091911-Carpool Lanes and Misdemeanor Battery

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...I just need to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance...

I feel the need.  The need, for speed...

1.  Michael Vick is out of commission temporarily because of a concussion.  On top of that, the self-proclaimed "dread team" loses.  I am not insinuating any foul play, just commenting on a coincidence.  Just being a football fan, like him or not, you hope he comes back quickly.  However, going with worse case scenario, and knowing what we know about concussions, does anyone else think it is kind of weird that he gets hurt during a game with Atlanta?  Odd circumstances for sure.

2.  Nadal is coming forward talking about how there are too many events in the tennis schedule.  He is right.  I find it hard to believe they can't find a week or two during the year to find the Davis Cup it's own time.  Sure, the Davis Cup is not as prominent as it was, say, 25 years ago.  However, there are still patriotic players who want to represent their country.  There are still people who want to watch it.  Having one of the matches 4 days after a major is just ridiculous.  Sure, maybe 98% of the players don't need to worry about doing this back to back, but punishing a patriotic stud who doesn't suck like the others who didn't make the final?  Wrong.

3.  It is a shame a class act stud like Joe Mauer will miss the rest of the season with pneumonia.  It is also a shame how much the underachieving Twins stink.  It is like the cliche says..."on paper."  

4.  In his quarterly "shut the hell up, people" wire release, Jack Nicklaus reminds us that Tiger can still get to 18 Majors.  Word, Jack.  If the guy who is known as the greatest of all time, whose record Tiger would break, is saying that, then I feel fine about being a homer and saying the same thing.  He is not a running back in the NFL with a limited shelf life.  He is in shape, and golf's timetable works fine with what he is trying to accomplish.  Perkins, anyone?

5.  Speaking of golf, are the Red Sox trying to pull a '96 Greg Norman at the Masters?  They are doing everything in their power to let the Rays step up to the mic known as the wildcard spot in the playoffs.  A lot of injuries hurt them, but I thought they would hurt them for a championship run, not just to make the playoffs.

6.  Here is your useless fact of the week.  LSU and Mississippi State played Thursday.  When was the last time those two traditional schools met before where they both were ranked?  Never.  Weird.  I would never have guessed that.

7.  I know I have said this before, but I watched another episode the other day reminding me.  What did Elaine do to piss off the producers of Seinfeld?  Seriously.  Watch 10 episodes of the show.  Rank Jerry's quality of girl with Elaine's quality of guy in each.  Take the average of the rankings and let me know what you got.  Putty, you are the shit, so know that I am not busting on you.

8.  I am assuming it is because I live in Denver that this next story didn't get more pub.  Three players in St. John's basketball recruiting class were ruled academically ineligible.  Steve Lavin was truly building something amazing there and now this is huge speed bump.  He is trying to keep them in the fold, but this would be a major blow to that comeback story.  Hey, by the way, Steve, you are really going out and grabbing those quality kids, aye?  "Uhhh.  I don't care about your grades.  I saw the tape.  You are good with me, kid."

9.  As a Phillies fan, I am really not worried about the Yankees this year.  We have the horses this year.  However, that team from Detroit is starting to raise my eyebrows.  I still think we have the horses (aside from my continuing concern about our closers), but am sure as hell glad Verlander can't trot out there more than 2, maybe 3 times in a series.  24-5?  Stud.  This brings up a point that I will never sway on.  In my conversations with people, it is truly a point where people are on one side of the fence or the other.  Someone who takes the mound every 5 days cannot, in my opinion EVER win the MVP...unless he is 31-2 or something ridiculous.  Sorry, dude.  24-5 doesn't cut it with me.

10.  OK.  My buddy has posted some new blogs.  Curious about new movies, old movies, or ranking movies.  Check him out.  This week he ranked the top 10 sports movies.  Being a Philly area person growing up, I am still bothered by Cinderella Man being ahead of Rocky, but the rest seem pretty in line to me.  Take that change, consider Rounders since poker is technically on ESPN and therefore a sport, sub out Blue Chips and plug in Miracle, and I am pretty much all good. You also need to find some room for White Men Can't Jump and give Tin Cup an honorable mention.   http://rockiesmovies.blogspot.com/

11.  Randy Moss is not coming back.  Good.  I am glad someone actually retires and stays retired (I am pretty sure if he wouldn't come back with Brady throwing to him that he is not coming back with anyone).  Or maybe he realized that the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man would have destroyed the word if him and Ochocinco got on the same team.  Wow.

12.  Speaking of Ocho, our team of ummm...wire-makers...were in perfect form this week.  Metta World Peace is now Metta World Peace (I want the NBA season to start simply because I want to see his new jersey...he he he...), Ocho made the wire for actually being silent on Twitter, Terrell Owens was busted, check THIS out, for driving solo in the carpool lane (Dude, you were creative this week-awesome), and we had a return from an old school guy joining them.  Sebastian Janikowski was busted for false imprisonment and misdemeanor battery against some chick.  Welcome back.  We will always welcome you with open arms on our Misfits team.

13.  Drew Brees contracts are pretty far apart.  I don't usually buy into this theory, but I would be feeling just fine if I was a Saints fan.  I think he wants to be there after this year, that they will pay him, and that he WILL be there next year.

14.  Pryor is appealing his 5 game ban.  Yawn....moving on.

15.  Urlacher practices a few days after his mother's death.  You are a badass, and my thoughts are with you and your family.  Dude is so tough, but handling something like that?  I can't imagine.

16.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Kobe is mulling overseas options.  Seriously?  Media.  Stop reporting it until something HAPPENS.  He is not going anywhere anyway unless something officially comes out saying the season is cancelled.  What the HELL am I going to do in November on weeknights if the season is cancelled?  Shit.  What the hell am I going to do on Christmas?  That would clear out my entire day and night.

17.  This super conference stuff is crazy.  I get it.  It is evolution.  You don't have to tell me the advantages of making them.  I know the reasons.  However, it just throws me off.  I have spent my life memorizing where each team is at, history, etc.  Now I have to relearn this stuff (it is all about me)?  I like where everyone was at.  So, UT and OU might go west (the Presidents just got the OK from each school's board today), the Big 12 and Big East might merge (actually a good idea if UT and OU leave), and Pitt and Syracuse have applied to the ACC.  Through all of this mess, all I could think about was this.  You thought ACC basketball was good before?  Wow.  You move Pitt and Syracuse over there and that is just SICK.  Hell, maybe UVA will be good again someday.  No.  That is just dreaming.  Stick to reality, Fillerbuster.

18.  Even though Crosby fans are giving standing ovations at practice skates, does everyone realize that they get Malkin back this year?  No Crosby, and they are still contenders.  With Crosby, they are approaching scary.

19.  In case you live in a bubble, that doesn't have any television, I wanted to update you on a fact.  Not an opinion.  A fact.  Boise State football is very, very good.  Watch a game if you have not yet.  It is like Tecmo Bowl when Moore plays.  He reminds me of Brady or Joe Montana.  It is like my bar conversation this weekend.  Who started ahead of Brady in college???  Brian Greise.

20.  My mother reads my blog, and likes it a lot.  No offense to you all, but the fact that she likes my blog inspires me to keep on trucking.  She could outdo 90% of you in a sports conversation.  However, she corrected me on something I know I shouldn't do.  She said I can say shit, damn, ass, etc. as much as I want, but I shouldn't take Jesus's name in vane.  I am sorry if I offended anyone, and won't do it anymore.  Mom, it is because of you of any positive qualities that I have, and I will listen once again.  You are right.  Sorry.

21.  If you notice a break in my stream of consciousness this week, it is because I have to break (I rarely ever do it.  I actually have found it impossible once I get going) for a TV show.  Premier week.  Don't worry about a long take on me telling you what shows to watch, as I only watch 3 regularly (my time is precious enough squeezing in sports and Seinfeld reruns).  Watch Criminal Minds for a drama.  It is a high quality serial killer tracking program.  Watch Rules of Engagement.  Putty (he will ALWAYS be Putty to me) makes the show.  He will never win any awards because he is just the same character as he was on Seinfeld.  That is what makes it awesome.  Watch 2 1/2 Men.  Actually, I am nervous.  I have no idea how they are going to streamline the new character into the show.  Is he Charlie Sheen.  Is he a new character?  I have no idea.  Let's just say that the show was awesome before Sheen's escapades, and I hope it is still high quality.  More on this later.

22.  My picks for FBS this week?  I only went 4-3, with an unofficial loss on the FSU game.  I didn't technically say to take that one.  I just said it was going to be closer than last year.  FSU needs another 2 years and it will fully be back.  The OU/ FSU game was high quality.  Here are a couple thoughts on it as I watched the whole thing, unengaged at home.  FSU adjusted to the no-huddle, and as expected, the home crowd helped limit its effect on FSU's defense.  The defense from both sides was awesome.  Turnovers actually were the element that made the final score higher.  You could tell that team speed on FSU is catching up with the top teams.  The better team won, but the gap is getting closer.  Jack Nicklaus's grandson plays for FSU.  He doesn't wear gloves if you ever want to find him on the field.  A tight end who doesn't wear gloves.  Interesting.  Badass.  Trickett's play after Manuel got injured HAS to give FSU fans hope for the next few years.  Dude can play.  As plays broke down though, Manuel's speed out of the pocket was sorely missed.  The kickers from FSU were awesome.  Their PK kicks 46 yarders with 20 yards to spare, and their Punter kicked a 69 yard punt without any real huge roll to exaggerate the yardage.  Odd these days that the good schools have two solid kickers.  They usually seem to overlook those positions.  Great game.  I hoped you watched it.

23.  I want to have a drink with Bill Polan.  I am intrigued.  After watching the first Colts game and then watching then drop the game at home at home against the mighty Browns, I am wondering if he rethought those jokes about being in Mississippi.  The reason I want to have a drink with him is not because he is 0-2.  It is because he must hate the Favre wire talk as much as I do to not play that card and make an offer.  Peyton Manning could win the NFL's MVP award without playing this year.  Seriously.

24.  It is a year of people being back where they belong.  I am talking about coordinators who couldn't exactly talk their players into running into a wall who are now doing what they should be doing...running offenses and defenses.  Tom Cable and Josh McDaniels, I hope you do well, but you are no head coach.

25.  Did Ted Danson suddenly age 15 years in the last 2 years?

26.  Tim Tebow....nevermind.  I am going to let it brew for another few days.  I think I have to space out my talk about him every two rants.  Maybe my new subject take will be "I have NO idea of why I hate you, but I do...you and Phil Mickelson..."

27.  I am finally going to the movie theater this weekend.  I am probably going by myself, as I plan on asking eligible ladies, but am only going with one who can name the era that Moneyball occurred.  Yeah.  THAT will happen.  At least I am just asking for a decade.  That gives them a chance.  In a related note, I have decided to not clean my jeep between now and the weekend.

28.  Tony Stewart won the first Chase race.  I have no idea if he even can win it.  I tried to look it up as you know I am very curious about this whole Chase thing, but it wasn't explained to me in the first two paragraphs whether he can win it or where he was in the standings, so I gave up.  My window of time reading a NASCAR article is 26.3 seconds.  On a related side note, I like the new Nascar commercial where the guy keeps going left.  I just wish it was a longer commercial.

29.  Tony Romo is now a tough guy, and ended up winning.  I guess we will just see how this plays out.  I don't know about you, but I am not bothered by reading "cracked rib," but I totally cringe when reading "punctured lung."

30.  Justin Rose won the BMW Championship.  Great.  The guy is winning the tournaments we don't care about, he was my pick a few years ago as the next coming of something big, and he can't place in a Major to save his life.  Speaking of being wrong on golf predictions, what the hell are you doing, Charles Howell?  Are you even on the tour anymore?

31.  2 1/2 Men.  I would rank it as a success.  It was implied that Rose killed Charlie Harper after he was busted with another chick.  Believable.  New character is introduced as a billionaire who fails a suicide attempt.  I am not saying they split the atom, but I will continue to watch it.

32.  After my work stuff is done this week, I will be spending some time this weekend reformatting this blog.  Different home page and taking my blog buddy's advice and having a usual "sky is blue, "joke is staring me in the face," etc. every single time out.  I want this to evolve.  Hit me up with any suggestions, please.

33.  Cam Newton is the most written about 0-2 QB I have ever seen.  Sure, he is lighting it up stat wise.  Sure, he plays on a bad team so we can excuse him.  I am still not a buyer.  I still think the lack of playing in a non-pro style offense will hurt him.  Stats aren't everything, people.  If given the choice to have a beer with Dan Fouts or Joe Montana, I am going Joe Montana every time.

34.  Speaking of non-pro offenses, it amazes me about the evolution of college football.  Sporting News just released their best college teams of all time.  I relatively agree with their picks, although I think the '68 Buckeyes were a couple spots too high and that the '45 Army team was a little low.  I also think the '87 Hurricanes got docked a few spots because they are "recent."  All that being said, I am amazed that we basically have two primary wishbone/ triple option offenses (Georgia Tech and Navy) these days because of the shift towards" pro-style" offenses, but if you look at the all time list, five of the top ten ran offenses with high wishbone tendencies.  Anyone want to rethink their philosophy?

35.  Speaking of OU, Bob Stoops got re-upped in his contract. I agree with this absolutely.  In the words of KGB, "pay him.  pay that man his money."  You guys were falling off the radar before he arrived.

36.  Except for the Red Sox/ Rays race, do you have any recollection of a year with so little drama going into the home stretch in MLB?  The bad news is that there is little drama.  The good news is that we can be pretty sure we are getting the best teams in the playoffs.

37.  Stars are aligned, and everything is back to normal.  If any bettor out there did NOT take the Steelers at home minus the points after the Ravens debacle, you should be examined.  The only side note I have is I want to meet the people upstairs for the Steelers.  Whoever told Tomlin to challenge that goal line play was smoking crack.

38.  NBA lockout update...just get that shit done, guys...

39.  I am confused.  Is the Transformers that is coming to video soon the orginal re-released, or is it the third installment?  Just call it the third one, people.

40.  Adam Dunn, mid-week, was batting .161 with 161 K's.  That stat is awesome.

41.  I think the NFL should adopt the hash mark rule that college has.  I think the kicker should have to lineup at the closest one.  I think the change of strategy would make the kicks more exciting.  They are better, right?  Make it tougher on them.

42.  I don't think I missed much.  I am shutting it down.  I hope you enjoyed my thoughts, and in the words of Brady Quinn, "NOW, I'm done.?"  Peace, people.