062311

The Rant

by The Fillerbuster11

Read it, don't read it, I don't care...I just need to get some things off my chest...

In particular order of chronology or importance...

1. I usually don't start this way.  I usually do it mid to late rant, but this is necessary.  Did anyone see this coming?  All the hoopla in the freaking world would not have swayed me from seeing this one coming.  Hell, if I was still betting, which thank God I am not, I would have bet my first and last rent on this thing going straight sets.  Isner-Mahut.  138 games last year just in the final set.  Oddly enough getting a rematch?  2 hours this time?  Straight sets?  Shut up, devil's advocates.  I know two of the sets went to a tiebreaker.  This was as predictable as me not finding a parking spot on a Friday night in my neighborhood.  As predictable as me occupying a bar sometime during the weekend.  As predictable as me attending Widespread Panic when they are in a 200 mile concentric (rusty on geometry...does that reference make sense?) circle. As predictable as...ok I'm done.
2. More UNC football allegations?  Traffic tickets and more, guys.  Does anyone else find it odd that they are cheating and they still suck?  There sure as hell aren't any championships or Heisman Trophies to take away.
3. The Philadelphia Flyers didn't make the playoffs.  They were at the bottom of the league.  Hold on..what? They were pretty good?  Then what the f%^&?  Well, then, I am glad I am home drinking and our GM knows what he is doing, because trading away Carter and Richards is idiotic to me.  Settle down, Filler.  You just sell signage software.  There HAS to be a reason why that GM knows what he is doing.  Right?  RIGHT???
4. I see that ex Florida CB Jenkins has a new direction in life.  By that I mean, he found North Alabama.  Screw my last rant's hypothetical bet on SW Missouri State to make a bowl.  I am all about the Tide...damn...or whatever the hell their mascot is.  I am not allowed to go on Google to look, but I am sure my next joke would have been funny once I found out.  There is no way you are passing to that side of the field if you are their opponent.  Nice, Janoris.
5. So I looked up the NHL awards.  I won't even comment on Lidstrom winning the Norris with a -2 Plus/ Minus (sorry, Soup), but do they award the Lady Byng later??  Did I go to the wrong site?  I am always curious who is the nicest guy amongst the nastiest (Ms. Jackson if you want to be nasty) dudes in sports.
6. I meant to look the details up before my rant, but what the hell is up with the infield fly rule existing in college baseball?  I want to take an aluminum bat to the next umpire who makes that call.  Total BS people.
7. One of the Predator sisters cried after she won a first round Wimbledon match.  Is there any need to make a joke here.  I think not.  I am already smiling.  Join the party.
8. NFL talks...does anyone else feel like every time we get an update, we are just hitting snooze on our $7 digital alarm clock?
9. Paul Konerko is red hot.  Does anyone else feel like he might go on a hitting streak when we are 50?  I know sports, and I bet I couldn't get within 3 years of his age even if I won that North Alabama bowl bet.
10.  Landon Donovan is the stud, but give me Clint Dempsey on my team any day of the week.  Dude is like Mark Madsen on crack...and no, I have not seen him dance...just talking about heart and effort.
11. Riggleman is leaving the Nationals after being a hot team?  Yes, people, I totally get him being pissed off on one-year contracts, That is still like Costanza leaving on a high note from meetings though.
12.  Rory is taking 3 weeks off.  Dude, just check back in when the street lights are on or when the British Open starts.  Whatever you want.  Enjoy this shit.  Wear a red shirt on the trails by the beach.  Just tell us if it is because you are going to shoot red numbers or if it is because you are out for blood.  I am not a believer that you are taking my boy's crown, but soak this shit up.  Take Dirk with you, and tell him to stop debating playing a ridiculous tourney for the Germans.  You both should take it easy and get laid.  Just stay away from getting breakfast at Perkins.
13. Oregon gets busted for paying money for old recruiting info.  Slow down, people.  Read it again.  One more time... Nevermind, the funny part of that headline is OLD.
14. I don't care what you guys say.  Winger had a hit "Seventeen" and then got grouped into the Trixter, Poison, Dokken, Enough's Enough, Warrant, etc. group.  I LIKE the rest of their songs.  I even own one of Kip's solo CD's.  Yes.  He made a solo CD.  Actually, two.  And I enjoy listening to it...whatever
15. Jagr might go to the Pens or Wings?  Damn.  We already did the sky is blue segment on the first take.  SEE?  THAT is why I keep it in the holster.
16. The CWS is fun because you see pitchers with Eye Black and managers who pull the guy out of right field to pitch in relief.
17. UVA lost to South Carolina.  They actually got smoked.  However, know that they are winning right now against Cal, that they blew their chance when they had bases loaded in the fifth with 1 out and got nothing, and were EXTREMELY bothered by the sidearm pitching of Jonathan Taylor.  It was like the entire lineup had never seen a sidearm pitcher.  You know what?  My son that I most likely will never have will not be that punter making 300k a year for 20 years like I planned.  He will be a sidearm pitcher.  Done and done.
18. On a serious note (sorry if you fell down from that statement), the story about the kid Charlie who beat cancer and beat it with the help of the support of the Gamecocks (he is their bat boy) was extremely touching.  Google it (hey, when i say that now, this website's owner can consider it an ad...Hey YouTube, call me).  Great story.
19. Laimbeer got interviewed for the Pistons.  I am happy with that, but can you at least give Zeke a chance? You guys think it is a coincidence that I have that odd number "11" after my name for no reason?
20. Hey, people.  If you guys ever get to be an NBA coach, and don't get invited to all of the conferences, the meetings, and still think you have a job, I think you should wear your goggles the next time you are seen in public.  Sorry, Kurt.
21. Did anyone else notice that Kurt Herbstreit had serious tan lines around his eyes in that "family first" commercial?  I didn't know you knew Rory and Dirk that well, Kurt.
22. Nash traded?  Parker traded?  Even though none of it ends up true (and yes, I fell off the couch when Ray Allen and Garnett actually went to Boston a few years ago), it is still fun.
23. The Flyers and Rangers will play in next year's Winter Classic.  On a side note, I LOVE this event.  It is so much fun watching outdoor hockey.  I just hope they don't replace the Flyers after those two trades. (do NOT write back how the guys back are good.  I am aware.  The take was about the fact that a team who wasn't making the playoffs would make those trades, not a team that was a Pronger injury and a semi-hot goal-tender away from making a run.
24. OK.  I have new rules.  Instead of 60 or 70 takes, I have made promises.  So, I am cutting it off now.  I will not talk about McKeon's first win (how cute), Riley's comments on LeBron and his coach (they start slow next year and he will be put on the lie detector), any baseball at all (next time I promise), NASCAR fining the Gibbs racing team (do pit crews really make that much to afford those fines?), Ohio State (Yawn), Reyes saying no contract talks during season (how noble), or Li Na losing in the2nd round after her French victory (like Chandler once said to Joey, "TOO MANY JOKES").  Hey, check that out.  That was a lot like The Colbert Report's "The Word."  I should have a take on bears next week.
25. AND, FINALLY, just because I am public, doesn't mean you escape.  Hell, I have you to thank for this motivation and this rant.  This thing started 99% about a hooker who I was engaged to, and has morphed into an all sports "rant."  Much love, Taint.

Like one shepherd said to the other shepherd, let's get the flock out of here...