Eggs on burgers should be served at every restaurant on earth...let's make it a law.

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


1)  Ok.  Let's just get this out of the way immediately.  I have said since last August how strongly I felt that the Bulls had the goods to win the NBA Championship this year.  The Rose injury kills them.  There are teams that can lose a star player and keep on trucking, and there are teams that are dead in the water.  The Bulls are unfortunately the latter.  Sure, they will beat the Sixers, probably still in five games or so.  After that, it gets tricky.  Forget the problems with eventually facing the Heat.  They will most likely not get by either Atlanta or the Celtics.  Pick your poison.  Heinrich won't exactly eat up the combination of James, Watson, and Lucas (how many freaking PG's do the Bulls HAVE), but the talent elsewhere will help Atlanta prevail.  In the other possibility, Rondo will go wild.  I guess I will have to revise my overall predictions also.  Give me either the Spurs or OKC in seven over the Heat.  TOTAL shame that the public doesn't get to experience the brilliance of Derrick Rose for another playoffs.  We will miss ya, kid.


2)  Not saying he won't recover from his slow start, because he IS that talented, and not saying he is slacking because he is now officially long term paid because I don't think he rolls that way.  I am just mentioning it.  Pujols is about 100 AB's into the new season.  Zero HR's.  AND 19 straight AB's without a hit.  Dude, this wasn't supposed to happen until about 5 years into your contract. You are starting to fade FAST.


3)  Previously just a #1 draft pick and easily the best prospect in the last few years outside of his pitching buddy Stephen Strasburg, Bryce Harper finally made his MLB debut.  They lost, and he almost did a few really exciting things.  The usual let-down for a new player.  That being said, that throw he had from outfield to home plate that pretty much went on a straight line was pretty freaking sick.  Nice to see a stud at the plate also be a stud in the field.  I have been saying this for a year and a half, do NOT sleep on these Nationals.


4)  North Alabama's Janoris Jenkins, more known for drugs, getting kicked off of top flight UF's football team and then fathering 4 kids from three different mothers, was drafted in the second round.  They might need to assign a chaperone to him even when he is sleeping, but dude might be the purest cover corner in the entire draft.  If you can keep him out of trouble or out of chicks' rooms, then you might have shut down half of the field to throw on.  Good luck with that, Rams.


5)  I LOVE the pickup of Arizona's Nick Foles by the Eagles.  He slipped a little over the last few months in the draft order, but I have liked him from day one (see rants about 3 months ago), and think it is a great pickup for a team who eventually will need to replace their free-for-all, often injured, running Michael Vick.


6)  One of the highlights of this week for me was hearing Hubie Brown's voice announcing an NBA game.  I feel so much better now.  The network was just resting their star player for the playoffs.  Him announcing a basketball game is beautiful and makes any game incredible and informative.  It makes me say names like Chopin and Picasso.  Glad you are back, Hubie.  


7)  The Dallas Mavericks gave OKC all they could handle in game one, going down to a last second Durant jumper at the end of the game.  You knew that this series would be close, and I am not saying some of the remaining games won't be closely contested, but anyone else think (when they were up 7 with 3 minutes to go) that the stars were aligned, their players were on their game, and that Dallas NEEDED to steal that game to take the whole series?  I know, I know.  Experience, experience, championship, chemistry, yada yada yada.  Lots more games to play.  I think Durant and the boys will be a LITTLE more attentive in game 2.


8)  Building on my whole Yankees/ lack of pitching take last rant, this week New York demoted Freddy Garcia to the bullpen for the time being.  Sad day for Garcia.  The Yankees demote him in a week that they had to shutdown ANOTHER starter.  That is like a 2 spot demotion, as opposed to just one spot.  Of course, that is what a 12.51 ERA will get you.


9)  No shows.  The Nuggets lost to the Lakers badly in game 1.  I said I was SLIGHTLY concerned last rant about the interior of the Lakers, but still thought the Nuggets would hold their own and win in 7 games.  Well, I guess Bynum's 10 blocks going along with a triple double take the "slightly" out of my concerned statement, and the Nuggets are elated that basketball is not scored like soccer, where total points are NOT a factor.  Listen, George Karl, see if you can find out where the hell Ty Lawson went after his above average season, and remind them that it is just ONE game, no matter how ugly it was.  It just counts as ONE game.  You can lose 3 games by a total of 100 points, as long as you somehow win four by ONE point.


9a) I LOVE how Bynum said "note to self" in an interview.  Not that I made it up or anything, but let's just say I have more of a liking for him now that he is using one of my lines.  Now, if we can just get him to use the shepherd/ flock one.


10)  In another related knee story, rookie Iman Shumpert went down also with a knee injury.  Forget whether you have heard of him or not.  Forget whether you thought the Knicks have a chance in the first place.  He is without a doubt one of the best on ball perimter defenders in the league...already...and I believe this takes them from "we have a chance if the start align" to "it is what it is.  they are better."   In a related story, David Stern has been quoted saying that the amount of injuries this year has nothing to do with the shortened, compact schedule.  Mr. Stern, you are full of shit.  They have had no recovery/ practice time all year-their bodies will take the toll.  Your only chance with this point is the bottom line that knees just simply aren't made to play basketball-take it from someone who has diminished playing his first love competitively because of tearing up my ACL, MCL, and quad tendon in one shot block landing.  It was game point, and we won by the way.


11)  The Flyers take game 1 of the Devils series, which was amazing since they pulled a Ty Lawson and no-showed in the first 20 minutes.  This team NEVER thinks they will lose.  Any year.  Any group of players.  They quite simply are the most irritating team for ANY team to play in the playoffs year in and year out.  And how about Danny Briere?  Sure, Giroux is the heavyweight present/ future great one.  This little guy is still the leading playoff goal scorer for the team since his arrival.  After getting busted for trying to kick it in, he blasts the game winner and gives the Flyers a great start to the series.  If the Flyers and Rangers both win, that series MIGHT be your Stanley Cup, people, and will be one HELL of a series.


12)  Widespread Panic, my favorite band, is not touring this year, as the old fellows need a well-deserved year off of touring.  That being the case, perhaps I can finally see some OTHER bands this summer.  Being reminded by every time an NBA game goes to commercial with their new song playing, this is my absolute priority this summer.  Linkin Park.  They play at our local amphitheater (wow, I spelled it right) this August with Incubus.  Count.  Me.  In.


13)  The Knicks got smoked in the opener with the Heat.  Did anyone else catch one of the all-generational, all-fluff players doing some fancy between the legs moves DOWN 30?  JR Smith.  You are truly a different breed.  It is SUCH a shame to have one of the sweetest three point shots in the game and largest verticals for a player your size absolutely STIFLED by the fact that you don't have a clue.


14)  One of the odd events of the draft.  Mohamed Sanu was one of the top receivers on the NFL draft board late first round.  The Rutgers product was pegged to be possibly picked by the WR light Cincinnati Bengals.  He gets a phone call.  He was told he was drafted, just as another name goes up on TV, making the call a vicious prank.  The odd part of the story is that even after all that, he made it through two more rounds, and then was drafted in the third round...by the Bengals.  I will be rooting for you, kid, and not just because you went to school in Jersey.


15)  Poke me.  Alarm clock, go off.  Did I REALLY just see a commercial for a new series on TV...Dallas?  Did I?  PLEASE rename it "we are officially out of new ideas."


16)  Arizona State's LB Vontaze Burfict literally nose dived over the last year and a half.  Dude goes from a first round All-American LOCK to UNDRAFTED.  Videos and stories galore about how bad the guy was in the locker room and to opponents, a sub par combine workout, and it all scared EVERYONE away (which is odd, since usually SOME team takes the idiots).  Odd thing about this is this.  Dude didn't even have a sub par season and then graduate.  Dude had a sub par season and then CHOSE to leave early.  Leaving early in basketball is one thing since there are only two rounds.  There are SEVEN freaking rounds.  Did you even have ANYONE ask about your worth?


17)  Say what you want about the Redskins oddly drafting pro-style Kirk Cousins after moving up to take RGII at #2. Commend the Pats on their odd, but effective move ups in the draft.  I am SO glad how my team, the Steelers, draft year in and year out.  They didn't move up or down in any round, they literally checked off their four glaring needs in the first four rounds, and are now officially reloaded.  I would say more, but I have mandated that my blog can't be too homer based.  That is it.  Moving on.


18)  I hear that Matt Leinart has visited the Raiders.  This is like deja-vu, with a slight role reversal.  When Leinart backed up Palmer at USC, the only thing you knew for SURE was that there was no way Palmer was being replaced except if an injury occurred.  Now, if Leinart signs with the Raiders, you can pretty much EXPECT a controversy.  Leinart has experience, and looked good in that brief half of football when he replaced Matt Schaub at Houston.  The MOMENT things go south for Palmer, Leinart will take the spot.


18a)  Speaking of deja-vu, I think I need to see that Denzel Washington movie again.  Although I sort of enjoyed the movie, I have to admit that I was flow charting shit on paper the second time around.  The whole changing pasts and future thing confuses me.  Back to the Future did it right.  It didn't make me overthink.  Deja-Vu took it to another more confusing level. It went DEEP.  Multi-layered future shit going on in that one.  


19)  Hey, Tim Tebow, I am rather enjoying not reading about you every day in Denver.  Can you slow down on the freaking T-Shirt commercials that seem to be every other page in my Men's Fitness and ESPN mag?  Come on.  Cut me a break.


20)  I was at a fancy restaurant the other night (I had a coupon-the Fillerbuster's stomach, tapeworm, and wallet don't really dig fancy places).  I decided to try the soup of the "moment," as they called it. All I heard was salmon, onions, potatoes, and cream.  I missed the "cold" part of the description.  It came cold.  I took one bite.  I could taste the deliciousness, yet could NOT get by the fact that this anomaly felt like it would taste SO good heated up, but evidently that was against the rules of the ingredients in it.  Someone figure that shit out.  There HAS to be a way.


20a) Oddly, the fancy restaurant, at the top of their entree list, had a burger with cheddar and egg on it...sunny side up.  Here, I was thinking my way through duck, lamb, and terms that 14 years of sports bar experience didn't even teach me, and it ended up being the best damn burger I ever have had.  I went to UVA.  There was a place called The Spot.  When you had a late night, you went and oddly got a burger with an egg on it, and then you just told people that you went to the spot and did that, and then they didn't even NEED details of your night.  Now, I am older.  I am supposedly more mature.  All I know is THIS.  A burger with a sunny side up egg on it is the best tasting thing EVER.


21)  Interesting fact, like him or hate him, about Kobe Bryant.  It was interesting that he sat the last game when he had a chance to win the scoring title.  He must have read his own stat history.  He has only won the scoring title two times.  He also has not made the playoffs two times.  Yup.  Those would be the same years.


22)  Odd that Mr. Irrelevant (Northern Illinois QB Chandler Harnish) joins the most celebrated QB draft pick since John Elway on the Indianapolis Colts.  Talk about an odd growing friendship.


23)  Family Guy is the only show that can show Peter dipping a fountain pen (funny in context of course) and say the simple words "dip, dip, dip" while reloading the pen and somehow still make me laugh out loud.


24)  ASU's Brock Osweiler was drafted by the Broncos.  Something tells me this kid is excited.  He will learn from Peyton, and gets to hang with his best friend's dad (Elway) all the time.  Someone get me a flow chart.


25)  Referring back to previous rant where I almost laughed when a nearby bar patron was watching a Wisconsin game and immediately assumed since the kid was good that he would go near the top of the draft.  True, Russell Wilson got screwed by not growing more, but just saying that he was drafted where I said he would be drafted...in the third round.  Google "charlie ward," bar patron.  Odd thing about this is it was by the Seahawks.  You have a VERY, VERY odd depth chart over there, Mr. Carroll.


26)  Genetics.  Glad to know that Al Toon's son, Nick, was drafted to be playing the same position.  Al Toon played the position about as methodically as you can play the position without being the tallest, strongest, or fastest.  He was also a class act.  I will be rooting for you, Nick, just because of your genes.


27)  I think I am a movie snob.  I went to see 21 Jump Street.  It was really, really funny for about 45 minutes.  Then, to me, it went over the top.  The oddity about my "snobbiness" is that even though some of the most critically acclaimed movies disappoint me, somehow I still rave about The Karate Kid, Rocky IV, and Top Gun.  I should put myself in that bubble place I talk shit about others to.  I guess I might be in a movie bubble.  I am going to go play Trivia Pursuit after this rant...in upstate New York.  Moors.


28)  Jason Dufner aka "I always am in the first 3 players in Major's first two rounds recently" (we might need an acronym for that nickname-sorry), won this week's PGA Tour event.  I am happy for the kid.  He has serious game and a personality on the course that seems really likable.  I hope this win carries over to more important victories.


29)  Does anyone else think that Jay Mohr being on the Ghost Whisperer violate SOME rule of being a man?  The guy, who I personally came to know when he started calling into the Jim Rome show and then eventually started subbing in for him, literally makes fun of EVERYONE in his path for his act and when he is on the mic.  I KNOW you want to be successful in your acting career, Jay, but the Ghost Whisperer?  Kind of is a downer for me being a huge fan of yours.


29a)  Not that you read this, Jay, but I KNOW the obvious comeback.  You are rich, famous, and are on TV, and I am blogging to 1200 hits a month.  I get it, but do you get where I was going on that one?  It STILL is funny.


30)  I am watching the OKC/ Dallas NBA game.  I have seen college games where they give out fan shirts.  I have seen NBA games where they give out fan shirts.  I am VERY impressed as the camera scrolls over the crowd.  About 95% of the crowd has the shirts on.  It is actually pretty freaking cool, and mind blowing for the stereotypical, more apathetic NBA fan.  That town LOVES them.


31)  This is the first year in a while that I can't see ANYONE (except maybe Nashville) beating ANYONE (except maybe the Devils) who comes out of the East in the NHL playoffs.  Don't see it happening, unless one of my parentheses disclaimers comes true.


32)  If you want to shiver a little more when you are watching the sweetest sport in the world next time, check out this photo.  This is a photo of a guy who lost, but didn't even get knocked out on this exact punch (ok, it was the NEXT one-go figure),  Anyway, this is just called perfect photographer timing on a timely, powerful punch.  It still gives you a good taste of the glory of how these guys do it.  Damn, I LOVE boxing.  http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/boxing/tony-pietrantonio-takes-punch-ll-remember-long-time-183510057.html

33)  Rajon Rondo.  It WAS a bad call.  I get it.  You CAN'T touch the freaking ref.  Playoffs is about 30% of being smarter and more cool than the others.  The general rule of thumb in every round is that the road team NEEDS to steal one of the first two games to have a chance.  Well, you just shot that theory with your shenanigans.  You CAN'T help your team from the sidelines.  Side note.  Another classic, simple Charles Barkleyism.  "It is a touchy thing when touching an official" (in an NBA game).  Love you, Chuck.


34)  Love him or hate him, you HAVE to admit this guy works hard at his recruiting.  Yes, since he has a title, I kind of HAVE to come around-at least until he gets busted for cheating.  http://johnclay.bloginky.com/2012/04/29/calipari-checking-out-troy-williams-james-young/#


35)  I just watched Dirk Nowitzki get into it with Kendrick Perkins. Wow, Dirk.  I LOVE it.  You already have a ring, and they don't.  You know they have the more talented team, and I am loving you showing us once again that there IS fight in players born across the pond.  OKC can win.  Dirk, YOU have changed this game forever with your odd mix of height and skill.  Odd that if OKC wins, you could pretty much say that Durant is the next version of what you created.


36)  I say time and time again how cool my church is.  This past week, we had baptisms on stage.  Except baptisms aren't done with a little cannister of Holy Water at our crib.  They brought a portable swimming pool on stage.  They say a little something of why they are doing it, and then FULLY submerge them.  Classic, and awesome.  For you Denver locals, this is where you want to check out.  http://pathwayschurch.org/


37)  They are my rival, but I like Virginia Tech's style.  They get rid of Greenberg, and most probably expected a big name hire to inject energy into their fanbase and their talented squad.  What do they do?  They go in house, and hire former assistant James Johnson.  Not flashy, but someone who was involved in some of the recruits coming there in the first place.  Good stuff.  Poor man's version of replacing Sean Payton.


38)  MLB.  You JUST changed the playoff format.  Now, I hear you want to mess with interleague play and its setup.  SLOW DOWN.  Can you break one crazy plan in to us a year, and not totally change everything up in the greatest traditional sport we have?


39)  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and when you get the worst winning percentage in history, you probably WILL get fired.  Paul Silas, I will watch the wire to see where you turn up next.  In your defense, you were playing poker with about 20 cards this year.


40)  The Kreuger episode with George replacing his boss's photo in a photo where he is in it is really funny.  I know, I know.  I couldn't tell you ONE bad episode of Seinfeld, just like I couldn't pinpoint a bad Zeppelin song.  It can't be done.  In a related story, I finally admit it.  2.5 Men is not the same.  Love him or hate him, they CAN'T replace Charlie Sheen.  I wish they would have just had him extradited or something, because death is pretty much something you can't cut your losses and bring him back in a realistic fashion.  Damn.  They need to lose this new chick, too.  The one that hates Alan.  Now that Jake is getting cool, we HAVE to keep this thing going.


41)  It would be more news that Jordan Hill got charged with assault this week IF he actually did anything to help them win.  Dude is going to jail, and the Lakers will ONLY miss his outside shooting.


42)  In another example of why you should NEVER turn off every game in any sport, the Clippers grew up in literally ONE half, and came back form 27 down to win against the Grizzlies.  Why is this important?  Because if your significant other is bitching about leaving because the game is a blowout, put this on the list with Houston/ Buffalo, Pacers/ Knicks with Reggie Miller, etc.  etc.  etc.


43)  Sure, Ray Allen is a future HOF'er.  But, also he is this.  He HAS to play for them to beat the Hawks.  The young, athletic Hawks will NOT be beat by these old guys unless there is spacing because of a dangerous three pt. shooter.  That guy is simply Ray Allen.  He might score 9 pts per game this series, but the THREAT of him is the difference between winning and losing.  Since both teams are licking their chops once Rose went down, this series means basically two series wins.  They might as well start scouting the Heat.


44)  That is it. The whole full time job thing kind of gets in the way.  I hope you enjoyed, and please pass along to anyone who also might enjoy.  Since I don't understand how to spread this thing with technology and social media, I am going the old school route.  Word of mouth.  As one shepherd said to the other, I am going to get the flock out of here.  Peace.

If I have to hear "Yamo be there" one more time, I'm going to yamo burn this place to the ground.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care… I just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Let’s turn and burn.  The Airplane Rant.  Time to kill, no internet (a few links added after the flight), no elbow room to type, but still plenty to say.

1) Two stories sadden the Fillerbuster this week and remind me of how we should be living our life.  Delmon Young and a “hate crime.”  Capitals Joel Ward gets bombarded with racist tweets after game winner.  Hey, Delmon and you twitter people involved in this, just a little advice for you on your path in life.  If you are in a sentence with the terms “hate crime” and “racist tweets” and are not the victim, you are most likely living your life the wrong way.  Go look in the mirror and do some re-evaluating.

2) The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Floyd was on the wire this week.  Floyd Mayweather, one of the captain’s on the Rant’s in-house team came out this week and reminded everyone that he DID actually want the Pacquiao fight, and that his team DID try and set the fight up for this May.  What DIDN’T seem to re-enter this “conversation” was the fact that his side wanted a 70-30 split.  Seriously, I joke about the whole living in a bubble thing, but let me know the next time Floyd says something that DOESN’T make you think he is not upstate in New York playing Trivia Pursuit.

3) If you see Tony Romo at the airport or at a hotel, run up and give that guy a high five, or pat him on the back.  Just make him feel good, because evidently he is going out of his way to let us know he is serious for this year’s NFL season, and has said that he is NOT training and trying out for his dream, the US Open like past years.  Ummm, Tony?  That is what MOST NFL players are doing…thinking about next year’s football season.  Good job, bro.  Way to come around.

4) Congratulations to Paul Konerko.  Paul hit his 400^th home run this week.  Does anyone else feel like we will all be 2 or 3 phases down the road of our life and Paul will still be belting away home runs for his 27^th team?  It might not feel as long as Case Keenum was in college, but still will feel like some time has gone by.  I think Rip Van Winkle might be awake for the 450^th jack.

5) JeVale McGee might be one of the best athletes in the NBA right now.  Truly, the guy is big, strong, and can jump out of the gym.  Well, if I was one of the best athletes in the NBA, I might use that extraordinary jumping ability to get the f%^& out of the way when Kevin Durant is coming down the lane and doing THIS to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdwNKalj_No

6) I TOLD you all to put Robbie Ross and Lance Lynn on your baseball fantasy team, didn’t I?  It was like 15 rants ago.  Just kidding.  I didn’t, but regardless, those two are two of your first 4 game winners in the MLB.  In a related story, I don’t know WHAT I did without Google. 

7) Speaking of surprises, AND someone who evidently doesn’t like living in the mountains as much as some of us.  The lack of sure has seemed to liven up his arm.  Jason Hammel exited stage left from the Rockies in February.  He is quietly 3-1, with a 1.73 ERA for the surprising Orioles.

8) Oh.  Let’s take a break and welcome Josina Anderson to ESPN’s main news crew.  Yeah.  Let’s just say that when you are reporting things on air, I retain less of the information you are talking about.

9) That Denzel Washington movie “Déjà Vu” from years ago got a little confusing at times.  This version does not.  It is spring, and Carl Crawford looks once again to hurt Boston’s payroll with very little or no production.

10)             High school wrestler Jamel Hudson did something interesting this past month.  He had a huge meet to continue his unbelievable run of winning.  They were trying to get the Star Spangled Anthem to play before the meet, but the music was having technical problems.  What did he do, even though he was prepping for his match?  He went out and busted the tune out a capella.  That guy will be a fiend once he is legal to drink and goes to his first karaoke bar.  Good work, bro.

11)             What?  You still don’t like Bubba Watson after him buying the actual General Lee and then taking the Masters this month?  Why not?  Anyway, try not to like him after THIS clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4oAMlWYko4

12)             This whole Michael Pineda injury for the Yankees I believe really will put them in a pinch down the road in the playoffs.  It is early in the year, everyone is healthy, and so it looks like a minor loss.  That would be wrong.  They aggressively went out and picked this young arm up.  He is down, and that will stretch the rotation once all the games of the season start taking their toll in late summer and early fall.  This puts a lot of pressure on Phil Hughes to show more than a spark, Joba Chamberlain to quit playing on trampolines, Ivan Nova to continue to be a good pitcher (and not just the best in the world in his head), and for Pettite to…not show his age.  I think this might be a speed bump that eventually becomes a barricade that perhaps their bats might not be able to overcome in the playoffs.

13)              Calvin Johnson wins the vote for the Madden cover.  I think this is about right, even though Cam Newton wouldn’t have been a slacker choice either.  Wait, I don’t even play Madden anymore after the first 3 of them or so.  Why do I care?  Damn.  I tricked myself.  Speaking of this, what the hell is Peyton Hillis doing these days?   Evidently, this voting system is MUCH better.

14)             Metta World Peace, you can “address” the elbow incident ALL you want.  You CAN’T explain your involuntary and camera-caught reaction to your “accidental” elbow, so the less you say, the better…unless you are just going to come totally clean and admit you are not playing with a full deck up there and that you just lost it once again.  I LOVE how they gave him 7 games (apparently appealed to 6 games now-well, at least it is ALMOST a whole series).  I hope Denver beats LA not just because I live in Denver, but because I want him to feel like he might have lost a series and another ring for his team.  Since there is no playoff money to be docked in the NBA, maybe the actual feeling of LOSING will ring a bell in that dome.

15)             Live your life, Ron Brown.  I get that the anti-gay Nebraska assistant football coach has a belief.  That is fine.  Is there ANY need to be making SUCH a big deal about it?  Please live your petty, immature, and just plain dumb beliefs more quietly.  Hide from the press for a while.

16)             If I was a star running back in high school or college, I am the BIGGEST Trent Richardson fan in the world right now.  I am sporting his new jersey.  Yup.  Because if he can do well pretty quickly, it might make picking running backs high hip again after the Ki-Jana curse pretty much scared the shit out of everyone in 1995.

17)             Janoris Jenkins might get drafted while I am flying home to Denver today, but probably not.  He WOULD have been drafted last night in the first round of the draft had he not got busted for weed, got kicked off the Florida team, had four kids out of wedlock, and then ended up at North Alabama.  As John McEnroe once said, if you are going to miss, Janoris, miss big.

18)             Do you think it is weird that the Saints get busted for all of these shenanigans the year they HAPPEN to have no first round picks in the draft?  Just coincidental?  Sure.

19)             Odd fact that I KNOW you have been waiting for and have been losing sleep because of not knowing.  I am here for you, and admittedly would never have guessed this little tidbit.  This is the FOURTH straight year the defending Stanley Cup champion has been eliminated in OT of a seven game series.  Tell your friends.

20)             Here is another one that blew my mind.  Quick.  Who is the ALL-TIME RBI leader for the NY Mets?  Do you know?  Nope.  Nobody old school.  It just happened.  David Wright.  With a total of what?  735.  Wow.  Drop in the bucket I would think for that franchise.

21)             Airlines, you suck.  I carry tuna fish and applesauce when I travel because it is a good post workout meal that is portable and doesn’t need refrigerated.  No, the tuna is not a bomb, the applesauce is just applesauce, and do you KNOW how much that foot spray you tossed out is (I have big feet.  It is what it is. They stink it up if I don’t care for them)?

22)             Dibs to ESPN Mag.  GREAT article in this last issue about Peyton Manning, his health breakdown, his Duke roots, and the Denver Broncos.  Awesome stuff, and it also explained why the hell so much was oddly happening in Durham during the whole circus.  I live in Denver, and didn’t even figure out how ex-college teammate Todd Helton figured into this craziness.

23)             It might be REALLY sunny in Colorado sometimes, Carlos Gonzalez, but two consecutive fly ball drops in one game?

24)             I guess it makes sense.  If you are a receiver in a triple option offense, you become a REALLY good blocker, and you learn to take advantage of the chances when the ball IS thrown to you.  I make this point because this is the second times in three years that a Georgia Tech (yes, that crazy running triple option Georgia Tech) receiver will be taken in the first round.  Dude averaged over 29 yards per catch.  Well, I guess it Keith Jackson can be an All-American tight end in the wishbone offense, anything is feasible.

25)             Things aren’t really good in the bay area these days for one NFL football team.  You have a retread QB, your owner passed away, you are a bad offensive team, AND you had no first round picks this year in the draft.  You guys are the antithesis of the Old Milwaukee commercial.  It BETTER get better than this.

26)             If you are TRYING to like NBA basketball and want to see an entertaining, closely contested series with top notch athletes all over the place, watch Memphis vs. Clippers in the Western 4-5 matchup.  No one else wants a part of these two teams, and the rest of the teams are just glad only one team can survive from it.  Think about it like a version of the Flyers/ Pens series in the NHL first round.

27)             I had to do a tough thing on Wednesday.  It dealt with the whole watching the cat lady’s cats thing while she was away.  Not ONLY were the things I mentioned last rant all true, but one of the cats needed SHOTS twice a day to boot.  I don’t totally like cats, I don’t like needles, and I don’t like HAVING to be somewhere twice a day at a specific time to give shots to a cat, and then worry about whether I administered them right for the next 12 hours.  I don’t think this job is for me.  I will blame this one on Fritz, the old cat of my principal and fellow church member, who died a week after I watched him for a couple weeks when I was 11 years old.  Anyway, I told her that I don’t feel comfortable doing it and to find someone else.

28)             Is it bad that I immediately thought of the Seinfeld/ LA Law/ dead cat reference after writing that last hook?

29)             It is official.  The Jazz are in the NBA playoffs, and the Suns are not.  Steve Nash is now accepting phone calls for wherever he wants to make the case that “it isn’t me or my age, it is the talent around me.”

30)             I LOVE hockey and how they reseed after the first round.  When you play the brutal schedule of games they do and earn your seeds, it is just silly to not reward them for more than a round.

31)             The lawyer for Roger Clemens has announced that the steroids evidence has been manipulated.  Two things on this.  The steroids are YEARS old-the concept of them being manipulated is not as crazy.  Also, every time I read something about Roger Clemens and the trial, I feel like I am in the baseball version of Groundhog Day.

32)             A Family Guy reference that I almost choked on since the laugh was so sudden.  Stewie making a comparison of someone’s voice to “Michael McDonald during allergy season.” Then, they show the hypothetical McDonald during allergy season.  Awe-some.  What was the other movie Michael McDonald got cracked on in?  Oh yeah, 40 Year Old Virgin.  The boss makes them have him on in the video store every day.  McDonald does have a funky voice, odd demeanor, and seems to take a lot of deserved heat because of it.  ANYWAY, the random reference by Stewie was classic.

33)             Anyone else notice that during all this hubbub about “how much longer Derek Jeter will play” that he is having one of his best starts of his career?  At one point this week, he had a plus .400 batting average and the most hits ever for him through 30 games.  Just saying.

34)             They let Pudge have a ceremonial post-retirement catch the other day.  I LOVE how he threw it to second base after.  Classic.  http://espn.go.com/blog/dallas/texas-rangers/post/_/id/4882019/pudge-rodriguez-throws-first-pitch-to-2b

35)             Congratulations to the Charlotte Bobcats.  You have made history.  You are the best loser of all time in the NBA percentage wide.  Hey, Michael Jordan, you are like the quiet version of Isiah Thomas.  Isiah ruins teams with sexual harassment cases and bad contracts.  You just pick up really bad players. http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/sports&id=8638700

36)             By the way, I LOVE the new Michael Jordan commercials, where a boring middle aged guy is named MJ and it shows all the people being let down because of this oddity.  Classic.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxBBN3ZnYeU

37)             Apparently, the BCS is discussing various options for a playoff still.  Listen, I am one of the more optimistic people I know, but I am STILL not holding my breath until I see something more substantial.  Did multiple people on the committee suddenly die?  This has made sense for YEARS, and it has seemed pretty obvious to me as an upgrade.  What took so freaking long for these “serious” talks to occur?  I will believe they are serious and not just teasing us when someone gets someone to sign on the “line which is dotted.” http://www.hark.com/clips/ghqlmxfkrg-get-them-to-sign-on-the-line-which-is-dotted

38)             I think Eli Manning would be fun to hang out with.  I like that he came out and admitted that “I am the 3^rd most talked about QB in New York right now.” The subtitle would say “even with two rings, bitches.”  That is funny, Eli.

39)             I think pumpernickel is the greatest flavor of bread ever invented.  I remember begging for it when I was a kid.  Problem is this.  When someone asks me what pumpernickel tastes like, I just say it tastes like pumpernickel.  Tough one.

40)             Interesting short article in Sports Illustrated about what effect Bobby Petrino will have on women in sports.  I think we are much farther along than to let this incident effect society too much, but an interesting hook on it regardless.

41)             Dodgers pitcher Aaron Harang recently had 9 straight strikeouts in one game, which is 1 shy of Tom Seaver’s 42 year old record of 10.  There, if the other useless bits of information won’t help you sleep better, then this one certainly will.

42)             Take THAT, Nolan Ryan.  This month, Colin Friedman threw THREE STRAIGHT no-hitters for Santa Fe High school.  Oh.  And one was a perfect game.  Slacking on the other two, aye, Colin?

43)             Nice poker faces, people.  Two crazy events in Thursday’s first round of the NFL draft occurred.  The Cowboys didn’t even ask for Morris Claiborne’s phone number before the draft, and then they move up EIGHT spots to swoop in and grab the kid.  Claiborne admitted to having no idea they were interested in him.  The second event was the equal to a lunar eclipse.  The Pats moved UP in the draft to grab the 21 and 25 spots, breaking the traditional strategy of moving back in the order to stockpile picks.  You do keep us on our toes there, hoodie.  He got two defensive studs, and is basically announcing to the world that he feels pretty freaking good about their chances this year.

44)             You want to talk about very, very, very short-lived elated period of time (No, I am not going that direction, people.  Get your mind out of the gutter.).  Colt McCoy is giggling like a teenage girl after the Browns moved UP one spot to grab their running back target, Trent Richardson, and then curled up like a fetus after they took Brandon Weeden later that round.

45)             I am easily amused, but I am still amazed how cell phones change time zones.  I feel like going to a state line and running back and forth to confuse the device.  Like I said, easily amused.

46)             You want to know how to increase theft stats at your arena?  Increase as make people steal MORE?  Just do what the Pistons are doing next year at their crib.  All season ticket holders get a fancy Pistons jacket.  That jacket has a little code.  That code gets you 20% off your food at any of the places in the arena.  Nice.  You become a thief, get a fancy jacket, and don’t have to leave the arena hungry either.

47)             I just flew back from New York City.  Work trip.  Kind of sad that I work so much that I couldn’t really even explore on the night I was there, but luckily I saw the sites as a kid and a couple times in college.  No big deal, but I was kind of upset my last meeting ran JUST late enough to not allow me to check out the Trade Center Memorial…the ONE thing I haven’t seen.  Oh well.  Next time.  Side note.  I was there for a day, and might just go drive aimlessly in the mountains tomorrow to enjoy the room and relaxation I get in Denver.  I get it.  Some people eat that shit up.  Some people are bred for that fast pace.  I prefer not to.  Would I do it if necessary or worth it?  Sure.  But you city people enjoy your big city and I look forward to visiting next time.  For now, I will enjoy my “big small town” of Denver.  I have a work trip to Palo Alto in another week and a half.  The Cailfornia coast is probably the ONE place besides Vegas where one has to wonder whether I will get back on the plane.  Side note 2.  I was with a colleague who had never been to the city.  He didn’t get to experience anything but Grand Central Station at 530pm (MADNESS), and riding the subway.  Poor guy.

48)             So.  Apparently that guy who does the flips on the motorcycles at the X Games, Travis Pastrana, is going to be competing in the NASCAR Nationwide Series this weekend.  This makes sense to me.  We got a guy who goes in a straight line with flips, to an event  where there are only left handed turns.  Doesn’t sound crazy at all when I put it that way.

49)             Dammit, Bruce Irvin.  You are the first one in a couple years.  You are the first guy in about two years in the first round of the NFL Draft.  Mel Kiper and Todd didn’t have to look him up, but probably were a round or two off on him.  Congrats to you, Bruce, and may the force be with you.

50)             Dwayne Szintius died recently.  Don’t remember him?  He would be the poster child of the late 80’s for mullets in basketball.  He WOULD have been more of a household name, but after his All-American season his junior year at Florida, he walked out after a few games allegedly BECAUSE of a hair dispute with the coach.  He then wore the mullet proudly for the Spurs.

51)             I got SOLD this week.  I went to the dentist.  I went a little hungry because I knew there was a McDonald’s right by the building for once I was done my appointment.  Then, at the end of my cleaning, I got told that there is this new Flouride treatment recommended by the Dental powers to be, and (talking softly) it only costs $34.  Ok.  Oh, and by the way, you can’t eat hard food for 5 hours.  Damn.  I was dying, and whether it was a joke or not, I sure as hell was going to get the bang for my $34 bucks.  I got sold.

52)             I kind of believed Mickey Loomis during his rebuttal about the tapping of the opposing coaches.  That being said, it still IS what it is.  I never heard him really talk about how the wiring ended up like it did.  I was watching his little statement, and heard him say he never listened to it, but never really caught why or how it got set up that way.  Weird, Mickey.

53)             However the cliché about the tree in the forest goes, please just intermittently insert NFL Pro Bowl and call it a day.  Thanks for cancelling the saddest excuse for all-star celebration there is out there, and no one cares either way.

54)             NBA thoughts: Eastern Conference.  Chicago vs. Philly.  This will be a series where if any game is at a comfortable margin, you better believe Derrick Rose will be on the bench resting.  They win in 5 without him still.  I like the direction the Sixers are taking and think their future is bright, but they have regressed slightly as the season wore on, and I still think they need one semi-superstar to help out Williams and Iguadola.  Bulls in five.  

Miami vs. New York.  This will be a fun series.  You have the Big Three, who expect to be there when the smoke clears and no one outside Haslem and Wade knows the grind of how to win it all (well, LeBron knows what just comes up short, and Bosh is still getting used to this whole “playoff” thing in general). Then, you have possibly Linsanity, Carmelo, and Amare.  The Knicks have some names on their team.  Now, we get to find out if this whole “new belief about defense” was just a regular season thing or is for real.  They will need it for the playoffs.  Ask Amare how his Suns did with the no defense philosophy.  I think this will be fun, but I don’t see the full array of needed pieces on the Knicks nor the size to take advantage of the smaller Heat.  Talent prevails.  Heat in 6.  

Indiana vs. Orlando.  Indiana is going the right direction and Orlando had the playoffs come around right before they most likely took a nosedive.  An injured Turkoglu and no Howard means people like Redick and Nelson have to have consistent good games.  I don’t see that happening.  That being said, the Pacers are not fully put together enough to take advantage of it totally.  I see this series being competitive, but I see the Pacers taking care of the Magic.  Pacers in 6.  

Atlanta vs. Boston.  I hear a lot of people on the Hawks bandwagon in this one.  I would not be one of those people.  I think as long as they are healthy and Garnett has that menacing sneer, they will still be around.  I think it will be a long series, and therefore wear down the stars on the Celtics for future series, but ready/ mature or not, the Hawks just have too much talent to NOT give someone a run.  Celtics in 7.  

Western Conference.  

San Antonio vs. Utah.  Utah should be happy to be playing a couple more games, but I think this one will be quick.  San Antonio, I believe, will come out on a mission even though it is the first round.  They are smart, know they are much better than Utah, and will go balls to the wall to try and get their veterans some rest before encountering some of these younger teams like the Griz, Clippers, and Thunder.  Spurs in 4.  

OKC vs. Dallas.  Interesting matchup.  The defending champs vs. the bandwagon.  I would love to say the craftiness and experience of Dallas will make a huge difference, but it won’t.  This is a better, younger team vs. a worse, older, declining team.  You better take last year and capture all the memories, because I think this will be a statement series for the young Thunder.  Give me the Thunder in 5.  

Lakers vs. Denver.  I made jokes about it, but Ron Artest’s absence DOES leave a huge gap against a very deep Denver squad.  There is no way Gallinari continues his slump, and Kobe can win them only a couple games.  I am slightly worried about how Denver will guard Gasol and Bynum, but think they have enough firepower to override what they lose in the paint. In a year where Denver is not SUPPOSED to advance, I believe they do.  It will be a long series.  Denver in 7.  

Memphis vs. LA Clippers.  Wow, this will be a fun series to watch, as I noted before. This is where I see a few things happen.  I still personally think Memphis is a year or two away with the squad they have, although many of the pieces are in place.  I think that Blake shows a little substance to get his team to advance.  I think you might even see a few layups instead of dunks.  Ok.  That might be taking it a little too far.  Anyway, I think he grows up a little.  One other thing.  I think Chris Paul reminds us in an obvious way of WHY they went and got him.  I think this series will be madly entertaining, and I think one or two of the games goes the Clippers way late thanks to Paul.  Clippers in 6.

55)             Well, that is it.  I need to go home and figure out stats on winds to figure out how the hell it takes 3 hours and 23 minutes on the flight to NYC, and then 4 hours and 11 minutes on the way back.  As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am going to get the flock out of here.  Actually, I guess I am not as much getting the flock out of here as I am turning off the electronic devices like my stewardess just told me to do.  Hope to do another one Monday evening.  Have a great weekend.  Peace.

I am a dog person.

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


1) Not wanting to just sit on the boring BountyGate, the Saints have decided to up the ante.  GM Mickey Loomis evidently listened to opposing coaches during games through wire-tapping.  This is bad, obviously.  I am looking forward to getting more information on this before piling on too much.  This will get MUCH more interesting.  I say this because I know we have it proven that he was listening in, but I want to know his benefit for it.  Either he was taking notes for the next time they faced the team, or there is a much larger part of this deal in whether he was finding a way to relay this immediate information to coaches so quickly.  Whatever his end game was, it is still bad.  Just saying there are different levels of this yet to be determined.


2)  Arkansas hired special teams coach John L. Smith to replace womanizer Bobby Petrino for their football head coaching position this week.  I like this call.  You play in the SEC.  You have somewhat of a football tradition.  You COULD bring in a big name. This is too late in the game.  We are about four months until the first game.  Leave someone at the head spot that knows the system, has met some of the recruits, and won't want to change the method to their kids preparation.  Call it the college version of the Saints predicament.  After that scandal, you just want a seamless transition that stays under the radar,that doesn't rock the boat, and that no one notices until they start winning or losing actual games.


3)  Virginia Tech fired basketball coach Seth Greenberg this week.  I like Seth as a personality, but I hope no one feels he doesn't deserve this.  I get that the tradition of VA Tech basketball lacks a certain luster, and therefore maybe there shouldn't be high expectations.  But.  You could say that Seth sealed his own fate.  He comes in and gets top 25 recruiting classes year in and year out (stealing VA players from UVA mind you.  Damn you).  Therefore, he has better teams.  What did he do with these teams?  He either barely made or more often barely missed the tourney each year.  They might not have a history that makes the fan base angry, but when you know the results of your quality team are not nearly living up to what you are putting on the floor every other night, then a change is needed.


4)  Ben Howland.  You are now on the clock.  You left Pittsburgh after several successful runs to go to UCLA, some people's dream basketball job.  You get to a couple Final Fours.  Good job.  You have been off the radar of any hot seat amazingly after being in mediocrity for a good portion of the last five years.  After landing the highest ranked and third ranked players in the nation, you quietly snag top 100 recruit Tony Parker this week.  If you don't produce something with this congregation of talent, then you might be joining Seth Greenberg at his favorite watering hole.  I give you two years.  One to mold the talent and possibly get another good recruiting class, and one more to capitalize on it.  Good luck.  No excuses now.


5)  In the real life version of Usual Suspects merged with Gone in 60 Seconds, apparently there was a Death Race 2012, where 2 unnamed police officers allegedly escorted a line of top flight sports cars down the highways of New Jersey in route to Atlantic City at speeds over 100mph.  They are saying NFL RB Brandon Jacobs was in this fancy line of cars.  Lots of jokes I could make about his inclusion in the idiotic "race," but I just have one question.  Aren't you supposed to be in San Fran or doing SOMETHING showing us you want to do well this year?


6)  Article I didn't open because I am SO burned out from reading all the articles the LAST time Roger Clemens was in the headlines.  "Judge restricts Pettite testimony."  I refuse to dig deeper into this, but this just sounds shady, considering Pettite's testimony was previously considered key the last go around.  I am sure Clemens will get out of this one, too, although I would still LOVE to be a fly on the wall when they bring pieces of evidence out such as old needles, samples, etc.  Eeewww.


7)  Let's just keep this one simple.  I drove home at 530pm on Friday from work.  I live in Colorado, it is legal to "properly" celebrate 420 in the park around the corner from my house, and if I only had a dime for every person at street corners on their way back home from that event, standing on street corners, staring aimlessly at nothing in particular, I would have a lot of dimes.  Very entertaining drive home.


8)  I will try to find video on this before I close this out tonight, but I just saw Bobcats Tyrus Thomas get ejected for throwing an elbow.  They reviewed it.  He got tossed.  One problem.  He didn't hit the guy at all.  The Bobcats are having a bad enough season.  Can you at least not boot their players out for no good reason? (I couldn't find the video.  Google it.  They played the Wizards)


9)  Speaking of elbows, one of the captains on my "team" (Metta, Janikowski, Marcus Vick, Michael Vick, Plaxico Burress, Jennifer Capriati, Diego Maradona, etc.) once again rose to the top of the heap.  Metta World Peace aka Ron Artest, "accidentally" elbowed James Harden this week.  Some oddities about this, although nothing is really odd when it involves World Peace.
-it was after a dunk...by WORLD PEACE!  What were you mad at?


-it doesn't matter whether you have behaved well over the last 5 years.  Taking away ALL of the other odd things you do, you still were the instigator in one of the most polarizing NBA events in recent memory.  A blip on your radar will ALWAYS remind us about that fan-included fight.


-the fact that you can say it was accidental is ridiculous.  In the replay, it is SO obvious that you actually change the trajectory of your elbow to make sure you will catch James cleanly.


-I don't think it will, but you better hope Harden doesn't miss a lot of time from this injury.  Even outside Oklahoma City, people will have another reason to dislike you.


-I am not even a Laker hater, but truly am rooting for you to be out a few games in your first series.  Maybe, if your idiocy actually lets down some of your teammates in a series, and you lose, then perhaps some reality will seep into that Bubble World dome of yours.


10)  Hockey thoughts (mostly Pens/ Flyers) for the weekend:
-I thought Pens Tyler Kennedy's simulated lambeau leap after a goal was freaking awesome.  Check it out. 


-Even though I called Philly in six, I was surprised about how easily the Flyers beat the Pens in the last game.  The Pens are loaded at most positions, and it goes to show you why 3-0 comebacks in ANY sport don't happen too often.


-Although I am glad I am not in the NHL and my facial hair thing isn't too strong, I think the whole hockey/ playoffs/ beard thing is really, really cool...every year.


-Pens Evgeny Malkin gets a lot of dumb minor penalties for a superstar hockey player.  Hey, Evegny, I still think you skating with the puck is amazing considering your size, but let your enforcers get the penalties, bro.


-Interesting stat in the Sunday Flyers/ Pens game.  The Flyers had two power play goals at one point...on TWO shots.


-I laughed during one of the games when I heard a ref blatantly yell at a player in easy range of the TV microphone "That was real f%^&ing close to a f$%^ing penalty."  


-I love the Bridgestone hockey puck commercial.  It is clever.  If you haven't seen it, it is Bridgestone having themselves filmed during the new release of their new hockey puck.  They show a player hitting the pucks, the puck goes 4 feet, therefore showing us the quality of Bridgestone's tires in bad conditions like ice.


-In Friday's win, Pens goalie Fleury had 8 shots stopped in one single power play.  Meant to be their night.


-Also, in the meant to be win, Briere had two point blank shots in the preceding talked about series that were stymied. 


-I watch hockey when I can, and ALWAYS catch the Flyers games, but hardcore hockey fans must be in heaven this year, it being the first year that every single game is televised.  Kind of like their version of March Madness.  I like it, and it will bring in new fans also.


-I played piano when I was a kid.  Every time I watched 2.5 Men with Charlie Sheen, or watch ANY baseball or hockey game, and I think how do I either become a jingle writer or one of those stadium/ arena organists.  Washed up piano player thoughts.


-Whatever year it is, it is kind of weird not having the Red Wings left in the playoffs so early in the mix.  Kind of sad too, that we probably don't have any more time of watching Nicklas Lidstrom of playing his mistake free/ beautiful brand of hockey.


-Hey, Washington Capitals.  Good luck to you and everything, but not sure if it is too wise to allow the defending champions to force a game 7 with you.  Just saying.


-Claude Giroux had a monster series with 14 points in 6 games.  One point away from getting the franchise record for a series, and if he wasn't a household name before, he is now.


-The Flyers amount of blocked shots in the final game was a huge part of the win.  Shows effort, shows focus, and shows that you are where you are supposed to be on the play.


-Old guy Flyers Jagr was the only player with at least one point in each of the games.  He brings experience, a voice to the locker room, and plenty of clever tricks on those power plays, which the Flyers are literally raking with.


-Best record in their conference once again, and again going home a loser.  The Vancouver Canucks are failures again.  Word is that the San Jose Sharks and Canucks are having drinks together RIGHT.  NOW.  


-With the Phoenix Coyotes story being such a great one, and with them doing so well in the playoffs, it is a shame that the remembrance from their appearance so far is the Coyotes Raffi Torres suspension for his malicious hit on Marian Hossa.  25 games, and I would have to say I absolutely agree.  


-Whether you are trying to like the sport, or already do, you will agree that, after pummeling each other for an entire series in a brutal sport, the handshakes at the very end are SO freaking cool.  SO pure.


11)  Rashad Evans and Jon Jones.  My first UFC fight since I remember that I allotted time to watch, in entirety.  I wouldn't have shelled out $50 for it, but no cover at my old bartending gig?  Done and done.  It was truly worth it for me.  Sure, a lot of the UFC hardcore people around me were complaining about the lack of "action," but I disagree.  From a pure fighting perspective, it was high quality exchanges, and clearly looked like two guys who knew each others every move.  Only a couple takedowns, and really no blood, but it was fun watching two guys using their usual stuff to no avail.  Bottom line was this.  Jones long reach on both his punches and kicks gave Evans no real shot, but pretty admirable that Evans made it through 5 rounds relatively unscathed.  Jones elbow usage was another factor.  Dude uses those things so methodically.  I guess World Peace watched this fight, too.


11a)  Highlights in the undercard?  My new favorite fighter is Rory McDonald.  Dude kicked ass in the fight right before the main event, and obtained one more fan over here.


12)  Happy trails, Brian Dawkins.  You were a class act, a solid player, and had a great career.  Don't think you will be enshrined, but you can be damn proud of your career.  Plus, one more spot for Roethlisberger to throw at next September in Denver.


13)  I don't care how old he is.  I don't care if it can't happen.  I am rooting for Rulon Gardner to make the Olympics again.  I think I am still a fan from that whole missing appendage story in the snow.


14)  I find it ironic that I got stuck in a movie Sunday afternoon, and it was A Few Good Men, being that my last theme for my rant was for the movie.


15)  Hindsight is 20/20.  Just saying that had Dwight Howard known he was definitively going under the knife and would be out of commission until the season next year, that he would hedged his comments about not wanting to play for Stan Van Gundy.  I have a feeling he would have waited it out a little more.  Now he is somewhere laying on a recovery table, looking a little less classy whatever the shake down was.


15a)  By the way, with Orlando missing Turkoglu AND Howard, they are ripe for the taking in the playoffs.  Whoever draws them will quietly be smirking.


16)  I have decided I don't like people who wear a team's colors, and then do something totally useless and not constructive WHILE their team is playing.  I was somewhere the other night where a dude was decked out in Rockies gear.  The Rockies were on inside, and he sat on the patio for hours with no interest in the game.  Show some interest, or change your attire.


16a)  Kind of sad that the Rockies, in that game, walked someone to get to the pitcher, and then they give up a 3-run home run...to THAT pitcher.


17)  I am not the biggest Carmelo Anthony fan, but I was still impressed by his showing against playoff team Atlanta Hawks.  39 points, 10 rebounds, and only 2 turnovers.  Nice work, Melo.


17a) With Amare coming back, Melo carrying them for now, and Lin most likely returning (not sure if that is a good or bad thing at this point), I still would not want to mess with these guys in the playoffs.  They have superstars, some depth, and a new coach who has changed their view on defense.


18)  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Jason Statham is coming out with another kick ass action movie.  In their alternating sequence, I guess Jet Li has one coming in another few months.  Just WAITING for Statham to come out with a Kindergarten teacher comedy movie.


19)  Dick Clark died this week.  I admit I am about 7% curious who they replace Dick Clark with on New Year's Eve.


20)  Is it bad that I chuckle every time STILL when Stewie calls Peter "fat man" in Family Guy?  Or when talk dog Brian tries to fight off being interested in a ball.  THINK about it.  They create a character who:
-is a dog
-has an episode where he becomes a drug dog and then becomes an addict
-talks intelligently
-loves drinking martinis
-BUT still loves to chase a ball
-BRILLIANT.


21)  Well, it is what it is.  You go to UCONN to win championships in basketball.  That is it.  That is the plan.  You lose a year of tourney time in penalties with the cast of athletes they have there, and what do you get?  Early entries, defections, and transfers.  Jim Calhoun says he can still win without all of these guys, and I admit I am impressed that the backcourt is returning, but there are also a lot of students at UCONN suddenly googling "how do I walk on in basketball," thinking I can one day say "Oh yeah?  Well, I balled at UCONN."


22) Here is what my May looks like:
-I am a dog person
-I think cats are cocky animals
-I am nice to a neighbor, who has cats, but probably not cable
-I said I would watch her cats for two weeks
-I have watched people's cats before.  They are at least low maintenance. Feed, change litter, call it a day.
-She wants me to come over "to get to know" them...a couple times a week preceding my watch time
-Does she have cable while I am spending this quality time?  How does one even survive without ESPN News?  I am not even sure how I functioned before its invention.
-Ugghhh.


23)  This is a sad story.  No jokes.  Just sucks all the way around.  As I said last rant, marathons are of no interest to me. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5gregw2m82sWZfNdKMEctSyh1rIrA?docId=N0460091335055688433A


23a) Some person from Kenya won it.  Surprise, surprise.


24)  The Atlanta Falcons have turned down the show Hard Knocks, who are still without a team, and somehow know that society might have a meltdown if the Jets do the show again.


25)  Congratulations to Philip Humber, who pitched the 21st perfect game in history.  Sorry I had to look you up, Philip, and we won't talk about that last full swing/ check swing.  Nice work.  Also nice way to follow up the no hitter from Ervin Santana, who got a no-hitter on a wrong call by the ump.  Can we have a no-hitter or perfect game end in a whiff?


25a)  Reminded me also, guys, that if you HAVE to watch a chick flick, and you need SOME way of having sports normalcy in the movie, rent For the Love of the Game, with Kevin Costner.  She will thank you for the actual love part of the movie, and you will get by because it takes place during a baseball game.


26)  Rafael Nadal routed Djokovic this weekend.  Notice it was a tournament that I would have to look up the name of, and not one any of the Grand Slams not named the French Open.


27)  It doesn't exactly square things up from 2004 in Boston's 3-0 comeback in the playoffs, but the Yankees 15-9 win after being down 9-0 sure added another chapter to the story.  Pretty freaking amazing comeback.  Since it was happening at the same time of Humber's perfect game, it made it even more exciting.


28)  Curtis Painter signs with the Ravens.  This is actually a good spot for him. 
-he isn't backing up a future Hall of Famer
-they have the type of offense that doesn't exactly expect record numbers each game
-he is backing up a guy that has increasing impatience from the media, team, and fans.  
-if he DOES get a shot, two touchdowns and a field goal will do in most games.


29)  Mike Wallace has come out saying he will "play with the Steelers if he has to."  I am glad he will end up with them eventually as the dude is simply sick, but talk about a change of stories from the WR's from last year.  One refuses to put any other uniform on besides a Steelers jersey and then retires, and one just wants to get paid.  Talk to him, Hines.


30)  I like how the NBA Union Committee votes 8-0 to remove Fisher, and then Fisher "rejects" this vote.  Sounds like a solid hierarchy/ system you got going on there.


31)  How can you NOT love Larry Brown?  At his SMU acceptance speech, he brought back the greatest rant of all time, Iverson's practice monologue.  Check this out. http://larrybrownsports.com/college-basketball/larry-brown-allen-iverson-practice-smu-video/131383


32)  Good to hear that the Vikings might not be moving.  There is progress to revive the new stadium project.  I hate to have ANY team leave any city, but I would hate the great memories of this franchise to have to shift locations and lose some of its very loyal fan base.


33)  My boss made a great point the other day.  Blake Griffin was already a dunking machine, but he has entered the wrong type of territory.  It is one thing to be the dunk of the night every night and be the best athlete in your sport.  It is another thing to let that change you.  Stop the stare downs, bro.  The dunk itself sends the message.  Don't start being THAT guy.


34)  My thoughts go out to the family of ex-Falcons Ray Easterling, who committed suicide this week.  Ray was part of the group who was suing the NFL about concussions, and it saddens me that this is his method of exiting the earth.


35)  This is an asterisk.  "*"  So is this.  Alex Rodriguez just passed Ken Griffey for 5th on the all time homer list.


36)   Dwayne Wade and LeBron were suddenly mean dudes in the game against the Bulls last week.  Don't TRY to be tough, guys, or to CREATE friction.  It is not how you two roll.  It just looks...manufactured and forced.


37)  I hate when I am typing fast, hit some combination of keys that shows I am about to do something useless.  I am glad to know there are several types of ways to do things on my laptop, but very irritating.  Plus, if you are GOING to show me what I just accomplished, can you at least have a blurb at the bottom showing me the combination of freaking keys I just hit in case it IS useful and I wish to use it again?


38)  The Alabama parent is "not sure how he broke the championship trophy."  Check your trashcan for empties, and I am sure it will give you a clue.  Maybe you can find a half eaten eclair in there while you are at it.  "Above the rim."


39)  Congrats to Martin Brodeur for breaking Patrick Roy's playoff shutout record the other night.  That is a nice record, as it truly shows you were at your best frequently when your team needed you most.  Keep doing well, Martin.  I would rather that you guys are left than Carolina for my Flyers when they ever meet.


40)  Twenty years from now, it will be called the Pujols Rule, just like there is a Bird Rule in basketball.  The Angels loaded his contract with long term incentives.  The league has decided that this was a little excessive, and that there will be no more contracts like this.  Speaking of, Albert, I hope none of those perks were for home runs THIS year, because at press time, you have ZERO jacks thus far.


41)  Sorry, Pudge.  I forgot to mention you last rant.  Happy trails to one of the best catchers to ever play the game.  Not only did he have the offensive stats.  He had the plate and game calling skills too.  Total package in his prime.  Thanks for letting us watch you play, Pudge.


42)  I like Yankees Ivan Nova now.  When asked who the best pitcher in the game these days, her said "well, I think I would say me."  Awesome.


43)  In the epic matchup between Ronaldo and Lionel Messi this weekend, Ronaldo not only prevailed in taking the goal scoring lead, but his team won also.  They are both going for the season record for goal scoring.  I will write one more sentence on this to make this an oddly long, non World Cup related, soccer hook.


44)  TRADE BAIT.  Making himself the frontrunner for a rent for the playoffs pick up before the trade deadline, A's Bartolo Colon has started the season 3-1. 2.37 ERA.  He is too old for any long term contracts, but he has the track record and experience to help a team on the brink of being good.  Sticking with my gut feeling about this team, I will say the Nationals make a run at him.


45)  That is it.  Tired, and that whole full time job thing.  I travel to New York Thursday (FINALLY get to see the WTC memorial after all of my childhood trips) and will be packing on Wednesday night and prepping for work on Thursday night, so my next rant will most likely be a Friday or Saturday thing.  Have a great week, I hope you enjoyed, and hooks, lines, and sinkers.  Full NBA breakdown next rant.  Just waiting for the smoke to clear on the matchups.  Peace.

Oh, now I see what you are saying. It had to be Professor Plum in the library with a candlestick.

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


Walk softly and carry an armored tank division, I always say.


1)  UK's starting five have all declared for the NBA draft, fresh off this year's championship.  Their group declaration reminds of the group declaration from the Florida crew.  Sure, it might not be as cool, as the UK team made the jump after only one championship as opposed to two, BUT the UK team did it with primarily freshman.  Anthony Davis and Kidd Gilchrist are going to be studs at the next level without a doubt.  Personally, I think everyone was ready who declared at the base level, but I personally think that Marcus Teague could really have benefited from one more year.  I hate to call anyone the weakest link, but just saying he would have been a high lottery pick with another go around.  But, someone will show him the money regardless. maybe mid to late first round.  In a related story, the Charlotte Bobcats dropped their 18th in a row.  EIGHTEEN.  That is a lot.  It makes us wonder about how idiotic the statement is that the UK team could take them in a game.  Hmmmm.  They are surely making it more of a thinker than I expected.  Anyway, if the Bobcats lose their last 5 games, they will have the lowest winning percentage in NBA history.  As Dennis Leary once said, you got to have goals.


1a)  At least if the Bobcats don't win the ping pong ball battle, they will be able to at least grab one of these Wildcats.  Some type of irony.


2)  Tennessee's Pat Summit announced her resignation this week.  CLASS.  ACT.  And quite the winner, also.  She built a dynasty, and probably is going out at the right time at 59 years old and with her physical condition.  Even without winning this last year, I will say that she retired pretty much on top.  We will miss you, Pat.  Forget about her wins for a second.  EVERY player who completed eligibility in her time graduated, and there are 74 of her former players, assistants, etc. that are in coaching positions at some level of basketball.  I didn't hear her speeches and just watched the championships from afar, but I get the feeling that every woman who left her team was a better person from her teachings.


3)  After weeks of living in a bubble and possibly believing they were actually confusing the public, Indianapolis announced today that they...are going to take Andrew Luck at #1.  Wow.  You guys threw me on that one.  The grass is green, the sky is blue, yada yada yada.


4)  Serenity now.  The NFL season schedule was announced this week, and the home town team Broncos get to lock horns with my Steelers.  Sweet.  It might be far from a playoff game, but considering a lot of those Steelers were playing in that loss last year, I feel good about their chances.  It is not really payback, as it is not a playoff game, but I will enjoy reading the Denver Post talking about Peyton being 0-1 for a week.


4a)  In a related story, and taking a break from busting on the ugliness of the Nike uniforms of Maryland and Oregon, the Steel have said they will wear these retro uniforms for a game this year.  Horrible.  http://aol.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2012-04-18/pittsburgh-steelers-throwback-uniform-jersey-nike-football


5)  THIS is what I am talking about.  Expand your mind, rappers.  This song is AWESOME (and also the highest non sports hook ever in my rant).  A song ENTIRELY about eating cereal watching Saturday morning cartoons.  Incredible. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zfBl3Hnopo


5a) By the way, my favorite superheroes I guess were Green Lantern and Aquaman.  I kind of got juked.  I watched Spiderman and his Amazing Friends, and my older brother kind of jacked Iceman from me before I got into it totally.  I took Aquaman because I feel more comfortable in the water than on land (still true at my age).  I took Green Lantern because it was too hip to go with Superman (sorry, Jerry Seinfeld, this was WAY before your time).  Anyway, he was the second most powerful (or so I thought...as long as he didn't leave home without that ring), and I guess that has continued throughout my life.  I don't like the Bald Eagle.  Too mainstream.  I like the Golden Eagle.  When I have a few and am talking sports, I sometimes am known to say "oh yeah?  He is the Golden Eagle of QB's."  Take THAT and rewind it back.


6)  Article I didn't feel the need to open as I didn't think more insight would help me.  "Dante West gives Gordon Hayward a wet willie."  I didn't have to dig for that one amazingly.  Thanks for letting us know the hot news, sports websites. 


7)  A Jets player has come out and said that practicing now is like going through plays of two entirely different offenses.  And I thought I got confused.  You take two different offenses, Rex Ryan's mouth, Tim Tebow's media circus, empty promises in past years, and a rapidly increasing doubt about their "franchise QB,"  and you have a science experiment just WAITING to explode.  It is like that baking soda volcano I made in 4th grade for a science fair.


8)  Speaking of Waiting, when the hell did Ryan Reynolds become a superstar?  I saw him in Waiting, he was hilarious, and then suddenly he is playing superheroes and other prominent roles left and right.  Confused.  Hey, Rip, how long have we been asleep?


9)  The Pens spanked the Flyers 10-3 in Game 4.  Someone actually asked if I was surprised about that being a Flyers fan.  I answered basically that I had NO thinking that Pittsburgh would be swept-they are too good (still wasn't happy about the score considering it was in the Flyers' crib).  My thoughts?  The Flyers will drop the next one also in an Instant Classic, and then win it in 6 games at home.  Book it.  (Will I be MAD if they win the next one?  Uhhh, no)


10)  LeBron scored the final 17 points in a win against the Nets this week.  He shot 83% in the final period.  Pretty damn impressive, bro.  I am sure the Heat management were thrilled to watch you go have such a nice, friendly conversation with Nets owner Jay-Z afterwards, too.  He is under contract, so I don't think it would work, but conspiracy theory #1 says that Nets owners hope he wins one in Miami, wants to prove his OWN worth away from Wade, somehow gets out of his contract, somehow comes to the Nets, and that this Dwight Howard saga continues its dumb path also and they snag him also for their move to Brooklyn.  Just thinking out loud, people.  I don't think those dominoes fall anything like that.  This IS a rant, for Pete's sake.  Stream of consciousness.


11)  The Clippers are in the playoffs.  Ok, Blake and Chris, let's see what you got.  You are in the party.  I will be rooting for them, although I still think they are missing a piece for a title run.  Their year is sometime in the next two years most likely.  I DO like that the team they beat to clinch the spot was the Thunder.  Nice statement.  With the Thunder competing with the Spurs for the #1 seed, it is not like they were playing in a lower gear.


12)  I am just talking here.  Taking Andrew Luck out of the mix as the obvious ringer, I will say this as I glance through the rest of the forecasted top ten in mock drafts.  I think the two players I like the most are USC's Matt Kalil and OSU's Justin Blackmon.  Kalil looks like a fine, perennial, solid, offensive lineman, and I think Blackmon is a prototype-looking WR that is downright scary.  He is not as obvious specimen as Calvin Johnson was a couple years ago, but I would say he is only behind Calvin by only about 1/2 tier.  He could play on my team any day of the week.


13)  Teddy Bruschi makes me feel slightly lazy.  He is retired after giving his all in one of the most physically demanding sports in the world.  He should be tired I think, and relaxing.  What is he up to?  He just finished the Boston Marathon, after completing his last adventure.  What was the previous one?  Climbing Mount Kilamanjaro.  Slacker.


13a)  I could be interested in doing the mountain climb-sounds fun.  The marathon?  No interest.  I am athletic, and could probably suck it up to train for it, but there is a problem.  I get bored running.  Really bored.  I can swim for hours in a pool in my own thoughts, but I have NO interest in not only running 26 miles in the first place, but actually training for it.  I would be training for a race where I would be bored shitless DURING the actual event.  I can think of other things to aspire to do.  Running ain't one of them.


13b)  Speaking of running and by the way, don't you love those songs that make you think of one random thing and one thing only?  If it relates to a movie, you don't even remember what you thought of during that song previously.  Well, WHENEVER I hear Jackson Browne's Running on Empty, I think of Forrest Gump.  That is it.  Not only is it an awesome movie, but I think that if I DID train for a run, I would just have that song on repeat.  LOVE that scene.


14)  I was always taught to never buy things like batteries in the cheaper variety.  Go with the Energizers and Duracells.  I am going to add something else to this cliche'd list.  Toilet bowl cleaners.  My freaking toilet was blue for about 8 flushes.  EIGHT.  Moving on.


15)  Five days after saying he was making the whole thing up, the guy who is accusing Bernie Fine of sexual abuse now says he actually was telling the truth the first time.  Listen, bro.  This story is weird and disturbing enough.  And I am sure your mind is a little messed up if the tragic events did happen, but get your freaking ducks in a row, think before you talk, and don't become the sexual abuse version of the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf.


16)  This whole Vikings stadium unrest got me thinking.  I am lucky.  I like teams that I could never fathom going ANYWHERE.  I had never thought about this before.  What would happen if say the Steelers switched towns?  Would I stick with them?  How do you people handle it who have had it happen to you?  Colts, Expos, Sonics, Rams fans...call me.  My buddy, a Vikings fan, was asked today would he still like the Vikings if they moved.  He answered pretty quickly that he would be a Broncos fan if that happened and adopt the home team.  It makes sense.  You lose your camaraderie with your city.  Well, I probably will never have to deal with it luckily.  But it still is weird I had never pondered it.


17)  This is gray area, but it is on my list.  Got to do it.  Sorry.  I was watching The Colbert Report and he was talking about women power and then he...no.  I can't do it.  It is crossing the line of my rant.  How about you do this?  Go Google "Colbert Report Camry (and then a word that is one of the things on your foot)"  That is all I will give you, but I DID almost roll of the couch when he put it up on the screen.  


18)  Phillies Cliff Lee and Giants Matt Cain pitched masterpieces the other other night...against each other.  I was sorry I missed it, but these are the types of games I love to watch, when both pitchers have some of the best hitters in the world just plain confused.  Cliff Lee pitched 10 innings without allowing a run...and lost.  http://sports.yahoo.com/news/matt-cain-cliff-lee-quick-yet-memorable-performances-160900599.html


19)  I know I am not the hippest person, and I know that it is a good thing I am not a detective as I notice pretty much nothing in detail that goes by me in the world on a daily basis.  I would be the WORST person to have a horrible crash, murder, or robbery take place in front of me.  The police would ask me what they looked like...and I would say things like "average, maybe jeans, not sure if he had a hat on, it was either a Cadillac or a Jeep, etc."  ANYWAY, I like Stone Sour as a band, and I like Slipknot to work out to here and there.  Evidently, I need to open up the CD case and read a little, because I had NO idea that Slipknot was actually Stone Sour's lead singer's side project.  Totally missed that one.


19a) One more thing on the music front.  How did I EVER miss THIS song?  This dude twanging out a country/ southern rock/ redneck version of Snoop's Gin and Juice.  Classic.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r-M9gipm9s


20)  In the story that almost made me drop the glass in my hand like Agent Kujan in Usual Suspects after he figured out he got worked by Kevin Spacey, Larry Brown accepted the head coaching position at SMU this week.  This is great.  I think he is great.  I think SMU's kids will learn a lot of basketball.  That being said, while reading the story, one phrase caught my eye and made me realize how crazy this story is.  Ready?  "This being Brown's first college coaching position in a QUARTER CENTURY..."  Wow, some coaches take off a year to gather their thoughts, hang with their kids, and get the drive back.  Larry just waits 25 years because he likes round numbers.


21)  Bobby Petrino's aide who got him in trouble and fired at Arkansas resigned this week.  Well, you knew this was coming.  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and once you are a hot female involved in some type of sexual something-gate, you lose the job and go to Playboy for a shoot.  Just thinking aloud here.  I have heard nothing about such a thing.  Give me a call, Playboy, when you get her signed on. I will buy the issue.  


22)  Donovan McNabb has proclaimed to the world that he feels his body of work is a Hall of Fame career.  Easy, tiger.  You must have just watched A Few Good Men.  Just because Kaffee convinced Colonel Jessep to pony up doesn't mean that you are going to influence the HOF writers to put your above average career in lights. Dan Marino didn't win a Super Bowl, but his career was quite obvious of his worth.  You?  Seven division titles, 1 conference championship, and 0 rings.  Your stats weren't exactly off the charts.  Not buying what you are selling, and I hope you can handle the truth.


22a)  A Few Good Men is like the court version of Rocky I.  It is decent throughout, the training seen is badass, and the ending makes it top flight.  Well, you can call the training scene in A Few Good Men right after Kaffee gets drunk in the rain, is cornered by Demi Moore, and starts thinking he can win, and the fight scene would be...well, you know it, but here it is to enjoy again.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hGvQtumNAY


23)  Thank you, Steelers Mike Wallace.  Thanks for announcing that you need Larry Fitzgerald money and therefore scaring away all possible suitors.  Your tunnel vision looks like it will allow the Steelers to re-sign you.  We are not re-signing you for your media or monetary savvy, just so you know.  Good thing.


24)  This Dwight Howard thing is so he said-she said.  Reports are coming out constantly with other reports refuting them.  This is like the basketball, non-retiring version of Brett Favre in the mid 2000's.
By the way, Dwight, if what they are saying now IS true (that he won't play for Stan Van Gundy), you are going to lose a lot of fans.  Whether you are unhappy or not, and now with a vague back injury, you ARE paid a LOT of money to play a game in front of people.  Hope it is not true, and I do feel good about it being not true.  I don't think he rolls that way.




25)  Rules are rules, people, and I care about this because of my sudden intrigue in the catching of tuna and rising prices/ no specials in grocery stores.  This guy got screwed.  http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2012/04/fishermans-world-record-tuna-catch-wont-count/1#.T5DOFbO0yfg


26)  Some people go to the gym to relieve the stress.  Some tell their significant other.  Redskins Jabar Gaffney feels it is best to tweet all of his contract/ workout missing thoughts.  Thanks, Jabar, for opening up to us.  Go get a puppy.  We don't care.


27)  Listen, rest of the world.  We get it.  Soccer is the most popular sport.  Oh, and thanks for this enlightening survey.  I feel smarter after reading about it. http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/breaking-news-old/soccer-is-like-sex-for-fans-european-study-finds/story-fn3dxity-1226333618488


28)  I am going to take a day off from work.  I am going to clear off my coffee table.  I am going to turn off everything and set up a video camera.  I will put my iPod shuffle headphones on the coffee table and record it motionless on the coffee table for 8 hours.  I hope to find out something.  I SWEAR they were untangled when I went to work and had them in my backpack, and it took 7 minutes for me to unravel them when they were stationary for 10 hours.  How do they DO that?  They are alive or something, and I plan to get to the bottom of this...just like the news van on my street.  My people will be in touch with your people about my findings.  I know you are excited about this project.


29)  Can't do much from the bench, Pens Aaron Ashman.  Nice, brutal crosscheck to the Adam's Apple of your opponent, and now you have to sit out in crucial games with your team against the wall.  Not.  Smart.


30)  I am not swaying from my preseason NBA predictions, barring an long absence from Derrick Rose. Bulls over Heat, Thunder over Clippers in Conference Finals.  Bulls over Thunder in Finals in six.  Sticking with it.  Like the Bulls a lot, the Thunder's time is not yet, the Clippers are one player and one year away, and the Heat have no post players or height inside (please do NOT say the words Joel Anthony), and no consistent shooters.


31)  I am not good at jokes, and I am not funny, but there HAS to be a Secret Service joke with some of the following lines.  Something about why didn't the Secret Service agent not wear a condom, and something about protecting the President...I am freaking Hall and Oates this week.  So close, yet so far away.


32)  Ozzie Guillen is back.  Dude, just release a photoshopped pic of a foot in your mouth, and call it a day.  Or, have more interviews in your office with that monstrous liquor reserve in the background.  Either works.


33)  Sean Payton is banned from any contact with the Saints for the year.  Would have LOVED to be a fly on the wall in his last conversation with coaches and players.  Maybe he mentioned the Green Bay Packers in it.  The joke is there, I promise.  It is an obtuse pull, but it is there.  Trust me.


34)  I agree with Elaine.  The English Patient was a dumb movie.  Stupid.  And I agree with the bathtub statement too.  The episode was just on and reminded me.


35)  If you are trying to like hockey, and want to find a game that REALLY will get you to possibly love it.  I will tell you this.  Catch Game 5 of the Pens/ Flyers Friday at 730 Eastern time.  This one will be a CLASSIC.


36)  That is it.  I did this in 95 minutes again.  I am trying to keep it streamlined, although I do have a LOT going on in my head and could probably keep going...it just that whole full time JOB thing that stops me.  Hope you enjoyed it.  Next rant will be Monday night.  Have a great weekend.  As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am going to get the flock out of here.  Peace. Last thought.  I am building this the old fashioned way.  It is growing.  If you like this, please pass along this link to a couple people over the weekend.  I would very much appreciate it.