Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
I know I just ranted two days ago, but need to get back on schedule. Nice weather is here. Blogging on school nights is one thing and very relaxing, but blogging on weekends is a whole different ballgame. I can go to parks and stuff.
No barking from the dogs, no smog,
and momma cooked a breakfast, with no hog.
1) Welcome, NHL playoffs. I am so glad you are here. I admittedly don't catch a lot of games during the year (March Madness just ended-I don't exactly have more than 24 hours in a day). To me, playoff hockey is a truly totally different game and the Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win in sports. Wow, did it start out with a gem? I sit down to watch my Flyers and they are already down 3-0 to the Penguins. I watch a moving comeback in their crib in an important Game 1. A couple notes:
-Not making excuses for that 3-0 hole they dug themselves, but those two penalties that set up two of the first three goals were WEAK for playoff hockey. This is the playoffs-give a team an advantage when it is DESERVED.
-No matter what the year and who is on the roster, the Flyers are one of the few teams that can be down and truly not think they are out.
-Laviolette not pulling his goalie after the three goals was gutsy, stubborn, and ended up being genius. I guess after 5 or 6 straight seasons with a revolving door at that position, you are more apt to stick to your guns. After all, they did go and grab Bryzgalov in an aggressive move, so you might as well stick with him.
-Wrong call on the missed offsides call or not (which allowed a Philly goal), it was a gem of a game, a hellacious comeback, a statement to a more talented Pens team, and a sign that we are in for a hell of a series.
-Do you think some of the other teams in the conference watched that game, and were giddy that only ONE of those teams can come out of that matchup, and be a little beat up in the process? Yup.
2) Dwayne Wade says players should be compensated for the Olympics. Less than 24 hours later, he totally goes the opposite way and says there is no need for pay for the Olympics. Dwayne, do you want me to make fun of your first statement being said at all, or the fact that you totally did a 360 (Seinfeld joke)? Either make up your mind before going public on a topic no one cares about less than 10 games before the NBA playoffs, or don't talk at all. I think your funny commercials might be going to your head. Maybe you should be concentrating on the fact that Derrick Rose is getting healthy or that the Celtics are...starting to look like the Celtics and have three, maybe four future HOF's on their roster.
3) In Ozzie Guillen's continuing apology, they had an interview with him in his manager's office at the stadium the other day. You see Guillen talking, and a MASSIVE row of booze on the shelf in the background. Wow, man. That explains a lot, although I still am curious on how you are not slurring when you stay something stupid. Or maybe that is why you go into a foreign tongue...to HIDE it. Yeah. Most teams have players who get nervous about going into their manager's office. Miami players hope they get free drinks and party.
4) Petrino and his mistress talked a lot evidently. Sometimes 12 times a day via text or phone. Bobby, go watch a Jason Bourne movie, buy an old school A-Team van with tinted windows (NOT a motorcycle is the point here), and TRY to be incognito if you are going to do something as wrong and sad as you did. You are not exactly splitting the atom over there, along with wrecking your own freaking family.
5) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Andre Drummond made the surprise announcement that is entering the NBA draft this year. Hmmm. THAT was a tough decision I bet. You improved as the year went on, you were already listed top 5 in the lottery, and UCONN can't play in the tournament next year. Ryan Boatright? You next, bro? Might as well. Jump ship.
6) The Celtics are hot, and a lot of that, as usual, is due to their rumored to be traded every 10 minutes PG Rajon Rondo. Rondo had 20 assists (in his SIXTH triple double of the year) the other night. In case you were losing sleep over not knowing this stat, this was his 19th game of more than 10 assists in a row, the longest streak since some guy named Stockton.
6a) Speaking of Stockton, I sit next to a guy at the bar who I made watch March Madness last year. He still calls Gonzaga "Gorgonzola." I am easily entertained, but I think that is kind of funny.
7) The Women's NCAA Bowling Championships started today. Knowing nothing about it except the contestants and pretending like I was drunk in Vegas, and assuming I could find the bet on the board, give me $30 on hyphenated Maryland-Eastern Shore. Assuming they bowl a lot in top ranked Nebraska, but I will go with the hyphen. I would want to live on the edge. Take odds if you can get them though.
8) I grew up long enough ago that I could catch The Three Stooges on regular TV (before we had 300 channels) enough to get the idea. It was funny. It was funny for what it was. It was silly. I am not exactly on the board of "We are officially out of movie ideas" board of directors, but the previews aren't even funny. WHY? What was the thought process of making this movie? I am supposed to be a little mature to have to have subconscious thoughts of going to the movie theater drunk for a certain movie, but I wouldn't see any other solution. Clearly, I will wait for video, and then I still can't see me getting in the mood for this travesty. I got a better idea. Why don't we videotape Sebastian Janikowski, Marcus Vick, and Ron Artest going out on the town? Sounds like a MUCH better movie.
9) Andrew Bynum continues his torrid streak of getting into the rant. This is off the wall, though. This is for a GOOD thing. I am not sure that qualifies, but we are making up the rules as we go and DiMaggio sure as hell isn't going to complain. Anyway, he goes INTO San Antonio, WITHOUT Kobe, and puts up 30 rebounds. That actually makes it appear that he is trying and using his talents. Crazy.
9a) Anyone else get the feeling that maybe Kobe shouldn't take 23 shots per game and possibly use their crazy front line a little more...after that signature win in S.A. The scoring title isn't THAT important, Kobe. Plus, that scoring title ain't going to put you above MJ in your subconscious race to top him.
10) The Knicks might make the playoffs. They have the talent on the first unit to run with people here and there. That being said, if I am talking about Toney Douglas and headcase JR Smith as the stars of the second unit, Houston, you have a problem. Not you, Rockets...just quoting a movie.
11) I have heard one of my old school favorites, Ice Cube's "It was a Good Day" a lot in the last few weeks oddly. It has just been on the radio more or my timing is good. LOVE the song. One of the best songs in the world to cruise down the street in the summer, windows down, hand on top of the steering wheel, and crank the radio. It is a classic. Makes me laugh about the guy who actually broke down the lyrics and figured out exactly what that day was. January 20th, 1992. Check it out, and enjoy the song again if you haven't heard it in a while. http://mobile.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2012/01/27/ice_cube_s_good_day_january_20_1992_.html
12) Tony Romo just became a dad. His son was delivered at 8 pounds, 8 ounces. If that is not a sign to throw to Dez Bryant more often, I don't know what is. Just keep Dez away from shopping malls and all is good.
13) For Roger Clemens' upcoming court case, lots of evidence was submitted. Gauze pads, needles, cotton balls, and Kleenex were all part of the mix. Putty is there for support for the person who took all of that evidence in, just in case that person is a germaphobe.
14) I am watching the Bulls-Heat game in the background aka (hey, kind of a tie-in to my Ice-Cube reference) the Eastern Conference Finals preview. Hubie Brown better just be resting up for the playoff run, because he is not announcing the game. Man, I love when he does games. Where are you, Hubie?
15) Pele recently has come out saying that Brazil's Neymar is a better soccer player than Lionel Messi. You might think that he is getting his country's back, but I think he is just using the argument that if you are not the best of your own generation, then you can't possibly be the best of all time. In a related story, Pete Sampras was caught saying that he thinks Rafael Nadal was the best player of our present generation. Take THAT and rewind it back, Federer.
16) The Boston Red Sox are 1-5. I know it is early, and I know there are 162 games, but hello, guys? Have you not been reading about the fact that this is the year that Toronto and Baltimore could make a jump. In a related story, the Yankees quickly got out of Boston blurb territory by winning their next 3 games after dropping the first three.
17) Break out that Frank Martin flow chart from a month ago. Got it? Cool. Larry Eustachey left Southern Miss after a 25 win season to go to...CSU. Is this an upgrade? I LIVE in Colorado. I know you are coming from football country, but Colorado is not exactly basketball territory. Confused. You must have really hated losing to the youngsters at UK and the gunners at UF. Or maybe you just ski. Yeah.
18) Baylor gets 3 years probation as the NCAA accepted their self imposed scholarship penalties. Well, maybe everyone WON'T exit stage left. Guess you don't really need all your scholarships when you amazingly just pulled a nice class in again oddly enough. http://rivals.yahoo.com/basketballrecruiting/basketball/recruiting/commitments/2012/Baylor-79
19) I guess the wire article about Mark Sanchez and Santonio Holmes working out together was just telling us, the public, that the Tebow effect is not happening yet. You have a larger town to spread the insanity around, NYC, but wait until September when Mark throws 3 interceptions in the first half. I don't envy you or your team. Something tells me that Rex Ryan will be in a situation where it just BEGS for him to say something stupid. We are not counting unhatched chickens on this one, people.
20) Is the ESPN "dunk of the night" really a "dunk of the night," or just a "Blake Griffin dunk of the night?" I am not bitching about this. His dunks are crazy. Not complaining, just noting how often it happens.
21) I FOUND it, and it is halftime of the Heat/ Bulls game. I found my only new liked show, that has suddenly returned to the air. Rules of Engagement, or as I call it, "Putty from Seinfeld Returns and I can deal with David Spade in a show since Putty is in it." (Guess I need an acronym for my title) Anyway, check it out. Thursday nights. The rest of the characters are ok, but Putty makes it. Tonight he realizes his wife has been giving him sex right before she asks a favor since they were married, and he tries to fight back. Good stuff.
21a) I dissed Criminal Minds because it became...funny. I gave it another shot last night. It was solid. I am not exactly recommending it yet, since I am scared of the CSI Paradigm Shift (earlier rant), but it was a good step in the right direction.
22) Sometimes people want to shoot, hit, or win their age. It is kind of a cliche. Imagine if Jamie Moyer jumped on that bandwagon. Crazy. I believe that Moyer is just trying to pitch his age, in mph.
23) I was sad, after a magical season, to see Kevin Love go down with a concussion, but then I realized the standings indicated they wouldn't make it to the postseason anyway. Class act, and solid player. I hope he gets some help in the draft, players around him mature, Ricky Rubio gets a full season in, and they make a run next year. I could see them as next year's LA Clippers. Out of the playoffs one year, and a legitimate player and in the mix the next year.
24) They are actually making a Men in Black III? What? I know your rap style is not popular anymore (Will, Summertime was on yesterday-I ROCKED it, but it ain't no Ice Cube), but I thought you were on the up and up, Will? Confused. I really would like to be a fly on the wall in those "We have officially run out of movie ideas" board of directors meetings.
25) I don't play fantasy baseball oddly enough, and I am not hip to all the rules, but Albert Pujols or not, I think that I would take Ryan Longoria in my fantasy draft. This is not a recommendation. I don't know the rules. Just saying the guy is young, on a good team, and is good for solid stats every freaking year.
26) Break open that flow chart again. Hey, Johnny Damon. There are great stories/ trivia questions about where great players ended their careers. Joe Montana, Franco Harris, Jerry Rice, etc. But YOU? You are making a whole separate career AFTER your long Red Sox career. Dare I say "journeyman," or will that offend you? Congrats on your new contract with the Indians. May the force be with you.
27) Joe Vitt. He is the Saints "interim" coach. Couldn't have ended better after all of the Parcells coverage. You have an assistant coach who knows the system, and won't buck it while filling in. Plus, on a personal note, this is like a really, really long job interview. Dibs.
28) Social media, and the luxury of knowing you are about to sign the best prospect since John Elway. Colts owner Jim Irsay is now touting Ryan Tannehill for the #3 pick, and says that teams will have to trade up to get Tannehill. Where did this connection come from? I was suspicious about Tebow and McDaniels, but now this will take over my curiosity. Side note. You can either take a MAYBE franchise QB or a guaranteed person to protect whoever you got. I would take USC lineman Matt Kalil in a heartbeat at #3.
29) Just me, but I don't think you should be exactly proud of getting the #1 pick in the draft for three straight years. Congrats, Edmonton Oilers. Pick a good one.
30) The #1 and #2 basketball recruits announced their destinations last night. Nerlens Noel is going to UK and Shabazz Muhammad is going to UCLA. Calipari gets the #1 recruiting class for the 4th year in a row, and Ben Howland gets the reasons why he will have NO excuses next year. John, I can't really hack on you in this hook...you got a championship. Damn. Ben, let's move to you. You might be riding your Final Fours still, but trust me. It has been a while. Aaron Afflalo, Russell Westbrook, and Darren Collison are quickly becoming trivia questions (meaning it has been a while). You better do something next year. You have fantastic perimter shooting, a big front line, and Shabazz and Kyle coming in, the #1 and #3 recruits depending on what site you are on. Ben, you are like Alice in Chains. No Excuses. Side note, people. Shabazz is getting all the fanfare, but I am more curious to see Kyle Anderson play. He needs some meat on his bones so he doesn't become another Shaun Livingston, but optimism is pointing more towards a Magic Johnson-like player. You should try for the latter, Kyle.
31) 40%, people. This is the number at maximum I believe we know about the story we read. Cuban/ Odom. That little "disagreement" they had at halftime? There HAS to be more. HAS to. You are telling me they are going to pay him, not trade him, and that is it? He pissed Cuban off fierce. I am guessing a little physical nature came into it, too. Hey, Lamar, probably would have been better if you would have "opened up" to Mark before the trade deadline. Just saying.
31a) Charles Barkley, you usually say funnier stuff. You just said that the Mavs paying Lamar was a joke. I was looking for something more.
32b) Charles Barkley, you are still one of my favorite people in the world, but I have to get this out. The Weight Watchers commercial where you are dressed in drag is...disturbing...to say the least. I will give you a pass on it though. By the way, contrary to what you say in the commercial, my eyes WERE looking at your face after the first 5 seconds of horrification (I don't care if that is not a word).
32) I am not scared to say I am 39 and that I still have posters in my apartment. I don't care. One of my favorites? St. Ides. Ice Cube. Just the mean eye of Ice Cube looking at you with the St. Ides symbol in his eye. That is it (I used to work in a liquor store part time). If any of you don't know what St. Ides is, it was the king, in my opinion of the 40 oz back in the day. O.E., Colt 45, and Mickey's had more staying power evidently, but I always loved my St. Ides. Give me that, a brown paper bag, and a porch or roof, and it has been a good day.
33) Thanks, Tim Lincecum. The day after I talk you up after Barry Zito's shutout, saying how tough your pitching staff will be if Zito gets on his game, you lose to the Rockies 17-8. Bad timing.
34) If the NBA standings hold as they were at press time, can you IMAGINE a first round matchup between Dallas and the Lakers? Defending champions against Kobe in the first round? That is like the basketball version of Philly and Pittsburgh in hockey.
35) That is it. Hell, I can't believe I got 35 hooks out off of two days of information. I didn't even have to use my AK, and I will get you more hooks on Monday (that rhymed). Heat/ Bulls are going into OT. Peace.
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