Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
Let's turn and burn.
1) The NFL announced its Hall of Fame class this week. I concur with most of the selections, but a couple of them truly are questionable. Curtis Martin. Elected. I get it. I DO get it. He is the 4th leading rusher of all time. However, I don't think that cuts it and here is why. I would coin him as a very good (not great) running back who was able to stay relatively healthy for a long career. He was durable, and was in the top 5 or 10 backs in yardage each year. I admire that. But, I think to get in any Hall of Fame, you have to be GREAT. You have to distinguish yourself from your peers in obvious ways. Here are his notables. No championships, an offensive rookie of the year award, and ONE FREAKING rushing title. I think there is a huge difference between durability/ consistency and greatness. Just saying.
2) Bill Parcells not in? Are you KIDDING me? Do the voters have a huge bloody mary bar where they vote? Come on. He is the only coach to take FOUR different teams to the postseason. He literally resurrected three franchises who are still solid franchises-Pats, Jets, and Giants. He won two championships with less than HOF talent at the skill positions, was runner-up in a Super Bowl, and led the Cowboys twice to the postseason after they had some down years. If this doesn't pass the eye test, I sure as hell don't know what will.
3) Finally, a word about the receivers who didn't get in-Andre Reed, Tim Brown, and Cris Carter. I think they rank in order of getting screwed: Carter, Reed, and Brown. I get this, too. You could make the argument for any of them being in and make a great case. That being said, this is my theory on this. IF you allow one of them, you almost HAVE to allow ALL of them. Slippery slope. It sucks, but I feel that is why Cris is being left out. Come on, man.
4) I still want to see how it all pans out, but my early vote for NCAA bball Coach of the Year is Mike Brey. Easily. He loses his best players to graduation, and then loses his best remaining player this year. They are looking pretty good in the always solid Big East. They have NOBODY on that squad, and if I had seen the score without actually watching a little of the game over the weekend, I would have thought that Marquette-ND game was women's. SMOKED them.
5) Hey, Denver Comcast. Know your basketball, please. That little number by the teams' names isn't the absolute definition of a good game. How you showed like 5 games at once Saturday afternoon and did NOT have the Florida/ Vandy game on is beyond me. I guess it WAS televised, but it was on that ESPN 3 station that somehow I am not getting. One is quietly ranked 7th, and the other? Everyone and their mom is hoping they don't make the tourney. Think last year's Baylor team.
6) PGA. After Kyle Stanley's horrible 18th hole meltdown last week, a lot of experts were of the opinion that such an inexperienced, subpar golfer might never recover mentally. What does he do? He COMES BACK to win the Phoenix Open over the weekend, shooting a 65 in the final round. Good stuff, kid.
7) Game of the week that I am glad I have retired from sports betting. Miami goes INTO Cameron and takes Duke. I would have been concerned about covering the spread of course, but no WAY I saw that one coming. Once again, and I have said it before, if a team is athletic, and if they shoot relatively well, they have a chance to beat Duke this year. THAT will be in the heads of the Dukies come Wednesday when the greatest bball rivalry there is occurs.
8) I hear that Saturday Santonio Holmes told Mark Sanchez that he is ready for 2012-2013. Thanks, bro. Glad you are excited, and maybe just try texting that to your QB. We don't care. Let us soak in this last game before we talk about empty jets promises by coaches and players.
9) Best idea I heard all week. Roger Goodell is thinking about cancelling the Pro Bowl. Like the trainer said to Rocky in the fourth installment. "You know what you have to do. Now do it. Do it."
10) I know coaches are important, but you got to have the players too (unless you are Mike Brey). I am sitting here watching UCONN/ Louisville, and I just watched ten minutes of a sped up version of the Globetrotters vs. Washington Generals. Louisville is having sort of a party/ dunk practice/ lay up drill. I have NEVER seen UCONN get smoked like this since I have been alive. Actually, belay my last on the coach thing. Those boys had lost 4 straight BEFORE he left. Those kids are not playing too passionately. Are they dropping as low as possible to pull off the same thing as last year? I think not. Something's missing all right (Seinfeld).
11) The Bourne movie series is one of my favorites. He pulls off EVERYTHING in those movies, and they present it smartly for the viewing experience. If I was in Hollywood and had some free time and extra cash, I think that I would think about coming out with Jason Bourne: Drunk. Just have him doing all the same shit, but messing it all up because he is loopy. I don't know. I think it could work. If Snakes on a Plane got a sniff, then why couldn't this one go public?
12) In the Wisconsin/ Ohio State bball game this weekend, NO player from either team shot a free throw besides Jared Sullinger until 8 minutes left in the GAME. Aren't we missing an element in that game called "take it to the hole?" Side note. I like Ohio State as contenders. I really do. That being said, I am still bothered by Aaron Craft's lack of shooting touch from the field AND free throw line. He can guard anyone out there at his position, but that 66% free throw percentage from the guy who usually has the ball at the end of games will lose you a game or two at some point.
13) The Flyers had a great weekend. They got smoked by the Rangers on Sunday. Saturday, they were down 6-0 at HOME with 10 minutes left in the SECOND period. Wow. You and UCONN must have hung out recently.
14) Giants' (and UVA grad) Chris Canty predicts the score before the game, and the team's website had them listed as SB champs before the game. Not quite Joe Namath-like (we would have forgotten they did this if the Pats would have won), but it must be nice if you back up your words.
15) I need a flowchart on the fly. Does anyone else think this is weird? Aaron Rodgers wins the MVP. He happens to play offense by the way. Who wins "Offensive" Player of the Year? Drew Brees. Ummm. If you are saying that the best offensive player....ehhhh....nevermind. You know where I am going on this.
16) See? This MUST finally be the year the FSU football and its talent actually play to its level and reclaim glory. West Virginia obviously thinks so at least. They oddly pulled out of their Sept 8th game at FSU, giving no real reason why. I am curious to find out what your replacement team that week is, because to me that seems like a nice little game to add to you resume if you have any title aspirations of ANY kind.
17) RGIII went to bed at 10pm last night and woke up at 7am. During that time, he somehow rose in the NFL mock draft rankings. Confused.
18) My church is the coolest church ever. In an email talking about this past Sunday's topic, it had the Lombardi trophy at the top of it. The topic was commitment shift. The message frequently had a scripture, and then a quote from Vince Lombardi or John Wooden on the same monitor. They played Tom Petty's "Won't back down" to demonstrate how you have to be strong. To top everything, they invited everyone to come back at game time to WATCH the Super Bowl in the church on the big screens. Fancy stuff. OOHHH. And final thought. The back up pastor had to give the message. WHY? Because the main pastor was AT the Super Bowl.
19) The Kansas/ Missouri game was pretty decent and exciting. My quick thoughts. I am not a big complainer about officiating, but that 11-0 run to end the game was aided by SEVERAL bad calls. You teach kids how to take a charge, they do it EXACTLY right, and then get the call against them. Missouri was also aided by KU's superstars doing a lot of dumb things down the stretch. Robinson and Taylor, I am talking to you. Odd. I am still NOT a believer in Missouri. As I write this, they are getting ALL that they can handle by a subpar Oklahoma team (great coach in Lon Kruger, but not top tier talent these days (THANKS, Kelvin Sampson)).
20) I am quite sure it is not about my age/ maturity, but rather Hollywood's ineptness. I am pretty sure I have not seen a scary movie since The Shining.
21) Hurry. Give me another flow chart. I am confused again. Contador was officially stripped of his 2010 Tour de France title. I CAN'T keep track of this shit. I don't remember who got second. Your win was already in my subconscious useless sports knowledge area of the brain. You skinny cyclists who unbelievably were all hopped up on drugs are totally jacking up my almanac memory.
22) I hear Seattle is already trying to lure back a basketball team. Geez. You couldn't hold on to the last one, and the paint is not even dry (I know. That cliche doesn't totally make sense, as it was the team that left and there really wasn't any paint involved. You get my drift. My point was they very RECENTLY lost the team). ANYWAY. Take it easy out there in rain land. Just CHILL for a couple more years.
23) Kobe is officially 5th on the all time scoring list. He just caught his best friend Shaquille O'Neal. He has 3k to catch MJ. I think he catches Wilt and MJ, but I don't see him making any kind of run at Karl Malone or Kareem. His title of most hated successful athlete is pretty safe though. In the words of Hard to Kill, you can "take THAT to the bank."
24) UK's Anthony Davis has ALREADY caught O'Neal's record for most blocks by a freshman. Sick. He still has a lot of games left. For the record, if he was ranked in the TEAM rankings in Division I, he, himself, would be ranked 39th. Crazy.
25) The Phoenix Suns have very nicely said that if Steve Nash requests a trade, that they would grant it. Not to make a word pun, but if they do this, I think they should package "Grant" Hill (it doesn't take much to make me chuckle) with him. Can't be two nicer, classier guys who don't have a championship.
26) Random thought as I watch the Texas/ Texas A&M game. My dad and Bob Knight look REALLY similar.
27) Article that wasn't as flashy as its headline. Brian Cashman's wife has filed for divorce after this recent extortion thing by that chick. It sounded exciting when I opened the article, but then I found out this. Brian and his wife have been living separately for the last year. Lame.
28) How long has Kevin Faulk been playing for the Patriots? Seriously. That guy just FEELS like he has been around FOREVER. I say bring in Case Keenum as a backup next year and call it a day.
29) Lindsey Vonn just won her 50th World Cup event. It makes it even better since she is an American skier, but she is totally making the rest of the world her bia...well, you know where I am going on this.
30) Stop reading. Open separate browser (I am lazy about pasting links-it messes up my font, I can't fix it, and I am usually too winded at the end of this long-ass stream of consciousness). Go to Youtube site. Type in the search "Cody Paul." I caught wind of this in my latest ESPN magazine (which I had to BUY at the airport, ESPN. I signed up. SEND ME THE FREAKING MAGAZINE NOW). Nine million views CAN'T be wrong. Think white Reggie Bush video in Pop Warner.
31) If you like Family Guy at ALL. If you like Star Wars above average. Then. You are truly wronging yourself by not seeing the Family Guy Star Wars spoofs. Freaking hilarious.
32) My thoughts go out to Amare Stoudemire's family. He had to leave the team today because of the death of his brother.
33) Tom Coughlin has announced he is coming back for the 2012 season. You may start your countdown timer. We are officially now 1 year, and 8 months from talking about how Tom Coughlin might be fired.
34) The grass is green, the sky is blue, and we are WAY overdue for a special team member headline. Not quite the exciting headline I was hoping for (no strip clubs, DUI's, etc.), but one of my special team members made news this week. Terrell Owens has joined the Indoor Football League. I am not saying that I know all about sports, but if I haven't heard of the league, and was unsure if "league" was capitalized or not, it is probably not an optimum career move in sports. Sorry, I neglected to look up how good the "Allen Wranglers" were in the league. Good luck, dude. Since I have Family Guy Star Wars on in the background, I will just say "may the force be with you" and "this is not the league you were looking for."
35) So. Sidney Crosby is back at practice, but is no closer to coming back. I didn't open the article, and maybe his health IS the same, but if he is back at practice in ANY capacity, AND at the facility, I would say that he is closer...even if its just geographically.
36) I wanted to be a Navy Seal way back when. This new movie coming out, Act of Valor. They say it actually has Seals in it. I think that is as accurate as saying a movie is "based on a true story." I find it hard to believe that present Seals who are saving the world have the time to have a large part in a movie. Sure, they might have some tidbits, but I am pretty sure it is actors in the main part of it. That was a joke on Hollywood by the way. Seals are awesome, and no bad words will ever come out of this mouth about them.
37) Hilarious. When they go to torture Hans Solo/ Peter in Family Guy Star Wars Part II, they play Paula Cole "Where have all the cowboys gone..." Classic. That happened right after Luke/Chris is working out in the swamp to Rocky music, complaining that the Dark Side must have better gyms.
38) Fly on the Wall take. I hear the Steelers might hire Todd Haley as their new offensive coordinator. Boy, would I love to hear the first few conversations with him and Mike Tomlin.
Mike: I know you have an outgoing, abrasive personality.
Todd: I do, but I have a lot to offer
Mike: Just so we are clear. You are an assistant, I am more of a badass than you, and if there is a problem, I will throw you out the window right now. Are we clear?
Todd: Crystal.
Mike: Crystal, what?
Todd: Crystal, sir.
39) Wisconsin's Jordan Taylor went 159 minutes without a turnover. Sick. Right after that was announced in the Ohio State game, he committed two fouls and had two turnovers in like 4 minutes. Kiss of death.
40) In that commercial where Dr. Dre throws that cool colorful thing into that person's head, I am surprised the background music sounds nothing like Dr. Dre. Throws me off.
41) What might have been. Every halftime at bball games when Jay Williams does analysis, I think what an incredible baller he would have been in the NBA. Shame it had to end. He is a Dukie, and I still even like him. What he did on the court his couple years at Duke was absolutely phenomenal.
42) Wayne Rooney and Man U end up taking Chelsea to a draw. There. I had a soccer take that was not World Cup related. Check.
43) Stat that kind of blew me away. Thad Matta (I was already surprised to hear that this weekend's win was his FIRST one at Madison) is 194-5 at Ohio State when leading after 5 minutes in any amount. That is crazy. In the volatile world that is the end of college bball games, that tells me he is a great coach, and keeps his players very level headed at the finish line. Now, Thad, you just need a title, aye? You finally got one of your big guys to come back for a second year. Do it up.
44) Dwight Howard is apparently "zeroing in on the New Jersey Nets." If you think the number of stories surrounding this topic will decrease, you are evidently drinking right now. This will be hyped as much as Favre's switch of teams the first time...ok..maybe not THAT much. Anyway, the fun thing about him going to the Nets is this. That is the ONLY team on his list of "choices" that will have no bearing on the power of NBA teams. They will be too far out of the mix by then. In the media's defense as far as coverage, he goes to any of the other teams? It could TOTALLY change EVERYTHING.
45) Never saw it coming. Of ALL the teams the upstart UNLV team would lose to (by the way, this "upstart" team's players were recruited by previously mentioned Lon Kruger-dude can just rebuild, can't he?), I never thought it would be Wyoming. Once again, glad I am retired from the betting business.
46) Evan Turner's weakness has been his shooting. Maybe he should just pretend he is throwing an alley oop each time. If you didn't see it, he MADE in the basket an alley oop attempt from outside the 3 point line the other night. Looked suspiciously like his normal shot.
47) OK, people. The next 20 or so takes are all Super Bowl related. I won't break down every play, but here are some random thoughts from my couch during the game.
48) Are you kidding me? ONE day before the Super Bowl? I don't care how much of a genius you are Hoodie (and maybe you lost because of this. Karma is a bitch, man), I can't BELIEVE you cut TiQuan Underwood a day before the game so you could pick up another defensive player on the roster. Just weird, man. TiQuan, that just sucks, bro. VERY impressed that on Twitter you totally took the high road. Very impressed.
49) Have I EVER mentioned how much I hate Cris Collingsworth announcing games? I have? Damn. Just wanted to remind you I suppose. The only time I actually listened to him and had respect was Mario Manningham's spectacular catch in the 4th quarter. I guess since he was a pretty good receiver, I could listen to him on that.
50) America the Beautiful. I know that dude country singer's voices are a little harder to hear the quality in them in some songs, and maybe America the Beautiful isn't exactly a country dude singer's dream song to show off his skills, but that chick made him look like no one during that tune.
51) Hey, it's Kelly Clarkson doing the Star Spangled Banner! Hey, Christina, Kelly didn't forget any words AND she didn't have any Carl Lewis moments (Google that shit if you have never heard that classic). Success.
52) The Hoodie defers the ball. Sign of genius AND stupidity at the same time. They scored at the end of the first half and then scored after halftime, so I suppose it WAS a success, but you still lost. You might be pretty smart, but I am not exactly making Mike Singletary comparisons with Jerod Mayo yet.
53) Sure. There are times I miss betting. Like when I heard that some idiot won a ridicurus (there is your 2nd Seinfeld reference) bet where he called the Giants' safety as the first score. Dude bet 1k on it. Crazy shit. When they got the safety, evidently their rines were crossed (that episode was just on-sorry).
54) First half. WOW. Eli looks sharp. First QB in SB history to start off 9-9.
55) 12 men on the field, Pats? Not very Patriot way if you ask me. Of course, neither is NOT winning a championship since you got busted for taping practices either.
56) Madonna. I missed M.I.A giving us the finger, as I was too busy figuring out the parts she was lip-syncing. Am I a Madonna fan? Negative. Not at all. But. Taking in account the fact she is 53, and taking in account that her new song isn't bad (for a Madonna song), I was mildly impressed. If I had to rank listening Cris Collingsworth announcing a game against watching Madonna do a halftime show, I might go Madonna. Really.
57) You might want to crack on Liam Neeson as an actor. You might crack on his fake western accent in cowboy movies. But, we can at least say he works really hard. Dude has ANOTHER movie coming out (Battleship) with The Grey at the top of the world? Wow.
58) Did ANYONE else laugh out loud when they were talking about the Giants' Jason Pierre-Paul, and they had O.P.P. in the background being parodied as J.P.P? Classic.
59) I thought Nixon's 18 yard catch was a huge Cousin Mo reversal.
60) I am not saying David Beckham is not a good looking guy. At all. Just saying that his underwear commercial...was very disturbing.
61) Wes Welker, get rid of that mustache. Maybe it is cool to roll around like that at Texas Tech, but you literally look 50 years old, and just retired from the porn industry.
62) That 96 yard drive by Tom Brady before halftime was pretty impressive. Like Brady or not, he caught the linebacker peaking into the backfield, and totally hit Danny Woodhead in stride. Good stuff.
63) Nice when you see a commercial that you don't think is too long (I think about the MJ ones on the playground in the early 2000's). I felt like running into a wall after watching that Clint Eastwood commercial. Wow. They picked the perfect guy, the perfect icon, the perfect subject, and I suddenly wanted to rent Gran Torino and all of the Dirty Harry movies right after...oh, and buy a new car. Sorry, Clint...almost forgot it was a commercial for something.
64) As a Seinfeld addict, I thought the commercial with him in it was ok. Not great, not bad...just ok. I know you are getting older, Jerry, and I know it is not as important to you these days, but do you need money for a gym membership? Cash more of those Nana checks and go get one. You are looking OLD, bro.
65) Did you see the 1st Bank commercial where nothing happens? It was eerie, but not in the way of Blake Griffin Kia commercials weird. It was eerie bad. It was also as creative as writing a book where the character wakes up to an alarm clock and the whole thing was a dream. Come on.
66) I HATE the phrase "unanswered points." There HAS to be a minimum number of points where points are unanswered. 10? 10 unanswered Patriots points? I think 17 points should be the minimum. Stop it.
67) The winner in my book for commercials was this one. Not judging the quality of the commercial, but simply judging it by this. a) if it is serious, I find myself mad that it ended b) if it is funny, I laugh aloud. Well, Bud Light was weak early, but that damn one with the dog "Wego" was freaking hilarious.
68) Photo/ video opp of the game. Catching Ballard trying to cut with his bad wheel on the sidelines by the tunnel was both funny and sad. Yes, it is possible to do both.
69) Commercial guy sighting. That Asian guy from the Southwest bags fly for free commercial and a multitude of others was briefly in the Samsung phone commercial. He is EVERYWHERE. I am not a tech/ gadget guy, but I hear this new Samsung phone is the bomb. So excited for one of my friends to get it so I can play with it.
70) Brady and the Hoodie were legends in the making going into this game. Then we forget that each of the Pats 3 victories were ALL close...3 pts or less. Then they get velcro'd. Then, Eli gets them again. They are not done, sure, but in my mind, this TOTALLY changes their legacy. 3-2 is MUCH different than 4-1.
71) People are telling Brady's wife to shut up. I agree. Don't start throwing around blame. That being said, Wes Welker's drop in the fourth was BRUTAL, AND a game changer.
72) Safe House. Denzel got his first acting Oscar playing his FIRST bad guy in Training Day (AWESOME flick). Now, we get Safe House. He looks in the previews like he embraced the role. Can't wait to see it.
73) Hmmm, Hoodie. We get WHY you threw the challenge flag on the Giants' final drive, but that lost timeout became PRETTY important, didn't it? Wouldn't have had to let them score. Do you NOT have people upstairs talking to you?
74) Tom Brady is OFFICIALLY off my man crush list. You might crack on some team members such as Allen Iverson, but I will say this. I just CAN'T have anyone on my list who is someone else's bitch. And Tom? You are Eli's bitch.
75) Toomer brought the asterisk take. Love it. My boss at work once to make t-shirts. He has a point. Since the Hoodie got busted for video gate, he has no rings. Just saying.
76) Who doesn't like a rematch? SB broke U.S. viewership record. I don't care about the record. When did we stop saying "ratings," and start saying "viewership?" I feel like the moment when I found out college football was called the FBS or when I found out that Invesco Field changed to Sports Authority Field. Confused.
77) That's it, people. Family Guy just had Luke say "Let's take out the power station," and it went full on into the Power Station song, "Some like it hot." Awesome. 'Til Thursday. Thanks for reading. Tell your friends. Peace.
78a) and yes, I am not the only person to sneak in Back to the Future references. Family Guy Star Wars does it at least 2-3 times. Nice.
79a) By the way, when you watch the Family Guy thing, feel free to laugh out loud when the opening creds mention the movie Gia.
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Agreed X 80. Plus, no tennis?
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