Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
1) LeBron James won his third MVP this week. Congratulations, LeBron. You truly had one of the better seasons anyone has had in a while, and with three MVP's, you join some elite company. With more? Kareem and Jordan. With also three? Bird, Wilt, and Mr. Russell. Ummm. One of these things is not like the others, and you BETTER be getting your first at some point, because all these boys have multiple titles. There is no need to shoot for the top, as Mr. Russell has more rings than fingers, but you should probably at least register your first one for us to be still talking about you fifty years from now. I am rooting against you since you decided to MAKE your own team, instead of just BEATING the other best players. I never heard anything about Barkley wanting to be on the Celtics.
2) "Moving day" in golf is Saturdays. Tiger used to make a living of using these days to stranglehold the competition. These days? Not so much. He struck the ball great, but 33 putts in a round is NEVER going to get you moving anywhere in the right direction. Congratulations to Matt Kuchar. Take this win, his being in contention at several other majors over the years, his solid game, and his very likable personality, and I say this guy wins a big one within the next year.
3) One thing that I found odd about the Flyers 2nd round exit to the Devils. If you scanned the leaders in a couple key areas, the Flyers still had the top two ranked players, making their exit head scratching. At the start of the conference finals, they had the playoff top two in goals, assists, and power play goals.
4) I can't even imagine still having to deal with constant Tebow articles every day like New York is dealing with now. This week, I was given the information that can now allow me to sleep at night. Tim Tebow evidently changed his dog's name from Bronco to Bronx. Actually, that is kind of clever....ummm...I mean how stupid of article that is. It kind of IS clever though. I guess that is the nicest thing I will ever write about Tim Tebow.
5) All the times I think I have this Pacquaio-Mayweather thing figured out, another tidbit alters my thinking a little. Mayweather fought Cotto last. COTTO. Yet, the PPV numbers came out and they were $94 million. Sure, in a moral war, Mayweather and Manny should get paid the same. It is just RIGHT. But GEEZ. Maybe Mayweather DOESN'T need Manny. Dude seems to be doing just fine by himself, even with prison terms interrupting things.
6) James Harden gets the 6th Man of the Year. Well deserved, and he is quickly becoming my favorite player in the Association. I hope he gets a ring to go with that trophy very soon. He is literally the WHOLE package on the court.
7) The Orioles hit 3 HR's to start a game this week. More evidence about the crazy changing in the guard that is going on in the American League East. Things are all Top Gun'd over there. Sure, the season is young, but everything is literally inverted from about 6-7 years ago. Red Sox last, and the Yankees were fourth before last night's games.
8) Check out this triple play by a SIX year old. Amazing stuff for a kid that age: http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2012/05/atlanta-6-year-old-turns-unassisted-triple-play/1#.T7HAIOi0xtk
9) I found it odd when the Artest suspension was lowered to six games, and then what happens? The NBA's worst nightmare in this situation. I am not saying that Artest had a game worthy of the Hall of Fame or anything, but he was a difference in that game (well, and also Steve Blake suddenly becoming Del Curry), and it is a shame the Nuggets had to modify their approach for an elbowing thug. It just isn't right.
10) Don't go to sleep on the Celtics. Sure, Allen is hurt, and Pierce shows flashes not as consistently as past years. But, they still have a solid pulse in the suddenly diminished East after Rose's injury. Nice to see Kevin Garnett show us what he used to be by scoring a hearty 28 points the other night. I would play by your side ANY day of the week, Kevin. You play bball likes Crowe does Gladiator.
11) I see we are keeping in the family. In case you were counting the days of Hoodie patrolling the sidelines, we find out this. The Pats have brought on his son. No word yet of his usual attire, but the bloodlines are in place for another generation.
12) He might fail. He might not be any good. He might follow in the long line of past superstars who have found it harder to have success on the sidelines. That being said, I think Patrick Ewing deserves a shot. Word is that he might be interested in the Bobcats coaching position. Well, it can't get any worse over there in Charlotte. Might as well give him a round on the hot seat. Just draft some size, and know that THEY will at least have the proper schooling.
13) In more news from our favorite Rant Team, Chad Ochocinco wrote an open letter to Roger Goodell supporting him in this whole concussion fiasco. Very genuine statement coming from someone who actually thinks we the masses take him seriously. Well, serious or not, and using the Chad Ochocinco flow chart predictor ( it actually exists), we can accurately hypothesize that Chad will do something really stupid within 2 months. I am sending Marcus Vick to his house at this very moment.
14) You know, Ronald Reagan broke some stereotypes of who you have to be historically to be the President of the United States. I am not saying he is interested, and I am not saying it has any chance of happening, but I had a random thought that IF there was another actor-President, that George Clooney would be your man.
15) I like when headlines are clever. I thought the Denver Post headline after Game 6 was kind of funny. Series "Ty'd."
16) Stephen Strasburg fanned 15 batters the other day. It is great to see this kid succeeding. I was concerned after his surgery whether he could come back with anything close to the same velocity. Well, he passed that test. Here are his stats this year, playing on a rejuvenated Nationals squad. http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/strasst01.shtml
17) This story is just a SHAME. I get so tired of reading that this stuff still happens. Racism and sexism just need to go away...forever. A team refused to play against a team with a female pitcher. THAT is teaching your kids right: http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/05/10/arizona-high-school-forfeits-game-to-avoid-playing-against-a-team-with-a-female-player/
18) Nice to see the Clippers advance against Griz. I was kind of pissed watching some of Game 6, when I noticed a couple times the Clippers got beat back while they were literally trotting down the court. This is playoff basketball. I know you all don't exactly have a winning tradition over there, but there is a reason why you let this series get to seven games. You HAVE to close someone out when you have a chance, and know this. This Larry O'Brien thing is NOT easy to win. Play like it. Talent alone ain't going to get you there.
18a) I am not rooting for either team, but think how much everyone will save on travel expenses if the Lakers and Clippers hook up in the conference finals. Luckily, we can be pretty damn sure that this will NOT happen.
19) I am not going to look it up, but it has been quiet on the Chris Andersen front since that odd headline was released the other day. Internet crimes, child investigation team, etc. Usually I am bitching about the media drowning us with same story info. In this case, I am curious. Come on, people.
20) Carroll Shelby died this week at 89 years old. I don't know much about your background, but I do remember my brother and I literally scouring the streets in the back of our parents' car for any Cobra Mustang. I also have a Jeep named Eleanor after the Shelby Mustang Nicolas Cage had trouble stealing in Gone in 60 Seconds. There IS a reason my Jeep is named after a Shelby Mustang, but it is not public material.
21) I was SO hoping that the Denver Post messed up in a headline, but in the end, it was my lack of hipness. After Game 6, it mentioned that Al Harrington had asked the DJ at Pepsi Center to play Notorious B.I.G.'s "Goin Back to Cali." I had NO idea that another song was made called that, and the ONLY Goin Back to Cali that is in my head is the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdizL4on-Rc
22) Odd professional lacrosse tidbit. The Denver Outlaws have the best record in the entire league since joining the league in 2006. With that acclaim, they have how many titles? Not a one.
23) I hear Fred Biletnikoff is bringing back the USFL. Please don't, Fred. I want to remember you as one of the greatest wide receivers to play the game, not for thinking that another football season outside of the NFL is going to catch any interest from us. Not going to work, bro.
24) NBA predictions. I think this might be a pretty boring second round for the NBA playoffs, setting up some UNBELIEVABLE conference finals.
SA vs. LA Clippers: A young talented team who is just learning how to play playoff basketball against a proven multiple championship team who is healthy and looking solid (well, it WAS just Utah, but still solid). San Antonio has too much. Spurs in 5.
OKC vs. Lakers: Pure talent coming into their own against the traditional gateway to being household names and getting glory. I think Kobe does his usual thing, but OKC has the size up front to counter, and I think Durant, Westbrook, and Harden are just too much. OKC in 6.
Miami vs. Indiana: Indiana already had a game they should have won in Game 1, and barring a long Bosh absence, the Big Three South take this one against a team that others should be VERY afraid of next year. Miami in 5.
Celtics vs. Philly. The last run of the Big Three North Version against a young, fearless squad in Philly. I think the youth wins Philly two games, but the last run continues for Boston, setting up an epic old regime vs. new regime matchup in the finals against the Heat. Celtics in 6.
25) In my ongoing chronicles of my absolute fear of bees and wasps, I came back from a walk at work to then walk to the other side of the building, across the parking lot, just because there was a mean looking wasp hovering by the back door. I will jump out of planes, climb mountains, repel, and want to run with the bulls, but I want NO part of a bee or wasp.
25a) Someone was washing our buildings today, hanging down from a line doing something I would never want to do. Not because of the danger or height. No. Because what if a bee came near me up there. I would freaking LOSE it.
26) NHL predictions: I suddenly like the Devils, only because they are rested, experienced, and Brodeur looks solid. The reason why this is the hardest championship to win is because having a tough series can hurt you more than any other sport. Give me the Devils in 7 games. The Caps beat up the Rangers pretty good in that long series. On the other side, the Kings are playing just plain stupid good. Give me the Kings in 6. Crazy that the Kings are making a run with limited superstars after their closest run up to this point is with some guy named Gretzky back in the day.
27) So, I am happy for the Vikings not having to move cities, but are they ALREADY lobbying for a Super Bowl bid? Easy, guys. Get the new stadium built, and get settled. Be happy you won your city back. THEN, go get a Super Bowl.
28) Alex Smith says that Randy Moss has showed no rust in workouts thus far. Thanks, Alex. We the masses really had no worry that Randy wouldn't be in shape. We are more concerned with what goes on between his ears. Hang on with comments until the first bout of friction arises. THEN, we will evaluate this situation accurately.
29) One of my colleagues who likes classic rock was listening to the Peter Gunn theme song the other day at work. He had it turned loud on his headphones, and I could BARELY hear the song. Before I figured out it was him, it was true that I asked my buddy Brian if he ALSO heard the Spyhunter theme music. I LOVED that game. Sure, there were a lot car games made, but that one was a classic. I also played Spy vs. Spy at the time. GREAT game. Basically, you were a spy, had gadgets, and just went through a big house or island and set traps for the other spy. Classic gadgets like shit pouring down from a bucket when they entered the room. Or Zork, a game that literally gave you a blank cursor to start the game. You would type something like "look to your right" and it would explain IN WORDS on what you were seeing. AWESOME for the creative mind. You literally fought dragons by typing in what move you wanted to do. These three games probably indicate why I am kind of scared of these crazy new high tech games.
30) Live update from one of my Rant Team members. Ron Artest has said something just now that is pretty much gold for him. When asked about how everyone is yelling at him during introductions, he says this. "How many people can say that everyone in an arena is yelling at THEM and THEM only?" Dude. I love you. Some people want people to cheer for them like Rocky or Gladiator. You just want people paying attention to you. Glad there are not a lot of others out there like you. If someone's goal was just to do dumb shit to get attention, we would have more problems in society than we already have.
31) I have a clogged drain. I bought Drano. On the back of the $8 bottle, it says to literally use the entire bottle for a drain. Do you all have a monopoly on the market or WHAT? The ENTIRE thing? Can't you freaking make a larger bottle or something? Geez.
32) Terrelle Pryor has reminded us that he sold the shit he got busted for...for his family. Sorry, Mr. Pryor. Doing bad shit for the right reasons does not get you my sympathy.
33) This is a great story about a wide receiver who is giving up his college scholarship for family. Glad to know there are some talented kids out there who are NOT in line with the Ron Artest career path. http://sports.yahoo.com/news/michigan-st-wr-arnett-gets-234721941--ncaaf.html
34) Those guys in that State Farm commercial who get attacked by a buffalo. Aren't they concerned about their car? I don't know about you, but there is NO WAY I am leaving a safari to get out of my beloved Eleanor.
35) They were saying that Mike Brown might be out if they lost to the Nuggets. He won, so it is now a non-story, but everyone just slow your roll. You have a mentally damaged center, an aging superstar, and are changing from the Triangle offense-a huge change. I am pretty sure Mike Brown was good to go either way.
35a) Hey, Magic. You were arguably the greatest point guard of all time. I DON'T need to hear you voice dumb shit about the Lakers every time it is a story (he started the whole Brown stuff). Go concentrate on the Dodgers, stop trying to be controversial like Barkley (he is one of a kind), and don't make me pull out that link of your legendary "talk show."
36) Derrick Rose had surgery this week on his ACL. Get well, bro. Come back better than ever, because basketball fans, Bulls fans or not, want to see you play like you played before...a lot.
37) I laughed about my maturity level the other night at my watering hole. Someone approached ME about playing a money Golden Tee game. I am retired from betting, used to hustle the game, the Nuggets game was about to start, and I like to consider myself more mature. But. I will say this. That is like Michael Redd going up to Michael Jordan at the court and suddenly deciding he wants a run at the title. Not going to happen. I am FDR on Golden Tee for a lot of reasons, but NO one is serving three terms again-that is for sure.
38) The #7 HS basketball recruit in the nation picked...UNLV. What, John Calipari? You don't send people out there to possibly illegally recruit him? Odd choice, and after their solid season last year, I wouldn't want any part of them next year.
39) The hits keep on coming. Fresh off the Petrino motorcycle affair, a couple Arkansas receivers and the tight end were busted for burglarizing a couple dorm rooms. Your OWN students' dorm rooms? Great. So, maybe you get to play next year. You still dissed your own student population. Not cool anyway you look at it.
40) Evidently, Josh Hamilton is still using his 4 HR game bat. Why is this a story? Wouldn't you? I can't EVER imagine a thought process that would go "should I use that other bat or the one that I hit 4 HR's with? These are tough questions."
41) Congrats to Don Nelson, who earned a degree 50 years after the fact. You are going to be in the books of NBA legend years from now, and nice to hear you went back and fulfilled promises by hitting college books one last time.
42) The grass is green, the sky is blue, and soccer riots happen a lot. http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2012/05/12/turkey-soccer-riots.html I can't WAIT to go to the World Cup in two years. Guess I better make sure I have life insurance by then also.
43) I cracked on you in past rants, MLB's Angels, so now I will laud you. The Red Sox are not exactly climbing out of THEIR hole, but you are. Creeping back to .500 I see. 14-18 at press time.
44) Fresh off his Dr. Phil appearance, Terrell Owens has said he is not broke, and that the NFL has not seen the last of him. Really, T.O.? So, let me get this straight. You admit to not paying money for your children on TV, and then you tell sports fans that you are not broke. Flow chart, please.
45) I NEVER saw this coming. Darius Heyward-Bey was drafted WAY too high. To WHO? The Raiders. Now, what happens? We see that he has totally taken up the history of the Raiders and done this: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/7917451/darrius-heyward-bey-oakland-raiders-charged-dui
46) Man City took the EPL championship in a crazy ending. Something about total goals and scoring a bunch near the end. First in like 40 years. No, I will not look this up. Anyway, crazy ending...yada yada yada...wins championship...yada yada yada...lobster.
47) Osi Umenyiora called out LeSean McCoy on Mother's Day. Classic. Keeping this feud going in style: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/post/osi-umenyiora-wishes-lesean-mccoy-a-happy-mothers-day/2012/05/14/gIQAjUcGPU_blog.html
48) The Seahawks are apparently in love with short Russell Wilson. Sure the guy has mad athletic skills, but there aren't too many Doug Flutie's running around, and my over under to how long it takes someone to convert him to a receiver or fullback is about 6 months.
49) Apparently, this is Coach K's last run around as the USA coach. Your point has already been made, you got back USA's pride, it will most likely be made again, and now it is time to exit stage left. This is a very smart man.
50) Go figure. MLB has fired the arbitrator who was involved in the overturning of the Ryan Braun suspension. Nothing to add to this. I don't think I need to.
51) Slippery slope. NBA flopping. David Stern needs to get a handle on this right NOW. It is getting a little out of control. Manu Ginobli will be the first Hall of Fame player who also might take out Denzel Washington in next year's Oscar race. There is no RIGHT way to do this. An after the fact suspension won't change the outcome of present games, and you also can't put too much on the refs' plate, so just do a one game suspension if camera obviously shows there was no contact. Al you can do.
52) Capitals head coach Dale Hunter is moving on to be with his family. Getting away from the obvious joke about how one of the greatest enforcers ever is leaving for a storybook ending, it is still nice to see that he had them back in the hunt playing hockey the RIGHT way. With defense.
53) That is it. As one shepherd said to the other, I am going to get the flock out of here. I will write again Thursday night. Peace, all.
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