Kylie Minogue is short.

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


Twenty minutes of hooks...


NEW FORMAT:
I have received your feedback, and I will now apply that feedback to the Rant.  Shorter rants more often.  This alleviates me also from allocating 3 hours twice a week to speak my mind.  I will be on the clock...literally.  I have the usual list in front of me.  I have exactly 20 minutes at most to start AND stop.  No more writing after that.  No editing.  This should make it more readable to you all, and not have YOU have to allocate more time than you want to catch up on sports.  Look for daily blogs, worse case every other day.  Don't worry, I won't announce a Rant daily.  If you like the Rant, just check more often.  I will post this paragraph a few times to make sure everyone knows.  Let's start the experiment of getting me actually to STOP.  Twenty minutes starts....NOW.


(taking a deep breath as I prepare to get mine in 20 minutes...)


12:06


1)  The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Tim Tebow won some award from some entity for their annual "Good Guy Award."  Ugghhhh.


2)  On the other side of the spectrum, Ryan Leaf gets 9 months lockdown for rehab as penalty for breaking into houses for drugs.  I am surprised he didn't make any lowball pregnancy joke (because of the time he is sentenced for) or something else idiotic, but give the guy time...he will come through.  Anyway, dude has 9 months to sit around and realize how much of an idiot he actually is-SOMETHING good has to come out of it, right?  Either that, or I can't wait to read the wire in 9 months when he gets out.  He will outdo himself.


3)  So...the 90 year old trainer of Secretariat, apparently sensing the end is near, asked the horse racing commission to recheck their horse's Preakness win in 1973.  That is not the odd part of the story.  The odd part is that A) they DID change the time B) the new time was the track record.


4)  Keeping with horses, someone figured out recently that if you take the gooey stuff on the back of a certain South American frog and apply it to your racehorse, the horse becomes faster.  Once again, that is not the kicker.  Evidently, a lot of people are aware of this, as 30 horses have been busted with it in just the last few days.


5)  Anthony Davis visited the New Orleans Hornets for a "workout."  He never really worked out, and was in jeans the whole time.  That is not a joke actually.  That is just a report.


6)  Ichiro gets hit #2500.  Dude is going to go into our Hall of Fame with years lost of being overseas first.  CRAZY.


7)  If anyone cares, ex-Cy Young winner Frank Viola has a daughter.  She is a diver.  In flipping through channels the other night, she is probably on her way to London.  Tell your friends.


8)  EURO 2012: In upcoming games, give me...
Portugal over Czech
Spain over France
Germany over Greece
England over Italy
(I know.  I am not exactly going out on a limb in the first three games, and the last one is kind of a toss-up)


9)  Kylie Minogue was on Tosh.0 last night.  I never knew how short she really was.  That video with her in singing in the convertible obviously gave me no bearings to height.  Tiny chick.


10)  Deron Williams' free agency decision is beyond big in the NBA and will severely swing power to a team, or totally energize the Nets if he stays (it will give them power to lure one or two other key components there).  My bet is still Dallas.


11)  Pacquiao won the probe into his fight scoring.  Asterisk only slightly there now, and they now will have LOTS of people watching that November rematch.


12)  MMA fighter Chel Sonnen was interviewed in ESPN Mag this month.  The last question?  What is your overall goal?  Answer?  To get into the rarefied air of superstardom so I don't have to do interviews.


13)  UCONN and 9 other schools are out of the postseason next year for APR failure (not too smart of kids).  You don't need to look at the rest of the list.  They are all directional/ st./hyphenated schools.  That is a bad sign on you, UCONN.


14)  BCS playoff talks continue.  In the words of Rocky's trainer in Rocky IV.  You know what you have to do.  Now do it.  DO it.


15)  Minnesota won't trade Harvin, and Harvin now leaves camp.  Hey, cut the kid a break.  We lost T.O., and now SOMEONE has to morph into the equivalent crybaby.


16)  The Fillerbuster made an odd joke on Rashard Lewis's salary and WHAT happens?  He is traded less than 3 hours later.  I guess the Wizards read my blog.


17)  Danny Ainge says KG is considering retirement.  Don't do it, Kevin.  Here is an idea.  Say you will be a backup 4 or 5 wherever Deron Williams goes.  You could be the Big 1.5.


18)  Heat/ OKC tonight.  I admit I have a bad feeling about tonight.  Half because I want more basketball, and half because I said OKC will win this thing.  Well? I say that James Harden's 4.5 game coma ends tonight, and they make this whole series a little interesting going back to their crib.


19)  Time is up.  12:25.  As one shepherd said to the other, I am going to get the flock out of here.  Peace.