Amazingly, the background image has nothing to do with Rocky...

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just needed to get some things off my chest.


In no particular order of chronology or importance...


1)  Greetings and salutations.  Nostradamus take:  I get that people have fantastic personalities.  I have met them.  I am in on this concept.  Sometimes, those fantastic people also have great backing, status, and facilities to boot.  When this perfect storm comes along, I also understand good things come will come to these people frequently.  But.  There HAS to be a limit.  There HAS to be something shady going on with both Urban Meyer and John Calipari. HAS to.  Five years from now, both UK basketball and OSU football will be on probation.  I am calling it.  Calipari loses four players each year to the pro's after one year, then raids the rivals.com top 15 list and replaces them.  There is NO way he is that great of guy or that smart of coach. Dude doesn't even have a championship yet.  What kind of water are those kids drinking.  Meyer?  He gets an ultra late start on recruiting, loses players when there is a switching of coaches, and STILL pulls in the #4 class this year after signing day.  BS.  Sure, some just go to those places for the legacy of greatness, but come on.  Confused.


2)  I keep switching on my Super Bowl pick every couple hours.  I have decided the Pats are TOO loose, and the Giants front four and lack of needed blitzes because of it will prevail.  Giants.  27-21.


3)  Systems work in sports.  Joe Montana and the West Coast.  Phil Jackson and the Triangle.  Sure, they both had superstars to guide them, but they worked.  Sometimes, systems are JUST good enough to land you jobs, but not good enough to win it all when you don't have the right players.  Think Mike D'Antoni misses Steve Nash?  A little?    Funny how without an All-Pro point guard but with two previous All-Stars, they aren't doing shit.  And if you think that Baron Davis is going to solve this problem, you are drinking heavily already on this Friday night.  Good for you.  How is that #14 ranked scoring offense doing, Mike?  Isn't that supposed to be your forte?


4)  Saddest story for me for the week.  Josh Hamilton had a relapse.  He says it was 3-4 beers and a "weak moment."  Doesn't matter, bro.  I am glad you didn't get busted for anything, but you were still in PUBLIC.  Not that it makes it any better, but couldn't you have your weak moment at home or somewhere where people weren't stopping by to get photos with you?  I am ROOTING for you.  I always HAVE been.  Lock and load, bro.


5)  I am just hip enough to today's music to know who people are, know a few songs by them, and know whether I like or hate them.  All I know is this.  I just watched another trailer for Safe House on TV while I am writing this, and there was some SICK Jay Z hook in the background before the preview ended.  Can't wait to get a hold of that one.


6)  Stop reading this and just Google "Detroit's Doug Anderson dunk."  If you want to get the search hits more quickly, insert the word "insane" or "massive" before the word "dunk."  Holy smokes.


7)  Word is on the wire that Lance Armstrong FINALLY is clear of any cheating charges.  After years of examining samples A,B, and C, interviewing shady employees, and spending endless resources to find the truth, Lance won.  Personally, although I think he probably did cheat.  7 in a row is a lot.  When UCLA and the Celtics won all of their championships in a row, it was a team effort, with different players each year.  This is one guy OWNING one of the hardest sports for 7 straight years.  That being said, I am not totally convinced because of this.  Not only did Lance have people investigating it, but he had the government that MOST WANTED to bust him doing it...and they STILL failed.  Maybe he was legit.  I say no, but alright.  It is only cheating if you get caught, or however that saying goes.  Google Jim Rome.


8)  CNNSI had an article on the main page about how Robert Griffin III might go #1 in the NFL draft.  What?  Sure, RGIII is a great athletic QB and a class act, but how is he moving up in the draft when they aren't doing anything right now?  How is Andrew Luck moving down when all he is doing is hanging out in Indianapolis this week to REALLY jack up the media onslaught of Peyton Manning?


9)  The sky is blue, the grass is green, and it has just been announced that Greg Oden is going to undergo a knee procedure.  Maybe the groundhog got confused this year and was predicting Oden's knee status instead of the weather.  Or.  Perhaps he was a multi-tasking groundhog, as Denver is presently under blizzard conditions.  Are they connected?  I don't know.  Someone grab a pen and paper and...let's make a flowchart!  Side note.  That NY groundhog Phil DID see his shadow.


10)  Sometimes trivia questions have answers of people who you have no idea who they are and they just had one good day, and sometimes it is just...expected.  Here is one that is expected.  Simon Gagne had 4 goals and 4 assists...IN...ONE...GAME.  Last one to do it, and I know we are not exactly splitting the atom on this one, was Mario Lemieux. 


11)  I saw the repeat episode of Chappelle where he examines whether white people can dance and then determines that it is certain musical instruments that invigorate certain races of people.  I will not get too much into this, but it is hilarious, you should see it, and let me tease you with the fact that in the skit, he sneaks around town with...Jon Mayer.


12)  The NFL is expanding games on Thursday night.  Please don't do this.  It is a school night, it teases us perfectly, it keeps Sunday as the overload day of "FOOTBALL," and you will jack up fantasy football leagues all over the country where guys don't really think about football until the weekend.  Or for people like me, who pick a team and then forget to set my lineups.


13)  HUGE news.  The Clippers have signed Kenyon Martin, AND he can play sooner rather than later and escape his present Chinese contract.  That is great and all, and I am their newest closet fan of the Clippers so I should be happy, but I am sort of confused by what role he is coming to.  This would be like bringing Prince Fielder to the Phillies.  Uhhh. Ryan Howard is already there at first base.  Well, in this case, at the four, they have this guy named Blake Griffin.  Is Kenyon just admitting he is a backup on a possible contending team (if so, YOU should have been so smart Iverson a LOT earlier)?  Are they playing an offense with 2 four's?  Did either Blake Griffin or Kenyon Martin suddenly learn to play the three and I missed it?  Great pickup, but I assume he is coming in as a backup, which as we saw against the Nuggets, their backups just STINK.


14)  While Amare Stoudemire was having his 34 point game in a LOSS, at HOME, against a team without their starting two AND three positions, he DID have a cool little between the legs move at the foul line on a drive.  Fun to watch a big guy do that.  Fun to listen to a guy also who misses a three pointer the other day from the top of the key, says he is usually gravy from that spot, and then losers like me go read his stats and read he is a 25.9% 3 pt shooter this year.  Lol.


15)  74 people die in a soccer stampede after the home team loses.  That is sad.  Truly.  But I was more intrigued by the follow up problem.  Makes sense that the government stop remaining soccer games in that country for the remainder of the day until they figure out if it was the game or politics that caused the riot.  After they do cancel games, at a stadium far far away in Egypt, ANOTHER riot resulting in fires happens at the stadium...because THEY CANCELLED THE GAME.  Wow.  I can't WAIT to attend the 2014 World Cup.


16)  Another sky is blue, grass is green take!  Even though she might not be technically qualified, Danica Patrick is ALLOWED to run in the Daytona 500.  I personally NEVER saw that happening.


17)  Everyone is talking about how much we are discussing Gronkowski's ankle.  You know what?  I am not even CLOSE to being bothered by it yet.  He is a distant SECOND to Dwight Freeney's ankle a couple years ago.  DISTANT.  Back then, it was BRUTAL.


18)  The Detroit Pistons don't have much to be happy about these days.  ESPN was brilliant in helping them out.  They took Melo's return from injury, against the Pistons, and mentioned it at the top of the wire the other day.  I think the contract these days with the Pistons is once every 7 months, so I think that clears us from hearing about them at the top spot for the season.  See ya later, guys.


19)  I have the "article I didn't need to open" take here and there.  Well, here it is again, but with sort of a sickening feeling at the same time of my jovial intentions.  Here it is.  I couldn't believe this when I read it, and truly haven't opened it yet.  " "Fine's wife slept with players."  WTF was going on in THAT marriage. Molestation?  Sleeping with players?  Serenity now!


20)  Older brother taking a little from little brother's famous couple weeks.  I am really glad the doctors have cleared you, Peyton, but did you really HAVE to announce it the Thursday before the Super Bowl?  Really?  Let your bro have a little to himself, bro.


21)  I am sitting here watching Colbert.  I have watched the show for years.  Love the guy to death, but one call he DID have wrong.  YEARS ago, he had this guy on talking about this new social media concept.  He makes fun of lots of people, but he was TRULY making fun of this guy.  The guy he had on had some new thing he was trying to publicize.  It only allowed 140 characters.  The guy was hoping it would be the "new thing."  Colbert decimated him.  Yup.


22)efphfpisjndfv[A}DPfogaepajrw [wa....sorry.  SORRY.  I just fell off the couch.  While writing that Colbert take, WATCHING Colbert, Stephen pulled an amazing feat.  He was making fun of Newt Gingrich (not hard to do these days-open marriages?  1st day in office?  end of my 2ND term, I will have a voting STATE on the MOON?  Yup.)  and was talking about him getting the eye of the tiger.  So.  Stephen has the actual ex-singer of Survivor come out and do a hilarious parody of the song.  He cuts him off and asks how long the song is.  Survivor guy says it was 28 hours in rehearsal.  They go to commercial with Survivor guy still talking about the Constitution (I am assuming that does indeed indicate it was a very long parody).  CLASSIC.


23)  Article I didn't open #2.  I was too sad.  The name of it was "The Fall of Allen Iverson."  Damn, media.  Be nice to my boy.


24)  Another week goes by, and we have another week with Sidney Crosby being out and having neurological problems.  We hockey fans are the losers in this one, people.


25)  A new twist to hockey penalty shots (it is always the kids with the creativity).  Some youngster scored on one this week by CARRYING the puck on his stick while he skated in.  I don't know if that is against the rules in professional hockey (has to be), but it was cool, and the kid scored because the poor kid in goal was sort of in shock.


26)  I think the Pats are going to win the Super Bowl 21-17.  Final thought on this.


27)  Great.  So I am on an airplane and proclaim Mich State basketball and the 76ers will be going opposite directions for the remainder of the year.  I get OFF the plane and see that Mich State just got smoked at home against Illinois, and that the 76ers blitzed the Bulls by 16.  Sweet.


28)  Thoughts, prayers, and respect for Angelo Dundee, who we lost this week.  No, he wasn't in any Crocodile movies.  He was the classy trainer for the GOAT.  Rest in peace, Angelo.  You have the honor of saying you trained the baddest man to walk this planet.


29)  After all my years, I still haven't figured out how many of these type of people are out there.  But I am definitely one of them.  White noise sleepers.  I stayed in my Virginia hotel for a work trip this week, and I happened to press start on "fan only" in my room right before bed and nothing happened.  I was tired, did not want to wait for it to be fixed, and fell asleep to absolute silence.  From what I hear from most people, this is a good thing.  Not for me.  I even had a noise machine in the Navy.  It took me three trips home to see my parents way back when for my mom to understand this and give me a fan...in the middle of winter.  I sleep like shit when I don't have a fan.  I don't have a fancy apartment or anything, but my bedroom is a freaking wind tunnel.  Ceiling fan.  Floor fan.  The works.


30)  I won't bore you with a whole college football signing day breakdown, but I WILL comment on the surprise thing the #1 recruit did.  This guy is a loyal hometown guy, who evidently didn't pay attention to any of the super conference stuff (good for him).  Doriel Green-Beckham.  Surprise #1:  he signed with Missouri, after being courted by pretty much EVERYONE.  Surprise #2:  he signed with Missouri, which is a sub-par team entering the SEC.  Dude is CON-FI-DENT.  You might get laid out...regularly.


31)  Scary that $10 million salaries don't make the main part of the wire these days.  SCARY.  I predicted that the Nationals were a team I would go to Vegas and throw $10 on them to win it all next year (haven't done it yet).  Odds are probably pretty damn good as far as payoff.  Anyway, they so QUIETLY signed pitcher Edwin Jackson to a one year deal this week.  I had to read the fine print to see it.  Shhhhh...


32)  Floyd Mayweather gets a fight before he gets locked up.  It is not Manny, but I have to tell you, it is not a crap fight either.  Pretty impressed actually, and I might check it out if I have absolutely NOTHING going on that night.  He pulled Cotto.  Seriously though.  That will actually be a good fight.  So.  Manny.  You win.  Floyd.  You win and serve your time (chuckling).  THEN we will have the super fight we all want.  Floyd, Manny said he might be able to squeeze you in before you do something else stupid and have to get locked up again.


33)  I guess the only thing that cheers up UCONN bball fans these days is that at least they won the championship last year and that their pro football team is in the Super Bowl.  Because four straight losses doesn't happen to often in Storrs (for men OR women), and it sucks your coach goes on medical leave.  Get well, Jim.  Andre Drummond needs you.


34)  Umenyiora gets fined 20k for snubbing the media this week.  I am not going to rank surprises or anything.  Just saying he is not in my top 100 people that I would have thought would have skipped that.


35)  St. Louis.  You have to keep your Rams.  20 years from now, I will bitch about you making trivia questions at bars confusing.  Stop moving.  Stay put.


36)  US Soccer.  We have a solution for you.  Did you all SEE that great kick of the basketball by Dallas coach Rick Carlisle the other night?  Sign that dude up.  Instead of him being a striker, he can be called "Maverick."


37)  Happy Anniversary, Houston Rockets!  I remembered.  This is the 16th straight year you have been one good player from being a contender, and the 8th straight year as a "sleeper" team.  Congrats.  I hear you are trying to get Chris Kaman.  You are like a drunk guy at last call.  Your expectations are getting lower, your vision is getting cloudy, and your window of time is decreasing quickly.  No offense, Chris.


38)  I think Prince was a genius.  Not for all of his true genius stuff, but because he had a retirement plan.  Purple Rain.  He was top of the world.  To cover his ass, he wrote a song called 1999 too.  Why not?  If things bottomed out, he would have a quick comeback in that year.  Kind of like I plan on renting out a music studio room at some point, and recording a song called 2024...except that I wasn't ever top of the world...but the concept is still there.  ANYWAY, do you think that Van Halen wrote the random song "Jump," knowing it would be played at every basketball arena for the rest of our lives whenever there was a tie up?  In any event...FOUR MORE DAYS until the new CD.  Excited.


39)  What an odd stat.  The Miami Heat lose to the sub par Bucks.  They then win 5 straight.  Then they lose again...to the Bucks.  What gives?  Hell, the Bucks don't even have Bogut right now (hmmmm....that could be saying something).  Confused.  Lose another one, and Kid n Play will call you his bitch.  I am not explaining that joke.  That joke is funnier not explained, and non-basketball fans will actually have to research it if they care, and it might actually be a testy Google search.  Yay.


40)  In the words of Hard to Kill..."and you can take THAT to the bank."  Pats 31-21.


41)  Have you seen the recent Blake Griffin commercials?  They are obtuse.  They are almost creepy.  But.  They work, and he is good for those concepts.  Here is my term for them.  "Perfectly weird."


42)  We had kind of a blizzard today, but I DID invent a new term at work.  "Polite Snow."  This happens when snow comes down hard enough to delay or cancel your work, then tapers off during the day but keeps it warm enough to not stick to you car and make you brush it off, and then dumps on you in late afternoon when most people have already been let go but to make it fun for people who like blizzards, like me (all or nothing for me.  I either want NO snow, or 3 feet.  I have a Jeep).  Sorry about the run on sentence, and I did say that term at work today.


43)  Jalen Rose got busted for a DUI, we forgave him, and he is back on ESPN.  That being said, he had some guest in house the other day.  One of them was Adam Viniateri.  Teddy Bruschi was sitting next to him.  Let's just say this.  I think he got confused.  The comment was short, I won't crack on him possibly being drunk on set, but I think that Jalen still thinks that Adam still plays for the Pats.


44)  Stereotypes.  Let me guess.  Denver is ALL over the news for having a blizzard.  True, I think it has been snowing at the EXACT same volume for 24 hours straight.  I don't know what the future weather is since ESPN doesn't have world news or the Denver weather on it nightly (my dream), but they WON'T mention it was 60 degrees Wednesday or how this shit will melt in two days.  I LOVE our weather.


45)  Tony Dorsett has joined the concussion lawsuit.  Shit, if I was a bored ex-football player from ANY year, I would join in on this.  Why not?


46)  Fab Melo is returning for Syracuse...aka the Tyson Chandler of college (kind of ironic since Tyson didn't go to college).  Still bothered by their lack of a go-to guy, but that team is TOUGH with that guy in the middle of that patented 2-3 zone.


47)  Article I didn't need to open #3:  UGA inks 5 star recruit after family holdup."  What?  Did he sign RIGHT after they were mugged. I don't have that kind of time to open that up.  No kids, no dogs, not even a plant, but I still feel pretty busy.


48)  Like riding a bike.  I played my second week of piano at my church.  The first week was pretty ugly to my ears, although people around said it sounded good.  Not.  ANYWAY, the second time, started to get some of my old chops back.  I am like Greg Oden without knee surgery.  I look younger though.


49)  Hoodie alert.  He IS a genius in his sport.  But the fact that everyone touted him a genius after THIS was odd to me.  Check this out.  The Hoodie had his team take a 31 minute break from practice and then come out and continue practicing.  He was simulating halftime of the Super Bowl.  THAT was genius?  Maybe smart, but let's not get carried away.  Giants will win.  17-14.


50)  Gunner Kiel, top QB recruit, disses LSU and goes to Notre Dame.  Les Miles rips him.  Why, Les?  If anyone has a 1985 DeLorean in his shed, it is you, bro.  You are the mad scientist.  Bet you would have won that game with a flux capacitor though.  Actually, you would have thumbed the dial and ended up back in Bear Bryant times.  


51)  Staying on QB's, FSU struck again.  Top 2012 recruit Winston signs with FSU.  So.  THIS must be the year that FSU makes their return to glory.  You and the Rockets crack me up.  Happy 11th anniversary of your "return to glory."


52)  BLAKE GRIFFIN!  No dunk contest?????? Come on, dude.  Just say you are in, text LeBron, and call it a day.


53)  Four players from the NBA's Western Conference are starters.  Well, two things.  One, I think it sucks.  Bynum?  Talk about "necessary evils/ lack of other options?"  Shit.  I am surprised Yao Ming didn't get the starting center nod even though he is in politics.  No centers in the west evidently.  Two.  We call LA fans laid back and not passionate.  Well, they evidently take the time to cast votes, aye?  Let me back up that statement by taking something from my media hero, Bill Simmons.  Sure, you go to a Lakers regular season game and it is low key.  However, with the legacy the Lakers have, you go into a playoff game there, and it is ON.


54)  What a week!  The Nuggets are on national TV again!  AND.  Bigger bonus tonight.  National TV, no Scott Hastings, blizzard outside, and Hubie Brown announcing.  I don't care about beating dead horses.  Hubie Brown is the SHIT.  When I am on my deathbed, I want Hubie Brown announcing a game.  Shit.  That won't work...I hope.  If I hopefully live an above average length life, I guess I will have to record him announcing games and then replay them on my deathbed.  Side note.  Hey, JR Smith, I don't think the Nuggets are exactly saving a spot for your headcase on the bench these days.  Dudes are balling.


55)  Damn.  Almost done and no Seinfeld reference (I added the Serenity Now one on my re-read).  So.  I will tell you a weird talent I have.  I can nail a Seinfeld episode's year every time.  You know how I do it?  Two things.  First one is normal.  Second one is odd.  First one is dialogue.  After hundreds of viewings of every episode, I can tell by the dialogue what year it is in about 15 seconds.  My second secret is...Elaine's hairdo.  I am money on that.  I received the Seinfeld trivia game as a present one year.  I have only played 2 people at it.  The smart people won't play me, and the ones who think they can take me usually end up frustrated and leave the premises within about 20 minutes of the pain.  Kind of like my family trying to have game night with me in Monopoly when I was a kid.  I always wanted to play, but was very irritating.  Actually, it is totally different.  I am irritating in both, but only one of those did I have a chance at losing.  Sorry, mom, about my Monopoly temper tantrums.  By the way, I still throw tantrums if I can't get the green properties to this day.  I HAD to get those.  Otherwise, I would cry.


56)  Stealing this from my colleague.  Watching Nuggets PG Andre Miller shoot the basketball is like watching someone put a really big library book back on the shelf.


57)  Top college football classes.
-Bama-Duh
-Texas-2005 seems SO long ago for a team that is always around this spot
-Florida-miss that QB from Denver much?
-Ohio State-you HAVE to be a cheater.  Have to.
-Stanford-nothing like a bunch of pissed off smart kids running around tackling people.  It's like Good Will Hunting drunk...
-Michigan-you guys are like Hall and Oates.  (singing) SO close, but so far away...
-USC-WOW...uhhhh..probation...WOW.
-FSU-this MUST be the year, right?
-Miami-I guess even though you cheat, no one cares.  Got some class kids coming to this school.
-Oklahoma-These must be the Top Gun rankings.  Because this looks INVERTED. #10?  Are you the Legends of the Fall?


58)  I get the needed back to back to backs in the NBA.  But home and away?  BS.  The Nuggets went to LA Thursday, play at home (in a blizzard) Friday, and go to Portland on Saturday.  I guess Jason Alexander is doing well, switched sports, and is prosperous.  Someone go look under his desk.  Listen for the alarm clock.


59)  The finale...random takes.  Kyle Korver has an 88% career FT% and is 74% this year (weird), the Bulls Noah runs like a deer/ antelope I think on purpose, and you can find Jim Tressel doing something NOT in sports at Akron College.  Fancy.


60)  That's it.  I think 60 is enough for a Friday night.  I need to go outside and see if it is still snowing.  As one shepherd said to the other, let's get the flock out of here.


61a)  This snow is "Risin' up.  Back on the streets"...Lol.
62a)  Pats.  27-24.