Read it, don't read it, I don't care...just need to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance...
At my signal, unleash hell...
1) Changing high profile jobs is a subject that I will not pretend to know. All this stuff is going around about why Theo Epstein "left" the Red Sox. Who cares? Good for him. Even though the Cubs are not as big as spenders (I would LOVE to be a fly on THAT wall the day that Epstein goes in to the owner and tells him who he wants to pick up, and they say..."sorry, Theo, that is all we are going to spend." Theo will run out and watch Moneyball like an up-and-coming boxer goes to watch Rocky), they are STILL a high profile team in a large market with a diehard fan base. Now. Think about THIS. IF. I stress IF, because I look up and down the lineup and don't see it happening soon. IF, Theo pulls some kind of miracle over there in Chi-town, what is his legacy? He would have stopped pretty much the two most well known curses in the history of sports. He got the Red Sox fans TWO World Series. Don't you be saying "don't let the door hit you in the ass," Red Sox fans. He did you right. If he pulls similar stuff over in Chicago, he will literally be legendary.
2. Garcia is gone from the Gamecocks. Dude has pulled an entire Terrell Owens career and compressed it into a small college career. Talk about someone who will be kicking himself in a few years, if he hasn't already gone drinking with Marcus Vick and Lawrence Phillips. Funny thing is this. The Gamecocks have had great recruiting classes for about 10 years. The last three years? Could have been contenders. It is a shame Spurrier didn't draw the line before they lost that game this season. I have a feeling they would have been in the mix.
3. Sorry. You caught me trying to figure out how old Barry Sanders is. I bet you he would like to be part of this Lions party. I personally just think they are good because there were rumors that the league was debating taking them off Thanksgiving Day games. You see, them and Dallas made a pact. "We are both going to be GOOD this year." The pact is looking like the pact that Jerry and George made about getting married. I suppose, using that comparison, that the Lions are George. "WE HAD A DEAL!" Perhaps we can compare the Lions to another Seinfeld episode. Maybe the Lions are just doing the opposite of everything they have done in the past. George : Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!
Mr. Steinbrenner : Hire this man!
4. Brandon Marshall has come forward and says his objective this Sunday is to get kicked out/ ejected by the 2nd quarter. When questioned further, he said he wasn't joking, but that the quarter and a half that he was going to play, he was going to be a "monster." Ummm. Do I even NEED to make a joke on this? Is it really necessary for me to comment? This is like a rant mad lib. Here we go. My rant can be interactive and take you back to the 80's on the school bus next to your buddy with the Rubik's Cube. My joke about this Brandon Marshall take by the Fillerbuster is_______________(dumb joke).
5. Berkman and Ellsbury win comeback players of the year in the MLB. My hats off to them and all, but it seems like the comeback awards are pretty cheap the last few years. What happened to guys coming back after battling cancer, or from a car crash, or whatever. Berkman had 14 HR and 58 RBI's last year. He had a bum knee. True, he is older, so of course the timer is ticking, but come on. Ellsbury had injuries and is the prime of his career. I would rather find a real story that someone came back for just par stats from truly down and out than award someone we assumed would find their way back.
6. I am not saying that I feel unsafe in the USA. I know we are taking care of stuff since 9/11. AND. I know Obama loves basketball. Hell, I think the first time I started paying attention to him was the first time on Mike and Mike. I was a Political Science major. I am not proud of that Obama/ Mike and Mike statement. ANYWAY. It's not like he can't get tickets. I just think it is not necessary for the most important person in the world to announce almost a month before the game that he is attending. It is asking for it...on the carrier that carted back Osama's body. Announce it last minute. Make sure no one has time to plan for anything. Go watch "In the Line of Fire," Obama. Next time, just pleasantly surprise us about where you will be. Just looking out for you, bro.
7. In the midst of the whole NBA lockout, Melo has let everyone out there know he wants to do the Denver trip and doesn't want it cancelled. That is very sweet, Melo. I am still trying to figure out what the hell I am doing on Christmas without games possibly which is MUCH more important, and you are letting my town know that you are sad. Save it. Go watch Hoosiers and learn how to play defense. You might jab step you way into the Hall of Fame, but no rings are coming your way without some D.
8. We can now eliminate the Bruins from the NHL playoffs. Yup. You heard it here first. They might not even make the playoffs. They committed a cardinal sin. At their celebration of their championship, they raised the cup above their head. BIG no no. You are messing with the hockey gods on that one, guys. Not MY rule.
9. The Raiders' Terrelle Pryor is back. Yay. No one cares. Actually, I do. I am very impressed you didn't get in trouble during your suspension. Very impressed. I am sure you think you are going to be a QB now, too, don't you?
10. There are things going too fast in my life, and then there are things that move like a snail. I LOVE college basketball, and follow it religiously, and I admit I STILL thought that Juan Fernandez from Temple was in his fifth year last year and graduated. Confused.
11. Speaking of being confused, I hear McNabb is confused by the boos in Minnesota. I get it, and I will explain. You see, Donovan, even if you are good in Philly, if you throw two incomplete passes, they boo you. I was at a game when my favorite player and future Hall of Famer (Mike Schmidt), was booed. The other side of the coin, sir, is this. You are getting booed presently by NICE people who are watching you actually suck on a regular basis. There is no parallel here, Donovan. Once again, before? Town. Now? You. Oh. One more thing, you TEASED those fans. You got them SO close and then blew it. You might have been better off for just going .500 and getting the same amount of boos. Teasing them is like teasing...ooohhh...no, I shouldn't go there. That one would have been BRUTAL though. My mother reads this thing. Easy, Fillerbuster.
12. I think I am rooting for the Brewers (they just went up 4-2 while I am writing this). It is not because of my hatred now for the Cardinals for knocking out my Phils. It is because of that dumb rule about the All-Star game and home advantage. Although it makes the All-Star game a little cooler and meaningful, it would be cool because it was Prince Fielder got the National League the home field...personally. By the way, the Cardinals are just downright scary in the playoffs. They had to win like 17,000 games straight to get IN the playoffs, and then they take out the Phils. When they won the Series, they had 83 wins. 83, people. They get in the big party and they turn into a different team.
13. Verlander allows FOUR earned runs and wins. Who;d have thunk? THAT is why we play the games, right?
14. My weekend is going to be fun. It is not because I am doing anything. Actually, I am attempting to park my car on Friday and not move it all weekend. I am having a cleaning weekend. Room to room, counter to counter. However, it just got more interesting. How do I express this? I consider myself in the top 1% of knowledge of 80's glam rock. Not only is my knowledge scary, but the CD's and cassettes I still own (yes, I said cassettes) are downright illegal. ANYWAY. Quick segway. I sell software. The software is displayed on the monitor in REGIONS. Well, my buddy was talking to a school for girls (he is in the education vertical), and I skyped that he should put in one of the regions "Girlschool," by Britny Fox. He said "nice pull on that one." Then, he tells me about this list his buddy created of the top 100 songs in the eighties performed by bands with 3 #1 hits or less (eliminating Bon Jovi, G N R, VH, Def Leppard, etc.). I ask him to send me the list. OK. Back to my original story. I am going to clean the entire weekend with tapes and CD's all over my living room floor and a pad and pen. I am going to create my list. The top 1% created list. It is going to be fancy. I am also going to up the ante (after going to storage to get the other 100 of my cassettes). I am going to use the same rules, but I have to name songs that never were released OR made the Billboard Top 100. Basically, I am creating a list for people who missed out on the 80's and would never have time to find the hidden gems. It is going to be awesome. I will probably post this list Monday. In discussing this list, I made a very disturbing statement. I commented on how there was no "early Dokken" on his list. From now on when I enter pools in sports, my name will be "Early Dokken."
15. Baylor and RG3 (damn, I hate that acronym) face off against John Travolta...ooops...I saw the words "face off" and almost segway-ed into a movie take. I mean Texas A&M. Am I the only person who chuckled when I read that someone tagged it the "Lawsuit Bowl?" If you need it explained, then I assume you don't find a lot of my takes funny. Moving on.
16. Mike Stoops got fired from Arizona. I think The Fray have the #1 most requested song presently also. Whoops, I guess I am referencing that THAT was the time when they should have fired him. That is what I will call a bloodline contract (hear that, Marcus Vick? Damn, I love picking on you). Unfortunately, in athletes, it is more believable. People hope athletic prowess carries over to the siblings. In coaching, just because your relative is raking over at Oklahoma, doesn't mean YOU are going to be a good coach. Since we are talking about time warps, the following was the highlight of my day. I drove down 17th Street in Denver and passed by a DeLorean. It almost looked like someone actually TRIED to make it the same color and style as in Back to the Future. I almost crashed on purpose and looked for a puffy vest and a skateboard.
17. The Saints' Harper got fined 15K for a late hit. Think about this. If he was dating Tamika Catchings, who made the WNBA first team, he would still be 5k short from paying that off. Seems off to me. What he COULD do in that hypothetical situation is take the 10K from Tamika, go play KGB, flop a nut straight, and THEN pay the fine. See? I am FULL of solutions.
18. There were no major violations in the recruiting of Cam Newton. In a related story, my Steelers' QB did nothing wrong at that college bar. Coincidentally, everyone's story was inconsistent, even though alcohol was only involved in one of the stories.
19. SERIOUS TAKE ALERT. I am SO glad Giants fan Stow got released from the hospital. I wish you and your family well, and hope that any fan who thinks about physically harming any other fan realizes it is just a game. I love the Steelers with all my heart and consider myself top 5% (there is that damn 5% thing again) in passion. However, I would never think about hurting another fan. Never. Sad story all around.
20. Just my personal opinion, but I don't think I would be scared of the Tigers' Valverde. His sunglasses are cool, but his beergut kind of takes away some of the intimidation if you ask me. Grow a huge mustache, eat a couple greens at lunch, and I will revisit this topic.
21. TCU is going to the Big 12? I feel like I am on a sailboat with Rosanne Barr. I can't keep track of this shit. I am going to just hold on to the mast, hope LT. Dan is at the top of it, and examine all of these moves when it settles.
22. In case you haven't noticed, and re-reading that last take, it is evident to me that the things that irritate me most in life are conference re-alignment, Brett Favre comeback articles, athletes who make millions who get DUI's, Tim Tebow, athletes who say that they are going to wrestle an alligator and then back out,...who am I kidding? THAT is why I rant!! A LOT irritates me. I just used two exclamation points. Myra had the baby. If you don't get that one, then be a loyal reader, or buy the Seinfeld DVD set. Get with the program.
23. In memory of Al Davis, the Raiders traded for Aaron Curry of the Seahawks. OK. I will explain that joke. Al Davis was famous for picking up high draft picks who didn't pan out, years after they were drafted. Thus, Aaron Curry was drafted fourth a couple years ago, and is now a Raider. Trust me. That is kind of funny.
24. The US Soccer team lost again. I believe that makes them 1-3 under Klinsman. It was a friendly, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it. If I was not trying to keep to my 30 take, 2.5 hour writing quota, I could write a freaking BOOK on my confusion and irritation with "friendlies." I want to rename them "No Flop" matches.
25. It is absolutely amazing how little I pay attention to fantasy even though I watch more sports per week than some people on ESPN. I found out today that Derrick Mason was traded to the Texans. Then, I remembered he was on my team. THEN, I realized that I have Matt Schaub AND Andre Johnson is hurt. See. That is accidental, negligent, stubborn brilliance. Maybe I will check my people's bye week this week and start people who are actually in a game.
26. I don't consider taking the pen from a hotel room "stealing." I bartended for 14 years, and still treasure any pen I can get my hands on. I feel genuine about this. Hell, in any crazyness in my life, I still haven't even stole a stick of chapstick in my life-thanks, mom (fraternity stealing from sorority houses are NOT on me-I HAD to do it to be a brother). Anyway, in adding to the resume of Hyatt Regency Long Beach and their awesome elevators, go there and grab a pen or two. This pen I am making notes on is AWESOME. Smooth...
27. I am very glad that Sidney Crosby is back to taking contact. Makes the NHL season that much better. Keep getting healthy for the sake of the game.
28. I am very surprised about the lack of law problems with NBA during this lockout. Seriously. Maybe Stern has them locked UP instead of locked OUT.
29. (This was going to be a women's gymnastics take. In my editing, I decided that I don't know crap about it except for Mary Lou Retton and Kerri Shrug, and that it wasn't that funny anyway)
30. I am not surprised that the Eagles are hiring a defensive consultant.
31. I am still confused about what the Big East is doing.
32. I was not surprised to hear Wayne Rooney got suspended 3 games for that kick on the opposing player.
33. I was very sad to hear that South African fighter Anele Makhwelo died after his title fight this past week.
34. I am very surprised to hear that Big Papi is thinking about leaving Boston. Dumb.
35. So. I bartend for 14 years and make Prairie Fires, tabasco and Cuervo, and Soco beats them to the punch to release it nationally? Maybe I am off on this. Maybe Cuervo already has this one out. I can't imagine them missing out on this one. Evidently, I don't ever order tequila proactively at the bar. and that is very true. It is always someone else's idea when tequila is served around me. GEEZ. I am a BOURBON guy.
36. FBS picks (when the HELL did they start calling college football the FBS? It wasn't a blurb. It wasn't a major announcement. Yes. I know it happened years ago, but it just kind of snuck up on us. Whatever.)
Bet the house: Miami (+3) against UNC at UNC...come on. Just because UNC players have parking at home now doesn't mean they can match up with a pissed off Miami team. Did you SEE that Va Tech/ Miami game last week? Wow.
Indiana (+41) at home against Wisconsin...I KNOW Wisconsin are my BCS Championship pick, but 41 pts is a LOT. At Indiana's crib. After a bye week. Take the points.
Clemson (-9) away against Maryland. I am a believer, Boyd playing or not.
South Carolina (-3) at Miss St....they got rid of Garcia, no QB controversy, and talent will win this by two touchdowns.
Baylor (+9) at A&M...A&M might win, but it will be close, people.
Oklahoma State (-8) at Texas...Think OSU is watching last week's OU/ UT game tapes? Yup. I think they are, and McCoy is only one week more mature and probably kind of rattled still.
South Florida (-7.5) at UConn...just because they lost a game they shouldn't have, it doesn't mean that they don't have superior talent.
37. I think that is everything...I KNOW...it is NOT. Freaking Tebow. I am at 37 takes. I did this on PURPOSE. SO I wouldn't have time to dive into this. Maybe because I know he doesn't have the stature. Maybe it is because his throwing motion is all jacked up. Maybe it is because I live here and I am over it. Maybe it is because I thought Brady Quinn was actually the backup. Maybe it is because I think John Fox is "enabling" the crowd the masses. "Are you NOT entertained?" Maybe it is because he is the non-throwing antithesis, likable version of Jeff George. Maybe it is because I haven't spent 5 or 20 minutes with him. Maybe it is because he can't throw the deep ball. Maybe it is because...who am I kidding? I could write "maybe" takes ALL NIGHT. Enjoy your path to the cellar, Broncos fans. Call Stephen Pearcy when you are ready to get out of last place.
38. While the Cardinals are trying to figure out how to clone Carpenter, and while the Tigers are trying to figure out how to clone Verlander, I am going to get out of here. What did one shepherd say to the other? Let's get the flock out of here. I will see you again...but not yet...not yet. Late.
4. Brandon Marshall has come forward and says his objective this Sunday is to get kicked out/ ejected by the 2nd quarter. When questioned further, he said he wasn't joking, but that the quarter and a half that he was going to play, he was going to be a "monster." Ummm. Do I even NEED to make a joke on this? Is it really necessary for me to comment? This is like a rant mad lib. Here we go. My rant can be interactive and take you back to the 80's on the school bus next to your buddy with the Rubik's Cube. My joke about this Brandon Marshall take by the Fillerbuster is_______________(dumb joke).
5. Berkman and Ellsbury win comeback players of the year in the MLB. My hats off to them and all, but it seems like the comeback awards are pretty cheap the last few years. What happened to guys coming back after battling cancer, or from a car crash, or whatever. Berkman had 14 HR and 58 RBI's last year. He had a bum knee. True, he is older, so of course the timer is ticking, but come on. Ellsbury had injuries and is the prime of his career. I would rather find a real story that someone came back for just par stats from truly down and out than award someone we assumed would find their way back.
6. I am not saying that I feel unsafe in the USA. I know we are taking care of stuff since 9/11. AND. I know Obama loves basketball. Hell, I think the first time I started paying attention to him was the first time on Mike and Mike. I was a Political Science major. I am not proud of that Obama/ Mike and Mike statement. ANYWAY. It's not like he can't get tickets. I just think it is not necessary for the most important person in the world to announce almost a month before the game that he is attending. It is asking for it...on the carrier that carted back Osama's body. Announce it last minute. Make sure no one has time to plan for anything. Go watch "In the Line of Fire," Obama. Next time, just pleasantly surprise us about where you will be. Just looking out for you, bro.
7. In the midst of the whole NBA lockout, Melo has let everyone out there know he wants to do the Denver trip and doesn't want it cancelled. That is very sweet, Melo. I am still trying to figure out what the hell I am doing on Christmas without games possibly which is MUCH more important, and you are letting my town know that you are sad. Save it. Go watch Hoosiers and learn how to play defense. You might jab step you way into the Hall of Fame, but no rings are coming your way without some D.
8. We can now eliminate the Bruins from the NHL playoffs. Yup. You heard it here first. They might not even make the playoffs. They committed a cardinal sin. At their celebration of their championship, they raised the cup above their head. BIG no no. You are messing with the hockey gods on that one, guys. Not MY rule.
9. The Raiders' Terrelle Pryor is back. Yay. No one cares. Actually, I do. I am very impressed you didn't get in trouble during your suspension. Very impressed. I am sure you think you are going to be a QB now, too, don't you?
10. There are things going too fast in my life, and then there are things that move like a snail. I LOVE college basketball, and follow it religiously, and I admit I STILL thought that Juan Fernandez from Temple was in his fifth year last year and graduated. Confused.
11. Speaking of being confused, I hear McNabb is confused by the boos in Minnesota. I get it, and I will explain. You see, Donovan, even if you are good in Philly, if you throw two incomplete passes, they boo you. I was at a game when my favorite player and future Hall of Famer (Mike Schmidt), was booed. The other side of the coin, sir, is this. You are getting booed presently by NICE people who are watching you actually suck on a regular basis. There is no parallel here, Donovan. Once again, before? Town. Now? You. Oh. One more thing, you TEASED those fans. You got them SO close and then blew it. You might have been better off for just going .500 and getting the same amount of boos. Teasing them is like teasing...ooohhh...no, I shouldn't go there. That one would have been BRUTAL though. My mother reads this thing. Easy, Fillerbuster.
12. I think I am rooting for the Brewers (they just went up 4-2 while I am writing this). It is not because of my hatred now for the Cardinals for knocking out my Phils. It is because of that dumb rule about the All-Star game and home advantage. Although it makes the All-Star game a little cooler and meaningful, it would be cool because it was Prince Fielder got the National League the home field...personally. By the way, the Cardinals are just downright scary in the playoffs. They had to win like 17,000 games straight to get IN the playoffs, and then they take out the Phils. When they won the Series, they had 83 wins. 83, people. They get in the big party and they turn into a different team.
13. Verlander allows FOUR earned runs and wins. Who;d have thunk? THAT is why we play the games, right?
14. My weekend is going to be fun. It is not because I am doing anything. Actually, I am attempting to park my car on Friday and not move it all weekend. I am having a cleaning weekend. Room to room, counter to counter. However, it just got more interesting. How do I express this? I consider myself in the top 1% of knowledge of 80's glam rock. Not only is my knowledge scary, but the CD's and cassettes I still own (yes, I said cassettes) are downright illegal. ANYWAY. Quick segway. I sell software. The software is displayed on the monitor in REGIONS. Well, my buddy was talking to a school for girls (he is in the education vertical), and I skyped that he should put in one of the regions "Girlschool," by Britny Fox. He said "nice pull on that one." Then, he tells me about this list his buddy created of the top 100 songs in the eighties performed by bands with 3 #1 hits or less (eliminating Bon Jovi, G N R, VH, Def Leppard, etc.). I ask him to send me the list. OK. Back to my original story. I am going to clean the entire weekend with tapes and CD's all over my living room floor and a pad and pen. I am going to create my list. The top 1% created list. It is going to be fancy. I am also going to up the ante (after going to storage to get the other 100 of my cassettes). I am going to use the same rules, but I have to name songs that never were released OR made the Billboard Top 100. Basically, I am creating a list for people who missed out on the 80's and would never have time to find the hidden gems. It is going to be awesome. I will probably post this list Monday. In discussing this list, I made a very disturbing statement. I commented on how there was no "early Dokken" on his list. From now on when I enter pools in sports, my name will be "Early Dokken."
15. Baylor and RG3 (damn, I hate that acronym) face off against John Travolta...ooops...I saw the words "face off" and almost segway-ed into a movie take. I mean Texas A&M. Am I the only person who chuckled when I read that someone tagged it the "Lawsuit Bowl?" If you need it explained, then I assume you don't find a lot of my takes funny. Moving on.
16. Mike Stoops got fired from Arizona. I think The Fray have the #1 most requested song presently also. Whoops, I guess I am referencing that THAT was the time when they should have fired him. That is what I will call a bloodline contract (hear that, Marcus Vick? Damn, I love picking on you). Unfortunately, in athletes, it is more believable. People hope athletic prowess carries over to the siblings. In coaching, just because your relative is raking over at Oklahoma, doesn't mean YOU are going to be a good coach. Since we are talking about time warps, the following was the highlight of my day. I drove down 17th Street in Denver and passed by a DeLorean. It almost looked like someone actually TRIED to make it the same color and style as in Back to the Future. I almost crashed on purpose and looked for a puffy vest and a skateboard.
17. The Saints' Harper got fined 15K for a late hit. Think about this. If he was dating Tamika Catchings, who made the WNBA first team, he would still be 5k short from paying that off. Seems off to me. What he COULD do in that hypothetical situation is take the 10K from Tamika, go play KGB, flop a nut straight, and THEN pay the fine. See? I am FULL of solutions.
18. There were no major violations in the recruiting of Cam Newton. In a related story, my Steelers' QB did nothing wrong at that college bar. Coincidentally, everyone's story was inconsistent, even though alcohol was only involved in one of the stories.
19. SERIOUS TAKE ALERT. I am SO glad Giants fan Stow got released from the hospital. I wish you and your family well, and hope that any fan who thinks about physically harming any other fan realizes it is just a game. I love the Steelers with all my heart and consider myself top 5% (there is that damn 5% thing again) in passion. However, I would never think about hurting another fan. Never. Sad story all around.
20. Just my personal opinion, but I don't think I would be scared of the Tigers' Valverde. His sunglasses are cool, but his beergut kind of takes away some of the intimidation if you ask me. Grow a huge mustache, eat a couple greens at lunch, and I will revisit this topic.
21. TCU is going to the Big 12? I feel like I am on a sailboat with Rosanne Barr. I can't keep track of this shit. I am going to just hold on to the mast, hope LT. Dan is at the top of it, and examine all of these moves when it settles.
22. In case you haven't noticed, and re-reading that last take, it is evident to me that the things that irritate me most in life are conference re-alignment, Brett Favre comeback articles, athletes who make millions who get DUI's, Tim Tebow, athletes who say that they are going to wrestle an alligator and then back out,...who am I kidding? THAT is why I rant!! A LOT irritates me. I just used two exclamation points. Myra had the baby. If you don't get that one, then be a loyal reader, or buy the Seinfeld DVD set. Get with the program.
23. In memory of Al Davis, the Raiders traded for Aaron Curry of the Seahawks. OK. I will explain that joke. Al Davis was famous for picking up high draft picks who didn't pan out, years after they were drafted. Thus, Aaron Curry was drafted fourth a couple years ago, and is now a Raider. Trust me. That is kind of funny.
24. The US Soccer team lost again. I believe that makes them 1-3 under Klinsman. It was a friendly, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it. If I was not trying to keep to my 30 take, 2.5 hour writing quota, I could write a freaking BOOK on my confusion and irritation with "friendlies." I want to rename them "No Flop" matches.
25. It is absolutely amazing how little I pay attention to fantasy even though I watch more sports per week than some people on ESPN. I found out today that Derrick Mason was traded to the Texans. Then, I remembered he was on my team. THEN, I realized that I have Matt Schaub AND Andre Johnson is hurt. See. That is accidental, negligent, stubborn brilliance. Maybe I will check my people's bye week this week and start people who are actually in a game.
26. I don't consider taking the pen from a hotel room "stealing." I bartended for 14 years, and still treasure any pen I can get my hands on. I feel genuine about this. Hell, in any crazyness in my life, I still haven't even stole a stick of chapstick in my life-thanks, mom (fraternity stealing from sorority houses are NOT on me-I HAD to do it to be a brother). Anyway, in adding to the resume of Hyatt Regency Long Beach and their awesome elevators, go there and grab a pen or two. This pen I am making notes on is AWESOME. Smooth...
27. I am very glad that Sidney Crosby is back to taking contact. Makes the NHL season that much better. Keep getting healthy for the sake of the game.
28. I am very surprised about the lack of law problems with NBA during this lockout. Seriously. Maybe Stern has them locked UP instead of locked OUT.
29. (This was going to be a women's gymnastics take. In my editing, I decided that I don't know crap about it except for Mary Lou Retton and Kerri Shrug, and that it wasn't that funny anyway)
30. I am not surprised that the Eagles are hiring a defensive consultant.
31. I am still confused about what the Big East is doing.
32. I was not surprised to hear Wayne Rooney got suspended 3 games for that kick on the opposing player.
33. I was very sad to hear that South African fighter Anele Makhwelo died after his title fight this past week.
34. I am very surprised to hear that Big Papi is thinking about leaving Boston. Dumb.
35. So. I bartend for 14 years and make Prairie Fires, tabasco and Cuervo, and Soco beats them to the punch to release it nationally? Maybe I am off on this. Maybe Cuervo already has this one out. I can't imagine them missing out on this one. Evidently, I don't ever order tequila proactively at the bar. and that is very true. It is always someone else's idea when tequila is served around me. GEEZ. I am a BOURBON guy.
36. FBS picks (when the HELL did they start calling college football the FBS? It wasn't a blurb. It wasn't a major announcement. Yes. I know it happened years ago, but it just kind of snuck up on us. Whatever.)
Bet the house: Miami (+3) against UNC at UNC...come on. Just because UNC players have parking at home now doesn't mean they can match up with a pissed off Miami team. Did you SEE that Va Tech/ Miami game last week? Wow.
Indiana (+41) at home against Wisconsin...I KNOW Wisconsin are my BCS Championship pick, but 41 pts is a LOT. At Indiana's crib. After a bye week. Take the points.
Clemson (-9) away against Maryland. I am a believer, Boyd playing or not.
South Carolina (-3) at Miss St....they got rid of Garcia, no QB controversy, and talent will win this by two touchdowns.
Baylor (+9) at A&M...A&M might win, but it will be close, people.
Oklahoma State (-8) at Texas...Think OSU is watching last week's OU/ UT game tapes? Yup. I think they are, and McCoy is only one week more mature and probably kind of rattled still.
South Florida (-7.5) at UConn...just because they lost a game they shouldn't have, it doesn't mean that they don't have superior talent.
37. I think that is everything...I KNOW...it is NOT. Freaking Tebow. I am at 37 takes. I did this on PURPOSE. SO I wouldn't have time to dive into this. Maybe because I know he doesn't have the stature. Maybe it is because his throwing motion is all jacked up. Maybe it is because I live here and I am over it. Maybe it is because I thought Brady Quinn was actually the backup. Maybe it is because I think John Fox is "enabling" the crowd the masses. "Are you NOT entertained?" Maybe it is because he is the non-throwing antithesis, likable version of Jeff George. Maybe it is because I haven't spent 5 or 20 minutes with him. Maybe it is because he can't throw the deep ball. Maybe it is because...who am I kidding? I could write "maybe" takes ALL NIGHT. Enjoy your path to the cellar, Broncos fans. Call Stephen Pearcy when you are ready to get out of last place.
38. While the Cardinals are trying to figure out how to clone Carpenter, and while the Tigers are trying to figure out how to clone Verlander, I am going to get out of here. What did one shepherd say to the other? Let's get the flock out of here. I will see you again...but not yet...not yet. Late.
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