Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
My hypocrisy goes only so far...
1) There just HAD to be something brewing at Baylor. They were boating without a paddle just a couple years ago in men's basketball. No real tradition in basketball, and some guy named Scott Drew comes in with limited fanfare or experience. What happens? Quincy Acy. Perry Jones III. Deuce Bello. Quincy Miller. All, super recruits. Now, here come the penalties. 1200 texts and phone calls that went against the rules. Perry Jones III has already declared for the draft. Good call. Get out of dodge. I will assume a couple others go also with this story rising. I won't go as hard on the women's basketball penalties. They were a semi-power before Brittney Griner. The men's basketball team came out of NOWHERE. If it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, then it is probably a duck...or however the cliche goes.
2) Bobby Petrino gets fired, after the shaaa-dy motorcycle accident with his "female friend." I am assuming family life is not good with his wife and kids. Now, his professional life is out the door also. You deserve it, bro. You are a high profile coach at a high profile football school (Arkansas). You choose to chance your life on a chick half your age, then pick an open air, observable vehicle for your pleasure cruise. Dumb on all counts. You had a good gig. The only thing I WILL say positive about this is you know how to pick them. She looks pretty damn hot to me. http://blacksportsonline.com/home/2012/04/bobby-petrino-had-a-lady-friend-jessica-dorrell-with-him-during-motorcycle-accident/
2a) I saw a wire story where a Petrino rally had 200 participants. Is that number supposed to impress me, or are we making fun about the LACK of turnout? Confused.
3) Thoughts and prayers to the family of Blair Kiel (ex- Notre Dame QB). He died at a scary young 50 years old this week. Finding a silver lining? Well, at least he got to see his nephew follow in his footsteps and go to Notre Dame to play football as a QB.
4) It has come out that Jeremy Lin and his injury might not be ready for the first round of the playoffs. That is funny after looking at the schedule. The Knicks might not be IN the playoffs. Stop worrying about who is ready to play in that round and get there first. I see Chicago, Atlanta, Boston, LA Clippers, and Miami all in your final 10 games. I wouldn't be counting unhatched chickens yet (I LIKE quoting cliches wrong-call it a hobby).
5) I haven't seen a Broadway play in a LONG time, but I just might have to check out the new Magic/ Bird one that is coming around. Intrigued...Best individual sports rivalry I know.
6) Giants pitcher Barry Zito threw his first shutout in 9 years. Let me just say this. Zito used to be part of that three headed monster in Oakland back in the day. If he pitches ANYWHERE near the shadow of those days and finds some magic, and you throw in Lincecum and Cain, you won't even NEED to score more than a run or two a game. They will be unhittable.
7) The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Andrew Bynum's incredible streak of hooks in my rant continues. DiMaggio, look out. Andrew Bynum was ejected AGAIN, and they lost...again. Have THAT guy take the Wonderlic, for Pete's sake. Dude can evidently jump so high in addition to his height because he is carrying no weight between the ears.
8) The Florida Gators football team is trying to find their glory in the post-Tebow era. Losing their leading sack specialist from a year ago sure is not going to help things. Poor guy went down with a torn ACL in the spring game. Not a Gator fan, but sucks for them regardless.
9) My co-pilot on my flight back from DC was Doc Holliday. I found that funny. LOVE Tombstone, and thought Val Kilmer nailed the role. In my opinion, it is a top 5 movie as far as funny, usable quotes. I remember watching it once in college, and then re-watching it immediately with a pen and paper to write down all the quotes (we didn't really have much of an internet back then). "I got two guns. One for each of ya." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u5A0H6PkqE
10) Let's remember. My favorite basketball player of all time-I loved him for what he did ON the court, not off. Kind of an idiot, but he changed the game. Isiah Thomas. He just got fired this week from his stellar Florida International gig. You got ONE big recruit, and then didn't get better because of it. Please, bro. Just slink on into the night quietly. After wrecking the CBA, destroying the Knicks, getting sexual harassment charges brought against you, and now failing at this gig, please just let me remember you for bounce alley-oops to Dennis Rodman, stopping Magic, Michael, and Larry in their prime, and your sweet finger rolls in the lane. Just go away.
10a) The fact that you were "shocked" shocks me actually, Isiah. I am shocked you got another job.
11) How can you not love early season baseball? Everyone has a chance...for a bit. The problem comes with the fact that there are 162 games, evening out talent and money. The Mets are 4-0, Baltimore is 3-1, and Houston is 3-1. Yup. LOTS more games to be played. Hey, ESPN, stop declaring "early MVP candidates" too. WAY too early.
12) There are some people who really need to think before speaking. Like thinking for more than 5 seconds or so before ordering a coffee. Ozzie Guillen is one of these people. You knew he would get himself into trouble at some point this season with something controversial. I thought he would at least make 30 games or so before that happened. Less than 5 games into the season you get suspended? Wow, dude. I would have lost a lot on the over/ under. Nice Castro hook. You had NO chance in coming back in any apology on THAT one. You are telling us that "love" is different in the languages? I think not. I WILL say this. You DID look sincere in your apology. Still, what is done is done, and it is what it is (Wow, I am on a cliche kick clearly).
13) There are times to come back to school, and there are times to go pro. Thomas Robinson, you go, bro. You gave AD a run for player of the year, and your team over-achieved by getting to the final game. Your life is an Old Milwaukee commercial. It doesn't get any better than this. You will be a solid player and there is nothing left to prove.
14) Bubba Watson wins the Masters. In a CRAZY final day including the fourth ever double eagle of all time on that course, the good guy wins it. Ping is making 5000 pink drivers now, you can go celebrate by taking a glory drive in your General Lee, and everyone loves you. Bubba is extremely likable, has mad skills, has never had one golf lesson, and hit a memorable shot to say the least on the last hole. You are also an Old Milwaukee commercial. It doesn't get any better than this. Class act. I hope you win a LOT more, bro.
14a) Talk about respect for Augusta, check this out. The fan who got the double eagle ball GAVE IT BACK to Augusta. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Where is Aretha Franklin when I need her?
15) Poor Rory McIlroy blew up AGAIN. Things happen in threes, Rory. Maybe you should take a year off next year.
16) Warren Sapp files for bankruptcy. What the f^&* did you do with all that money? You survived the football playing days. You get a great gig on TV, with less "temptation." Obviously, you work hard/ play hard. I WISH I had a chance to figure out how to blow that much cash. You and I could watch Brewster's Millions and figure out a plan. Call me, Warren.
17) I KNOW I said the Bulls will win it all. I KNOW Rose is fighting an injury. I KNOW he is reigning MVP. I got a plan though. Just tell me when he is back. Stop giving me hour by hour updates. Take your stories about his health and Kobe's shin and go away. If Sidney Crosby gets hurt again, put his updates in the same bucket. Geez.
18) The Mavericks and Lamar Odom parted ways. Evidently, there was a yelling incident at halftime with Mark Cuban this weekend. I am confused though. He is listed as inactive for the rest of the season. Can he be picked up by someone? Can they trade him? No matter what kind of head problems he is experiencing, it just seems wrong that a healthy 6'10" guy with ball skills is sitting home alone during playoff time. Someone figure out a WAY. Ten to one says the Heat figure out that way. There is no basis for this conspiracy theory-just thinking out loud. And he used to play there.
19) I have a laundry room. I was in there FIVE MINUTES after the washer stopped. My clothes were on the dryer. Take it EASY, people. Are we pretending to do laundry on the east coast? Should I run around stressed and drive to work tomorrow honking my horn at normal red lights? You are doing laundry and are probably home on the couch. Leave my shit alone. I just bought new boxers. I don't want to lose them.
20) The Los Angeles Clippers played an NBA record 20 games in March. That is a LOT. Sure, we have a compressed schedule-I get that. NBA haters complain about the beauty of the NBA game. They must REALLY be haters since these guys evidently have no time to practice either.
21) Bill Parcells is evidently not going to be the interim coach for the Saints this year. Damn, it was worth a shot. It would have been fun. It does make more sense though. Having an assistant coach knowing their present system seems much more logical than bringing in a legend with set ways.
21a) I just watched an interview with Drew Brees on ESPN. He looked PISSED. He SHOULD be.
22) I haven't exactly taken a survey of the NBA's Western Conference, but I am pretty sure without even asking anyone that NO ONE wants to mess with the Memphis Grizzlies in the playoffs. I could actually see a top tier team giving away a game late in the year to dodge them. I would. Rudy Gay is about to become a household name. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Yay, I snuck a Seinfeld reference into my Grizzlies hook. This week, Memphis quietly stopped Miami's 17 game home streak.
23) I don't have a vote, but you can count me in on the movement to name Indiana as the preseason #1 team for next year's NCAA basketball season. They have been "making a comeback" for years since Kelvin Sampson jacked them up, and now they will shift roles. With Watford and Zeller coming back (as of press time), and a top 3 recruiting class coming in, they are officially back, people. Life is better with Indiana basketball in the mix. And how can you not root for a class act like Tom Crean?
24) I think Jon Gruden just SOUNDS like football and I think that Dennis Leary just SOUNDS like Ford trucks. Side note. Dennis Leary, No Cure for Cancer, in my opinion is one of the funniest comedy stand ups I have EVER heard. Here is a tune for you all. Check out the entire CD though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs
25) Andrew Luck's seven step drop is so fast. That guy is a GEM.
26) My church is SO freaking cool. If you live in Denver, you HAVE to check it out at some point. The band busted out Aerosmith's Dream On, complete with falsetto at Easter. AWESOME. I went to one of 5 services and still had to sit in the upper level. Plus, Gil Jones, the lead pastor, is literally one of the most grounded and best speaking pastors you have ever heard in your life. http://pathwayschurch.org/
27) Soccer news. Clint Dempsey, one of the few prize players we have from the US, just set Fulham's season record for most goals. That actually is pretty badass. Kids, start playing soccer...quickly. I want my trip to Rio in 2014 to mean something.
28) The Texas Rangers just signed 2B Ian Kinsler to a $75 million contract. Good signing, and good sign that they plan on staying with their present dominance money wise, with or without Josh Hamilton. It is a shame they lose pitchers and can't lure ONE big name there, but they can continue to try and outhit people I suppose. It won't get you a ring, but it makes for fun baseball.
29) I like sandwiches. I sometimes think I have a tapeworm with the amount of food I eat. That being said, I don't think I am up for paying $22.22 for a freaking sandwich, even if it is named for a guy who speaks at Texas churches in his free time on holidays. That is a lot of money for a sandwich. Speaking of "holidays," http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmdfD2byTuY
30) I don't know what kind of old guy I will be, and I know I didn't exactly go to a football powerhouse for schooling, but I LOVED this story. As Dennis Leary said, "you got to have goals." http://aol.sportingnews.com/ncaa-basketball/story/2012-03-28/kentucky-louisville-rivalry-fight-at-dialysis-clinic
31) Odd stat that I am sure will help you sleep better. The Blue Jays won 18 straight full squad spring games in March. I am not sure what that means, and they are 2-2 in real action, but I thought you needed a stat to tell your friends.
32) Steven Stamkos scored a record 5 OT goals this season. Is it me, or would you think that number would be higher for an entire season? I would have guessed at least 8.
33) Jason Dufner was leading after Day 2 of the Masters. Then, he went away. Can I bet on the Day 2 leader? Is that possible? Dude is always in the mix, and then vanishes before even coming close to being a household name. You are like a Hall & Oates song, bro. You are "so close, yet so far away." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXPMYA7EqYE
34) Video games have taken over a lot of people's lives. I was at the airport Friday, and had a guy using a power outlet next to me. He was in a suit, about 45, and sitting there playing on his tablet some shoot 'em up video game...with noise. Come on, bro. I wear a backwards hat at age 39, but I would rank my maturity level higher than yours. Ok, that MIGHT be stretching it. Moving on.
35) Kings PF DeMarcus Cousins recently said that Blake Griffin was a good "actor." Are you TRYING to get on the getting longer list of posterization? Note to self, Blake. WRECK him.
36) It might seem like an odd statement, but I truly think that Mike Miller being healthy is the ONLY way the Bulls lose to the Heat. You might not know him, aside from carrying his UF team to the finals against Michigan State back in the day, but know he is very important. He, by himself, spreads the opponents defense because he is a shooter.
37) I didn't see any Dwight Howard/ Van Gundy news in the last few days. Come on, guys. Do, or say, something funny and ambiguous.
38) Is Kim Kardashian even out of her marriage to Kris Humphries. Now, I am hearing that she is an item with Kanye West. Talk about polar opposites. Hey, Kim, you ever hear that phrase about paint drying...yada yada yada?
39) Yu Darvish, the across seas phenom who pitches for the Rangers, recently got a blurb for winning his first game and being 1-0. Read the fine print, people. Guess what his ERA is after one start. GUESS. 7.94. Talk about my earlier hook with the Rangers having to outhit people. Wow.
40) That is it. I am accidentally streamlining this, because I just busted out these hooks in about 95 minutes. Quoting Doc, "Not me. I'm in my prime." Hooks, lines, and sinkers. I'm your huckleberry. Peace.
40a) There are just too many great quotes from Tombstone. Here. Check out the rest. It is like picking a "bad" Seinfeld episode. Can't be done. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108358/quotes
Completely agree with you on Gruden. He sounds like football and his enthusiasm about the sport is like watching Favre's kid-like passion while he was still at Green Bay (waiting for your comment on Favre). I'm still ticked the lakers traded him.
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