I am a dog person.

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


1) Not wanting to just sit on the boring BountyGate, the Saints have decided to up the ante.  GM Mickey Loomis evidently listened to opposing coaches during games through wire-tapping.  This is bad, obviously.  I am looking forward to getting more information on this before piling on too much.  This will get MUCH more interesting.  I say this because I know we have it proven that he was listening in, but I want to know his benefit for it.  Either he was taking notes for the next time they faced the team, or there is a much larger part of this deal in whether he was finding a way to relay this immediate information to coaches so quickly.  Whatever his end game was, it is still bad.  Just saying there are different levels of this yet to be determined.


2)  Arkansas hired special teams coach John L. Smith to replace womanizer Bobby Petrino for their football head coaching position this week.  I like this call.  You play in the SEC.  You have somewhat of a football tradition.  You COULD bring in a big name. This is too late in the game.  We are about four months until the first game.  Leave someone at the head spot that knows the system, has met some of the recruits, and won't want to change the method to their kids preparation.  Call it the college version of the Saints predicament.  After that scandal, you just want a seamless transition that stays under the radar,that doesn't rock the boat, and that no one notices until they start winning or losing actual games.


3)  Virginia Tech fired basketball coach Seth Greenberg this week.  I like Seth as a personality, but I hope no one feels he doesn't deserve this.  I get that the tradition of VA Tech basketball lacks a certain luster, and therefore maybe there shouldn't be high expectations.  But.  You could say that Seth sealed his own fate.  He comes in and gets top 25 recruiting classes year in and year out (stealing VA players from UVA mind you.  Damn you).  Therefore, he has better teams.  What did he do with these teams?  He either barely made or more often barely missed the tourney each year.  They might not have a history that makes the fan base angry, but when you know the results of your quality team are not nearly living up to what you are putting on the floor every other night, then a change is needed.


4)  Ben Howland.  You are now on the clock.  You left Pittsburgh after several successful runs to go to UCLA, some people's dream basketball job.  You get to a couple Final Fours.  Good job.  You have been off the radar of any hot seat amazingly after being in mediocrity for a good portion of the last five years.  After landing the highest ranked and third ranked players in the nation, you quietly snag top 100 recruit Tony Parker this week.  If you don't produce something with this congregation of talent, then you might be joining Seth Greenberg at his favorite watering hole.  I give you two years.  One to mold the talent and possibly get another good recruiting class, and one more to capitalize on it.  Good luck.  No excuses now.


5)  In the real life version of Usual Suspects merged with Gone in 60 Seconds, apparently there was a Death Race 2012, where 2 unnamed police officers allegedly escorted a line of top flight sports cars down the highways of New Jersey in route to Atlantic City at speeds over 100mph.  They are saying NFL RB Brandon Jacobs was in this fancy line of cars.  Lots of jokes I could make about his inclusion in the idiotic "race," but I just have one question.  Aren't you supposed to be in San Fran or doing SOMETHING showing us you want to do well this year?


6)  Article I didn't open because I am SO burned out from reading all the articles the LAST time Roger Clemens was in the headlines.  "Judge restricts Pettite testimony."  I refuse to dig deeper into this, but this just sounds shady, considering Pettite's testimony was previously considered key the last go around.  I am sure Clemens will get out of this one, too, although I would still LOVE to be a fly on the wall when they bring pieces of evidence out such as old needles, samples, etc.  Eeewww.


7)  Let's just keep this one simple.  I drove home at 530pm on Friday from work.  I live in Colorado, it is legal to "properly" celebrate 420 in the park around the corner from my house, and if I only had a dime for every person at street corners on their way back home from that event, standing on street corners, staring aimlessly at nothing in particular, I would have a lot of dimes.  Very entertaining drive home.


8)  I will try to find video on this before I close this out tonight, but I just saw Bobcats Tyrus Thomas get ejected for throwing an elbow.  They reviewed it.  He got tossed.  One problem.  He didn't hit the guy at all.  The Bobcats are having a bad enough season.  Can you at least not boot their players out for no good reason? (I couldn't find the video.  Google it.  They played the Wizards)


9)  Speaking of elbows, one of the captains on my "team" (Metta, Janikowski, Marcus Vick, Michael Vick, Plaxico Burress, Jennifer Capriati, Diego Maradona, etc.) once again rose to the top of the heap.  Metta World Peace aka Ron Artest, "accidentally" elbowed James Harden this week.  Some oddities about this, although nothing is really odd when it involves World Peace.
-it was after a dunk...by WORLD PEACE!  What were you mad at?


-it doesn't matter whether you have behaved well over the last 5 years.  Taking away ALL of the other odd things you do, you still were the instigator in one of the most polarizing NBA events in recent memory.  A blip on your radar will ALWAYS remind us about that fan-included fight.


-the fact that you can say it was accidental is ridiculous.  In the replay, it is SO obvious that you actually change the trajectory of your elbow to make sure you will catch James cleanly.


-I don't think it will, but you better hope Harden doesn't miss a lot of time from this injury.  Even outside Oklahoma City, people will have another reason to dislike you.


-I am not even a Laker hater, but truly am rooting for you to be out a few games in your first series.  Maybe, if your idiocy actually lets down some of your teammates in a series, and you lose, then perhaps some reality will seep into that Bubble World dome of yours.


10)  Hockey thoughts (mostly Pens/ Flyers) for the weekend:
-I thought Pens Tyler Kennedy's simulated lambeau leap after a goal was freaking awesome.  Check it out. 


-Even though I called Philly in six, I was surprised about how easily the Flyers beat the Pens in the last game.  The Pens are loaded at most positions, and it goes to show you why 3-0 comebacks in ANY sport don't happen too often.


-Although I am glad I am not in the NHL and my facial hair thing isn't too strong, I think the whole hockey/ playoffs/ beard thing is really, really cool...every year.


-Pens Evgeny Malkin gets a lot of dumb minor penalties for a superstar hockey player.  Hey, Evegny, I still think you skating with the puck is amazing considering your size, but let your enforcers get the penalties, bro.


-Interesting stat in the Sunday Flyers/ Pens game.  The Flyers had two power play goals at one point...on TWO shots.


-I laughed during one of the games when I heard a ref blatantly yell at a player in easy range of the TV microphone "That was real f%^&ing close to a f$%^ing penalty."  


-I love the Bridgestone hockey puck commercial.  It is clever.  If you haven't seen it, it is Bridgestone having themselves filmed during the new release of their new hockey puck.  They show a player hitting the pucks, the puck goes 4 feet, therefore showing us the quality of Bridgestone's tires in bad conditions like ice.


-In Friday's win, Pens goalie Fleury had 8 shots stopped in one single power play.  Meant to be their night.


-Also, in the meant to be win, Briere had two point blank shots in the preceding talked about series that were stymied. 


-I watch hockey when I can, and ALWAYS catch the Flyers games, but hardcore hockey fans must be in heaven this year, it being the first year that every single game is televised.  Kind of like their version of March Madness.  I like it, and it will bring in new fans also.


-I played piano when I was a kid.  Every time I watched 2.5 Men with Charlie Sheen, or watch ANY baseball or hockey game, and I think how do I either become a jingle writer or one of those stadium/ arena organists.  Washed up piano player thoughts.


-Whatever year it is, it is kind of weird not having the Red Wings left in the playoffs so early in the mix.  Kind of sad too, that we probably don't have any more time of watching Nicklas Lidstrom of playing his mistake free/ beautiful brand of hockey.


-Hey, Washington Capitals.  Good luck to you and everything, but not sure if it is too wise to allow the defending champions to force a game 7 with you.  Just saying.


-Claude Giroux had a monster series with 14 points in 6 games.  One point away from getting the franchise record for a series, and if he wasn't a household name before, he is now.


-The Flyers amount of blocked shots in the final game was a huge part of the win.  Shows effort, shows focus, and shows that you are where you are supposed to be on the play.


-Old guy Flyers Jagr was the only player with at least one point in each of the games.  He brings experience, a voice to the locker room, and plenty of clever tricks on those power plays, which the Flyers are literally raking with.


-Best record in their conference once again, and again going home a loser.  The Vancouver Canucks are failures again.  Word is that the San Jose Sharks and Canucks are having drinks together RIGHT.  NOW.  


-With the Phoenix Coyotes story being such a great one, and with them doing so well in the playoffs, it is a shame that the remembrance from their appearance so far is the Coyotes Raffi Torres suspension for his malicious hit on Marian Hossa.  25 games, and I would have to say I absolutely agree.  


-Whether you are trying to like the sport, or already do, you will agree that, after pummeling each other for an entire series in a brutal sport, the handshakes at the very end are SO freaking cool.  SO pure.


11)  Rashad Evans and Jon Jones.  My first UFC fight since I remember that I allotted time to watch, in entirety.  I wouldn't have shelled out $50 for it, but no cover at my old bartending gig?  Done and done.  It was truly worth it for me.  Sure, a lot of the UFC hardcore people around me were complaining about the lack of "action," but I disagree.  From a pure fighting perspective, it was high quality exchanges, and clearly looked like two guys who knew each others every move.  Only a couple takedowns, and really no blood, but it was fun watching two guys using their usual stuff to no avail.  Bottom line was this.  Jones long reach on both his punches and kicks gave Evans no real shot, but pretty admirable that Evans made it through 5 rounds relatively unscathed.  Jones elbow usage was another factor.  Dude uses those things so methodically.  I guess World Peace watched this fight, too.


11a)  Highlights in the undercard?  My new favorite fighter is Rory McDonald.  Dude kicked ass in the fight right before the main event, and obtained one more fan over here.


12)  Happy trails, Brian Dawkins.  You were a class act, a solid player, and had a great career.  Don't think you will be enshrined, but you can be damn proud of your career.  Plus, one more spot for Roethlisberger to throw at next September in Denver.


13)  I don't care how old he is.  I don't care if it can't happen.  I am rooting for Rulon Gardner to make the Olympics again.  I think I am still a fan from that whole missing appendage story in the snow.


14)  I find it ironic that I got stuck in a movie Sunday afternoon, and it was A Few Good Men, being that my last theme for my rant was for the movie.


15)  Hindsight is 20/20.  Just saying that had Dwight Howard known he was definitively going under the knife and would be out of commission until the season next year, that he would hedged his comments about not wanting to play for Stan Van Gundy.  I have a feeling he would have waited it out a little more.  Now he is somewhere laying on a recovery table, looking a little less classy whatever the shake down was.


15a)  By the way, with Orlando missing Turkoglu AND Howard, they are ripe for the taking in the playoffs.  Whoever draws them will quietly be smirking.


16)  I have decided I don't like people who wear a team's colors, and then do something totally useless and not constructive WHILE their team is playing.  I was somewhere the other night where a dude was decked out in Rockies gear.  The Rockies were on inside, and he sat on the patio for hours with no interest in the game.  Show some interest, or change your attire.


16a)  Kind of sad that the Rockies, in that game, walked someone to get to the pitcher, and then they give up a 3-run home run...to THAT pitcher.


17)  I am not the biggest Carmelo Anthony fan, but I was still impressed by his showing against playoff team Atlanta Hawks.  39 points, 10 rebounds, and only 2 turnovers.  Nice work, Melo.


17a) With Amare coming back, Melo carrying them for now, and Lin most likely returning (not sure if that is a good or bad thing at this point), I still would not want to mess with these guys in the playoffs.  They have superstars, some depth, and a new coach who has changed their view on defense.


18)  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Jason Statham is coming out with another kick ass action movie.  In their alternating sequence, I guess Jet Li has one coming in another few months.  Just WAITING for Statham to come out with a Kindergarten teacher comedy movie.


19)  Dick Clark died this week.  I admit I am about 7% curious who they replace Dick Clark with on New Year's Eve.


20)  Is it bad that I chuckle every time STILL when Stewie calls Peter "fat man" in Family Guy?  Or when talk dog Brian tries to fight off being interested in a ball.  THINK about it.  They create a character who:
-is a dog
-has an episode where he becomes a drug dog and then becomes an addict
-talks intelligently
-loves drinking martinis
-BUT still loves to chase a ball
-BRILLIANT.


21)  Well, it is what it is.  You go to UCONN to win championships in basketball.  That is it.  That is the plan.  You lose a year of tourney time in penalties with the cast of athletes they have there, and what do you get?  Early entries, defections, and transfers.  Jim Calhoun says he can still win without all of these guys, and I admit I am impressed that the backcourt is returning, but there are also a lot of students at UCONN suddenly googling "how do I walk on in basketball," thinking I can one day say "Oh yeah?  Well, I balled at UCONN."


22) Here is what my May looks like:
-I am a dog person
-I think cats are cocky animals
-I am nice to a neighbor, who has cats, but probably not cable
-I said I would watch her cats for two weeks
-I have watched people's cats before.  They are at least low maintenance. Feed, change litter, call it a day.
-She wants me to come over "to get to know" them...a couple times a week preceding my watch time
-Does she have cable while I am spending this quality time?  How does one even survive without ESPN News?  I am not even sure how I functioned before its invention.
-Ugghhh.


23)  This is a sad story.  No jokes.  Just sucks all the way around.  As I said last rant, marathons are of no interest to me. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5gregw2m82sWZfNdKMEctSyh1rIrA?docId=N0460091335055688433A


23a) Some person from Kenya won it.  Surprise, surprise.


24)  The Atlanta Falcons have turned down the show Hard Knocks, who are still without a team, and somehow know that society might have a meltdown if the Jets do the show again.


25)  Congratulations to Philip Humber, who pitched the 21st perfect game in history.  Sorry I had to look you up, Philip, and we won't talk about that last full swing/ check swing.  Nice work.  Also nice way to follow up the no hitter from Ervin Santana, who got a no-hitter on a wrong call by the ump.  Can we have a no-hitter or perfect game end in a whiff?


25a)  Reminded me also, guys, that if you HAVE to watch a chick flick, and you need SOME way of having sports normalcy in the movie, rent For the Love of the Game, with Kevin Costner.  She will thank you for the actual love part of the movie, and you will get by because it takes place during a baseball game.


26)  Rafael Nadal routed Djokovic this weekend.  Notice it was a tournament that I would have to look up the name of, and not one any of the Grand Slams not named the French Open.


27)  It doesn't exactly square things up from 2004 in Boston's 3-0 comeback in the playoffs, but the Yankees 15-9 win after being down 9-0 sure added another chapter to the story.  Pretty freaking amazing comeback.  Since it was happening at the same time of Humber's perfect game, it made it even more exciting.


28)  Curtis Painter signs with the Ravens.  This is actually a good spot for him. 
-he isn't backing up a future Hall of Famer
-they have the type of offense that doesn't exactly expect record numbers each game
-he is backing up a guy that has increasing impatience from the media, team, and fans.  
-if he DOES get a shot, two touchdowns and a field goal will do in most games.


29)  Mike Wallace has come out saying he will "play with the Steelers if he has to."  I am glad he will end up with them eventually as the dude is simply sick, but talk about a change of stories from the WR's from last year.  One refuses to put any other uniform on besides a Steelers jersey and then retires, and one just wants to get paid.  Talk to him, Hines.


30)  I like how the NBA Union Committee votes 8-0 to remove Fisher, and then Fisher "rejects" this vote.  Sounds like a solid hierarchy/ system you got going on there.


31)  How can you NOT love Larry Brown?  At his SMU acceptance speech, he brought back the greatest rant of all time, Iverson's practice monologue.  Check this out. http://larrybrownsports.com/college-basketball/larry-brown-allen-iverson-practice-smu-video/131383


32)  Good to hear that the Vikings might not be moving.  There is progress to revive the new stadium project.  I hate to have ANY team leave any city, but I would hate the great memories of this franchise to have to shift locations and lose some of its very loyal fan base.


33)  My boss made a great point the other day.  Blake Griffin was already a dunking machine, but he has entered the wrong type of territory.  It is one thing to be the dunk of the night every night and be the best athlete in your sport.  It is another thing to let that change you.  Stop the stare downs, bro.  The dunk itself sends the message.  Don't start being THAT guy.


34)  My thoughts go out to the family of ex-Falcons Ray Easterling, who committed suicide this week.  Ray was part of the group who was suing the NFL about concussions, and it saddens me that this is his method of exiting the earth.


35)  This is an asterisk.  "*"  So is this.  Alex Rodriguez just passed Ken Griffey for 5th on the all time homer list.


36)   Dwayne Wade and LeBron were suddenly mean dudes in the game against the Bulls last week.  Don't TRY to be tough, guys, or to CREATE friction.  It is not how you two roll.  It just looks...manufactured and forced.


37)  I hate when I am typing fast, hit some combination of keys that shows I am about to do something useless.  I am glad to know there are several types of ways to do things on my laptop, but very irritating.  Plus, if you are GOING to show me what I just accomplished, can you at least have a blurb at the bottom showing me the combination of freaking keys I just hit in case it IS useful and I wish to use it again?


38)  The Alabama parent is "not sure how he broke the championship trophy."  Check your trashcan for empties, and I am sure it will give you a clue.  Maybe you can find a half eaten eclair in there while you are at it.  "Above the rim."


39)  Congrats to Martin Brodeur for breaking Patrick Roy's playoff shutout record the other night.  That is a nice record, as it truly shows you were at your best frequently when your team needed you most.  Keep doing well, Martin.  I would rather that you guys are left than Carolina for my Flyers when they ever meet.


40)  Twenty years from now, it will be called the Pujols Rule, just like there is a Bird Rule in basketball.  The Angels loaded his contract with long term incentives.  The league has decided that this was a little excessive, and that there will be no more contracts like this.  Speaking of, Albert, I hope none of those perks were for home runs THIS year, because at press time, you have ZERO jacks thus far.


41)  Sorry, Pudge.  I forgot to mention you last rant.  Happy trails to one of the best catchers to ever play the game.  Not only did he have the offensive stats.  He had the plate and game calling skills too.  Total package in his prime.  Thanks for letting us watch you play, Pudge.


42)  I like Yankees Ivan Nova now.  When asked who the best pitcher in the game these days, her said "well, I think I would say me."  Awesome.


43)  In the epic matchup between Ronaldo and Lionel Messi this weekend, Ronaldo not only prevailed in taking the goal scoring lead, but his team won also.  They are both going for the season record for goal scoring.  I will write one more sentence on this to make this an oddly long, non World Cup related, soccer hook.


44)  TRADE BAIT.  Making himself the frontrunner for a rent for the playoffs pick up before the trade deadline, A's Bartolo Colon has started the season 3-1. 2.37 ERA.  He is too old for any long term contracts, but he has the track record and experience to help a team on the brink of being good.  Sticking with my gut feeling about this team, I will say the Nationals make a run at him.


45)  That is it.  Tired, and that whole full time job thing.  I travel to New York Thursday (FINALLY get to see the WTC memorial after all of my childhood trips) and will be packing on Wednesday night and prepping for work on Thursday night, so my next rant will most likely be a Friday or Saturday thing.  Have a great week, I hope you enjoyed, and hooks, lines, and sinkers.  Full NBA breakdown next rant.  Just waiting for the smoke to clear on the matchups.  Peace.