very dangerous tourney team. Just give Mr. Izzo a 7 or 8 regional ranking and try not to be surprised when he is in the Elite Eight. Broken record.
2) Final note on my last point. Izzo is famous for scheduling an early tough schedule. Uhhh. Tomorrow? Duke. Wow.
3) Tiger Woods didn't win in Australia this weekend. I don't think this is the recent usual "he has lost it" thing. He was focused the first two rounds, and from the highlights I saw, his swing looked good. No real trouble in those first two days. It was vintage Woods. The third day, he had a very inconsistent round. What I think overshadowed that round was that he rebounded for a very under control 67. Seriously, people. Everyone practice this fall and winter season, but we have not heard the last of El Tigre.
4) Sometimes we talk about "trap" games. I am writing this while watching the Packers/ Vikings game. I have a feeling that this is NOT a trap game...just an shellacking in waiting. This take was written with the Pack up 7-0 in the first quarter and getting ball back.
5) I wrote last time about the Marlins pursuing Reyes and Buehrle. Now, Pujols? I guess since the other threesome didn't work as of yet, they might as well try baseball. Keep watching this. Combine this with arguably the 3 best managerial positions available, and this offseason has become kind of fun.
6) Want to never complain out loud about being broke? Go see 58: The Film. For you non-church people, I admit it has some church stuff in it, but it is not overdone. As far as a pure documentary, you will leave the showing feeling very humbled.
7) 20 years can change things. Andre Ware won the Heisman in 1989 at the University of Houston. Case Keenum is throwing 9 TD's in games and can't get a sniff. Weird.
8) Greg Jennings just caught a TD pass, which pretty much guarantees that I won my 5th straight fantasy football game. Kind of anti-climatic though, with the news that Matt Schaub might be out for the year. I am not interested in being Even Steven (YES. I NOTICED my lack of Seinfeld references in the last few rants). I would go throw a 20 dollar bill out the window, but it would be anti-climatic as I live on the 1st floor.
9) Here is your useless fact to say in front of your friends at parties. See? I am here for you. This is a stat that will make you sound good. I actually didn't believe it at first. Here you go. Nebraska's win at Sad Valley was the Huskers' first ROAD win over a top 15 AP team since 1997. What? You think that is boring? I beg to differ. I think that stat is fancy.
10) Is it me, or for the last 15 years or so, does Virginia Tech always lose in its first 3 games and then run the table? They are 9-1. I ALWAYS see that they are 9-1 at this point in the season. They look pretty solid to run it again this year. EXCEPT. No, I won't go all UVA homer on you. Just saying. Virginia is hot, and we get them in Charlottesville. Am I calling my shot? No. I have been in pain for a long time with my Cavaliers (our basketball team is a sleeper-watch out). That being said. I am just saying that it could be a TRAP game. With my luck, and with his ties to PSU, London is going to win that game and then get calls from Penn State to be coach. We finally get a solid coach, and now a program where he is going to be on the list, becomes vacant after like 10,000 years. Sweet.
11) The Big Ten has taken Paterno's name off the title trophy. This is just going to get so much worse. Sucks. I heard that Sandusky's statement is online. I don't know about you, but I can't read it yet. I am personally not ready to read details about this shit. This would be the absolutely (kind of odd parallel to this serious story coming-WARNING) polar opposite of me finding out from my buddy that Paris Hilton had sex tapes on the internet like 12 years ago. I RAN to that site. This one? I might be one of the last people to read it.
12) Whatever happens on any site's wire about Rex Ryan, I believe I will believe just about anything about that guy. The story said that the NFL is taking a look at Rex cursing out a fan. Sky is blue, and the grass is green, and you could tell me that he mooned the ref, streaked the field, assaulted a fan, and then jet packed out of the stadium. My response would be "right on. I see that happening."
13) Does anyone else find it ironic that we hear stories all season about the Dodgers and bankruptcy/ change of ownership? Then, today, they sign Matt Kemp to a $160 million contract. Just odd.
14) Sky is blue, grass is green, and the Pack are up 17-0 now with 9 minutes left in 2nd qtr. Side note. Hey, Christian. When you run a flee-flicker, you are not supposed to throw it in double coverage. just a thought. You should have pondered throwing it somewhere else. Hardy har har.
15) Kahne wins the NASCAR race. Edwards keeps the lead. No one turned right. Just reporting it, people.
16) Vick played with 2 broken ribs in the Arizona game. Way to be tough, dog. He he he.
17) Knowshon Moreno is done for the year. I am not saying that Tebow wasn't going to win any more games completing 2 passes for the game. I am just saying this doesn't help.
18) Mike Matheny is the new Cardinals manager. I like the hire. Unlike hockey, where the same 10 guys are managing 30 teams. I SWEAR they are. New blood. Nice hire. He has a championship, is a class act, and people will listen to him. Now someone hire Ryne Sandberg and I will be happy.
19) The Sabres lose Ryan Miller. So, basically, the Sabres lose their team. That dude has carried that team since...Dominick Hasek was good.
20) Someone commented on my Tim Legler reference last time. I know. I make some very odd parallels. For example, in this one, who else can fit Paris Hilton into a Penn State take? This is stream of consciousness, people. I Google as little as possible (mostly spelling), and come out with some weird shit. I am aware of this. Just go with the flow. I re-read the Legler reference. I still like it.
21) Kimbrel and Hellickson (I didn't look up spelling on either) are named the top rookies for MLB. Evidently, a down year for rookies, because I almost had to look up both players.
22) Joe Frazier's funeral was this weekend. RIP man. Warrior.
23) You have Rocky. You have Gladiator. You have a few others. 300 was on after the Carrier Classic. I almost left my apartment trying to walk through my first story wall. It didn't work out, but just saying that I THOUGHT about it.
24) I always get really excited when I get the Aflac trivia questions right. This week was easy. Herschel Walker. The question? Who beat John Elway for the Heisman. Come on. Easy one.
25) STEPFAN? That is the weirdest spelling for Stephan yet. He is the running back for Stanford if you didn't know. Speaking of the Cardinal, speed beat power...decisively. By the way, there were at least 3 drops in the first 35 minutes by a Luck pass that could have changed the game. Inexcusable. Yes, I was proud I went on record on that game. Did I think it was going to be that easy? Absolutely not. But, they won. Going for 2 on their FIRST TD in the first qtr? Awesome. Oregon is reminding me of FSU in 1998 when they got smoked by NC STATE in the second game and then ran the table. Bad comparison in the way that NC State is much different then losing to LSU 40-27. Good comparison in the way that the rule is "LOSE EARLY." You just knew how the 2nd half was going to go. Oregon is one of the best 2nd half adjustment teams in the FBS. The fact that they were already winning was like picking the Pack against the Vikings in this game. Done. and Done. BCS check in. LSU. Trap games. At home Nov 25 against Arkansas. OSU. Trap game? None. I have said since OU lost to Texas Tech that they would smoke OSU at Bedlam. I am sticking by it. Boise loses because of a FG kicker again. Talk about losing sleep at night. Bama is just hanging there, and only have a Auburn game that is missing some guy named Cam Newton. The BCS doesn't like me, because they know that if everyone wins out, there is no controversy. I say we are going to have a HUGE debate. LSU probably wins out, OSU gets beat, Bama wins out, and then we have the controversy of LSU, Bama, OU, and Oregon for the debate. Playoff anyone? Want to adopt my 6 team playoff system and have it settled correctly? Yup.
26) If I'm walking into a shit storm, I wanna know which way the wind is blowing.
27) De'Anthony Thomas is downright scary. Tabbed by Snoop Dogg the Black Mamba (take THAT, Kobe), that reception he had in the game was sick. Also, sick. Joe Adams' kickoff return. Check it out. He plays for Arkansas. B-A-D-A-S-S.
28) Glad the Stanford/ Oregon game was called by Musburger and Herbstreit. Great tandem.
29) The halftime pre-game praying by the Nebraska and Penn State players was one of the oddest, saddest, and coolest things I have ever seen.
30) Federer gets his 800th victory. If it wasn't for him suddenly becoming Nadal's bitch, we might celebrate more. You should have pulled a Tracy Austin and retired about 6 years ago. Then, we would be just wondering how many titles you would have won instead of pondering if you are even the best player in OUR generation.
31) Even though I am sad that it is my last issue and now I have to find a new magazine, I received the 125th Anniversary issue of Sporting News. It will keep me busy for a while. It has lists galore. I love lists, and am passionate about SPORTS lists. I just opened to TWO pages of the 152 page issue, and this is what is on the two pages. Bird-Magic, Len Bias (I still have his autographed sneaker from basketball camp), Hand of God goal, Bill Buckner, The Drive, SMU's death penalty, Clemens 20k game, the '86 Bears, Nicklaus wins Masters, and...Gretzky. Wow.
32) Carson Palmer wins a game. The Chargers must have just watched Seinfeld. They are pulling a Bizarro Jerry. They are supposed to be shitty early and good late, not vise versa. HELLO!
Bad Bye!
33) The Phils get Jonathan Papelbon. In a related story, Ruben Amaro is presently at a strip club with Dan Snyder. Metta World Peace is hopefully on the way.
34) Bad call about Texas, but I still went 5-3 against the spread. Vandy, Mich St., Arkansas, Oregon, ND...wins. Texas, Boise, Bama...losses. I lost Bama by a point a half.
35) 24-0. 9:27 in third. Damn, I wish I had money and wasn't retired.
36) I just saw that Shaq ripped more people in his new book. Can we wait for this list, can the person reporting it read the entire book first, and then just release all of the people he bitches AT ONCE?
37) McQueary is put on "leave." Shut down EVERYTHING. Get rid of EVERYONE. Clean house, people. You want to heal first, of course. However, if you want to get recruits, you have to show that you are serious about changing things up. You might have to recruit into the Amish community for a few years, but you will be ok.
38) I don't want a full length film, but can we make a mini movie about Wilson Ramos? Just the gunfight scene. No Oscars will be won, but it would be like a mini version of Man on Fire and Taken.
39) US Soccer loses to France in a friendly. Someone tell me when something good happens to US Soccer. I have already said. I am going to the 2014 World Cup. I am GOING. Can the US at least be a factor? Jeez.
40) Andre Johnson is out again. I am sorry to my fraternity bro for approving that Johnson trade about 8 weeks ago. Sorry, Scott.
41) Sometimes legend just sneaks up on you. Wow. Coach K is about to become the all time leading winningest coach in D-1 history.
42) NBA. You guys are fucking idiots. Seriously.
43) Dos Santos KO's Velasquez for the UFC title. In a side story, Kyle Busch did something also this week and was in the news. I admit when I don't know something, and I have no jokes or commentary on either of these topics.
44) Hey, Soonergirl. Awesome comment on last blog. Your T-shirt is in the mail. They still sell magic markers at stores. Did anyone know that?
45) Two of my favorite people in life love Seinfeld and sports. One of them was my best man at my almost wedding in San Diego. The other? Someone I don't work with anymore. RJ. Bro, I hope you read this thing still. The first? He is coming to Denver in a couple weeks, and we will talk for hours about sports and Seinfeld and have people a few feet away from us no have any clue we are talking about them. RJ? We had one of my favorite conversations ever. We were breaking down when I might meet a girl for a long term relationship. We figured out that because of college football, NFL football, NBA basketball, college bball, hockey, etc., that my only window is from the end of June to late August. Well, the reason I am bringing this up is because tomorrow starts the end of any possibility. College bball. Check out this lineup. Florida/ OSU. Duke/ MSU. Belmont/ Memphis. SD St./ Baylor. GMU/ Virginia Tech. UK/ KU. Wow. Along with others. Don't call me. I won't answer.
46) I thought spies drank martinis. Scotch. Never less than 12 years old. I am out. Talk to you Thursday. Peace.
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